Chapter Text
Bokuto learned Morse code as a kid. He thought it would be a fun way to communicate secretly with his friends and sisters, and practiced obsessively. After school, during breaks, and even in the bathroom.
(“Kou, honey, why are you always tapping on the counter so loudly in there?”
“Uh… it helps me pee?”)
It turns out, other kids didn’t find the prospect of learning Morse code nearly as fun. He was disappointed when he realized, but the pride of knowing a different form of communication, no matter how uncommon it was anymore, made up for it.
Over time, he developed an unconscious habit of tapping out words while he was focused on something, half the time not even realizing what he was saying or spelling.
Akaashi notices almost immediately after they become friends. At first, he assumes it’s a nervous tic, but soon, he recognizes patterns in the tapping. He considers asking but always forgets, distracted by Bokuto's blinding smile and over the top personality—until their third year.
“Bokuto-san, why do you always tap on your books when you study?” Akaashi eyes Bokuto’s fingers drumming on top of his history textbook.
“Huh? Oh, that?” Bokuto wiggles his fingers and laughs lightly. “Sometimes I tap random sentences in Morse code. Helps me focus.” He shrugs.
Akaashi frowns. “Morse code? I didn’t know you knew Morse code. When did you learn that?”
Because who the hell just up and decides to learn Morse code? Of course, it would be Bokuto.
Bokuto laughs again, running a hand through his hair. Akaashi may or may not track the movement with his eyes.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to ask, ‘Kaashi! I always see you staring at my fingers when I tap.” he smirks, clearly implying something. Akaashi flushes. “I-I apologize for staring, Bokuto-san. It’s just… rhythmic. I get distracted by it.” The blush spreads down his neck as he tries to shift the topic back.
“So, um, how long have you known Morse code?”
Bokuto scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “It’s kinda silly, honestly. Promise you won't judge me, okay Akaashi?”
Akaashi thinks he could never judge Bokuto—unless maybe he committed murder. Even then, he’d probably still look at him like he hung the moon and stars.
He smiles, warm and honest. "I promise.”
Bokuto perks up, the reassurance calming him. “I, well, I just wanted to be able to curse with my sisters and friends in front of my parents without getting caught.”
Akaashi stifles a laugh. This might be the cutest reason anyone has ever learned a language.
“AGAASHHHIII!” Bokuto groans and pouts. “You promised you wouldn’t judge me!”
Akaashi thinks he might explode.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just… that’s adorable! You’re very cute, Bokuto-san.” The words slip out on a string of laughter before he can stop them. His hand flies to his mouth, too late.
He watches Bokuto’s face for any sign of discomfort.
Instead, Bokuto fucking blushes.
“Akaashiii, you can’t just say stuff like that…” Bokuto mumbles, pink creeping down his neck. Akaashi wonders, briefly, if it goes all the way down his chest.
“You really think I’m cute?” Bokuto asks, voice sincere, eyes hopeful.
“I—”
“Because I think you’re cute too, Akaashi!” Bokuto leans forward, eyes shining. “I’ve always thought so, but I didn’t want to say anything because I really, really like being your friend. But then I noticed you staring at my fingers all the time and thought, ‘Oh wow, friends don’t really stare at their friends’ fingers unless they want to do something with those fingers,’ —not that you have to do anything with my fingers, I mean, unless you want to, and—”
“Bokuto-san.”
Bokuto snaps his mouth shut, cheeks flushing darker, smile waning slightly.
Akaashi wants to agree. Wants to tell him 'Yes, I think you're cute.' Wants to throw himself into Bokuto’s arms and kiss him senseless. But an uncomfortable feeling stirs in his chest. It moves through him like ice.
“Do you really like me? Romantically?” He needs to hear it outright, and has to confirm that it's true.
Bokuto’s grin returns, bright and easy. “Oh, of course I do, I thought it was obvious! I’ve liked you since I met you, Akaashi! You’re beautiful, like one of those cool old statues. And you always know how to cheer me up! I think… I think I love you, actually.” That stupid distracting red on his cheeks growing ever darker once again.
Maybe this time, Akaashi really does explode. And the feeling identifies itself, fear.
He grips the arms of his chair, heart pounding. This is everything he’s ever wanted so why does it feel terrifying?
Their entire friendship flashes before his eyes; every joke, every late-night talk, every high-five. Would it be worth risking everything they have for something more?
“Akaashi?” Bokuto asks gently, voice laced with uncertainty. “Was that too much?”
Akaashi realizes he’s just been sitting there silently like a fool, probably making Bokuto more nervous than he already had seemed. He steels himself for the next part.
“I think I’m scared,” Akaashi admits and takes a shaky breath. “I like you too. So much. But I'm scared. What if we date and break up? I don’t want to lose you, Bokuto-san.”
Bokuto smiles, soft and reassuring, and definitely a little sad. “Oh Akaashi, that’s okay. I don’t think you could ever lose me, even if you wanted to. You’re kinda stuck with me for life!” He chuckles, hesitantly reaching out to cup Akaashi’s chin, thumb tracing gentle circles on his cheek.
"It's okay that you're scared. We don't have to change anything okay? We can just keep being us, I love us."
Akaashi exhales. The gentle touch relaxes him more than he’d care to admit, especially after kinda sorta just rejecting Bokuto’s confession.
As much as he’d love to hold and kiss Bokuto, for now, he’s content knowing what they have is safe. He does feel guilty though.
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't be sorry. You're scared, we all get scared sometimes. I said it was okay didn't I? So it's okay!" He sounds so genuine, Akaashi's heart squeezes as he nods his agreement.
“And,” Bokuto hesitates, removing his hands from Akaashi's face, folding them in his lap, and casting his eyes to the floor, “if you ever change your mind, just… let me know, okay?”
“Of course, Bokuto-san. You’ll be the first to know.” Akaashi smiles, a strange bittersweet feeling settling inside him, and shifts the topic to ease the tension. “Now, would you teach me some Morse code? I’m curious.”
Bokuto lights back up, "I thought you'd never ask!"