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It was February 31st 1967, and as expected, London was filled with rain, rough and heavy rain in fact. On this same day Francis Bonnefoy, formally known as France, and Arthur Kirkland, formally known as England, were getting their 94th divorce.
They death glared each other as they signed the contract for their official divorce. Once that was done they were no longer a married couple.
The two always divorced for stupid reasons, once was because Francis forgot to buy bread from the store, another was because Arthur didn’t crack Francis fast and rough enough in sex, there was also because Arthur’s eyebrows looked ridiculous and Francis didn’t want to be married to a man with black furry caterpillars as eyebrows, another case was because Arthur rewarded the George Cross to Malta back in 1964 while Arthur couldn’t even afford a proper marriage ring for Francis so he got pissed off a shit ton. Andddddd many many more reasons.
This time they got divorced because Francis told Russia about how fat and sexy Russia’s tits were and how he would shove his face in them if he could.
Ok, I mean, this time the divorce was sorta reasonable lowkey.
“This time we’re officially done! I don’t want to see your frog face anytime soon!” Arthur lashed out, he was enraged with Francis.
After each and every divorce they’d always somehow remarry each other as if nothing ever happened. Arthur always said that one SPECIFIC stupid line which he knew he was being a fat hypocrite about because you know, after each time they separated after a few he be on his knees proposing begging for Francis’s sexy butt back.
“Well then Angleterre, don’t look at me if you can’t stand me that much!” Francis spat back at him, clearly not happy as well.
The two stood up from their seats at the same time, they walked to the exit of the room and gone out.
“Arthur I lowkey need to take a big piss where’s the bathroom.”
“It’s on the opposite way of the exit of the building, just head up straight and look to your right, the men’s restroom will be right there.”
“Thanks FAG.”
“Welcome FROG.”
As the two took their separate ways, the distance between them getting further and further, Francis suddenly shouted out :
“WAIT, ANGLETERRE!”
Arthur turned his head back, in awe of whatever the fuck was about to happen.
“I LOVE YOU... I DON’T WANT TO BE DIVORCED!”
Arthur suddenly felt the same way, what a fucking hypocrite.
“ME TOO FRANCE! I CHERISH YOU SO MUCH, I CAN’T HANDLE THE IDEA OF US BEING SEPERATED!”
He ran up to Francis and got down on his knee, his hands scrambled through his coat pocket.
The British man pulled out a small, black ring case, he opened it and there was a beautiful ring with pearls decorating it.
“Francis Bonnefoy, my day and my light, the fire to my soul, you may be French and love baguettes and think that your country will win the world cup but it won’t because I said so... will you remarry me for the 95th time and this time make it a permeant marriage?”
Arthur had tears in his eyes as he held out the ring while on his knee, the French man also had small tears of joy coming from his eyes.
“YES YES!! I ACCEPT!!”
He reached out it hand as Arthur slipped the ring on his hand.
The people in the halls who were waiting to divorce their spouse had witnessed all of this and were very confused but still clapped for them.
Arthur picked up Francis bridal style and gazed in his blue orbs, both of the newly married men smiling.
“Let’s get married on one of Malta’s beaches! Never in our 94 marriages have we ever even got married on a beach, let’s try something new shall we?”
“Arthur Kirkland, I love you but I’d rather never have sex for the rest of my life rather than set foot on that dirty fucking excuse of a country.”
“Still pressed about the navy shit?”
“Yes, shut up.” He responded back.
⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔
The next day Arthur and Francis were getting married again for the 95th time. A lot of nations and countries were invited, but barely of them actually showed up—only ones that bothered coming were Feliciano Vargas, Ludwig Beilschmidt (who was dragged there by Feliciano), Seychelles, Kiku Honda (who was also in fact dragged there by Feliciano), Romano Vargas (yes, even he was dragged there by Feliciano), Gilbert Beilschmidt (who only showed up for the food), THE Goat Triple T (Tung Tung Tung Shaur) and Hatsune Miku (she’s the priest).
The two young twins of the couple were also there, Alfred F. Jones and his twin brother Mattieu Williams. They both had a special role in the marriage, Alfred was the ring bearer and Mattieu was the flower boy.
Francis was of-fucking-course in the wedding dress and he had a fucking veil on him while Arthur was wearing a suit like the plain boring thing he is.
Miku was wearing the typical things priests wear when officialising marriages. If you’re curious, she doesn’t have the license to officialise any sort of marriage, but that’s ok.
When the marriage started Mattieu started walking down the aisle throwing the petals of white roses on the red carpet beneath. Arthur couldn’t see Mattieu because he was invisible in his eyes so he wondered how the hell that basket full of petals was being carried and how those petals were being thrown in the air.
After little Mattieu came Francis, he looked stunning to Arthur.
Blah blah blah Alfred Fat Jones gives in the rings blah blah blah 3 seconds later time skip I’m too lazy for this part why does it even matter anyways.
They held hands as they gazed into each other’s eyes, Miku started speaking :
“Arthur Kirkland, do you promise to beat your wife in sickness and health?”
“I do!” Arthur enthusiastically responded.
The crowd murmured in awe.
“Francis Bonnefoy, do you promise to love and cherish your husband even when he beats you?”
“I do!” Francis replied.
The crowd was STILL confused and flabbergasted.
“You may kiss the bride!” She continued.
The newly married couple kissed each other for a whole 9 seconds.
Triple T the GOAT started crying by how heart warming their marriage was, Feliciano was about to do the same somehow, Seychelles just smiled while Romano, Gilbert, Kiku and Ludwig didn’t get a hold of what the hell happened.
⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔
On February 34th, two days after the marriage, Arthur Kirkland was sitting on the couch in the living room sipping on some tea while reading the news paper.
He was reading the desserts section of the paper until his husband came up to him,
“Love, Arthur I’m going to need you to help our little blessing with his homework, I’m occupied doing the dishes and it seems your the only one available.”
Francis was referring to their son Mattieu. Arthur had NO idea Mattieu existed.
“Alright but isn’t Alfred out with his friend? I had no idea he came back home this early.”
Arthur responded. As known Arthur thinks that they have only one son, Alfred.
“What do you mean Alfred? I’m talking about the other one??”
“Who’s the ‘other one’? Don’t we only have one son?”
Francis gasped in shock,
“SACRE BLEAU!” “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY CHILDREN YOU HAVE, WHAT A SHAME OF A PARENT!”
“W-WHEN DID WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN I ONLY REMEMBER ALFRED!”
Arthur slammed his news paper and tea down on the coffee table as he stood up.
“I HIGHLY DOUBT YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA OF WHAT HIS NAME IS!” Francis shouted in response, “HE WAS THE FLOWER BOY AT OUR WEDDING! HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER HIM?!”
The British man was stunned and couldn’t speak, he was trying his best to remember even the name and face of the child but he couldn’t.
Francis was HORRIBLY mad.
“I WANT ANOTHER DIVORCE AND THAT’S FINAL! WE’RE NEVER GETTING MARRIED AGAIN!”
Arthur was stunned even more this time,
“I AGREE, YOU SAY I’M CRAZY BUT YOU ARE IMAGENING WE HAVE SOME OTHER SON! OUR ONLY CHILD IS ALFRED! I DON’T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO SOME MAD MAN!”
Francis felt a tug on his pants, it was little Mattieu.
“Papa, can we go to Mc Donalds..?”
“No Mc Donalds is for fat tiny children like your brother Alfred, we’ll go to Burger King instead.” (Goodbye France, hello Paris type shit🥀🥀)
“Yay!”
He skipped away joyfully.
“THAT ONE IS MATTIEU!”
“Oh. Whoops...”
“I’M STILL DIVORCING YOU!” Francis spat at him.
“I’M ALSO GOING TO DIVORCE YOU!” Arthur spat back at Francis.
⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔
It was February 35th, the two were back at the office so they could divorce each other for the 95th time.
“What an imbicel! Not remembering the existence of his own flipping child!” Francis murmured under his breath while signing the paper.
Arthur decided to ignore him for once and signed the paper right after him.
When they finished signing, Arthur said that STUPID sentence again :
“This time we’re officially done! I don’t want to see your frog face anytime soon!”
Yadada Yadadada they left the room and Francis had to take a huge fucking piss again.
“Wait Francis!”
Arthur yelled for Francis as he was walking away, Francis stopped walking and looked at the man behind him.
“Please return back to me! I know it’s hasn’t even been 25 seconds since we divorced but the pain of leaving you is crushing me up! Please be my beloved husband again!”
Francis was about to burst into tears of joy, he ran up to him and hugged him tightly.
“I love you Angleterre!” “Don’t ever leave me again!”
“I promise my love!”
They kissed and then they fucked and Francis got pregnant with Sealand, the end I hope you didn’t enjoy this.