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It has become a routine at this point.
When Yushi goes through a minor inconvenience, before even talking about it, he comes knocking on Sion’s door with box dyes in his hands and a ‘Hyung, can you help me?’ on his lips instead, and Sion will drop everything he’s doing to help him. Only when the stench of chemicals in the air is replaced by the scent of Yushi’s shampoo will he open up about what’s bothering him as he fusses over his newly dyed hair.
In the most self-conscious but least narcissistic way possible, Sion thinks this is his fault.
During their formative years, Sion is the only older figure Yushi looks up to other than his parents. Yushi always wants to do everything Sion does, listen to everything Sion likes, and go everywhere Sion goes.
At fourteen, when Sion discovers the amazing world of hair dye, Yushi begs and begs and begs his parents for permission to dye his too, only to be met with a stern ‘No, you can do it when you’re older.’ Yushi sulks and spends all afternoon carding his little fingers through Sion’s colored hair, mumbling about how unfair it is that Sion gets to be two years older than him. It’s adorable how much Yushi wants to do everything with him.
At eighteen, Yushi finally buys his first box of cheap convenience store hair dye. Sion remembers the way Yushi’s nose scrunches in disgust at the smell and the fear that flashes in his eyes at how intense the dye in his hands looks. In the end, the color only shows up on his hair under the sun. Even worse, they run out of dye before Sion can finish the back of his head, leaving it with uneven splotches of red and black.
Yushi seems to get discouraged and uninterested after that. He rarely mentions it, letting the color fade and cutting his hair regularly until Sion can barely see it anymore.
Until one night, a sad looking Yushi comes knocking on his door with two boxes of hair dye, asking his help to color his hair again. Sion helps him without question, silently thanking Yushi for buying enough dye to do his whole head evenly this time.
It’s a big thing, Sion thinks, trusting someone with the back of your head. Especially the same someone who lets you walk around with a bad dye job before.
It takes three times of a similar situation happening, each with the box dyes getting lighter and weirder in color, for Sion to notice the pattern. Sion’s just glad Yushi chooses a “healthier” coping mechanism, even at the expense of his hair. Sion doesn’t mind helping either, not when he gets to spend time with his bestest friend in the world and confidently call it a ‘Sion and Yushi thing’.
That’s why, when he’s hit with the smell of Yushi’s shampoo upon entering their apartment, he doesn’t think too much of it. He remembers Yushi telling him that he only has one last exam in the morning and nothing for the rest of the day. Sion doesn’t blame him if he wants to pamper himself in the shower for longer than usual.
“Ushi, I’m back,” Sion announces from the door. “I bought us lunch.”
“Just a minute, hyung!” Yushi’s muffled answer comes from inside his room.
Sion hears the whirring of Yushi’s hair dryer and busies himself with setting up their lunch as he waits. He remembers Yushi off-handedly mentioning he’s craving Pho the other night. Yushi’s going to love this, Sion muses, smiling to himself. Nothing like celebrating the end of another semester with delicious food and an adorable company. The sound of Yushi’s door opening pulls him out of his thoughts.
“Oh, food!” Yushi happily chirps. Sion smiles to himself again as he hears the soft tap, tap, tap of Yushi’s feet.
“I hope you’re still in the mood for Pho,” Sion replies, before finally looking back at Yushi. “How was your–”
Sion’s breath gets caught in his throat at the view that greets him. For a second, Sion wonders if he has somehow ended up in an alternate universe where they’re both dark-haired little kids again. Because Yushi is standing right there, a few feet in front of him, a perfect replica of the baby Sion used to spend every day with. It’s been close to two years since the last time Sion saw Yushi’s hair this dark.
“What?” Yushi prods. “Your face looks silly.”
“Your hair.” Sion blinks rapidly, feeling a little breathless. “You changed your hair.”
“Not like it’s my first time.” Yushi rolls his eyes. “Why are you so surprised?”
“It’s black,” Sion dumbly says.
“I got bored of the colors. For now, at least,” Yushi laughs. At Sion’s silence his confidence seems to slowly fade. He tucks his hair behind his ear, a habit he does whenever he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, ears reddening even more as it falls back over his face. He hasn’t had the time to cut his hair, Sion notes. “Is it–does it look bad?”
Sion thinks he knows Yushi the best in the world, but apparently there’s always something new to learn about him. Like how twenty-four-year-old Yushi with black hair looks identical to eight-year-old Yushi. Even though Yushi’s grown a lot taller and more confident in his body, he’s still the same baby in Sion’s eyes.
Not everyone can come to the same conclusion or has the privilege of experiencing both versions of Yushi the same way he does. Because, if there’s one thing he enjoys most in the world, it’s getting to know Yushi a bit more every day, one endearing piece of information at a time.
“You could be bald and still look good, Ushi-ya,” Sion jokes, in lieu of spilling his heart out and accidentally saying something too sentimental. He runs his hand through Yushi’s hair, appreciating the softness against his fingers. “I could’ve helped, you know?”
When the sun kisses his hair through the windows, Sion can still see patches of stubborn brown and red peeking through.
“I wanted to try doing it myself for once.” Yushi shrugs. Before Sion gets a chance to feel sad over the idea of losing their routine, Yushi adds, “I still need your help next time. It’s too much work for me.”
The laugh that Yushi still manages to pull out of Sion surprises him, but maybe it’s just in his nature to be endlessly charmed by the younger.
With all the changes in his life, his love for Yushi remains the only constant thing. Even when the color of his hair changes from dark brown to auburn to burgundy to a weird mix of all three and back to the black Sion spends the better part of his life loving, Yushi will always remain the only constant thing.
Maybe their thing isn’t just this simple routine. Maybe it’s this: Yushi telling him about what’s been on his mind, or Sion memorizing the difference between how Yushi’s hair looks under the sun and their living room light, or just simply existing together for the rest of their lives.