Chapter Text
Charlotte woke slowly to the familiar sound of an attendant moving around the room. Floating between sleep and wakefulness, she didn't know where she was, and for a moment she felt as if she were in her own familiar quarters. The feather-bed and down pillow felt like that that place, and she thought she could feel the canopy and curtains around her, but somehow she didn't know which way she was facing or where anything was.
Slowly, she realized: the smell was wrong. The pillow and her own hair carried the fragrance of trees and herbs rather than flowers.
Oh, yes. I live on the boys' floor now.
She folded back the bedcovers. The sound was soft, but that was all it took for Justus to come to her side, just beyond the bed curtains.
"It's a quarter past first bell, My Boy," he said softly.
"I wish to rise. I have much to do today."
"As you wish."
So many of the changes were impossible to get used to — Charlotte's hands looked wrong, her voice sounded wrong and would only sound more wrong as this body grew — but she felt guilty at how easily Justus's presence had replaced Vanessa's, even as she was still uncomfortable with any other man doing certain attendant tasks. She would need to find someone else for the role by the end of winter when Justus would return to his true master.
Justus pulled back the bed curtain and started activating light magic tools. Now that it was winter, the windows wouldn't be providing any light this early in the day.
Charlotte stretched and rose, and as she emerged she received morning greetings from her guard knight —
"Rudolf?"
"Yes, Lord Charlott. Glad to be back in your service."
She had left her apprentice medknight out of her plans until now, both unsure how he would react and not wanting to burden him with the likely reputational damage when he was still underage. "I am pleased to have you back at my side, but is this truly your wish?"
"Well, yesterday was a shock, and I had to talk it over with my parents," he said, referring to the announcement of Charlotte's transformation and her debut as a young lord. "It was complicated, but in the end I decided it's not my job to question it, and I'd rather be known for having an, erm, unusual lord than for running away when things weren't what I expected.
"I didn't have it as bad as Natalie, though," Rudolf admitted. "Her family had to leave the feast before they lost it and started fighting in front of everyone."
"I see." Charlotte had suspected something like that.
"But I figure serving a lord has bright sides, too," Rudolf said, trying to lighten the mood. "Last year, Erkardt and Gregor complained a lot about guarding so many girls' tea parties."
"I won't do as my brother did, but don't think you're safe from tea parties entirely."
"Understood," Rudolf said, his smile undimmed.
That report from Kathrein last year had given Charlotte an awful headache, and in hindsight it bore all the marks of Oswald's work. Wilfried might have needed guidance to defer the invitations politely, but he never would have chosen what ended up happening. More likely, his head attendant had tried to have him steal credit for Rozemyne's trends without explaining what he was doing or even making sure his lord could identify common pound cake flavors, and now Wilfried was left knowing less than nothing about how to handle such a situation. Unbelievable. But if Mother and Father had chosen not to interfere, Charlotte could hardly claim the authority to do so in their place.
At a word from Justus, Rudolf went to guard outside the door and sent Ernesta in in his place. Ernesta led Charlotte through a morning exercise routine, then stood guard while Justus brought her breakfast, washed her, helped her into her clothes, and began to dress her hair for the day.
"Where is Kazmiar?," she asked.
"He has today off," Justus replied. "I'll have a break the day before we leave for the Academy."
"Very good." It was only right for retainers to have time to rest and see to their own matters, even if it did highlight just how much Charlotte needed to fill out her retinue.
"Now, what task has My Boy up so early?," Justus asked.
"I wish to clear my old chambers and create my new hidden room. Do we have permission to go to the girls' floor?"
"Indeed we do."
When all was ready, Justus sent an ordonnanz to Rozemyne's attendants to prevent any unpleasant surprises, and Charlotte proceeded upstairs with him, her knights, and a crew of servants.
"I wish to review every item personally," Charlotte instructed. "Do not discard anything without my permission."
This was met with a chorus of "Yes, milord."
Walking into her old room, Charlotte was struck with a soft yet intense pain, as if this was a home she'd abandoned long ago. The servants lit the magic tools, revealing rich pinks and floral patterns, ruffles and filigree. Charlotte saw the delicately carved dressing table stocked with hairpins like her sister's, creams and perfumes, a comb carved with flowers and a shumil… As she approached, she caught sight of herself in one section of the triptych mirror and was stunned at how poorly the image fit: that boy with his hair tied back and epaulets on his shoulders was clearly not the owner of this room.
"I don't need the dressing table," she said. "Pack the things there; I'll consider giving some as gifts later."
Still, she was unwilling to let go of everything. She looked around at all the items she had previously taken for granted, looking for something that could provide that sense of home…
"I want the inner bed curtains for my new hidden room." The outer curtains changed with the seasons, but the inner layer was a constant: rich ocher fabric that her mother had spent years embroidering with vines of pink flowers. After her uncle Ferdinand's tutoring, Charlotte could even make out magic circles: wind element, Schutzaria, and one that Rozemyne would never forgive her if she couldn't recognize: Mestionora. Yes, she would hold onto her mother's prayers that she be granted protection and wisdom, even if she couldn't display them openly.
With careful yet shockingly speedy hands, the servants emptied the dressing table and began taking down the bed curtains.
"My Boy," Justus called her attention and offered a trunk with a magic tool lock. "There is one task that only you can do. Please register your mana to this and pack anything from the hidden room that you don't want others to see. If one trunk isn't enough, you need only say the word."
"I thank you." Charlotte did as he asked, opened her old hidden room, and took the trunk inside.
She immediately went to the writing desk and packed the boards she used to write her doubts and frustrations on; her anxieties from the day before the fateful Harvest Festival journey were still written there and were not for others to see. She also took the luxurious little magic tool that scraped the boards neatly; there was nothing secret about it, she just wanted to keep the things together. Indeed the hidden room held very few secret objects, only secret memories: the desk where she'd written her private thoughts and scraped them away again, the chaise where she'd clung to Vanessa and cried while Rozemyne slept in her jureve, the embroidered cushions she'd pounded with her fists when Rozemyne's hand in marriage was given to Wilfried unearned and unappreciated…
But even the objects would have to be secret starting now, and there were a few that she would prefer to handle herself. She felt surprisingly little attachment to her dolls and the clothes she'd sewn for them, but she still didn't want to thoughtlessly abandon them and packed them to think about later. On the other hand, she was still possessive of the little porcelain tea set, the first gift she'd been old enough to clearly remember; it had also been the beginning of her training as a lady as she served imaginary drinks to the nursemaids and the stuffed toy lion she had left behind in the nursery.
She wondered what Melchior was doing there now and what he had been told about all of this, but he was perhaps the one person whose reaction she didn't fear. Her little brother certainly wouldn't scorn a miracle from the gods.
After one last look around and a check of the desk's cabinet and drawers, Charlotte locked the trunk, exited the hidden room, and kept the door open for the servants; it didn't have any restrictions that would keep them out. "I want the chaise and cushions and the writing desk for my new hidden room." Both pieces were quite feminine in style, but for the hidden room, that was what she wanted.
"Justus, please contact Mother. I'd like to visit with her and Melchior before I leave for the Academy, if possible."
"Understood." He'd gotten a diptych like Rozemyne's and wrote a note. "The portraits will move to your new room, I imagine?"
"Oh, yes." Charlotte was embarrassed to have forgotten about them until now. On the wall opposite her hidden room, she had a double portrait of her parents, with smaller paintings of Wilfried and Rozemyne below it; Melchior would be added after his baptism at the end of this winter. "Oh, I should commission one of Uncle," she realized.
"Understood." Justus made another note in his diptych with a shameless grin.
"What do you think about the frames?," she asked. They were rather fancy, with carved leaves and gold paint.
Justus looked at them. "They're fine. We're not decorating the Linkberg manor."
Charlotte chuckled. Those frames wouldn't suit Lamprecht or Karstedt, but thankfully she didn't have to push her own masculine aesthetic that far.
As requested, Charlotte was asked what to do with each item. She didn't need any more of the furniture or draperies, nor any of the rugs except the one from the hidden room, which she had overlooked until she saw the servants carrying it out. Her embroidery basket would go to her new hidden room; she intended to give up the craft, but it would be a waste not to use the materials she had already dyed. The leftover soaps and rinsham from the bathroom would join the contents of the dressing table as potential gifts. The clothes gave her pause as she saw her favorites from the last few seasons and the Royal Academy dresses she wouldn't have the chance to wear, but then she remembered that her older sister was actually smaller than her. "Offer it all to Rozemyne. Perhaps some of them can be altered to suit her."
Second bell rang. Charlotte was amazed that it had only taken half a bell to dismantle her old room — her old life, in a sense, or so she felt.
Just after the bell, an ordonnanz flew in through a side wall and alit on Justus's arm. "This is Rihyarda. Lady Rozemyne would welcome Lord Charlott to breakfast, if he is free at the moment." The words were polite, but somehow they sounded more exasperated with each repetition.
"I would advise you to refuse, My Boy," Justus said. "It sounds as if Milady is overexcited. Best not to encourage her behavior. Not to mention that we still need to make your new hidden room."
Charlotte nodded. Normally she would be happy to spend time with her sister, but she could admit that stripping her old room had not left her in the mood to deal with an overexcited Rozemyne. There were reasons such things were scheduled in advance except in emergencies. She leaned toward the ordonnanz stone, and Justus tapped it with his schtappe for her to reply. "This is Charlott. I have already eaten and am quite busy this morning, but I am touched by Sister's consideration. I would like to meet with her at another time; perhaps breakfast the day before she leaves for the Academy?"
An agreement quickly arrived — from Lieseleta. Rihyarda could be heard giving a lecture in the background.
There was only one thing left to do. Charlotte took one last look to ensure that the hidden room was empty, then closed the door and placed her hand on its feystone. In a moment, the place where all those memories had happened would be erased. Thinking back to her academy preparation with Ferdinand, she drew her mana out from the stone and found the sensation strangely reassuring. Giving up that place was still a wistful feeling, but what mattered about it were immaterial things that she would take with her and hold inside, and drawing in the mana felt like a symbol of that.
While some of the servants stayed behind to finish their tasks, Justus and the knights accompanied Charlotte back to her new quarters. Again she was struck by the alien smell, as well as the stark feel of the decor. She went directly to what would be the door of her new hidden room and pushed mana into the feystone there, applying extra pressure to stretch the room toward the right and make it wider than the previous one. It was enough effort that she felt rather drained when she finally lifted her hand again and opened the door for the servants.
"Well done, My Boy," Justus told her. "And how would you like the new room arranged?"
"Please curtain off the right half of the room and put the old things there so that they can't be seen through the open door. For the left half, just match the outer room and include a table and chairs for private meetings."
"That would hide the light on the door from half the room," Justus pointed out. "I'll need a day or two to prepare the magic tools, but I can add a second light or a bell. That is, if you don't want people just calling out to you."
Charlotte considered it. "I'd prefer the bell, if it isn't too harsh."
"No, it's quite mellow. It can be loud if someone pushes enough mana into it, but no one would start that way without a good reason." He brought her to the table, where he offered her a rejuvenation potion and several boards. "Now, please rest for a bit and look over these while I prepare tea."
"I thank you," Charlotte replied. While Justus's back was turned, she cautiously sniffed the rejuvenation potion in case it was one of Ferdinand's… intense recipes, but it turned out to be reasonably palatable. The boards contained intelligence on children in the winter playroom: those newly baptized who would be there for the first time and those whose situation was known to have changed since last winter.
While Charlotte reviewed it, Justus prepared tea and cookies with thorough poison checks, oversaw the servants' work, and wrote several messages. She was struck with guilt at how much work had been thrust upon him.
"Justus?"
"Yes?" He looked up from his latest missive.
"At the Academy, I would like to hire Kathrein to do any attendant work that's appropriate for her." Charlotte's transformation meant her apprentice attendant's post was no longer an acceptable role for a girl, so she at least wanted to soften the blow as much as she could. "Also, if you find any male attendants you are willing to recommend, please report to me about them."
"I appreciate your consideration, My Boy, but don't forget to search on your own as well."
"Of course."
Soon, one of the servants whispered something to Justus, and after several minutes checking the new secret room, he announced that it was ready for use.
Charlotte excused herself and stepped inside to explore. As she'd requested, the door led into an area matching the outer room, with a similar rug, a table and chairs, and a sideboard cabinet along the far wall. To the right, a thick curtain of rich but plain fabric stretched across the space, hiding everything beyond from view.
She stepped behind the curtain and found a place that wasn't quite her old hidden room but was close enough to feel comfortable. There were the old bed curtains lining the walls, covered with her mother's embroidery; her rug with its intricate borders and floral patterns; her writing desk with carved filigree and its upholstered stool; and the chaise with familiar cushions piled at each end and her embroidery basket on the floor at its foot.
Charlotte took a moment to sit and lean against the raised end of the chaise, hugging one of the pillows against her chest —
Ah. There it is.
She raised the cushion to her face and breathed deeply of the girlish fragrance that lingered on it, like sweet oils scented with fruit and flowers. Yes, that was what home should smell like.
Maybe I shouldn't give away everything from my old bath and dressing table.