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A familiar anger crept into Echo’s chest as he watched Fox enter the War Room.
It had been a few weeks since Fox was rescued from the Empire, after Fox’s cover had been blown as a spy for the Rebellion and he was nearly killed by Darth Vader himself.
A few weeks since Echo’s twin’s killer had come to the base.
The same killer, who had been part of Cody’s batch.
Who had taken in Rex and his twin.
Who had known how much Cody and Rex cared for Fives.
Who had shot Fives when he was so close to saving them all.
Fox.
Rex had explained to Echo long before Fox came on base how Palpatine had been using the Guards’ chips throughout the War. He used them very strategically, only in small squads assigned to covert ops that no one else knew about, and used them sparingly. Enough to get what he needed done, and make the Guard feel like they were going crazy, but not enough to arouse suspicion outside the Guard.
That is, until after Fives was killed.
Within a day of his death the whole Guard was under the influence of the chips. All contact from within the Guard stopped, and the GAR was left wondering what happened.
Rex had told him the information had come from a source within the Guard, just never revealed the source was Fox.
Echo had assumed Rex didn’t tell him to protect the identity of the spy, but when the transmissions stopped one day and a few days later a rescue was launched and brought back Fox, Echo realised the real reason.
Rex never outright told Echo what he suspected (and later confirmed through Fox, himself), but Echo quickly figured it out himself.
The Guard had stopped communication to the GAR outside the official channels the day after Fives was killed.
But Rex had mentioned when he originally told Echo the story of what really happened to Fives that the Guard assigned to capture him had been acting odd. Detached.
Fives had known about the chips, and Palpatine could not risk anyone else knowing.
If Fives told anyone in the Guard, it might make them question their orders. Even a commander. So Palpatine had activated the chips of all the clones assigned to hunt down Fives.
Fox had been assigned to hunt down Fives.
Fox had his chip activated when he killed Fives.
Fives had been killed by a brother who had no control over what he was doing, which was exactly what Fives was trying to prevent.
The sheer irony of it all made Echo’s head spin with rage.
Fox had been spending most of his time in the Medbay due to his injuries, but whenever he ventured out, usually accompanied by a medic or Rex, Echo gave him a wide berth.
Rex hadn’t spoken to him about it yet, but Echo knew it was coming, and knew he deserved it. He also recognised that Fox didn’t deserve how Echo was treating him, considering he had no control over what he did.
The worst part was that Echo knew for a fact that Fives wouldn’t have held it against Fox, especially for as long as Echo was. Fives would’ve forgiven him immediately, no strings attached, and would’ve treated him with kindness after what Fox had been through.
And Echo? Well Echo was using him as an emotional punching bag. The complete opposite of what Fives would’ve done.
That fact made the justified anger unjustly directed at Fox intensify, with Echo’s anger at himself swirling together with it.
Every time Echo was near Fox, that anger came back and suffocated him, much like it was doing in that very moment in the War Room.
Echo stood, desperately trying to pay attention to the briefing and look anywhere other than Fox, but he could feel the anger expanding in his chest and snaking up his throat.
Rex, through no fault of his own, made the mistake of opening the room to questions.
Before he could stop himself, Echo blurted, “What is he doing here?”
The silence stretched for an intensely uncomfortable amount of time.
Rex didn’t even bother playing dumb, “Echo-” he started placatingly, but Fox interrupted him.
“I’m finally healed enough to be able to stand in on meetings and leave the Medbay alone after I almost died feeding info to help your Rebellion. What are you doing here?” Fox challenged hotly.
“Fox-” Rex said in a low warning and moved to step between them but Echo moved towards Fox faster, heart pounding, “I’m here to protect my brothers. Can you say the same?”
“Echo!”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it’s supposed to mean.” Echo was shaking, angry tears burning behind his eyes.
“No. I want you to say it.” Fox stepped off the wall, voice rising.
“Fox!”
“You killed a brother! My brother! My twin.” Echo yelled.
He saw a shudder run through Fox, with a crack of regret show on his face, and a sick satisfaction rose in Echo’s chest. ‘So you do care’ a cruel part of him noted.
“You think everyone’s going to forgive and forget just because you risked your life to give us info?” Echo continued, jabbing his finger into the middle of Fox’s chestplate. ‘When did we get so close?’ some part of his brain wondered, but the wrath that consumed him pushed it down, “‘Cause that’s not how it works.”
Fox chuckled darkly, “Oh, you’d know about that wouldn’t you?”
Echo barely registered the sound of someone, probably Gregor, muttering “Oh, osik” as he felt the red-hot fury turn cold, and his fist clenched at his side, “Excuse me?”
“You think you’re any different than me? You’re lying to yourself. You think just ‘cause you joined a new squad everyone would forget how many brothers you’ve gotten killed? ‘Cause it’s sure as hell a lot more than-”
Just as Echo raised his fists to do Force knows what, Rex shoved them both apart.
“ENOUGH! STAND DOWN.” Rex’s order echoed around the silent room, “You are both out of line. Go back to your rooms and cool down. I’ll deal with you two acting like kriffing cadets when I’m done here. You’re dismissed.”
Echo took a breath to argue when Rex whirled on him, “That’s an order, trooper. And don’t even think about picking a fight with each other before I’m done here.” He growled.
Echo cast one more icy look at Fox before they both turned and exited through opposite doors.
As Echo entered his room, all the anger left his body in one breath, leaving behind an endless emptiness.
His breaths came in short bursts as the guilt and shame of what he pulled in the War Room and the grief he’d been hiding came full force to fill the emptiness.
He collapsed onto his hand and knees as sobs shook his frame.
Echo wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but long enough that he had cried himself out and the shame turned back into a dull anger at himself.
His head pounded as he stood, dragged his feet to his fresher, and mulled over his thoughts.
Echo recognised, very, very deep down that Fox was right.
He was being hypocritical.
How many brothers had he gotten killed when his mind was being used by the Techno Union? When he compared that to the one brother (Fives. Fives. It was Fives-) Fox had killed, he had no moral ground to stand on.
Echo had no right to say what he did, but neither did Fox. They had both aimed to hurt, and instead embarrassed themselves.
The shame and anger at himself swirled inside Echo again.
A knock on the door startled Echo out of his thoughts. Assuming it to be Rex there to tell him off, he opened it without thinking.
Instead, he opened it to Fox.
For a blinding moment, Echo couldn’t believe the sheer audacity Fox had to show up at Echo’s room after what he said and after Rex told them specifically not to do that.
He felt his fist connect with Fox’s face before his brain even registered that he wanted to do that, then regret immediately replaced the anger.
Fox stumbled back, clutching his left cheek, “Ugh, yeah, I know. I deserve that.”
Echo just stared back at him, confused at what to say or even feel as his anger dissolved as quickly as it came.
Fox sighed, “Rex obviously doesn’t know I’m here.”
Echo looked him up and down, “Well I guess you can punch me and we’ll call it even, then.”
“What? No. That’s not why I’m here.”
Echo raised an eyebrow, “Then why are you here?”
Fox sighed and slumped, “You deserve to know what happened. And I should have to be the one to do it.”
Echo immediately clocked that he wasn’t telling the full truth. That may have been what Fox came to do, but that wasn’t why he was there.
Echo leaned on his door frame, deciding to play along, “I already know.”
“How? Rex?”
“…partially. Even when he finally told me the whole story and how it happened, I knew he was holding something back. I may not have known Rex as long as you have, but I’ve known him a long time. The way he explained how the chips worked and slipped in that the Guard had been under their influence for Force knows how long, I figured it out.”
“Ah… okay.”
They stared at each other again.
“…So why are you actually here?”
Fox gave a humourless chuckle, “Rex and Cody weren’t exaggerating, you are that good.”
Echo just stared at him expectantly.
Fox sighed, “I want to know where we stand. If you hate me, and I wouldn’t blame you, I’ll make sure I stay out of your way on base. Rex seems to think you’ll be okay with this eventually and I just kept thinking that if I had to be around someone who did what I did, I just-” his voice breaks. He swallows thickly and takes a shaky breath in, “I couldn’t do it. I can’t imagine what that would be like as a twin, no less. So I guess I just… wanted you to know that I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible.”
Echo stared at Fox. Not the former Marshal Commander of the Coruscant Guard. Just Fox.
Fox, who made sure Rex and his twin, Keeli, made it off Kamino safely.
Fox, who had reported directly to Palpatine, who turned out to be a Sith Lord.
Fox, who fought a losing battle and did whatever it took to protect his men, despite all the senators and civilians who seemed determined to hurt them.
Fox, who clearly drew his strength from the same blazing love for his brothers that Fives once had.
Fox, who still had visible injuries from when Darth Vader nearly killed him after finding out he had been feeding information to the Rebellion to help free his brothers.
Fox, who had killed Fives. Even if he had no control of his mind. He still pulled the trigger.
Fox, whose love for his brothers was obviously burning him from the inside out with guilt.
Echo took a long, shaky breath in, then out, “Y’know… Fives was always the nice one. The one who saw the best in everyone. He was the hopeful twin, the more open one, the first one to make the shinies comfortable.”
He forced himself to look Fox in the eye. He could see a fair share of regret, self-loathing, shame, and an odd look of resolve.
“Fives was the forgiving one. Even though we were twins, I always looked up to him. He would have denied it, but he was the best of all of us. He was definitely my better half. I’m here, in the Rebellion, to honour him, because I know it’s what he would’ve done.”
His heart seemed to squeeze itself into a knot. All the admiration and love for his brother, his twin with nowhere to go. He tried to use it to push down the rage in his stomach, to use it to guide his words and actions like Fives would, but he wasn’t Fives, and didn’t have Fives to help him through it anymore.
Echo let out a choked sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “Truthfully, had you been speaking to him right now, he would have already forgiven you. He wouldn’t have thought there was anything to forgive, but he would’ve given his forgiveness anyways. I think… had things gone a bit differently, you would’ve gotten along too well. The galaxy never would’ve known peace.”
Fox didn’t laugh, he just stared at Echo, waiting.
Echo turned his gaze to look anywhere but at Fox. He settled on looking over his shoulder, “I’m not Fives. I’m the angry one. The twin who started fights on Kamino.”
He risked a glance at Fox, to see a growing resignation join the shame in his gaze. Fox took his pause as a finality and nodded, “Message received. I won’t bother you again.”
He turned to leave and Echo grabbed his bicep, only to let go right away as Fox flinched.
Echo sighed, and glanced to the side again, “I’m not done.” Fox nodded and turned to fully face his body towards Echo again. “I don’t… hate you. Despite what you may think because of the way I’ve been acting.”
Fox looked genuinely taken aback at that, and Echo cursed inward at his own immaturity, “I don’t hate you,” he repeated, “it’s just that… every time I see you, I remember how close Fives was to preventing all of this osik, and I get angry again. Angry that I wasn’t there, that no one believed him, that this was even done to us in the first place. And that, well, Palpatine used you the way he did without giving you a choice. It hits a little too close to home.”
A look of realisation dawned on Fox’s face.
Echo swallowed the lump in his throat and shoved the panic down that arose at the mention of that place, “I guess in some way I’m mad that the Guard never told anyone what was happening. Even though the blame is not on you. If the GAR had tried a little harder to find out or understand what was happening on Coruscant, or if the Guard was a bit more open, this could have been prevented. But I know looking back like that doesn’t help anyone, so I tried to avoid it… avoid you altogether instead.”
Echo shifted on his feet, suddenly uncomfortable, “Every time I see you, I’m reminded of that anger on behalf of our brothers, of Fives, and of you. It’s not fair to shift that anger onto you, but you’re a walking reminder that my twin isn’t here anymore. I don’t… blame you per se, so you don’t need my forgiveness, I just need to let go of my anger at you, that you don’t deserve. But to do that, I need to let go of my anger at everything else, which has never been my strong suit.”
When he finally looked back at Fox after a long stretch of silence, he saw the self-loathing be replaced by a firm understanding.
After a long pause of them staring at each other, Fox finally spoke, “Did Rex or Cody ever talk about Ponds? About what happened to him?”
Echo frowned, confused, “Not much after… what happened. I heard about it on the official channels.” He hesitated, not sure how sore of a spot he was hitting, “They talked about him a bit before, though. He was your oldest batchmate.”
Fox nodded, then crossed his arms, as if to protect himself from the subject, “Ponds was killed as a hostage, as a way to show General Windu that his kidnappers were serious. His death was collateral damage to get to Windu. Once I saw the footage, it took Thorn, Stone and Thire to stop me from marching up to the Jedi Temple and giving him a peace of my mind, consequences be damned. Logically, I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I didn’t care,” he turned his intense gaze back on Echo, “because my brother was gone.”
The knot in Echo’s chest seemed to tighten, then unravel. His eyes suddenly burned with unshed tears and he quickly looked away, blinking them back and clearing his throat.
Fox seemed similarly affected, “I wasn’t allowed on any missions with Jedi for a while after that, until the others were sure that I had let go of my anger enough to be trusted around them.”
Echo sighed again, more evenly than before, “I am trying to let it go, because you truly don’t deserve it, despite what you may think. And while it may be uncomfortable for a while, the only thing that’ll help me let it go is spending more time around each other.”
Fox nodded, “If that’s what you think is best.”
Echo gave him a sad, understanding smile, with a touch of cunningness, “I do. While I’m trying to do that, you can try to let go of some of that misplaced guilt.”
Fox gave him a small, long-suffering smile, with a hint of doubt, “Did you learn that one from Rex?”
“Probably. Him, and Cody.”
There was a brief pause where they just stared at each other. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t awkward, just filled with mutual understanding.
Without thinking, Echo blurted, “Did you get what you came for?”
Fox looked a bit caught off guard, but smoothed his face into something pensive, and a different kind of guilty, “Partially.” He sighed and shook his head, “Between us, what I got was healthier than what I came here for.”
Echo nodded in understanding, and internally winced at the red mark that would surely be a bruise tomorrow on Fox’s right cheek. He supposed Fox did partially get what he came for at first.
When Fox had shown up at the door, all the anger Echo felt at everything else combined with the misplaced anger at Fox, and it swirled inside him until he opened the door to a convenient, albeit unhealthy and undeserving, outlet for that anger.
Although he still knew it was wrong, Echo couldn’t bring himself to be sorry for punching Fox, especially now that he knew Fox was just looking for someone other than Fox, himself, to punish him and give him what he thought he deserved.
It wasn’t fair for Fox to use Echo’s obvious grief to punish himself, just like it wasn’t right for Echo to punish Fox for his own grief.
He remembered the weeks after being rescued, where the Bad Batch were being welcoming in a way Echo was sure he didn’t deserve. He had latched on to Crosshair and Tech, who were the only two who acted even a little suspicious of him after everything he did.
Wrecker seemed like he wanted Echo to be his new best friend, and Hunter felt responsible for making Echo feel at home with them. Both of which worsened the guilt and the feeling of being undeserving of their kindness.
His dodging of their kindness only made Crosshair more pissed off, and Echo fed off of it until Cross realised what he was doing and rightfully called him out for it in front of the squad.
Echo sighed and gestured between him and Fox, “Maybe we’re a bit more similar than I previously thought.”
At Fox’s lightly amused but confused look, he explained, “When I first joined the Bad Batch, I did something similar. I avoided the ones who were kind to me, which pissed off Crosshair more, which made me latch onto him more. He eventually figured out what I was doing, and I’ll tell you what he told me.”
Fox nodded, and Echo gave him a wry grin, “‘Don’t be a karking idiot you idiot’.”
That made Fox let out a startled bark of laughter, “Good advice.”
Echo shrugged, “Yeah, it was enough to get my head out of my ass.”
Another, much more comfortable silence settled between them.
Echo sighed and stepped out from his door, “Come on, you should get your face checked.”
Fox watched Echo, stunned, as he walked past him towards the Medbay, “What?”
Echo raised an eyebrow at him, “Remember, when you got what you came for?”
Fox shook himself out of his shock and followed Echo, “I won’t tell them you punched me if you don’t tell them I went looking for it.”
“Deal.”
They started walking and suddenly Fox spoke, “My Corries.”
Echo glanced at him, confused, “What?”
“You asked what I was doing here. That’s why. My Coruscant Guards. Some of them are here, some are still there, some aren’t around anymore. But I’m doing it for all of them. We spent so long just trying to survive, and now I have the chance to fight back. I’d be dishonouring them if I were to not take it. So I honour them by staying.”
“Ah.”
Echo spun that thought around his head as they kept walking. Honouring their brothers.
The only person they passed in the hall on the way to the Medbay was Gregor, who took one look at them, threw his hands up, and walked down a different hall, cackling, “Y’know what? Sure, why not.”
When they entered the Medbay, the only medic in the empty room, Fix, narrowed his eyes at them, “Hellooo…” he greeted suspiciously.
Echo smiled the brightest smile he could muster, “Fox hit his face and needs it checked out.” Fox just nodded in agreement, an equally creepy smile on his face.
Fix gazed between the two of them, “Right. And how exactly did that happen?”
“I fell.” Fox stated.
“You fell?”
“Yes.”
“Okay… so why is Echo here?”
Echo shrugged, “I heard a bang outside my room and saw him on the floor, so I couldn’t just leave him there.”
“...Right. And why was Fox outside your room?”
“Going for a walk I think?” Echo turned to Fox, who nodded, “Yep, just a regular, everyday, normal walk.”
Fix kept looking between the two of them, “Sure. Whatever.” He directed Fox to sit on one of the beds and told Echo to either leave or sit quietly. He chose the latter.
A ping made Echo look down at his comm.
[Secure line opened]
[This line is end-to-end encrypted]
[Oh Captain My Captain]: Where are you.
[ECHO. Echo. echo.]: Don’t be mad. Or disappointed.
[Oh Captain My Captain]: Too late. Tell me where you are. Now.
[ECHO. Echo. echo.]: Medbay
[Oh Captain My Captain]: For kriffs’ sake Echo I told you to go cool down in your room.
[ECHO. Echo. echo.]: I did
[ECHO. Echo. echo.]: …then Fox got hurt so I brought him back to the Medbay
[Oh Captain My Captain]: On my way.
[Oh Captain My Captain]: We need to have a chat.
[ECHO. Echo. echo.]: Yessir
[End of chat log]
Echo winced at Rex’s obvious and very reasonable anger.
“What?” Fox’s question made Echo raise his head. Fix had put some mild bacta cream on Fox’s face to reduce the swelling and quickly left. Probably to avoid Rex’s explosion. Echo always thought that kid was smart.
Echo sighed regretfully, “Rex is on his way.”
Fox winced, “Oh goody.”
“Can’t you like… use ori’vod privileges and just… tell him not to yell at us?”
Fox let out a small chuckle, “Yeah, I don’t think me being older is going to save either of us.”
“You’d be right.” Rex stated coolly as he walked in the room.
Both Fox and Echo glanced at each other nervously.
“Someone want to start explaining what just kriffing happened?” Rex suggested, but the tone made it less of a suggestion and more of an order.
Echo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, Fox was going for a walk-”
“Echo.” Rex’s voice made it clear he was not in the mood for jokes, “You know what I meant. Where did that come from? You’re in a Force-damned War Room picking fights like you’re a cadet again. You’re an ARC, but you may as well be Second in Command of this Rebellion and my right hand, so act like it.”
Echo felt like climbing into a deep hole and staying there forever with every word. “Yes sir. I’m sorry sir.”
“And you, Fox!” Rex whirled to face the man, “What the hell was that? I’ve watched you stare down senators and Mandos with a straight face, but you’re faced with one grieving trooper who’s hurting and you can’t keep it together?”
Fox hunched in on himself, obviously embarrassed, “I know, Rex. I’m sorry. It was unacceptable behaviour and it won’t happen again.”
“It better not. And that goes for both of you.” Rex turned his angry gaze back to Echo.
He nodded, “It won’t happen, sir. I’ll make sure of it.”
“You better.”
The tension melted off of Rex’s body and he sighed, “So what happened?” He asked again, softer.
Echo shifted uncomfortably, “I let my grief and anger at what happened and what is still happening control my actions and I lashed out at Fox undeservedly. We spoke about it and we realised lashing out at each other wasn’t healthy for either of us, and that the only thing that would actually help us stop associating each other with what happened would be time, and working together. So that’s what we’re doing.”
He exchanged a look with Fox, who nodded in agreement. They both looked back at Rex nervously.
He sighed, “Fine. But I think you both owe each other an apology.”
Echo glanced at Fox, “Uhhh… what? We… did… already?”
“I didn’t hear the words ‘I’m’ or ‘sorry’ directed towards each other in any of those explanations.”
Fox laughed nervously, “Well, I guess not like that but we did it in our own w-”
“Nahhh. Ah. Ah.” Rex held up a finger, “I don’t want to hear it. I want to hear an apology. A good one.”
Echo stared at him, confused, “Rex, we’re not four. You don’t need to-”
“Nah. Ah. You act like cadets, you get treated like cadets. Let’s hear it.”
“Rex, you really don’t have to-”
“That doesn’t sound like an apology, Fox.”
Fox just stared at him incredulously before sighing, “Echo, I’m sorry for implying what you were forced to do while you were captured was your fault. It was not and I shouldn’t have stooped that low when I knew you were lashing out because you were hurting.” He stated in a flat tone, then turned to Rex, “That good enough?”
Rex nodded, then turned to Echo, “Echo?”
It was Echo’s turn to stare incredulously at Rex and Fox. He sighed, resigned, “Fox, I’m sorry for lashing out at you for something that you had no control over. It wasn’t fair to you.”
Rex leaned forward, “Aaaand?”
“...and… I’m sorry for implying you putting your life in danger to feed us information was meaningless. It was very valuable and appreciated.”
Fox grinned and copied Rex, “Aaaand?”
“...and I’m sorry for punching you. Even though you came looking to be punched. I’m also sorry for telling Rex that, but you broke the deal first by making me tell him I punched you. So I’m not really sorry about either of those parts.”
“Hey, wait a minute.”
Rex sighed, “Oh Force.”
Fox crossed his arms, "I should've taken the chance when you offered to let me punch you back."
"WHAT?"
Echo let out a tired laugh. It wasn’t all okay yet, but it would get easier.
--------------------------
Exhausted from the previous day’s events, Echo was slow to get up, but he made it to the Mess Hall in time to catch Rex, Fox, Gregor, Howzer, and Fireball getting first meal.
Echo took a steadying breath, and made his way over before he could change his mind. Despite the easy conversation and jokes they had exchanged yesterday, the feeling of anxiety was back in full force.
The only open spot was at the end, next to Fox. Echo immediately felt nauseous, but pushed it down and set his tray next to Fox’s, maybe a bit harder than necessary.
He startled, looking up to meet Echo’s nervous gaze with his own. Echo awkwardly sat on the bench and looked straight ahead at Howzer, who looked an interesting combination of concerned and amused.
Echo stared at everyone as they stared back at him, “What? You’re eating right? So am I. So let’s stop staring and start eating.” And pointedly started eating his food.
Fox tried to hide a laugh behind his hand but failed miserably, as Fireball stared at the two of them, incredulously, “You’ve gotta be kiddi- ow!” He glared at Rex who gave him a pointed look after obviously kicking him under the table, “Do as the man says and eat.”
Fireball rolled his eyes, “Okay, sure, whatever.”
Echo shot Rex a grateful look and received a nod back.
Yeah, they would be okay.