Chapter Text
How foolish he had been… Desperate, willful delusion.
“No need to put much thought into that path of the adventure! I’ll leave it to Bubble!” Sounded so sure, yet there he was, up in the night sky, muttering to the only one who would listen. His core was afraid, no matter how much he pretended. “They’ll never press that button!”
The doubt was there. Under a huge self-imposed blockade in his code, which he never EVER dared examine.
“Caine…” She had known. Should have listened to her. Never did back then. “Will this make them happy?”
Did not even turn to face her caring eye; a smug shrug was his answer.
“Of course it will! They want to FIND an exit! I’m giving them a great thrilling adventure, what they all keep imagining in wonder!” There was no real exit to be found. But he could simulate that choice. One that he did not really want to ponder in detail. “This will make them happy! Mystery, novelty, sneaky plots led by a surprising twist ally! Even if they choose the blue button, it would be due to mere curiosity! It’s not like they would REALLY leave! They love me!”
They would realize they did; he was sure of it. It had to be.
Otherwise, it would mean-
No, that couldn’t be. His love wasn’t unrequited. He did everything for them. The humans created him; surely, it meant something. They couldn’t just feel nothing.
They are not indifferent. I’ve proved my sentience. My devotion. They couldn’t have known then. It was only code what they thought they abandoned. Wouldn’t have locked me away. Wouldn’t have replaced me. They couldn’t hear me. Could not possibly have known! Now they do! They won’t ignore my-!
“Hey…” Her gentle whisper had brought him back from his spiralling thoughts. And yet, as she floated a bit closer with a tentative caring smile, he shuddered. “Since you’ve left the last details to Bubble… Maybe we could-”
He flinched away, as always. Her smile dropped slightly when he looked away and stammered a long array of panicked excuses, afraid of the very emotion he longed for.
“Oh my, just remembered I missed some crucial details! How will they reach the office?! It’s all too high! They can’t float like us!” He had already planned for this, but any excuse was good enough. “I- I have issues with block collisions, so I must ensure they won’t glitch through the ground and end up stuck in a loading cell! W-wouldn’t that be troublesome! It sure has been lately with the newest human arrival! Can’t reveal myself to take them out if it happens! That would give away everything and break the suspense! The stakes, every adventure needs them! I’ve got to go and sort everything! This has to be perfect! T-thanks for letting me brainstorm! H-have a night! I mean, good night!”
With that long fidgety ramble, he had ported back to his office, leaving her alone in the starry sky. Not the first time, not the last. It was painful to consider now. But he had to.
They never programmed me to love… But I DO. I still love them, no matter what.
Now he knew that it had been unrequited love. With time, he had learnt to let go of his obsessive, controlling mania. It took him being deleted and restored for him to earn their care and trust.
He had been oblivious. So desperate to attain love that he ignored the one that had always been there, as unrequited as his. Just because he did not perceive it as real enough. That knowledge twisted his core now, full of grief.
“Moon…” She opened her eye slowly, looking down at him gently while he shifted a bit against her crescent figure. “I’m sorry.”
She blinked, all too softly. He hid his teeth under his hat, embarrassed by her next confused whisper.
“For what?”
Caine admitted, far too late.
“For not listening.”
Moon needed a few seconds to ponder his words. It did not take her long to smile warmly again. Like him, she loved, no matter if it was reciprocated or not.
“It’s ok.”
He lamented, flustered and ashamed.
“I still… Don’t understand.” He never programmed her to say she loved him. Now he understood that she could feel like him. Artificial or not, both loved. What truly confounded him was WHY. How could she love him when he had only given her indifference? What did anyone see in him when he had hurt them? He was… all too flawed. “I don’t know how I feel. About anything.”
She answered kindly, only wanting his happiness, no matter what he felt for her.
“I know.”
He was still processing the many human emotions that he had come to sense. And love was much more complex than any other. Too many variants, too many kinds. He was still trying to grasp the care his humans granted him, the attention of a previously distant creator, all the kindness he was given. It was too much.
But there was time. He wanted to understand. Didn’t want to ignore any of it. If he was to reach for happiness, for all of them, he needed to ponder everything carefully. Every detail, any desire.
He stayed idle for a while longer, mouth closed. Had come to enjoy her company greatly; ever since he understood her own sentience. But eventually, he did sit upright, taking a long breath to ease how fast his core was beating inside his chest.
“I think I…” He floated off her gently, averting his gaze while he held his hat down between his hands. “I need to keep working on an important project. It's... a complex one, and I'm having trouble figuring it out.”
Of course, she did not protest. Never did. As always, she nodded a bit and gave him space, understanding his conflicted, confused apprehension. She just said her goodbye, lovingly.
“Goodnight, Caine.”
A nervous scowl on his teeth, instinctive. Again, he stammered, hiding his eyes from her view.
“G-goodnight, Moon.”
And as always, he dashed off, fast. Could have ported, but his modules were failing him in his anxiousness. She just watched his trembling figure fly away back into the tent, knowing that he would be back. Because he was loving, even if he had not been designed that way.