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Yoonchae and Megan were, noticeably, extremely close. Everyone was very aware of it. Their members, management, friends, family, and fans. Fans were the ones who caught the small glances and smiles shared between the two that people in the moment couldn’t see. Megan and Yoonchae knew of all the speculation and fan edits, the both of them going as far as watching some together and giggling. What neither of them wanted to admit— though they both knew— was that the fans were right.
Something had shifted between them in the last year or so. Before their so-called beef, if it can even be called that, they were really close. After they talked about everything and Megan came to her senses, things were still a bit awkward. Until they gradually weren’t. They were in a place now that neither of them wanted to label.
The two were aware of their own underlying feelings and the tension that only seemed to grow. They flirted, like most people, but there was always something behind it. Their hands would linger too long, shared stares only being broken by outside forces, and their overwhelming desire to be within each other's vicinity at all times.
The last couple months it had only grown. Between their matching underwear, the wedding photo (that they didn’t discuss afterwards), and Yoonchae's big slip up on live with Sophia, the tension has been looking for the perfect time to snap right in half. Yoonchae has anticipated it's going to happen very soon. She can't lie and say she doesn't want it to happen but it's also a lot more nerve racking than she wants it to be.
The new “ICONIC BY MISTAKE” behind the scenes video just dropped and she can tell this was going to stir up old feelings. The clip of Eunchae slapping Yoonchae's ass has circulated and she remembered very vividly what had happened that day. When the director finally yelled cut, her and Eunchae immediately started laughing. She hadn’t noticed Megan right away— in fact she hadn’t known she fully turned around until this new video— but when she did she felt it.
Megan had a certain face and aura around her. She always got like that when she saw Yoonchae being just a little too happy with someone else. Yoonchae wanted to file it as jealousy but was too afraid she was getting ahead of herself. After all, Megan could just be messing with her the way she does everyone else. Right?
After leaving Korea and heading for Australia, Megan was very clingy. Not that Yoonchae minded but it was very ironic timing. It wasn’t only charged by everything that happened in Korea, though. That was around the same time Yoonchae was getting a lot of dating rumors with Karlee. Yoonchae herself hadn’t seen too many of them, but Megan had. She asked her about it, casually slipping it into conversation.
“You know if you and Karlee ever become a thing or have something going on, you can tell me, right?” She asked while they sat on the balcony of their Australian hotel. Yoonchae was caught off guard by the question.
“Sure, I know,” She replied simply. She could see Megan sort of eyeing her in her peripheral vision. “But we're not, just so you know,” Yoonchae watched what she could only categorize as relief wash over Megan's face. She remembered posting a very similar beach photo to Megan, playing into the fan service a little bit and offering the older girl reassurance in a way.
Yoonchae got pulled out of her thoughts as a couple of pictures from the new video popped up on her feed. It was screenshots of Megan and Daniela, Megan saying this was their debut as a couple and claiming they were dating. Yoonchae hadn’t seen them film this part.
She also of course knew they were just messing around, Daniela having a boyfriend and telling the members that she was one hundred percent straight (even if they didn’t believe it). But regardless, she felt a sting in her chest. She accepted what it was as jealousy and could only imagine how awkward rehearsal would be between them. Megan wasn’t the only one that was having resurfacing feelings, whether it made her avoidant or clingy, Yoonchae would find out.
Rehearsals the following day went well. As well as they could have. Megan and Yoonchae were normal, they talked and existed in the same space perfectly fine. There was something that brewed, though. The other members could feel it and recognized it as something that would be gone in a matter of days— if that long. That’s how it always was. One of them would get jealous or angsty and then be fine once they received the attention or affection they wanted. That was always how it worked, but eventually it will get to a point where only so much can happen without something bigger happening.
Yoonchae was getting ready in her apartment. They had all agreed they needed to have some fun since their schedule has been so full, considering the circumstances. The majority of the girls' idea of fun was a party, yet, it was not Yoonchaes. She had only reluctantly agreed after Megan begged her for twenty minutes and used her puppy eyes, knowing she would get what she wanted if she pulled those on Yoonchae. Lara and Megan were set to pick her up relatively soon, it was easier for the three of them to ride together since Yoonchae was usually their designated driver.
Her phone buzzed on the counter as she was grabbing her purse. She didn't have to look to know it was Megan texting her. She was right when she looked at it to see Megan had messaged her that they were outside. Yoonchae took one last glance at her outfit in the mirror. A black dress— not mini but not long either— and a small heel. She was told to dress a little fancy and wasn't exactly sure what that entailed. The only thing she knew for sure was that Megan had once said, when Yoonchae was trying to find something to wear, that she really liked this particular dress on her. She grabbed her purse and keys before heading out to the car.
Outside the LA air was nice. It had been hot earlier in the day but cooled off as the night went on. She quickly found Megan's car and made her way over. The windows of the car were down so Lara and Megan could see her as she was walking up.
“Oh my god Yoonchae, that dress looks so good on you!” Lara said with a smile from the passenger seat. Yoonchae laughed lightly before saying thank you, still not used to compliments despite the girls being hype women all the time.
She opened the back door and sat down behind Lara but right in line with Megan's view. She was shamelessly watching her as she got in, not hiding her smile as she scanned Yoonchae's outfit.
“You do look really good,” was all Megan breathed out, eyes locked with Yoonchae’s from the driver's seat. Yoonchae could feel the heat rise to her cheeks and before she had the chance to say anything back, Lara intercepted the moment.
“Okay, can you stop drooling and start driving? I think Sophia and Daniela are already there,” Lara said while lightly smacking Megan's arm. Megan blinked out of her trance and rolled her eyes at the older girl, but ultimately turned around to start driving. Yoonchae didn’t miss the look Megan gave her before she did, it's a look Yoonchae knows all too well. She had a playful glint in her eye, the one Yoonchae acts annoyed at but secretly enjoys more than she cares to admit. Megan knows it too.
The car ride there was a bit quieter than usual. It was only around fifteen minutes away but the silence felt heavy. It wasn’t in a bad way, it was the kind of silence that didn’t need to be filled because it was already saying so much. Lara would occasionally talk or sing to what was softly playing through the speakers but Yoonchae and Megan were silent. Lara felt the weight of the quiet herself and decided it was better to simply ignore it, not wanting to get too involved in whatever was happening between the two of them.
They got there finally and spotted Dani's car where she and Sophia were waiting for them. Once spotting the three of them walking towards their car, they got out to greet them despite seeing each other just hours ago. The compliments and praises went around between the five of them, five being their number for now, but the six presence not being forgotten.
As they made their way inside the building, someone’s house Yoonchae assumed, she couldn't help but steal a glance. Megan was wearing her usual party attire— a mini skirt slightly fancier than usual, a dressier tank top that was see-through, and a black bra underneath— Yoonchae stared for a little longer than she intended.
“My eyes are up here, Yoonchae.” She could hear the smirk in Megan's words as she looked up to find Megan staring back at her. Her cheeks started to heat up at being caught gawking so obviously before she rolled her eyes and looked away. Lucky for her none of the other girls heard and Megan didn't have time to make another remark before they entered.
The place was packed full of people already and Yoonchae was immediately reminded why she did not come with them very often. The music was louder than her thoughts, the strobe lights were bright and shining in her eyes, and the heavy smell of alcohol was everywhere. She hated herself for agreeing to this but she folds every time under Megan's eyes.
“I’m going to go get us some drinks!” Lara had to yell at the group. They all nodded before people started coming up to them to say hi. There were some faces Yoonchae knew but also some she wasn't too familiar with. By the time Lara made it back with drinks, she had greeted like ten people. Lara passed everyone a drink, even including Yoonchae.
“You don't have to drink it if you don't want to, it's not strong and I figured I’d offer!” She said warmly, passing Yoonchae the cup. She was their DD for the night but one small drink likely wouldn’t have done anything to her. She had drank a little bit with them before, Sophia unaware of this as she wouldn’t have approved, and it wasn't too awful.
“Thank you!” She yelled over the music and brought the cup to her lips. Daniela and Sophia were a little shocked she took Lara up on the offer, but didn't say much as they knew it wouldn’t hurt. The drink wasn't strong and honestly was kind of good, a more fruity initial taste with the alcohol lingering on her tongue after. Megan sent a half smile her way and brought her own drink to her lips, eyes never leaving Yoonchaes. Yoonchae felt her heart speed up a bit at the held gaze and looked away before she folded underneath it.
The girls dispersed amongst themselves to talk and dance since they come to these functions frequently enough, they knew how to casually work the room. Right now Yoonchae was with Sophia as she had dragged her with to meet one of her friends. The girl was nice and interesting to talk to but she couldn’t stay focused on the conversation. Her eyes and mind were somewhere else.
Across the room from her Megan was having a conversation with someone, a girl, she vaguely recognized. Yoonchae had seen her at other events the girls were at and she was in some of their pictures, but at that moment, all Yoonchae could see was how close she was to Megan. She had gotten over her jealousy about Dani pretty quickly considering it was very clear fan service but watching Megan lean in when the other girl spoke brought that feeling right back up.
The worst part was Megan knew. It was even worse because Yoonchae knew that Megan knew. Every so often she’d look in Yoonchae's direction and stare right back at her, holding eye contact, and then breaking it by leaning too close again.
“Yoonchae, are you okay?” Sophia's friend asked, lightly touching her shoulder. Yoonchae hadn’t realized that she had missed basically an entire conversation and now couldn’t for the life of her remember the girl's name.
“Sorry, yes I am,” she apologized and offered a smile. Sophia had been watching Yoonchae and noticed what— or who— had been distracting her. She shook her head and rolled her eyes to herself and tuned back into the conversation Yoonchae was having.
“So Yoonchae, do you have anyone special in your life?” Sophia's friend— that she now remembered was named Elisha— asked with a playful tone in her voice. Yoonchae felt blush creep up her neck at the question and honestly wasn't sure how to answer.
Her and Megan weren’t anything official but they both knew there was something going on between them. Yoonchae had tried to talk about it once a couple months ago but Megan had steered the conversation away before it even got started.
“Um— not really,” Yoonchae responded with a nervous laugh. Sophia laughed a little too, amused by the situation and Yoonchae's reaction. Luckily Yoonchae didn't have to elaborate or continue that particular conversation too much because Lara walked up to them. Or so she thought.
“Hi ladies, what’re we talking about?” Lara asked, scooting herself between Sophia and Yoonchae.
“Just Yoonchae’s love life,” Sophia said, smiling and glancing Yoonchae’s way. Lara and Elisha were now looking at Yoonchae as well and she wanted nothing more than for this conversation to end.
“Oh are we now, what about it?” Lara teased and raised an eyebrow. Lara happened to notice Megan glaring at Yoonchae and Yoonchae half way staring back. She had looked between Yoonchae and Megan and suddenly came up with an idea before Yoonchae even had a chance to deflect the question. “Do you guys wanna dance?”
Sophia nodded excitedly and the two girls didn't give Yoonchae a choice as they dragged her towards the dance floor. Yoonchae tried to groan in protest and attempted to slip out of Lara's grasp but failed horribly and instead decided to just give in. The dance floor— someone’s living room— was so full of people that Yoonchae was forced into her members' very personal space.
“Come on Yoonchae, just loosen up and dance!” Sophia shouted over the music. Yoonchae sighed and realized that she was just kind of standing there stiffly between the two. That’s when she made the choice that dancing won't kill her and she might as well have some fun since she's already here. She rolled her eyes but synced with Sophia and Lara’s dancing.
“See, I knew you could have fun if we pushed you!” Sophia said to her as the three of them bounced around to whatever EDM song was coming through the speakers. Yoonchae actually felt herself having a good time, grateful she was pushed outside of her usual awkward and reserved comfort zone.
“Who got Yoonchae to dance?” Dani shouted walking up to them with Megan, they had spotted the three girls from the other room and were offended they weren’t asked. They both quickly fell into the group's rhythm, Megan had taken her place right next to Yoonchae.
“It was a team effort and I honestly don't know how we succeeded!” Lara said, laughing and grabbing Dani's hand. Megan smiled at her response and deliberately stepped closer into Yoonchae's space. The younger girl felt her head spin at the proximity, she could feel Megan's body almost press up against her when they moved a certain way. Yoonchae had watched as Lara slowly—not noticeable to the regular eye—moved and made way for Megan to get even closer to Yoonchae than she was. Which she did not know was possible. Yoonchae shot Lara a sharp glare, letting her know that she knew what she was doing, to which Lara just shrugged and moved close to Sophia and Daniela.
Megan took this opportunity and placed her hands on Yoonchae's hips. They were firm enough she could feel them but light enough to where if she wanted them off of her, she would be able to do so. She didn't move them away. Instead, she leaned into them. She was suddenly feeling bold and it definitely had nothing to do with the fact the girl Megan was previously talking to— was looking their way. Definitely no correlation. Megan was pleasantly surprised she hadn’t flustered Yoonchae to the point where she would pull away like usual, she wondered why that was the case. She was not going to let this moment go to waste so she pulled the blonde closer, her breath could now be felt on Yoonchae's neck. She felt her shiver at the lack of space between them and laughed.
“You okay?” Megan asked right against her ear with a huge ass smile on her face. Yoonchae knew this by the way she asked her, she could hear it, and knew she felt no guilt. All Yoonchae could do was roll her eyes.
“Yes, Megan.” She said loud enough for Megan to hear but not the others with a hint of annoyance that she didn't actually mean.
“Are you sure? You seem a little tense to me,” as she spoke, Megan moved her hands up slowly before tracing them back down. Yoonchae had never been more glad that the main overhead lights were off because she didn’t want to imagine how red her face was.
Yoonchae's eyes made their way back to the place where Megan's friend was previously standing. She was looking at them still but with irritation clearly displayed that hadn’t quite been there before. Megan could see some of Yoonchae's face, her eyes included, and followed her gaze. She watched her friend— across the room— storm off after seeing enough of her and Yoonchae. Megan looked back at Yoonchae's face again and saw the smirk form, triumph and victory written all over it.
“Yoonchae, what was that?” Megan asked but it was a useless question as she already knew the answer. Yoonchae just shrugged, knowing Megan would be able to feel it with how close they were.
“Yoonchae, were you jealous?” The question wasn't exactly a whisper, it being way too loud for that, but aimed for only Yoonchae to hear. Luckily, their members were preoccupied with talking to each other to even notice how close Megan and Yoonchae really were.
“No,” is all Yoonchae responded with, not giving Megan the satisfaction of being right quite yet.
“Oh really? Because to me, it looked like you weren’t too happy with how close she was to me earlier and decided to show her that I’m not someone she can have. Is that right?” Yoonchae was a goner, all the boldness and courage she had left her body when Megan teased her, right against her ear.
Yoonchae was however determined to have a real conversation with Megan tonight. She was sick of wanting her silently (which they were both failing at anyway), sick of not having a real reason to be jealous, and sick of not having Megan all to herself.
“We’re leaving and going to my apartment, we need to talk.” Yoonchae said with such authority and intensity that Megan couldn’t object or argue with. Megan knew that there was no avoiding Yoonchae and this conversation, and she was the one who was nervous and flustered now.
“What about Lara?” Megan questioned and Yoonchae heard her swallow nervously. They were still moving to the music, Megan's body still pressed against Yoonchae's.
“Sophia and Dani can take her home,” apparently Yoonchae spoke loud enough that the girls heard their names and turned their attention to them. Sophia and Lara's eyes narrowed at how close they were, all three of them being amused and confused as to why they were mentioned while they were practically grinding on each other. Yoonchae and Megan suddenly felt really hot and shy now that eyes were on them.
“What about me and Dani?” Sophia asked, the three moving closer towards the girls to hear whatever they were about to say next. Megan took her hands off Yoonchae but stayed close enough that Yoonchae could still feel her prescience behind her.
“Can you take Lara home? Megan isn’t feeling well and I offered to take her home and help her.” Yoonchae said casually, the excuse was not too far fetched but she also knew damn well no one believed her. She could only hope they wouldn’t comment on it and just oblige to her request.
“Sure that’s fine, but she looked pretty fine to me.” Dani responded, already laughing. Sophia and Lara attempt to hold theirs in but end up laughing anyway. Yoonchae and Megan were not laughing, they were tense and it was obvious.
“I just needed stability,” Megan told them this time, not Yoonchae. The girls still didn’t believe them— reasonably so because nobody would— but decided to let them be. After all, Lara and Sophia can partially be blamed for their sudden urgency to talk.
Yoonchae grabbed Megan's hand suddenly and said her goodbyes to the girls, Megan followed right behind. As they were leaving they had to make a couple stops along the way, their mutual friends wondering why they had to leave so early. Yoonchae told their friends the excuse, it being more believable to outsiders who didn’t just watch them dance all on each other.
The walk to the car was silent and was only broken by Yoonchae asking for Megan's keys. Megan was confused but tossed them to Yoonchae without saying anything. Megan was admittedly more nervous than she wanted to be. She knew that eventually they would talk about what they were and what was going on between them but that didn't make her any less scared.
The truth was she had loved Yoonchae for the longest time, longer than she'd like to admit. That was why she pulled away in the beginning, she was scared and confused. This girl came out of nowhere and took over Megan's every thought. Once she realized she was really hurting Yoonchae, she knew it was better to suck it up and deal with her feelings silently while still being close to her best friend than it was to put space between them.
She was okay with that and she was handling it— that was until she had started noticing. She really noticed it around a year ago, Yoonchae had begun reciprocating her flirting and jokes, her touching and hugs, but most of all her eye contact. Something shifted in it— it went from a best friend admiration to something stronger— something she didn't admit at first.
Lately it was incredibly harder to keep lying to herself and she didn't want to keep denying it. She wanted to give in and profess her love, the only thing that's been holding her back is her fear. Not her fear for herself but her fear for Yoonchae. She was more worried about what it would mean for Yoonchae to come forward with this than she was for herself.
Megan started recognizing familiar surroundings and stopped her thoughts, it was the street Yoonchae's apartment happened to be on and they were pulling up. Her heart was pounding and the only thing she could think about was how good Yoonchae looked right now— not just in this moment as the street lights cast a glow on her face that makes Megan's stomach do flips— but just tonight in general. She couldn’t help but stare from across the room as she was talking to one of her friends, trying to make Yoonchae jealous but having no real interest in the person that was trying to flirt with her. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw her having fun while dancing and wanted nothing more than to go dance with her. She couldn’t help but want her all for herself, more than anything else she's ever wanted in her whole life.
Megan glanced in Yoonchae's direction and watched as she put the car in park, the anticipation eating her alive at this point. Yoonchae looked up to find Megan already staring back at her and felt her determination waver at the eye contact. Yoonchae broke it first by unbuckling her seatbelt and turning the car off, Megan followed suit and they walked to her apartment in silence. There was a new kind of weight to it—it wasn't like the one from earlier— it was instead charged with months of tension, yearning, and desire that was about to be exposed for the both of them.
Once they entered Yoonchae's apartment the energy had changed, they both knew what needed to be talked about but were too afraid to speak their minds now that they were alone and vulnerable. They were both sitting on Yoonchae's couch with a larger amount of space between them than usual, not looking at each other. Yoonchae cursed to herself in her head for not thinking past asking Megan to talk, suddenly at a loss for words on how to express herself.
“What’d you want to talk about?” Megan asked. She acknowledged it was a stupid question but couldn't think of anything else to say to break the unusual and awkward silence between them. Yoonchae sighed before giving Megan a look.
“You know what I wanted to talk about, Megan.” She said, surprised with herself that she actually got it out. Megan gave her a look back before responding.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don't," Megan started and earned an eye roll from Yoonchae. “But unless you talk to me, you’ll never know.”
Yoonchae took a deep breath and told herself she had been waiting for this moment. She had waited too long to tell Megan she was done with hiding her feelings, done with the pining for each other but never being bold enough to do anything about it, she was done with playing games and just wanted her.
“I love you, Megan. I don't know when I started but I do and I want to be with you. I don't want to just flirt with you and pretend nothing happened. I don't want to feel guilty for being jealous about you being too close to someone because we're not together. I know you feel it too unless you're just faking the way you act, but I see it. I don't want to not really know what we are or lose you to someone else because neither of us said anything.” Yoonchae breathed out, she could feel the tears threatening to fall but held them in. She looked at Megan who was taking everything in and wished she could read her mind or something so she knows how she feels.
Megan was quiet for a minute or two and Yoonchae could feel herself getting more worried every second, scared she said the wrong thing. “Say something, Mei.” Yoonchae pleaded.
It was Megan's turn to take a deep breath before saying what she's been holding in for years. “I don't want to pretend anymore either. I'm sick of pretending like I haven’t wanted you for years. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Yoonchae. The moment you even showed the littlest bit of interest in me in the way I wanted you, I started convincing myself you didn't mean it in that way. But when it got to the point where I couldn't keep denying it or lying to myself— I got scared. I'm still scared for you. I love you, Yoonchae and I want the world to know that but the world is a horrible place. People will be really cruel and I don't want that for you. And, management has—” Megan was interrupted by Yoonchae's hands on her face. She didn't know when but at some point she began crying and looked away from the younger girl. Yoonchae was wiping her tears with her thumbs as tears began to stream down her face as well.
“I don't care what people will say or what management will do. You don't have to protect me anymore, I can protect myself. People always have something to say and what they think doesn't matter. Management is already on us, what's one more thing?”
“They can hurt your name and reputation, Yoonchae. You know how they are and what they can do—” Megan was once again interrupted by the younger girl, this time by her lips crashing onto hers.
Megan has kissed many people before, Yoonchae's kissed people before, but they could never compare to this. After years of waiting Megan never imagined kissing Yoonchae would feel like it did— her world was being tilted on its axis as she kissed her back. Yoonchae's lips were soft against hers, she was gentle and sweet despite her initial roughness. Megan's hands found Yoonchae's waist and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss as one of Yoonchae's hands found her hair. Megan had tasted like cherries— her lipgloss ironically being cherry flavored— but Yoonchae wasn't complaining. Yoonchae couldn't get enough of Megan, everything about the older girl was addicting to her but she didn't think kissing Megan would be as intoxicating as it was. Megan had only reluctantly pulled away when she could no longer breathe but she didn't go far, her forehead rested on Yoonchae’s.
“Woah.” That was all Megan was able to get out. She was still trying to catch her breath and process the fact Yoonchae had just kissed her, she wouldn’t have ever seen this coming. Yoonchae giggled and Megan could feel it against her whole body.
“I needed you to stop talking, you were thinking too much about other people.” Megan rolled her eyes and lightly slapped Yoonchae's shoulder.
“I was just trying to be logical,” Megan retorted back.
“I don't want you to be logical, I want you to focus on how you like me and I like you. That’s it. We already act like there’s something between us, so what if there is.” Megan smiled and laced one of her hands through Yoonchae's blonde hair. She had loved this look on her since the second the bleach even went near her.
“I do like you. In fact, I’d go as far to say I love you,” Megan said in a silly and teasing tone but her words were far from being far from a joke. “And it would be pretty fun to be sneaky and secretive around everyone.”
“Of course you’d think that,” Yoonchae joked, smiling wide but Megan huffed and pretended to be offended. Before Megan had the chance to say anything back Yoonchae grabbed her and pulled her in for another kiss, knowing that'll shut her up.