Chapter Text
“How do you contrive to have such broad iron bars?”
Darcy paused. “Generally, by employing a blacksmith."
A rich, delighted laugh greeted his reply. "How singular! I should never have thought of it.”
“Elizabeth, what the-"
“Oh pardon me, sir! Would you like to take a seat?" She gestured at the only chairs in the room, near the fire.
Darcy sat, more than a little wrong-footed. He had just been able to suggest they sit so they could discuss the unpleasant matter of her betrayal of his trust.
“Would you care for further refreshments, Mr Darcy?" Elizabeth lifted an imaginary teapot and cup, even though the tea tray had already been removed to the kitchen. She did not wait for a reply but proceeded to pour out the imaginary tea, settle the imaginary cup on its imaginary saucer and then hand the entire contraption of air to an unfortunately non-imaginary man.
The man in question stared blankly. He rubbed his eyes. It was too early in the morning for this.
Elizabeth's brow wrinkled, as if confused that Darcy was not partaking of the beverage. "I believe you take your tea without sugar or milk, is that not so? I have always thought it a remarkable habit! How stoic a character, to need neither sweetness nor cream to offset the taste!”
Darcy amended his estimate of time. It was not merely too early for this. He could not think of a single moment of the day that would be improved by this situation.
"Enough of this,” he growled. " Elizabeth, we must discuss matters.”
"Oh, but Mr Darcy, surely a gentleman such as yourself need not concern himself with such trivialities as servants’ concerns. Do you not have a housekeeper?”
Darcy’s lips thinned. Just a few minutes ago, she had been unsettled, watching silently as her son was taken beyond her reach. He had kept her off-balance the previous day by leaving her to fume alone about her predicament. By all rights, she should have turned to rumination about her recent actions and attained a degree of regret, perhaps even remorse.
Perhaps a more direct approach was in order. "Do you have nothing to say for yourself?”
“I assure you, whatever you wish me to say shall be said.”
“Let us start with the matter of the little vicar. What have you allowed him to take?"
“Ah! Of course, to a man of your great stature, he must indeed seem little. Tell me sir, how ever did you become so tall? You must have been quite industrious in your youth to attain such a height.”
“You are diverting the conversation. Desist.”
“Absolutely, I shall yield to your celebrated forthrightness, the direct manner in which you conduct business-”
His fraying patience snapped like old twine and the harsh crack of a slap resounded through the room. The force of it turned Elizabeth’s head away from him, placing her reddened cheek on full display.
“Mr Darcy, I appreciate your knowledge of cosmetics but now the rouge on my cheeks is mismatched. Would you care to remedy the matter?” She offered him her other cheek, pale skin shining defiantly in the morning light.
Darcy jolted backwards, rocking his chair slightly on its hind legs. He did not raise a hand to women. Doing so was common and he was a gentleman. Involuntarily, the thought of Elizabeth’s words, so long ago in Hunsford, resurfaced. “Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner…”
He pushed it back down, as he had been in the habit of doing. Elizabeth was his to discipline after all. Sometimes, words were not sufficient to demonstrate consequences.
He considered his options. Elizabeth would certainly alter her manner with all dispatch if Jon was threatened but the idea of harming his child was abhorrent and worse, he was certain she knew it. However, the child was nearly weaned, which opened other avenues of action.
“Perhaps starvation will make you reconsider your impertinence.”
“Ah, I see your preference for slender women has remained intact! I am flattered sir, that you would pay such close attention to my diet so that I may maintain my light and pleasing figure.”
Damn the woman. Was there nothing she could not spin into a farce? If he gave her nothing to work with - no company other than her thoughts - would she become more docile? Surely, she could not derive amusement from a bare chamber, with nothing to consider save the iron bars and reinforced door.
Yes, he could withdraw strategically and conduct a war of attrition against her patience.
“Expect my return,” he said tersely.
That would keep her on edge, uncertain when he would next besiege her.
Elizabeth glanced at the clock. “Has it already been fifteen minutes sir? I fancy the clock has been running fast! Do you truly intend to curtail your call and deprive me of your company so soon-”
He slammed the door behind him. He hoped that the laughter he could hear was forced.