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“I’m gonna go grab another beer. Erin, you want anything?” Patty’s words brought Erin back to the present. She had been lost in her own thoughts for a few minutes, nursing an already empty bottle, so she nodded and asked Patty to bring her another.
The four of them had gone to have a drink in a bar near the firehouse, something that had become some sort of tradition ever since they moved there. They went there to celebrate busts gone right and forget about busts gone wrong, and so far Erin had had a great time every night they spent there, although sometimes the morning after was far less enjoyable.
That night, though, something was messing up her mood and it was obvious to the other two sitting with her, Patty and Holtz, who shared knowing looks between them while Erin was too busy staring at Abby and the woman next to her to notice.
Abby had gone to get them another round of beers, but while she waited to order a woman had started talking to her and she had apparently forgotten all about the beers, her friends that waited back at the table, and that the four of them were supposed to be celebrating. Together.
Not that Erin cared. Abby could spend the whole night talking with that random girl if she wanted to. Talking, laughing, touching each other casually as if they were trying to be subtle about their flirting, which they definitely weren’t. The whole place probably had noticed it, or they would have if they were paying at least half the attention Erin was.
“Good thing looks can’t kill.” Patty muttered as she sat down again, leaving the new three beers on the table. Holtz snickered, and Erin didn’t even hear her. She was too focused observing Abby and her new friend. Her tall, pretty, apparently really funny new friend. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. It wasn’t her business who Abby flirted with. And it was all Erin’s fault that it wasn’t her business. Abby had made it clear to her she was interested ever since they saved the city, and she had pretended not to see all the hints because it was too risky, too scary.
And now she had to live with the consequences.
“Sweetie, you might want to slow down.” Patty said to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, after Erin chugged down almost all of her drink in less than five minutes.
“Maybe you should go over there and get rid of that blondie. Instead of staying here drinking and looking all pathetic.” Holtz suggested, ignoring Patty’s glare at her lack of tact.
“Abby seems to enjoy her company.” Erin said with bitterness.
“You’re just going to let her seduce your girl and do nothing about it?” Holtz was clearly trying to get a reaction out of Erin, and she was being kind of successful if her goal was to piss her off.
“She’s not my girl, Holtzmann. ”
“She could be if you weren’t such a chickenshit, Gilbert.”
“Holtzy!”
“I’m just telling it like it is, Patty my dear.”
Patty sighed. “She is kind of right, though, Erin. Why don’t you do something about it? It’s obvious you’re not okay with that.” She vaguely pointed at the two women laughing together.
“It’s not that easy.” Erin was starting to feel ambushed.
“Erin, I love you, but you’re an idiot sometimes. Abby would come running if you told her how you really feel. You two could have something good.” She poked at Erin’s chest to make her look at her instead of avoiding her gaze. “And you’re letting that go to waste because you’re scared. You hunt ghosts for a living. This can’t be scarier than that.”
After her impromptu, heartfelt, speech, Holtz looked kind of embarrassed and she faked a cough to cover it up. “At least that’s how I see it.” She mumbled, grabbing her beer to take long drink.
“That was good, Holtzy. A little brass, but good.” Patty complimented her patting her back.
It had been alright, but Erin couldn’t completely agree with her. The possibility of messing things up with Abby and losing her again was far scarier than chasing any ghost, no matter how malevolent. And she feared that was exactly what would happen if she tried to take their relationship to the next level.
Still Holtz did have a point. She was letting her own fears stand in the way of what could easily be the best relationship she could ever have. Maybe it was the speech, or the alcohol, or a combination of the tow that gave Erin the spark she needed to overcome it, at least momentarily.
“I’ll go talk to Abby.” She said, standing up with a newfound confidence she didn’t know where it was coming from. She could hear Holtz’s cheering and Patty’s attempts to make her be quieter as she walked over to the bar.
“Excuse me, do you think I could borrow my friend Abby for a second? Thank you.” She said with a polite smile, but without giving the other woman a chance to answer before taking Abby’s arm and leading her out of the bar.
“What the hell, Erin?” Abby asked her as the cold air in the streets hit them. Erin realized she hadn’t grabbed her jacket, but it was too late to back down. It was now or never.
“I didn’t like you talking to her.” Were the first words that came out of her mouth, without thinking.
“What?”
“I was jealous. I got so jealous and I was moping and Patty and Holtz said I should talk to you so that’s what I’m doing now.” Erin couldn’t stop the blabbering, and she hadn’t drunk that much, so she guessed it was caused by the nerves that were already twisting her stomach.
“What are you trying to say, Erin? You can’t just come and-“
“I know, I know jealousy isn’t good. And you can go back to her if you want to I just have to tell you something.” Erin took a deep breath, but the words didn’t come to her. She felt like there was a knot on her throat, and Abby was looking at her expectantly and maybe even a little scared.
So Erin did the only thing she could think of and pulled her closer gently to press her lips against hers, kissing her softly as she brought one hand up to rest on her cheek.
For a few seconds, Abby didn’t react and Erin could have sworn her heart stopped. Then, her lips started moving against hers and Erin relaxed again as she kissed her slowly, afraid she would somehow break the spell if she rushed it.
When the kiss ended Erin’s hand’s gripped the lapels of Abby’s jacket, as if to make sure she wouldn’t step away out of reach. “Please, don’t leave.” She whispered, leaning her forehead on the other woman’s, and the irony wasn’t lost on her as she was the one to beg Abby to stay this time.
“I’m not leaving.” Abby whispered too, offering Erin a tender smile that soothed her fears. “Never, and especially not now.”
Erin found herself wrapped in a warm, tight hug and she squeezed back just as hard. She didn’t know how much time they spent like that, but when Abby felt her tremble from the cold she pulled away just enough to look at her.
“Let’s go back inside.” She said, taking Erin’s hand in hers. “You’re freezing.”
Erin just nodded, still not quite believing she had done that, and she couldn’t keep her eyes off their joined hands as they walked back to their table where Patty and Holtz waited for them with knowing smirks.
It would be far from easy, and they had a lot to talk about, Erin knew that. But if it meant she could kiss Abby again, she guessed she could forget about her worries at least until tomorrow.