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Noelle's dream of her and Susie on the ferris wheel a few nights ago has plagued her every waking thought. Heart-shaped fireworks, romantic music playing, a starry night sky — all things much too perfect to ever be reality, but just thinking about it fills her stomach with a thousand butterflies. She'd always thought she was in over her head. Yet so many strange things happened so quickly, and right before her eyes has she been granted the ultimate opportunity to go on a date with the girl of her literal dreams. Even with her shoes dug firmly into the sand, even with the wind whipping past and blowing her hair in every direction, Noelle doesn't feel grounded at all. She feels like she's fifty feet above Hometown, levitating freely in the sky as a weightless cloud. For the longest time, Noelle has wanted to fly, and she suspects this is the closest she might ever get.
Susie's mouth moves, and Noelle clings to every single word she says. Her mouth moves in kind, spilling her guts out to this girl who has only just started to know her on a deeper level. The two of them have hovered around each other for so long, and now that their paths have finally crossed it feels right — like two jagged puzzle pieces slotting into place, completing each other. Noelle hasn't been this vulnerable with someone in a long, long time. She's never fully herself around Mom. She hates lying to Dad, but she hates worrying him even more.
When Noelle confesses things that she's never dared to speak out loud before, Susie watches her with earnest eyes, and Noelle knows that her heart chose correctly all those months ago when Susie handed her back an eggnog scented pencil littered with bitemarks near the end.
But in the theater of her mind—her traitorous, wandering mind—she can't help but keep thinking of downturned red eyes staring at the floor of the ferris wheel cabin.
"Noelle?" Susie asks. Noelle flinches, straightening up.
"Ah, sorry," Noelle apologizes, sheepish. She smiles. "I just remembered something. Keep talking." Her face burns. "Please," she adds a moment later.
Susie snorts, nudging Noelle with her shoulder as she starts talking about how much she's starting to crave ice cream.
Angrily, her hands clench around the fabric of where her sweater meets her skirt. It isn't fair. Noelle has spent years thinking about Kris, agonizing about Kris, and all of a sudden when she's getting something she wants, Kris just has to go and do something to make her think about them all over again. Why would Kris vote for the two of them as King and Queen when they hadn't even seemed all that keen on doing it all those years ago as children, just merely did what Noelle wanted? Why would they go out of their way to show her, go out of their way to ride the ferris wheel alone with her, go out of their way to shake it all over again and bring her mind back to a day buried in the past?
(Why would Noelle write their names down too, just because they did? How desperate has she been for them to show they remember something, anything, everything?)
Noelle's heart stops beating the moment she sees the expression on Susie's face suddenly fall, her eyes widening in something like surprise. Her first instinct is that no, nothing is allowed to get in the way of this perfect moment that she's been dreaming of, no matter what it is. Dread pools in her gut, but she's never been able to curb her curiosity — so she angles her head to follow Susie's gaze over to the the perforated picnic table where there had been one Kris slumped against it and finds the number to now be zero.
"Uh," Susie starts, narrowing her eyes like she's seeing wrong. But Kris is definitely gone.
Susie's brow is furrowed in her obvious concern, but she shakes her head once and lets her expression settle into something less alarmed. She smiles, and Noelle's breath catches in her throat at how the sun catches in her teeth when she does that adorable little lop-sided grin.
"Maybe they just had to check on something. Or they wanted to give us... y'know, alone time," Susie suggests, trying to sound casual.
That's a reasonable conclusion to end up at. Noelle and Susie were sharing a very special moment earlier, and it would make sense if Kris wanted to give them some space. But she can't shake the feeling that it's something else entirely.
Noelle has a sixth sense of sorts that exists specifically for Kris. Though she's never been able to properly read their emotions, she knows the ins and outs of their behaviors like the back of her hand. Kris has always been odd, and maybe it's because of that others haven't been able to distinguish Kris-typical strangeness from what they've started to become. But Noelle can. That's precisely the reason that she can tell something's been off about them for awhile now.
And that's precisely why even while her head was furrowed against the softness where Susie's beating heart pulsed frantically into her ear, all she could hear was the intense rattling of the ferris wheel shaking.
"I think we should go check on them," Noelle blurts, clutching her hands together tightly while her thumb soothes her opposite palm. Nervously, she looks up to assess Susie. "If... if that's alright?"
Anxiety bubbles in her stomach as she ponders whether or not she just completely ruined her first date with the girl she's been pining after for months. There should be nothing wrong with it just being the two of them. That's what a date is, anyway, right? A one on one hangout, and one plus one is two, not three. Which begs the question of why both of them had been weirdly insistent that Kris tag along in the first place even though they barred Berdly off from joining because it was a date. They shouldn't need Kris.
Noelle shouldn't feel a pang of loss seeing them gone. But she does.
"Yeah," Susie agrees sheepishly, hand flying up to scratch the back of her neck. "Damn, what am I even saying? Of course we should. I just didn't wanna, like... ruin our moment, you know? This was really nice."
Noelle nods stupidly, processing her words. Susie grabs her by the hand.
"C'mon," Susie urges, tugging her along as she strides forward. Noelle rushes alongside her to match her pace, relishing the feeling of their hands intertwined.
Noelle isn't certain where Kris might go to seek refuge, but she has a few ideas in her head. She doesn't have enough time to fully consider any of them because not long after the search begins, it ends. Kris is perched on the edge of the trunk of Asgore’s truck, legs hanging over and swinging languidly like laundry hung out to dry on a clothesline. This had not been on her list at all, considering how Kris used to avoid this flower shop like the plague some days. Their shoulders are sagged slightly, hunched forward like they'd been earlier when they'd all been sitting at the picnic table. Like they're in an in-between of being there and being somewhere far away. Kris doesn't lift their head until Susie's practically right in front of them and tramples a leaf beneath her shoe.
Susie releases Noelle's hand and effortlessly moves to sit beside Kris on the far end of the truck, like it's a seat saved just for her. Noelle hesitates to move, then decides simply to linger in front of them.
"Hey, why'd you just up and leave without saying anything?" Susie demands, nudging her shoulder into theirs far more roughly than she'd done to Noelle earlier. It almost looks like it hurts, but Susie is smiling. Maybe that's just how the two of them are.
Noelle watches the two of them, her chest tight. Kris just shrugs, something small and barely there at all.
Noelle clears her throat. "If... if you were bored, you could have come and talked to us."
She stares at the ground where she stands above crushed bits of leaf. She's too afraid to look up and see Kris's ever impassive expression.
There's silence. Then, in their tiny, mumbly voice, "Go back. Sun's still setting."
She can tell what they're trying to get at. Go back and have fun. Kris hadn't expected Susie and Noelle to go after them. After all, they almost didn't. In another world Noelle likely would have agreed that it was nothing and stayed there in the sand with the girl she loves. But something's really, really wrong with her today.
"Nah." Susie looks up to the sky, squinting. "It's not fun if you're not having fun, dude. Sorry if we forced you to tag along and stuff. Looking back... I should've asked you if it's what you wanted. But since you're already tagging along, we're gonna stick by your side now."
"Don't be stupid," Kris chides, head jerking up to look at her. Kris rarely betrays anything in their face, but Noelle finally looks up to see the panic that flickers in their eyes.
"What'd you call me?" Susie huffs, swatting at them. Noelle opens and closes her mouth. It's easier to let Susie do the talking, because she always knows what to say. She crossed the chasm that once existed between her and Kris, something that Noelle has never been able to do despite her best efforts.
Kris looks to Noelle helplessly, then Susie, then Noelle again. Their tooth digs into their bottom lip before they start, "You two—"
"Blah blah blah," Susie mocks, cutting them off with a grin. She snickers at her own joke. Noelle covers her mouth with her hand to hide her own giggle. Kris turns between them, splitting their glare evenly. "You just had to go and run off instead of talking to us. Did you seriously think we wouldn't come for you?"
Noelle can hear the unspoken yes that Kris is thinking as they stare at her. Her hand grips her wrist tightly as she watches.
"You're really such an idiot." Susie perks up suddenly, her shoulders going straight. She looks over to Asgore's flower shop, and Noelle can practically see the lightbulb that appears above her head. "Hey, wait here, you guys. I'll be right back."
Before anyone else can say anything, Susie's already pushing herself off the truck and running off to the entrance of Asgore's shop. The bell of the front door jingles as it shuts behind her. Noelle watches the space where she stood just a second ago, before slowly reverting her gaze back to Kris.
It's just the two of them. It'd been just the two of them earlier too, in the ferris wheel. In her imagination, it's just the two of them when they go up on stage to get crowned as Festival King and Queen, putting their old childhood wish to rest.
Some things are just Susie and Noelle, like their moment at the lake. They've become something more. And Noelle's alright if some things are just Kris and Susie, like their diner hangouts. Those two have a special type of bond that Noelle can't describe in words. It's something she becomes envious just looking at. But if all of those things are true, then isn't it okay for some things to just be Kris and Noelle?
Noelle isn't sure where she gets the confidence. It must be Susie's influence rubbing off on her and covering her in a newly coated layer of boldness. Noelle moves to sit in the space Susie had just occupied, right at Kris's side. Kris scoots over slightly to make more room for her, and it only makes her feel more assured.
"Things are easier when you're there," Noelle says slowly, her chest growing heavier with each word.
White hot embarrassment pools inside of her and she pushes it down. Kris and Noelle aren't known for coming to one another and having honest heart-to-hearts. Every conversation with them is a dance, a battle, and Noelle always loses. It's always her confessing to her deepest, most honest thoughts, and getting little in return. She always waits for them to take her outstretched hand and meet her halfway, to close their metaphorical fingers around her metaphorical palm so they can tug each other close and finally find some semblance of what they once were.
Noelle can't help but become a different person when it's just her and Kris. A shallow part of her wants Susie to like her, to find her interesting, so even though her mannerisms always ooze through the cracks of her performance she can't help but try a little too hard. She suspects that Susie sees through a lot of it, yet Susie seems to like her anyway. She's never considered that who she is normally could be good enough for someone as strong-willed and radiant as her. Noelle feels like she's been standing next to a hot, open flame and as caught on fire as a result of simply standing too close.
Kris knows Noelle isn't cool, has known for a long time. There would be no point in trying to be anyone else in front of them because all they'd do is raise their eyebrow and stare at her like she'd grown a second head. In a way, it's frustrating to have someone that knows her so well, knows her lowest points and weakest parts. But she clings to what remains of her and Kris because it's so, so comforting to feel them next to her and know that they're still around. That the Kris who pours soy sauce in her water and calls it coca-cola, who mixes ketchup in her milk and calls it strawberry milk, who used to make her cry and laugh and feel everything, is still the Kris that's slouched next to her.
(She sees Kris swatting stray branches out of their way, their shoes trampling the soil. She sees Azzy holding a flashlight and shining the way for everybody, humming a tune. She sees herself, shoulders hunched, glancing around like there could be something waiting for her in the shadows. And she sees Dess, arm extended behind her to hold Noelle's hand tightly, soothing Noelle's palm with her thumb.)
Slowly, Noelle moves in to lean her head against their shoulder. She's quite a bit taller than them so it strains her neck a bit, but when she smells the butterscotch and cinnamon on their sweater she can't help but smile.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," she whispers against the fabric of their sweater. "You know how I feel about her. I told you from the start because I know there's no use in hiding anything from you. You know me, Kris."
There isn't a reply. Kris is drumming their fingers against the edge metal of the truck's edge, creating noise to fill in the silence.
"I like her so much it hurts. She's Susie, and that's everything." Noelle sighs, soft and quiet. Kris shifts just barely, angling their head the opposite way to create space for where she's nestled against them. Frustratingly, she can't hear their heartbeat right now. She doesn't know why, but right now she wants to really, really badly. All she wants is to satisfy her curiosity.
All Noelle wants is to know if their heart hammering right now, because hers is, just like it'd been when Susie held her close in the water and they listened to the evidence of each other's nerves. She wants to know if whatever this dreadful, twisted, all-encompassing feeling is that forces her to think about them constantly is mutual.
"But you're still important. You're Kris," she finishes. "My Kris."
Kris doesn't say a word. She hadn't been expecting them to. She doesn't mind if they have nothing to say to that, considering how awfully silly she must sound right now. If she thinks too hard about what she just said she might short circuit and run off while regretting that she ever gained the ability to speak, but before she starts to hate herself for being vulnerable, there's a question she didn't quite get the answer to.
Tentatively, she lifts her hand and hovers it just over their heart. She can't see their expression, but she hears their sharp intake of breath and waits for them to dart away from her. But they don't move an inch. With hesitation, she she moves to press her hand against them. She just needs to know—
"Look what I've got!"
Susie's voice cuts through whatever trance they'd been in, and Noelle casually retracts her hand, letting it fall to her side. They hadn't been doing anything wrong, but she doesn't want Susie to get the wrong idea, especially after everything that just happened at the lake. There's no need to make things more complicated than they have to be.
Susie stops in front of them, grinning while she clutches a yellow flower in hand, gripping the stem way too hard. "Ta-da! For Kris, since they think they're not a part of this. Or whatever."
Kris extends their hand outwards, hesitating briefly before taking the flower out of her hand. They twirl it around between their fingers, examining it.
Susie leans in to whisper and Noelle's ear, "I, uh, got something for you too. I'll give it later." Susie pulls back and winks at her once. Noelle starts to drive herself mad with the possibility of Susie getting her flowers.
"Thanks," Kris says, and they lean in to tear a piece of the petal off with their teeth. Noelle watches with her mouth slightly open while they start to chew shamelessly. It reminds her of that day in front of the gate of her house. Is eating flowers just something that those two do on the regular?
"What the — if you were just going to eat it, then give me a bite at least!" Susie cries, swiping the flower right back out of their hand. She pulls a petal off with her teeth too, and continues with a mouthful, "You can't eat it without me."
Kris pulls the flower out of her hand for the second time, ignoring the disgruntled sound that Susie makes, and holds the half-eaten flower up to Noelle. Their eyes are shining, reflecting the orangish hue of the sky, and Noelle finds herself lost.
"Want a bite?" they ask.
It takes a moment for her mind to catch up with her mouth, and she looks away sharply, a flush creeping up her neck. She hopes she hadn't been staring. She shakes her head once. "No, thanks. That's all you guys."
"More for us," Susie cheers. She goes in for another petal, but Kris tugs it out of reach. "Hey, stop hogging it!"
Susie is grinning ear to ear. Kris is trying to hide it, but she can see the way their mouth is quirked upwards even while they push at Susie's chest, trying to create distance as she moves in to grab the flower. They're no match for her might, because she successfully retrives it and gives them a swat on the head. She takes a huge bite and gives them what little remains afterwards with a smug look.
Kris huffs, and Susie starts laughing. Noelle watches them, unable to help her own smile. She has to retract her earlier statement.
This feels like flying.