Chapter Text
Kyle Broflovski was his best friend.
Super best friend.
He was the fire to Stan’s ice. Kyle felt everything, loved deeply, and fought any battles kicking and screaming. You never had to question his motives.
Stan wasn’t like that. Emotions made him uncomfortable. So he waved things off, shot the breeze, or got drunk off his ass at 2 A.M before working the next day. Because let’s face it. Stan Marsh could be a selfish asshole.
Then he died. Only weeks before was Kyle warning him about a dangerous predator in the midst.
Wendy told him it wasn’t his fault. “Stan, all your arguments were rational. Kyle was on a suicide mission.”
“But I never let Kyle go alone. Ever. Even if he’s wrong.” he whispered. Their son was playing in the living room. The sound of “vroom vroom” was in his ear.
He doesn’t know how long they argued about it. At one point Wendy throws away his alcohol and tell him to grow the fuck up because it doesn’t matter anymore.
“I’m sorry your best friend died, Stan. But we have a child to think about.” said Wendy. She’s angry. Her brown eyes look at him, half full of sympathy and the rest filled with resentment. “You are acting just like your dad. Do you want to be like him?”
Stan knows she’s right. That doesn’t stop him. “Why don’t you fucking divorce me then?” he said coolly. He defiantly takes a drink of his vodka.
They nearly divorce. Henry doesn’t understand. He’s all smiles when he’s back with Stan and confused when Wendy takes him with her.
He uses their separation to do what Kyle couldn’t. Take Craig Tucker down. Preferably with a shotgun.
Clyde is pissing him off. He’s refusing to see the contradictions. It’s as if Craig put a spell over him overnight.
“He knew this guy for a year, Kenny. A goddamn motherfucking year. Why is his words more convincing then ours?” he yelled in frustration.
Kenny winced. “Stan, Clyde has always been nicer than us. He just wanted a friend.” he said softly.
Watching Craig play Clyde at the funeral makes him sick. He toys with his feelings in a way that Stan has never seen before. Clyde’s innocent smile at Craig’s attempt at connecting nearly makes him go to jail for assault.
Kenny grabs his hand. He motioned to Tolkien. Tolkien seems to be unfailingly neutral. He’s not super nice to Craig like before. But Stan noticed his focus on Clyde and Kyle.
“Make sure to take care of Tweek, Craig. It’s what Kyle would have wanted.” said Tolkien. His eyes are measured. Like he’s judging.
Stan calms.
Craig offers for them to carpool to the reception. Stan stares at him down. He wants Craig to notice. Any break in the man’s facade gives Stan the credibility he needs.
Clyde takes the bait. Tolkien makes some excuses about some college obligations. They all watch as Clyde goes in the car and leaves with Tweek and Craig.
“Do you believe us now, Tolken?” asks Kenny.
Tolken’s shoulder slumps. “It’s not that I don’t believe you guys. But I known Clyde longer than you two. He doesn’t see people the way we do.” he explains patiently.
Stan crossed his arms. “So stop babying him. Give tough love. That’s what Clyde needs from us.” he said sharply.
Kenny goes between the two of them. “Guys. Don’t make a scene. Remember where we are and who's looking.” he warned.
They sigh. Tolkien goes to his vehicle and waves. His smile is resigned. Kenny waves back with sadness. He turns to Stan.
“Let’s talk to the sheriff,” he said confidently.
Stan makes a scene at the police station. He refuses to leave until they talk to him. The procedure to get to the investigation is annoyingly long.
“Is this all you assholes do all day is sit down and file paperwork? Let me guess, your breakfast is donuts and Budweiser.” he snarks.
Kenny gives him an apologetic smile. “Sirs, please don’t pay attention to Stan right now. He’s a little….under the weather.”
The youngest looking police officer looks at Kenny in disbelief. His badge reads Matthew. “Tell him to take it outside or he’ll be taken for public intoxication.”
They are never let in for questioning. Tolkien tells them that they are ruining any chance of credibility by the force. He looks at them in annoyance.
“This isn’t NCIS. They’re not going to move faster because our friend died. They need evidence, and right now you’re giving them reasons not to listen,” he emphasized.
They wait. And wait. Clyde has decided to ignore them. Kenny tries to portray this as a good thing.
“He’s not with us. But I haven’t seen him around Craig either, have you?” said Kenny smiling in victory.
A tear slipped down Stan’s face. “Craig could be playing the long game, Ken. What if he expected Clyde to keep his distance for a while?”
Kenny’s face falls. “So we keep trying,” he insisted. Tolkien gave him a look that Stan knows is his way of saying that he’s a fucking idiot.
Investigations are underway. The town is talking about it everywhere. Very few people trust their neighbors anymore. They stop talking as soon as Stan enters the room.
He eventually finds out that due to his unpredictable behavior over the past couple months and the fact Kyle was the last person to see him, allegedly, that Stan is the number one suspect.
It gets worse. People who knew Stan since they were babies start putting his old actions in a disturbing light.
“That boy was ten years old and started sprouting a bunch of nonsense to Kyle because he got closer to that Cartman boy. The first time we all saw him drink publicly. Just like Randy.” one person said hotly.
The other lady agrees. “He’s always been more attached to Kyle than what’s normal. What did they call themselves again? Super best friends?”
His heart breaks.
At a young age he struggled with depression. His family was getting harder to cope with. Randy was going through a new phase every other month. Sharon was trying to talk sense into him and make sure they have a normal childhood. Stan just felt like he was parenting Randy. His dad never seemed to understand the same things Stan did naturally. Sometimes it seemed like Sharon was raising two boys instead of one.
He felt like he didn’t have any allies. Shelly was angry all the time. Sometimes it was at Randy and Sharon. But most of the time it was directed at him. Stan didn’t know why she hated him so much. He only wanted to love her.
“Stop coming to my room, Stan. I don’t want you here.” said Shelly. Her fists were clenched. They are fourteen and sixteen respectively.
Stan tried to smile to appease her. “I got some music you might like. It’s that new band you like, sis.” he said cheerfully.
He doesn’t get a word in before he’s down on the ground and bleeding. Stan flees to his room.
They no longer speak.
What the townspeople didn’t understand was that Kyle stopped speaking to him very quickly. He viewed Stan as someone who was a drag to be around. At ten Stan viewed it as rejection.
Now Stan understands that Kyle was simply protecting himself.
Stan doesn’t remember why they began talking again. Kids are fickle. It could be anything from Kyle missing him to that Cartman and Kenny were driving him crazy and he needed a somewhat sane person to balance out their chaos.
When Kyle gets older his empathy knows no bounds. He no longer judges Stan for his flaws. Instead the redhead pushed him to be the best version of himself in the only way he knew how.
Usually it’s yelling at him. Stan laughs at that. Kyle behaved exactly like his mom. He doesn’t take it personally. Other times it’s Kyle coming to his room quietly and hugging him.
“Please don’t leave me, Stan, “ he would murmur. Kyle would go to his bed and cuddle him with no questions asked. Even if he’s staring at nothing.
The redhead is the only one Stan allowed to see him in that state. Besides Wendy, but fuck, why wouldn’t she? Despite what Cartman used to say Stan appreciates the female persuasion, thank you very much.
Kenny doesn’t let Stan punch, scream, or argue against the rumors. But he does defend him.
“Stan loved Kyle more than any of you would ever know. You don’t know how this is affecting him.”
“Do you know anything better to do than gossip? There are real people here that are affected.”
Public opinion changed after that. Some people still think he’s a piece of shit who needs to be locked up. But other people gain more nuance.
“I’m not saying that Marsh boy didn’t do it. But sometimes people grieve in ways that aren’t socially acceptable.” said the older man.
Clyde is viewed the best. Word somehow gets around that Stan thinks Craig is manipulating him and that Craig is losing his best friend because of it. They think he’s being treated badly.
“That Donavon boy is the only one not abandoning his friend. That’s a virtue. He’s not wishy-washy like the others.”
“That’s Craig’s best friend. He’s always offering me discounts at the bar. Clyde used to recommend his expertise for anything. Why would he stay friends with someone if he wasn’t just as nice as Clyde is?”
“Tucker is just as sweet as Clyde is. He just shows it a little differently. Look at how he treats that Tweek kid. So loving.”
Tolkien is kind of scary. He plays both sides of the fence. He’s always checking in on Tweek and Craig casually before studying for his exams. Then he subtly goes to the most influential in town and puts something in their heads. Stan thinks if he actively liked talking to people like Clyde he’d be a dangerous politician.
Then the cops start playing hard-ball. They make it known to everyone that they aren’t going to rest until Kyle’s killer is behind bars. Sheila makes a news story and begs for an explanation. Ike is glaring at everyone. Gerald looks lost.
“If you just explain why, why my baby boy, I’ll forgive you. Maybe not right away but I will.” says Shelia. She dabs her eyes.
Ike doesn’t let that statement lie. “You can’t hide forever,” he says darkly.
Stan is questioned first. He wants to laugh at how predictable they are. Do they not see what’s in front of them? Or is Stan just the easiest to blame?
The Sheriff looks at him. He looks unimpressed. His partner says nothing, an uneasy look on their face.
“So we understand that Kyle Broflovski was your best friend. Is that correct?” asks the younger cop. He keeps touching his neck.
Jesus Christ. Stan isn’t going to fight them.
Stan smiles coldly. “Since preschool. I’m sure you know that already. Since, you know, I lived here all my life.”
The Sheriff nods. “The last time Kyle was seen was after leaving your home. Witnesses say that he seems unwell. Muttering to himself. Distant. Would you know why that would happen after visiting you specifically?” he asks conversationally. He gave Stan a faint smile. “Seems odd for such a close friendship, wouldn’t you agree?”
Stan sighed. “Your witnesses don’t have all the facts. He was acting this way for months before I last spoke to him.”
Matthew looked pensive. “What was the change? There are no records of Kyle dealing with substances or mental health problems.”
Stan remembered it perfectly. He tells them that the Tweek’s died and Tweek suddenly starting fucking around with Craig. Despite barely talking to him. At the time he assumed it was Tweek needing some physical comfort or maybe he had a trauma response and sex was the only way he knew how to manage it.
“It’s weird, dude. One day Tweek acts like he doesn’t care if Craig is there and the next he’s shoving his tongue down his throat.” he said in exasperation.
“Did Kyle have an opinion about this?” asked Sheriff Joe. His eyes were looking at Stan intently.
“Of course he did. Kyle had opinions about everything. But especially with Tweek.” stated Stan.
Stan remembered Kyle dragging them to his parents house. Only Ike was there and he was looking at his brother with exasperation.
“What did Tweek do this time?” he asked his brother. Ike scowled. Stan got the impression he never liked any of the Tweek’s.
Kyle frowned. “Ike, don’t be mean. His parents just died.” he said softly.
They stand there. The brothers were clearly about to have a conversation regardless of who was watching.
“His parents just died. Tweek’s boyfriend dumped him. He’s drinking again. He’s popping pills and fucking random guys. He’s isolating himself.” mimicked Ike. He looked increasingly more pissed off. “Stop acting like you are his mother. He has to make his own mistakes.”
Tolkien and Stan give each other a nervous look. Kenny grabs a beer out of their fridge without asking. Clyde avoids looking in Ike’s and Kyle’s directions.
Ike is almost as opinionated as Kyle. The only difference is that he will absolutely prosecute if necessary. According to Ike that’s most of the time.
“You wouldn’t understand, Ike. You don’t give a shit about what your friends do. They could be crying in front of you and you just stare helplessly.” critiqued Kyle.
Ike scoffs. “No. I just believe that you can only expend your sympathy so far before you let them fuck their life up. Which Tweek does. Frequently.” he retorted.
Ike turns to the others. “Stan, Kenny, Tolkien, and Clyde. Share your thoughts with the rest of the class.” He gives Kyle a look. “I’m dying to hear, really.”
Clyde immediately breaks. “Let’s not fight guys.” he pleads.
Ike face palmed. “You are just as bad as my brother.” he grumbled.
Stan decides it’s best to step in. Kenny pats Clyde’s back. “Kyle, we understand you worry about Tweek. But he is an adult now.” said Stan.
Tolkien cleared his throat. “Have you considered how this is affecting you?”
Kyle rolled his eyes. The black man continued to speak. “As soon as you got back from Caltech you haven’t looked into any jobs or colleges. You only work at Tweek’s to keep an eye on him and save up some for your own place.”
Kyle tears up. “Tweek almost died.”
Kenny hugged Kyle. He gave Ike a look of warning. “Buddy. We know.” he said.
Clyde finally looks at them. “Maybe we can all go out and do something. We hadn’t had a bowling night in awhile. You and Tweek love that stuff.” he suggested.
Kyle sniffed. He went out of Kenny’s arms and hugged Clyde. “When did you get so sweet, huh?” He’s practically crushing the other man. Clyde looks at Tolkien for help.
Stan chuckled. “You’re killing Clyde. Let him breathe for a minute.” he said lightly.
Ike looked at them for a moment. He gave a small smile. He nodded to Stan as if to say, “I’m leaving this to you. Don’t disappoint me.”
They never got down to the real reason that Kyle called us to his place. Maybe they should’ve.
They go bowling. Tweek declines their invitation. Kenny tries to distract Kyle with weed, parties, video games, the recent political climate, and the history of stop motion animation.
Kyle gets worse. His hair is greasy and messy. He’s only wearing boxers despite normally preaching about social etiquette. He’s yelling at all of them.
“Craig is hurting Tweek.” insisted the redhead. His eyes are wild. He grips Stan’s arms. “Why the fuck are you not acknowledging this?”
Stan gulps. “Kyle. Look at me. Look in my eyes.” he asked frantically.
Kyle ignored him. He immediately goes to Clyde. He glares. “Where’s Craig, Clyde? You are his best friend.” he hissed.
Clyde walks back several steps. His lips are trembling. “C-Craig said he was taking Tweek out somewhere special. They aren’t s-supposed to be back till next w-week.”
Stan remembered raising an eyebrow. It was objectively nice, he told the officers, but timing was off. If he cared about Kyle’s feelings, why wouldn’t Craig make sure Tweek could support him? Best friends can see the small cracks. And Kyle’s kept getting bigger.
Kyle was screaming. “You let him go!?! He’s going to kill him!” he kept repeating. He went closer to Clyde.
Clyde started to cry. Kyle raises his fists like he’s going to punch him but Tolkien gets in the way.
“That’s enough,” said Tolkien. He put Kyle’s fist down. His eyes are cold. “Clyde is only repeating what he was told.”
Eventually the rest of his family comes home. Kyle is being held back by Stan and Kenny as he keeps screaming and crying. Sheila tries to comfort him but he doesn’t seem to care that she's there. Gerald asks Tolkien for an explanation. They are speaking quietly.
Clyde is sobbing. He’s sitting in the corner and not speaking to anyone. That worried Stan just as much. Why does he regress so much when conflict happens? This is the only time Stan sees him act like that. Did Craig do that? Or did his parents? He wasn’t sure.
Ike is whispering things in Kyle’s ears. Whatever it is, it makes the redhead calm down. At least briefly. He takes Kyle to his bedroom.
He comes back out. “What the hell just happened?” he asked them all. Ike looked at them like they caused all of this.
Tolkien speaks first. “Kyle has been unnaturally focused on Tweek and Craig for a while now. He thinks Craig is going to harm Tweek.” he said slowly.
“Why didn’t you tell us that Kyle was this way sooner?” asked Gerald. He looked disappointed.
Shelia’s eyes watered. “Gerald. Mental health problems run on my side of the family. Remember the Ginger Cow situation? Oh, Kyle might be inheriting that from his grandmother.” she cried.
“We thought maybe he just needed time to adjust to Craig. He was taking time Kyle used to be with him, you know. Check up on him.” said Kenny. He held his head down.
Clyde wasn’t calming down. Gerald looked at him with pity. “What’s wrong with Clyde?” he asked.
“Kyle started screaming at Clyde first. He thought that Clyde should have known better than to let Tweek go with him on vacation.” explained Stan.
Kenny went to Clyde. He’s cracking jokes and saying the most off the wall shit to get a reaction.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” said the older man flatly.
Tolkien steps in. “We don’t know, sir. Clyde has always been ... .sensitive, but we never saw these types of reactions till recently.”
Gerald looked thoughtful. “When did these changes start?” he asked.
Kenny is hugging Clyde. Clyde smiles tentatively.
“Like four months ago, I think,” said Stan. He’s scratching his head. “Things that didn't bother him now did. Arguments became worse than death.”
“Tucker.” muttered Ike under his breath. He looked at Clyde with sadness. It was the closest Stan saw Ike to want to embrace a fellow human being.
Gerald smiles generously. “Have Craig talk to me, son. I’d like to clear some things up between my boy and Clyde. An older man’s perceptive may be useful.” he said easily.
Whatever happened made things worse. Gerald nearly punched Craig and Tweek almost called the cops on the older man. Kyle was staking out everyone’s house and waiting till they were available to discuss Craig.
Ike said that he doesn’t care what his dad or Kyle did. His brother has a point and if they care about their lives then they’ll listen.
Sheila doesn’t listen to Gerald or Ike. She’s getting updates from family friends and cops checking up on Kyle enough that enough was enough. Kyle was out on an involuntary mental health stay for two weeks.
“How was Kyle after he came back?” asked Matthew. His eyes looked almost tearful.
“He was quieter. Apologized. Said the doctors put him on some anxiety medication. He was diagnosed with Paranoid Personality Disorder.” said Stan with a humorless laugh.
“But he didn’t stop.” said Sheriff Joe. He looked confused. “If what you are saying is correct Kyle understood it was the illness and not Craig.”
Stan nodded. “He did accept the diagnosis. But Craig said or did some things around Tweek that freaked him out. Kyle said whatever it was, it wasn't normal.” he said slowly.
Sheriff Joe’s eyebrows furrowed. “And Mr. Donavon? How was he?”
Stan explained that Clyde stopped interacting as much with Kyle and the rest of them. Every time Craig was with Clyde he stuck closer to Craig as if he could protect Clyde from harm.
“But he wasn’t always like that,” said Stan. His lips were trembling. “He used to be able to tackle a guy because he missed him and if he was punched laugh it off. I remember one day Jimmy Valmer asked him how’d he get so chill. Clyde said something along the lines of, ‘it do be like that sometimes.’ and grinned.”
Apparently that’s all the cops needed from him. They let Stan go with some pizza and root beer. “Try to have some fun,” said Matthew. He looked at Stan with careful eyes. “You look like you need it.”
Understatement of the century.
He leaves.