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quiet nights of quiet stars

Summary:

Midsummer heatwaves make you not think straight. It’s fine — they don’t last too long anyway.

(Or, how it feels to be a teenager in the height of summer. And also in love)

Notes:

i am a machine that turns 12am bedtime into 4am bedtime. this was written and published in one sitting. i feel crazy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was just supposed to be another drawn-out summer afternoon, with the two of them lounging around like cats, splayed across Yu’s spare futon. Their summer homework was strewn somewhere between the door and the table, which was now practically functionless with a generous littering of topsicle wrappers and snack bars. Yosuke had one leg propped up on the edge of the low table, the bottom hem of his shirt riding halfway up his torso in an attempt to cool off. He licked the salty sheen of sweat from his upper lip and turned to face Yu, who was already looking at him, seemingly dazed by the humid air.

“I can’t do it anymore, Partner. Let’s sit by the backyard and pray for a breeze or something,” Yosuke groaned, pushing himself upright.

Yu mumbled, gibberish falling off his tongue as his eyes flit between Yosuke and the ceiling. He shut his eyes. His brain felt like it was being steamed in a rice cooker. 

“Come on,” he heard Yosuke say. “It’s not like we can get anything done in this heat anyway, let’s go.”

A firm hand found his own and he was pulled to his feet — a surprising show of strength from the stringier of the two.

“Any more topsicles?” Yosuke asked as Yu tailed him down the stairs. The two hadn’t known each other for long, but Yosuke was over so often that he had already started leading him around his own house like it was his own. Yu found that he didn’t mind. He watched the damp strands of hair at the nape of Yosuke’s neck as he followed him closely. 

“Nah,” Yu uttered his first coherent word since his heat-induced daze. “I’m saving the last two for my Uncle and Nanako. We already had like, six between us.”

“R-right,” Yosuke nodded quickly, guiltily. Yu had mentioned that Dojima would be working late, and that Nanako would be home after a play date and dinner at her friend’s house, but Yosuke had been so blissful when they bought the box of topsicles from Junes earlier that day, that it had completely slipped his mind.

“But, we have ice cubes in the freezer. Top shelf.”

“Sick!” Yosuke bounded down the last three steps and landed on his feet with a thump. This seemed to reenergise him. 

A tray of ice cubes clattered into a jug, which Yosuke filled to the brim with tap water as Yu found two mismatched glasses for them. After setting them down, Yu pulled open the sliding door to the backyard with a flourish, half-expecting a whoosh of a breeze to hit them when — nothing.

“Ughhhh,” Yosuke groaned, sliding down into a lazy sprawl just like before, though he propped himself upright on his elbows to gulp down half a glass of ice water. He sighed, “That’s better.”

Yu hummed as he walked over to sit on the engawa, swinging both of his legs over the edge as he took a swig of his drink. Yosuke joined him, plopping down beside him as they stared directly into the unrelenting orange sky. It was getting closer to sunset now, maybe just under an hour out, but there was little hope for them — a hot and humid day would simply turn into a hot and humid night, but they could at least fool themselves into thinking it would be cooler at dusk.

“So,” Yu began lazily, casually, between the crunch of ice cubes in his mouth. He had thought about whether to bring the topic up again, but it had been gnawing relentlessly at his insides for weeks. “Do you like anyone?”

The question was so out of the blue that Yosuke didn’t even register it properly before he absentmindedly answered, “Hm, kinda.”

Alert grey eyes met his, and Yosuke realised his mistake.

“What? Who? Tell me!” his Partner urged him. 

“W-w-wait! No fair! You totally caught me off guard there, I-I don’t have anyone I like! I only said ‘kinda’ because, well… ahhh, I guess it would be nice, right?”

Way to go, Yosuke, Yosuke thought to himself. You big fucking klutz.

Yu pressed on. “What’re they… I mean, what’s she like?”

The slip was not left unnoticed by Yosuke, who straightened up, wondering if Yu meant what he implied, or if all city boys were just open-minded by default. Wait, wasn’t he supposed to be a city boy too? It seemed that the small town had rubbed off on him more than he’d like to think. “She’s um, nonexistent. Because I don’t like anyone, haha!” 

“Hm, okay,” Yu accepted, odd in the way he immediately backed down.

Privately, Yu thought to himself that perhaps the best way to get to Yosuke was not to pry, but to talk about himself. 

“There’s someone I like,” Yu stated resolutely. The words strung up in the air with no wind to carry them away. Yosuke gawked. 

“What!?” he squeaked, almost toppling forward into the grass. “All those times I asked before, you deflected, and now you tell me there’s someone!?” 

“There’s someone I like now. I didn’t know it before, but they’ve been growing on me,” the silver-haired boy said it like it was the truth, because it was.

“Um,” Yosuke stumbled over his tongue, flustered, “what are, what— what’s she like?”

She’s cool,” Yu played along, letting the words roll off his tongue unnaturally. He was kidding himself — he’d never liked a girl in his life, “and pretty.”

“Huh, I thought you’d be more into the cute ones, like Rise-chan, but cool and pretty? — I mean it’s kinda basic, sorry, but I see it for you,” Yosuke laughed. “You gonna tell me who it is?”

Yu shook his head, a smile teetering on his lips as he took another sip of his water, then pressed the glass to the side of his face, letting the condensation roll down his cheek and into the collar of his t-shirt. He thought that he might just humour Yosuke with a guessing game.

“Is she from school?” Yosuke asked.

“Not telling.”

“What? You won’t even tell me that?” Yosuke huffed, exasperated. He was definitely going to get more invested into this guessing game than he should be. “That narrows it down to like, no one. You’ve been here three months — every girl you know is from school! Wait, or is it that Marie girl? The fashionable one?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh, I’m gonna start guessing names, okay?”

“Suit yourself,” Yu grinned, enjoying the way Yosuke squirmed to think of every single female classmate he knew. 

“Chie,” Yosuke began — and boy was he really going from the beginning.

“No.”

“Yukiko.”

“No.”

“Risette?” he tried.

“It’s not Rise,” Yu shook his head.

“Umm… that girl from the band club? The short one with the bob?”

“Not Ayane.”

“Who else do I know that you also know…” Yosuke muttered to himself, then gasped, “It’s not Kashiwagi, is it?”

“God, no,” the thought made Yu set down his glass with a repulsed face. He’d rather not ever think of Kashiwagi like that. “I’m actually kind of offended that you ran out of names after four people then asked me if I had a crush on our homeroom teacher.”

“Hey! I really don’t have much to work off, okay?”

“Do you really want to know?” Yu feigned defeat, a lopsided smile playing on his face.

“Yes! Just tell me, Partner, I swear I’ll keep it a secret if you don’t—”

“It’s Ai,” Yu supplied nonchalantly.

Ebihara-san? Isn’t she like, kind of rude and stuck-up? I mean she’s pretty, but ‘cool’? I-I mean, alright, Partner, whatever toots your horn, as they say. Like, I mean, maybe she’s the kinda girl that toots your—God, that was awful imagery, sorry. I’ll shut up now.”

Yu abruptly broke into laughter, and Yosuke froze, but when Yu kept laughing, his shoulders slackened and he cracked up too, then suddenly, it was just the setting sun and the sound of the two of them laughing their heads off across all of Inaba. 

“I’m sorry,” Yu said when they were finally done, “You should’ve seen your face when you said that.” He snickered, “I was joking, by the way. Ai and I, we’re just friends. Yes, she is kinda rude, but she’s actually an interesting person to be around. She did ask me to be her boyfriend once, but I said no.”

“Woah, look at you, Partner! Turning hot girls down,” Yosuke puffed out a breath, “I’m kinda jealous, in a way.”

Yu rolled his eyes. “A minute ago you called her a bitch.”

“Hey! I didn’t say that! Plus, you can be rude and pretty, I’ll give credit where it’s due. Man, you got me all hyped up for the reveal and then you pulled a fake on me. Whatever, dude. Do you even really like anyone?”

“Why don’t I flip that question back to you?” Yu turned the conversation back to Yosuke, who yelped when was suddenly framed by Yu’s arms on either side of where he was seated. Yu leaned in with a piercing stare. “Who do you like, Yosuke-kun?”

Yosuke involuntarily gulped as Yu seemed to be inching closer at a painfully slow pace.

“Man, you’re not gonna get off my back about this, are you?” he said lowly, a quiver in his voice as he resolved to hold his ground and not back away from his Partner. This seemed to satisfy Yu, whose eyes softened.

“Do you think of her often?” Yu asked quietly, searching Yosuke’s brown eyes that curved downward with a puppy-like quality.

“Hmm,” Yosuke hummed, and he was only able to think of one person. “Sometimes.”

“What do you think about?”

“I think about… taking her on dates, and eating ice creams together, and holding hands,” Yosuke gulped, choosing his next words carefully when Yu seemed only inches from his face, “and kissing too.”

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?”

The question came like lightning, but it didn’t catch Yosuke off guard, because he’d been looking for it.

“No, I haven’t. Have you?”

Yu’s heart felt like it was thundering in his chest. The emboldened daze he had been in for the past few minutes seemed to be ebbing away as he noticed how close they were. It would only take one of them to lean in…

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” he admitted. Yu was practically on top of the other boy now, Yosuke having turned to face him, half-flattened on his back. 

After a long pause, Yosuke croaked, “W-want to try?”

It seemed that this was what Yu had been waiting for all along — three months of quiet pining and subtle hints; hangouts that grew more and more like dates as they toyed with the boundary between friendship and something else; hands that moved from around the shoulders to the smalls of each other’s backs; fingers that teased soft hair during breaks between study sessions: two boys inches away from their first kiss.

“Yeah, why not? It’ll be good practice,” Yu whispered, his breath against Yosuke’s lips a split-second relief from the stagnant air. His words almost broke the spell. Practice, he had said. But desire was stronger than reason, and before either of them knew what was happening, their lips met in the middle, and they were kissing.

Yosuke pulled Yu in by the collar, causing the slightly taller boy to almost collapse on him. They rolled over the threshold, back into the living room, and found themselves lying side by side, attached by the lips. It was sloppy, and terrible, and everything a first kiss should be. Yu murmured a quiet ‘ow’ as Yosuke’s teeth scraped haphazardly across his bottom lip.

“S’rry,” Yosuke mumbled into his Partner’s mouth. The vibration from his vocal chords made the hairs on the back of Yu’s neck stand on end. He needed more. 

Yu found Yosuke’s waist quickly, exposed to the summer air. His warm fingers sneaked their way around him, to hold him closer. Yosuke’s arms caught Yu from behind the neck, shoving them together unceremoniously. It kind of hurt, and Yu had to stop to breathe. 

They broke apart with an obscene smack and Yosuke’s eyes widened, only now registering that he had been practically sucking his Partner’s face off for the past whirlwind of a few minutes. His arms around Yu’s neck went slack as panic settled in. As he watched Yu catch his breath, he drew away and jolted upright. He stared at the powered off television set in front of them. 

Fuck. Fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m not — I mean, maybe I am, just with Partner, but it wasn’t supposed to ever happen! Or at least, not like this!

“Yosuke, I can practically hear your thoughts right now,” Yu’s words rattled his insides around even more for good measure. 

“W-what?”

‘But I’m not gay, I like girls!’ that’s what you’re thinking, aren’t you?”

“Um,” Yosuke’s voice cracked, “You said it was practice, wasn’t it?”

Yu furrowed his brows. Oh right, he did. He was always too good at committing to the bit, or maybe, some part of him, deep down, still struggled with the truth — that he desperately wanted to be with his best friend, and was worried that the feeling wouldn’t be reciprocated. After all, hadn’t Yosuke just been talking about the girl he liked? Or was that really… just about him?

“Ah, so I did,” Yu frowned. He drew back as well. He didn’t want to think it, but maybe Yosuke was straight, and that he was just being… flexible with a friend — for practice.

He made a motion to stand, which earned a frantic response.

“W-wait, Partner!” Yosuke cried out, gripping onto Yu’s arm with two hands, pulling him back down. “Sit back down. I mean, i-if you want. I’m not gonna like, force you or anything. I…have something to tell you.”

Yu’s heart began to beat out of his chest for the second time that evening. Either Yosuke was going to profess his undying love to him right now, or he was going to ask him to forget what has just happened.

Slowly, although not reluctantly, Yu sat down cross-legged to face his Partner. To his surprise, Yosuke took his hands and cradled them in his hot and clammy palms — oddly, it was the most intimate thing they had done all evening.

“Remember… how I used to like Saki-senpai.”

Well this wasn’t the conversation that Yu was expecting at all. He felt terrible, like every other time the girl was brought up in conversation. But there was nothing any of them could’ve done…

“I now realise that I don’t think I liked her in that way,” Yosuke admitted, which caught Yu completely by surprise. Yosuke had always seemed to be flustered around the older girl.

Yu shifted slightly, moving one of his hands to the outside of Yosuke’s so he could hold his hand too. Yosuke continued.

“I guess I always wanted someone to like me, not in any particular way, but to like me for me — for Yosuke. Not ‘the manager’s son’ or the ‘boy from the city’. She liked me just the way that I was, and talked to me because she wanted to. I was so happy and surprised, that I think I confused that for a crush. Come to think of it, I never really wanted to kiss her or anything, or do these things with her like—” Yosuke blushed as he looked down at their hands “—h-hold her hand, or anything.”

A comfortable silence fell upon them as Yu began to caress the back of Yosuke’s hand with a thumb. The brunette shuddered and heaved a sigh. He was still looking down at the floor. 

“I… like you.”

Yosuke was not sure if it had come out of his own mouth, or Yu’s, but when he looked up to the expression on Yu’s face, he knew that he himself had been the one to say it. Yu’s eyes, usually alert and metallic grey, were warm, and creased with an upturned brow with a slight pout of his lip. He was so cute that Yosuke might’ve flipped out and gone insane right there and then, but he had just initiated a moment, one which he needed to do justice.

“I like you so much, Partner. You make me feel like we’re the only two people in the world.”

There was a pause, a brief lapse in the conversation where it would be Yu’s turn to speak, but he was too stunned to say anything; too overwhelmed by the glorious truth that Yosuke liked him, and by his own racing mind and hands that began to shake. Yosuke clasped their hands together more firmly, but his face told that he was a little crestfallen. 

“You don’t have to say anything yet, or anything at all, Partner,” he said gently. “I’m… sorry I sprang this upon you.”

Yu began to shake his head, slowly at first, then vigorously. This alarmed Yosuke, who began to stammer. 

“Hey, you alright? Partner? Yu?”

“Yosuke, you have no idea how much you drive me fucking insane, like, I’ve had this huge crush on you since I moved here—”

“Since you moved here!?”

“—and I’m just, shocked, you know? Like, it’s crazy, finding out that the one you like likes you back. You mean so much to me, do you know that? You’re so special to me, and now I wish I had told you sooner, because you… you deserve everything. Please let me give you that.”

Yosuke had moved in closer at some point, because as soon as Yu finished rambling, Yosuke brought him into a crushing hug.

“Partner,” Yosuke managed shakily between a big sniff and a hacking cough. How could he not cry? “Partner…”

It was all he could say for the next few minutes as they embraced. It was an awkward position, once again, with Yosuke halfway into Yu’s lap, and one of Yu’s arms braced against the tatami flooring. They were still just inches away from rolling out of the house, over the engawa, and into the backyard again. 

Some time had passed now. Miraculously, the slightest hint of a breeze broke the still air and the sudden change made Yosuke shiver into Yu’s arms. He drew away, eyes, nose, and ears red with all the conceivable emotions of the moment — joy, embarrassment, relief, and embarrassment again.

“Fuck, you couldn’t even shed a pity tear for me? I can’t be the only guy crying his eyes out over here.”

They burst out laughing again. It was easy and light. The sun dipped beneath the horizon as their hearts leapt in tandem. They found their way back together. They tangled until they couldn’t tell each other apart: whose hands, whose tongue — it didn’t matter. There would be no one around to see them but the infinite stars seen only from the countryside.

The day departed, and so an impossibly humid evening arrived. It was another reminder of the constants within the impermanence of it all — a week of rain, a month of fog, a year in the middle of nowhere. But for now, it was Yu and Yosuke and an endless midsummer.

Notes:

i always like to end on a slightly ominous note. sorry, that’s just the way i am. thank you for reading and may souyo bless your every season wherever you are or whenever you’re reading this. stay tuned for more seasons of souyo!

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