Chapter Text
Shane woke up early and went on his morning run just like he did everyday. It was a normal day, just like any other, and Shane took in his surroundings as he made his way through his usual route. He made it a few blocks away from home when he felt some slight discomfort in his abdomen. It’s fine. Probably nothing. He pushed through and kept up his pace, ignoring the twisting and turning in his gut. He made it a few more blocks before he stopped, his muscles more tired than they usually would be. Come on, you got this. Just push through it. He started moving again, ignoring his body’s protests. He only made it a couple yards before stopping this time, groaning in frustration as he turned around to walk back home.
He heard Ilya in the kitchen as he took his shoes off by the front door.
Anya ran over to him, yipping cheerfully as he knelt down to scratch behind her ears. “Hey girl,” he said, smiling fondly.
His husband called for him after hearing the commotion.
“Shane?”
“Yep,” Shane called back as he stood and made his way to the kitchen, Anya at his heels.
Ilya stood at the stove, shirtless, frying eggs for their breakfast. Shane walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and nuzzled his shoulder. “Good morning,” Ilya said, bringing one hand to Shane’s arms.
Shane just responded with a “hmph”.
“You're back earlier than usual.”
Shane just shrugged. Ilya turned slightly, kissing the side of Shane’s head. “Are you okay, moy lyubimyy?”
“I'm fine,” Shane said, face still buried in Ilya’s shoulder.
“Hm,” Ilya planted another kiss to Shane’s temple. “Go sit down, breakfast will be ready soon.”
Shane reluctantly let go of his husband and went to sit at the kitchen counter instead of the dining room table so he could still be in the same room as Ilya.
“Tea? Coffee?”
“Tea please.”
Ilya nodded and made the tea, sliding the mug to Shane. After a few minutes he was plating their breakfast; eggs and whole grain bagels, everything for him and a plain one for Shane. He slid the plate to Shane, then moved to sit beside him, plate and coffee mug in hand. He sat down to eat when he noticed Shane staring at his food as if it would bite him instead of the other way around.
“Okay?”
No reply.
Ilya placed a hand on the back of Shane’s neck. “Shane?” he asked gently.
Shane blinked. “Huh? Sorry, I’m fine. I just…” He stood up. “I think I’m going to go take a shower. I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m feeling up for breakfast today.”
“Are you sure you are okay?” Ilya said, concern clear in his voice.
“Mhm.” Shane kissed his cheek and squeezed his arm before leaving to go take a shower.
Shane turned the shower on, hotter than he usually would since he felt a little cold, and started to undress as he waited for the water to warm up. He felt a wave of nausea slam into him as he pulled his shirt off, causing him to lean over the sink, holding onto the counter with a white-knuckle grip. He swallowed hard as he felt saliva pool in his mouth as it usually does when he is about to throw up. He was so focused on not being sick that he didn’t hear Ilya’s footsteps.
“Shane.” He startled slightly.
“Shit. You scared me.”
“You do not look so good”
“I’m fine, I think it was something I ate.”
“Mhm. Sure.”
“I’m fine, Ilya. Go back downstairs and eat your breakfast so we can get ready to go to practice.”
Ilya sighed and walked out of the bathroom, and Shane stepped into the shower, relishing the warmth. After a minute Ilya came back, plate in hand, and he put the toilet lid down so he could sit in top of it.
Shane poked is head out of the shower. “Did you come in here just to watch me shower?”
“Oh, is it a crime now to watch my sexy husband shower?” Ilya teased.
Shane rolled his eyes and looked down at Ilya’s plate, noting that his own breakfast had been added. Shane cringed slightly at the thought of food in the bathroom, but he considered the places they had their mouths on each other and figured that it really didn't matter.
“Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?” Ilya asked.
“Yeah. I‘ll probably feel like eating after practice.”
“Practice is optional today,” Ilya said nonchalantly as possible.
“And?”
“And maybe you should…opt out.”
”What?! Why?” Shane asked, poking his head out of the shower door.
“I think you should rest if you are not feeling well. Coach would understand.”
“I’m not skipping practice.”
“Okay,” Ilya said, still concerned.
“We have a game tomorrow, Ilya.” Shane said, a hint of frustration in his voice.
“Okay, okay.” Ilya put the hand that wasn’t holding the plate up in surrender.
They sat there in silence as Shane finished his shower and Ilya ate his bagels and eggs.
Ilya handed Shane is towel as he stepped out of the shower and watched as he dried himself off, movements just a little slower than usual. After a couple minutes he was dressed and ready to go.
Shane stood in front of Ilya, who was just flat out staring at him now. “Well?”
“Hm?”
“Are you gonna get ready or am I going to practice by myself today?”
“Da, let me put a shirt on and I will be good to go.” Ilya stood up and placed his hand on the side of Shane’s face, kissing his forehead. Shane closed his eyes and leaned into the touch for a few seconds before pulling away slightly.
“We should go.”
“Yes. Would not want to be there 45 minutes early instead of an hour.” Ilya patted the side of Shane’s face teasingly, earning him a small huff and another eye roll.
He went into their closet and threw on a hoodie. When he came back out to the bathroom Shane was holding his plate, waiting for him. Ilya smiled at him softly and took the plate from him then took one of Shane’s hands in his other hand, leading him downstairs. Shane followed him to the kitchen as he grabbed the dishes and placed them in the sink to do when they got back.
They drove to practice in silence, Ilya’s hand on Shane’s thigh as Shane lightly gripped his forearm. They were, of course, the first ones at practice, for which Ilya was grateful for once because it meant Shane could take as long as he needed to get ready without being observed.
After putting on their gear, the both went to go warm up in the ice, Ilya constantly talking about something so Shane wouldn’t have to. About 15 minutes later the team started filtering onto the ice. Ilya gave Shane a quick squeeze of his arm and peck on his cheek before skating to the rest of the team with the hopes of distracting them so that Shane could have some space.
As they warmed up he asked them if they were ready for the game tomorrow night, to which he got responses along the lines of Hell yeah! and Of course we are Cap! He then asked them individually about their wives, partners, and kids, and everyone responded with jokes and funny stories until eventually Coach Wieb and the assistant coaches showed up and practice began.
Shane was grateful for Ilya's efforts to keep the team's attention away from him. Even though it usually took some effort to keep up with the energy buzzing through the team, most of the time he didn't mind it. The Centaurs had always been very welcoming to him, and even though they lightly teased him for some of his quirks, they always did their best to make sure that he felt comfortable. He could tell that they genuinely cared about him, not just as a teammate or their captain's husband, but as a person. Which was a whole heck of a lot more than he could have said about the Voyagers.
That being said, he was struggling today. He has had days before where he didn't feel like socializing. Days when he felt like he would burst if one more person approached him. The Centaurs had always sensed that and given him space when he needed it without judging or making fun of him. They simply just let him be. But this was different. Today he wasn't in one of those moods. He was just tired. Tired, and he had been feeling this pain building in his lower belly and pelvis since he and Ilya entered the locker room that morning.
Ilya must have sensed that something was wrong, because of course he did, and he took it upon himself to distract the rest of the team. For anyone else, it would have looked like a regular practice. Ilya showing off and teasing, being the lovable asshole that the whole team respected while Shane, the quiet hockey prodigy focused on practice. But Shane knew better. He knew his husband, and he was grateful for the quiet support. He wished he could show him just how grateful he was, but it was hard for him to think about anything except for the cramping sensation in his lower abdomen.
The stretching helped a little bit, but he wasn't able to do much. It took all of his effort to take deep breaths in and out and keep a straight face instead of grimacing. Finally, after what seemed like hours, everyone was present and counted for and they could start practice.
Shane didn't really know how practice went. He moved through it as if he was in a daze. He wasn't aware of anyone speaking to him the entire practice. He just ran through the moves he had committed to memory and did his best to adjust to his teammates around him. He pushed through the pain even though his body was screaming at him to stop and take a break.
Soon enough their hour long practice was over, and it was time for Coach Wieb to give a short rundown of the practice to let them know where they were at. Shane didn't think he heard a word that was being said. He wasn't even aware if Ilya had spoken to the team. He just followed slowly behind everyone after they were dismissed. Instead of going with them straight to the locker room, however, he stopped at the team bench and sat down, taking his helmet off. He felt the sweat dripping from his hairline down his face and neck and cringed.
He folded over himself, resting his head on knees as he squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his thighs. He sat like that for a few minutes, continuously trying to breathe in and out until the wave of pain and nausea subsided enough for him to move. He slowly made his way back to the locker room where the rest of his teammates were laughing and getting changed.
As soon as he walked in he locked eyes on Ilya and moved towards him as if on instinct. His husband was already fully changed and putting his shoes on and looked up at him. Shane watched as the smile on his face instantly changed to worry as he got up and wrapped his arms around him. Even though he was getting better about it, Shane was usually against PDA. But not today. Today he just melted into his husband's arms, desperate for the comfort he knew they would always provide.
Ilya had watched as Shane went through the motions during practice, running drills and making passes based on instinct alone. Instinct that was built on years and years of learning how to push through discomfort and fatigue both from injuries and exhaustion from running drills over and over again until you faint. Shane’s movements were technically perfect, but Ilya knew he wasn’t performing with the usual speed and accuracy that his husband was known for. He saw as Shane would wince occasionally and shake his head to refocus. Ilya distracted the team with a little extra showing off and chirping than usual, drawing the attention towards him and away from Shane.
At the end of practice he was glad that Coach kept his speech short, and he hustled to the locker room to get changed so that he could get Shane home as quickly as possible. Shane took longer than usual to get to the locker room, Ilya was pretty much fully dressed by the time he trudged his way to their stalls. Ilya smiled up at him from where he was seated on the bench, but his smile dropped as he saw Shane’s clenched jaw and teary eyes.
He stood immediately, pulling Shane to him. Shane didn’t hug him back, his arms limp at his sides, but he buried his face into Ilya’s shoulder as he did his best to just breathe. Ilya kept one arm wrapped tightly around Shane’s shoulders while he ran his other hand through his long black hair that was damp with sweat.
Bood must have noticed that something was wrong because he waved slightly to get Ilya’s attention and mouthed Is he okay?
Not feeling good, Ilya mouthed back, pointing at Shane.
Ah, Bood nodded then turned and quietly got the team’s attention, asking if they wanted to go somewhere for team lunch, slowly reducing the volume of the speakers before walking back to his stall. Excited by the thought of food, the team quickly got showered, changed, and filed out of the locker room as they tried to figure out where to eat. Bood was the last one to leave the locker room, glancing back at Ilya and Shane for one last time.
Thank you.
Bood just smiled kindly and waved at him before walking out, closing the door quietly behind him.
“Shanya,” Ilya said, now that they were alone. “Let’s get you dressed so we can go home. We can shower there, yes?”
Shane nodded and slowly pulled his face away from his husband’s shoulder that he had claimed as sanctuary. His eyes were still teary and he looked so tired. Ilya helped him sit on the bench before he moved to rummage through his bag. After finding what he was looking for, he grabbed his water bottle and then knelt before Shane, offering him two Midol pills. Shane looked at them and pursed his lips.
“Take them, sweetheart. There is nothing you are going to accomplish by being in pain. You are not weak for needing them. For needing me.”
The tears in Shane’s eyes escaped and made their way down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath before nodding and taking the pills from Ilya’s hand. He took the water bottle that Ilya offered him and swallowed the pills.
“Good boy,” Ilya said, gently patting Shane’s thigh before standing up. Shane smiled at him weakly as Ilya wiped the tears from his husband's face. Shane took a few more drinks from the bottle before Ilya gently tugged on the hem of his jersey. “Can I?”
Shane nodded, so Ilya helped him get out of his practice gear and into his street clothes. Once he was changed, Ilya grabbed both of their bags and threw them over his shoulder, ignoring Shane’s attempt to grab his own. Instead he wrapped his free arm around his husband and led him out of the arena.
Shane didn't register most of the car ride. He was exhausted and uncomfortable, and he wanted nothing more than to cuddle with his husband and their dog and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. He had zoned out and didn't even realize they had made it home until Ilya opened his door. He took the hand that Ilya offered him and let him lead him from the garage to the door that connected to their mud room. Anya must have been asleep because she didn't rush to greet them. After taking their shoes off, Ilya deposited their duffle bags there so he could do the laundry later and then took Shane to their en suite bathroom.
He turned the water on and helped Shane undress. Once he was done, he cupped Shane's cheek with his hand and placed a kiss to his forehead, the side of each eye, and his nose before placing a quick kiss to his lips. "Take as long as you need, okay?"
Shane sniffed and nodded before moving in for a quick hug, giving Ilya a tight squeeze. Ilya squeezed him right back before letting him go and nudging in the direction of the shower. "I will be right back, okay? Just going to take care of a few things."
Shane nodded again, stepping under the spray of the water, closing his eyes as he basked in the warmth. Ilya went into their closet and picked out Shane's favorite house clothes; one of Ilya's old hoodies and a pair of super soft grey sweatpants. He placed them as well as a fluffy towel in the clothes warmer he had gotten Shane for Christmas. He then made his way downstairs to quickly do the dishes from their breakfast. When he was done, he went to their laundry room and placed their dirty clothes in the washing machine, knowing the thought of them just sitting there would bother Shane.
After tidying up, Ilya found the microwaveable heating pouch that he had gotten for Shane a couple years ago. He looked at the kitten pattern as he put it in the microwave. "Kotenok for my kotenok," he had said as he gave it to Shane who had a mix of exasperation and pure love written across his face. Ilya smiled fondly at the memory as he turned to go check on Shane.
When he reached the bathroom, he saw that Shane was pretty much in the same position that he was when Ilya had left. He just took off his own clothes and put them in the hamper before joining Shane in the shower. Shane didn't react as Ilya pulled him into a hug and hooked his chin over his shoulder. He just closed his eyes and let Ilya love him. Ilya pulled away slowly and started to clean Shane off.
First he gently shampooed and conditioned his hair, then moved on to the rest of his body, softly scrubbing away the sweat and weariness of the morning. When he was through, he guided Shane under the spray of the shower, quickly cleaning himself off as Shane enjoyed the hot water. He stepped behind Shane and pulled him close with his arms around his waist, letting the water wash them both clean. After a couple minutes he brushed a thumb over Shane's ribs.
"Are you ready to get out, or do you want to stay a little longer?" he asked quietly.
"I'm ready," Shane said softly.
Ilya kissed the spot just under his ear and stepped to get out of the shower. He quickly dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist before going to the clothes warmer to get Shane's towel. He shut the water off and wrapped the newly warmed towel around Shane's body then helped him out of the shower. After gently drying him off, he put down the toilet lid and sat Shane down on it so that he could do his skincare routine for him. He didn't do all of the steps, but he did the simplified version that he saw Shane do whenever he was tired. The sooner he could get him out of the bathroom the better. When he was done, Ilya grabbed the warm clothes and helped Shane into them.
Ilya went into their closet to grab clothes for himself and Shane followed, waiting patiently as Ilya threw on an old tshirt and pair of sweatpants. When he was done, he took both of Shane's hands in his. "Do you want to go to bed and take nap or go to couch and watch movie?"
Shane though about if for few seconds before coming to a decision. "Couch."
"Okay, solnyshko." Ilya kissed the knuckles on both of his hands before dropping one so they could walk to the living room together hand in hand.
Ilya led Shane to the couch and gently pushed him down to the cushions. "Do you think you can eat something?" Shane thought about it for a few seconds before nodding his head. "Okay. I will be right back." He kissed the top of Shane's head and went to the kitchen.
He turned the microwave on and pulled out a bowl as well as the stuff to make Shane a bowl of yogurt and granola. He spooned the yogurt into the bowl, added freshly chopped strawberries, then the homemade granola, and topped everything off with a small drizzle of honey. He took the heating pouch out of the microwave, picked up the bowl, and after a second thought, grabbed a snickers bar from Shane's not-so-secret secret stash before making his way back to his husband.
He handed the heating pouch to Shane who placed it on his abdomen, tension ever so slowly leaving his body as the warmth seeped into him. He silently took the bowl from Ilya, eyeing the snickers bar in his hand. Ilya placed it on the end table next to the couch. "I brought it just in case. It will be here if you want it later."
Shane shook his head as a small smile creeped onto his face. "Thank you." He didn't need to add the for everything. Ilya understood what he meant.
Ilya picked up the remote then sat next to him, scooping Shane's legs up so that they were bent over his own. He gave the remote to Shane. "Pick something."
Shane took the remote as Ilya wrapped one arm around his legs and the other around his back, holding him tightly and providing just enough pressure to be grounding. Anya thought that was the perfect moment to make her presence known as she trotted over to them and jumped into Shane's lap.
Shane let out a small oof. "Anya," he groaned.
"That was not very nice, Anya. You are supposed to be a sweet girl for your dads," Ilya chastised without any real heat. Anya snuggled into Shane, resting her head on his chest and letting out a contented huff.
Shane scratched lightly behind her ears. "I swear she’s like a cat sometimes. She’s like a magnet to any warm spot."
Ilya chuckled and joined in giving Anya scritches. "Are you warm enough, lyubimyy?"
Shane looked to him with tired eyes and smiled. "I am now."
They sat there in silence watching The Great British Bake Off, Shane eating his granola with Anya snoring softly on his chest as Ilya traced soothing circles on his thigh and shoulder. When Shane was done eating Ilya took he bowl from him and placed it to the side before pulling him in closer. Shane snuggled in, placing his head on Ilya's shoulder and just breathed. Even though the day started off kind of crappy, Shane couldn't think of a better way to spend his afternoon than being held by his husband and cuddling with their dog.