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When I didn't get a response back, I knew what had happened, I really wanted to deny it, I gave myself a million excuses but, I knew it. He left me. In the dead of night sirens nearing, he left me dead in the dust. I ran, I ran as hard as I could but it was no use. I was cornered. Cops got out of their cars, I backed up into a tree, I dropped the boxes of pills I was holding in my arms, I didn't dare to pick them up. I was stunned.
"Put your hands up and freeze!" I heard a serious but shaky voice yell. I scoffed and turned my head. I didn't have much to live for at this point, Tougou left me. He didn't care he only cared about himself. I was ready to cry but somehow I felt numb. I didn't have it in me to run. I didn't have it in me to fight, my heart was broken. I was bitter. Was he always trying to get rid of me? Was this his plan in the first place? Fucking old man. I didn't care, kill me. I was clearly guilty no fighting this. A smirk came on my face.
"Hey punk are you listening! Hands up now!" The shaky cop yelled again. I nodded then thought carefully about my next move. This guy didn't seem like the trigger happy type but his shaking made me think he could be full of accidents.
"Yeah okay. But don't rough me up, I'm fragile." I said with sarcasm. Everything hurt nothing was soft. They grabbed me, cuffed me and threw me in the back seat. The younger shaky cop was the one driving and a gruff not so much older, but older cop was next to him. We were in silence the whole ride there. I hated it. I kept reflecting. No matter how much I wanted to stop. My mind went back to all those hair ruffles, back and forth banters and most importantly what he used to say to me.
"I couldn't have done it without you Osomatsu kun." I remember his face blooming with proudness. I felt so important. So cherished. It hurt so much now that he's left me. All those moments flash backs hit me.
His touch, the crimes we commited, the fake lives we lived all these months, was it a lie? No I wasn't going to cry. I was crying. I felt so stupid. Now my life is ruined. I'll be behind bars, doing god knows what. I was always afraid of jail, was it like the old movies? Is the soap droppong rumor true? My butt wasn't ready. That's when the sobs came.
I felt like a fool. I was suddenly small like a child. One that had a million chances to do the right thing. To stop getting in trouble. But trouble felt too good. The rush made me tense and it gave me meaning. I was doing something finally, I was needed. I got everything I needed, it was a two-way street. But it blew up in my face.
When we finally reached the facility we were reaching the younger cop grabbed me out of the car, he was a lot more gentle. I knew I could over power him but at this point I was curious what was jail?
Soon they took my picture, pushed me into a well guarded cell, they tried to take my thumb prints but, Tougou about two months in our little spree convinced me to burn them off. Of course I had no identification on me. That had since been destroyed. After that I had found myself in a dark room sitting in front of a detective.
"Who are you. We can't find you in any database. Give us your name. Or else." The detective said sternly slamming his hand on the table. Fuck up out my face with that. Nah.
"Wordy Rappinghood" I said boredly. I got the stink eye from the detective.
"What kind of fucking name is that?!" He yelled at me.
"My mother gave me that name asshole!" I yelled pretending to be hurt.
"Your real name, you're already in trouble, just give it up" He said sternly.
"Fine it's Alex Fapper Graham Bell." I smiled thinking of Choromatsu.
"Get him out of here, if you're not gonna tell us who you are you can stay in prision for the rest of your rotten life." I was escorted out.
Tougou told me to never tell who I was. Or a string of bad things would happen. It didn't matter if the heartless bastard left me, I knew to listen to him even if he wasn't around. It was most important to listen to him then. I knew this from experience.
They put me in a cell filled with a few other people. Some I recognized, much to my dread. I was cold even though I had on a bomber jacket. My shoelaces gone, my white T-shirt stained. I walked in.
"Well if it isn't Tougou's Little bitch." A tall grown built man sneered at me when I walked in, my head was glued to the floor. Ignore him. Just ignore him. But then again, I guess it was partially true wasn't it? What could I say against him?
"Guess he left him in the dust finally, baby sitting was too much for the guy." Another prisioner said this guy was a regular sized business man looking prisioner. A laugh came from the previous voice.
"He's always been sick , probably gets off on that kinda thing." I cringed a bit at these awful comments. Wondering if it was actually true. I leaned up against the wall. And looked around a bit before sliding down and sitting down.
"So, kid what are you in for? Taking the heat for daddy?" The tall built guy asked me I scoffed and smirked.
"Yeah something like that. I tried to make off with some uppers, played the decoy, fell on my face. The old man left me." I said as casual as I could. Putting it casual and simple made it feel less heavy. They laughed.
"Wow. So how much of the profit you think he made off with?" the business man asked. I thought about it calculating it up in my head.
"Probably about 100 milliion yen or a little less in product." I said trying my hardest to think about him with all that money without feeling sad,They laughed.
"There ain't no way he's coming back for you." A voice joined that just joined in said. I laughed Didn't he know I knew it?
"You know man, he's obsessed with the kid. He just might come back for him." the business man admitted. My eyes lit up. Would he really? No there's no way.
"Yeah I served a short jail time with him years ago, he's fucking creepy, he'd talk all the time about how this rotten little kid had landed him in here. And how good the kid would look under the knife. Fucking creep...now here you are." The built guy explained but he looked more horrified as he went. Was it really that distrubing? I had hope. Maybe just maybe the old man really was soft. Maybe Tougou-san was fucking deranged but it made me feel fuzzy to think he thought about me in an admiring way. I felt disgusting for thinking like this but, I couldn't deny it, it made me feel good when all of his attention was on me. That's how this all started I guess. I got his attention. Disgusting. I smiled a bit.
"Ew gross the kid actually looks happy after seeing this." a voice said from the cell.
"Guess the rumors are true, you owe me your coffee milk tomorrow." the business man said, the built man sighed. This kinda alarmed me. What rumors?
"Rumors? What are people saying about us?" I asked pretty curiously. I knew we were infamous in the crime world at this point.
"Well kid, that you're a couple of perverts with some sick kinks for one and that you're at the top of the game right now." He explained.
"Hah, fair enough." I said with a laugh somehow talking with these guys made feel more calm. I could grt through this.
"Still what are you gonna do if he never comes for you?" The business man asked. I thought for a second. How fucking dare he not come back? For the first time that night I was actually mad it was a rollercoaster of emotions. So I spoke out of impulse.
"I'll kill him, I'll break out of here and murder the old man." I said ,hate swelling up inside of me.
"Woooow can't wait to see that, a fucking creep like him getting killed by his own bitch." The built man said. Something in me finally lashed out. My situation finally settled. This guy was talking shit about us. I stood up and looked at him.
"I'm sorry what?" I said, walking towards him grinning. He looked at me in shock but he was prepared to scrap, he spoke again.
"I said it'll be a sight to see to see a little bitch like you kill the old man." He repeated. Without any hesitation, I kicked him in the balls not even trying to fight fair and then I took off my bomber while he was on the ground, stepped on his back and choked him with the jacket, stretching it around his neck tightly
"Well this bitch is kicking your ass, so don't sleep on me." I said sneering down at him. Suddenly there were people trying to pull me off of the guy. All I saw was red. Guards came running. I got off then grabbing up my jacket and throwing it back on.The guy was choking and holding his balls. I smirked down at him. Now to add icing on the cake.
"Come quick! Something is wrong with this muscle guy! We need a doctor!" Faking tears and concern I cried out. Everyone in the cell watched on in awe. I was playing this card and owning it. This way I could assert myself here and also show them that I had some power, I was a criminal just like them. They didn't want these problems. They came in and checked the guy before leaving him alone. Suddenly one officer looked at me and spoke.
"You, Mr. Nobody you need to come downstairs for questioning." He pointed at me. I followed him grinning at everyone who I walked by they just stared at me. I was a small guy but I did what I had to.
I followed the man but the more I looked at him the more he looked familiar, god who was he? Suddenly he started running, I ran after him.
"Hey wait up!" I yelled at the guard. He stopped in his tracks. He took off his hat, it was actually someone I knew not by name but by face. He was one of Tougou's associates we got tips from. I was flustered. I nodded and continued to follow him without question.
It was a long quiet sprint. A long corridor, down the stairs in a all white hallway. Finally we got to a door. He opened it with a key. Then he spoke to me and made eye contact for the first time since I found out who he was.
"Here Osomatsu, take this bag, it has your shoelaces and stuff that was in your pockets...run out of here. About half a mile up the road he'll be waiting for you." He spoke quickly threw the bag on me then left.
I stumbled out the door into the dawn. It was fresh, crisp and cold outside. I was surrounded by trees somehow I felt like I was getting tricked. But I kept going running,and running. I didn't know if he'd be there or how long a half amile was but I ran.
I didn't know if it was an hour or five minutes all time seemed to stand still. I ran and I ran I didn't get tired. If I was tired I didn't even know it. I thought about not going straight I thought about just going off another way, somehow getting home. Hugging my family and never letting go, going to the police and reporting Tougou but, I knew I'd miss him. Everything would go back to normal. I didn't want that. I had two options.
But deep down I knew he'd find me. I could never tell or sell him out. He'd kill me, torture me and maybe even things I love. Wasn't that backwards? You torture first. I knew I was tired. I knew I was strong but I just felt so little when I was around him.
Or there's the off chance of him not caring, letting me go about my shitty life. I didn't know what hurt worse. Being hated or ignored. I hated myself for being so attached to him, but it just felt right. I needed him and I convinced my self deep down, he needed me.
I was here, I saw a car, I didn't turn around. Tougou stood in his plaid butterscotch suit, waiting outside of the car. I stopped running and walked slower.
"Osomatsu." He spoke from a distance. I walked a little faster then. He looked at me curiously. Why the hell was he being so casual he left me stranded. He could've waited. We would've got away. I was so scared and he doesn't even care. I've been through all this and he says "Osomatsu" like nothing happened. Hell no.
"Yeah okay, Are we not going to talk about how you fucking left me?!" I started at a regular tone but ended up shouting, my frustrations were coming out.
"Are you going to whine or get in the car? Brat." Tougou said already irritated.
" I'm going to whine because what the fuck! You left me I was so fucking scared! What if someone did something to me in there ! What if I never got out! What if they found out who I was! What if I said something....like....it's like you don't care...." I started tearing up. I looked down, despite everything it was surreal, I knew deep down I would pay one day. Prision was always at the back of my mind. But having such a close call, it was like a nightmare. I was so scared. He wasn't there to save me. Could I even manage on my own if I saved myself? I didn't know, I never was by myself.
Tougou looked at me surprised, and a little shocked by the sudden out burst and tears. I must've looked like a pitiful child to him, I bet thats what I always was in his eyes, despite being in my twenties. He finally spoke.
"Osomatsu" He said sternly.
"No, ...you don't care." I said between sobs. I was full out crying, I didn't want to make eye contact, it only hurt. Everything hurt.
"Fine, do you want me to leave you here?" Tougou said with a hint of malice to his voice. The shock shut me up I started wiping my eyes. He started the car and inched a bit towards it.
"D-Don't leave me here." I said trying not to cry anymore. I mentally cursed myself.
"Are you going to be good and stop crying?" He said with a smug tone. He knew he'd won.
"Yes." I said looking down timidly. I hated that he could put me in this spot. I hated being so submissive so why was this happening? Why did it feel okay. He walked over and put his hand on my head and grabbed my hand and walked me to the car and opened the door. I got in.
"You made the right decision." Tougou said softly. I looked away finally catching myself I was seriously fucked up. He got me again. I laughed a little bit at how foolish I was. Now I didn't have a choice. I was still wiping my eyes.
Tougou turned on the radio and a old 70s western song came on. I didn't know what it was but he was humming along to it. I had question that would decide how I felt about everything.
"Can we stop for icecream?" I asked leaning back and taking a breath.
"Yeah sure but keep a low profile."Tougou answered. My eyes glistened.
"You really do love me." I said purposefully over reacting I hugged him as he drove. He struggled to make me let go.
"You're delusional, unlovable! Let goooooo kid!" Tougou commanded. I laughed and still fiddled with him. Maybe we'd crash and go steal another car to continue on home. It wouldn't be the first time.
END