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Tango, alongside Ren, had returned a few days prior from one of Grian’s games. Zedaph had always hated being away from Tango, but he loved how happy the games made him. He loved listening to the stories Tango was willing to share, but this time, Zedaph could not help but notice the same name pop up a little too much.
Jimmy.
Tango would talk about ‘his rancher’ so much, Zedaph felt as if he would rather still be in the games at their ranch, instead of on Hermitcraft, with him.
Even now, in bed as they wind down to sleep, Tango won't stop talking about his Jimmy. He spooned Zedaph from behind, keeping him in his warm embrace as he continued to divulge stories from the most recent game. “And then the warden—”
“Hey babe, can I—” Zedaph hesitated, not wanting to admit what he was thinking in fear he was over reacting, “—can I ask you something?”
Tango, none the wiser, let Zedaph ask whatever he wanted.
“Well, I know with the whole ‘soulbound’ thing it may have just messed with your brain, and I get I’m probably just paranoid and overreacting, but—” Zedaph pulled away, just a tad, from Tango, turning his face to meet his eyes, “Was it love?”
Tango froze. His warmth began to cool over. He had no way to respond. He was not even sure if he himself knew the answer.
“Was he just your rancher, or did you love him too?” Zedaph’s eyes began to tear up at the sudden lack of communication. He did not know what he should be feeling without a response, but so far, he was not feeling all too hopeful.
Tango's voice had been stripped from him. His time spent at the ranch with Jimmy was some of the happiest moments he's had in a long time. Maybe he did feel something, just a little, underneath his chest. But he did not want to, he wanted to tell Zedaph a truth that he was the only one he had ever loved, but he began to doubt the statement.
Zedaph took the continued silence as an answer he wished he'd never hear. He pulled further away from Tango, not wanting to touch him at all. He knew this was cruel, that Tango loved nothing more than the comfort of holding someone close, but Zedaph could not bring himself to sit idle in a cheater's arms. “Did you love him more than me?”
Tango felt his chest tighten. He finally knew an answer to one of the questions and yet he could not find the words to say it. He stuttered out an ‘of course not’ while his eyes helped talk for him. They welled up in hot tears as they tried to find Zedaph's, but he refused to look at him.
“So you did love him then,” Zedaph responded as he felt his heart drop at the truth. He stood up, refusing to face the man he still loved. He began searching for his shoes as Tango tried to protest.
“No- what- maybe!- I don’t know! Can we just talk about this please?!”
“Tell me, does Jimmy know anything about me? Does he even know my name?” Zedaph found his coat and walked towards their bedroom door. Standing there, he finally made eye contact with his boyfriend who remained on their shared bed. “Because I’m starting to think I know more about Jimmy than myself.”
Tango racked his brian, trying to think of a single moment he may have talked about him. His mind was blank. Tango considered lying, but it felt wrong, especially after he had already hurt Zedaph with his words, or lack thereof.
Zedaph recognized the silence once again as an answer he hated.
“Can we just talk about this please?” Tango begged.
“I’ve tried, but you’ve stayed silent.” Zedaph turned his back to Tango. “Maybe in the morning you will have some words.” Zedaph walked out, shutting the door behind him, leaving Tango in near complete silence, the only noise left was the sound of his burning tears falling from his cheeks.
Tango knew he messed up. He knew he loved Zadaph more than anyone else, but he had no way to prove it.