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They would be doing dinner and a movie. The movie was fine, but not great. It was the kind of movie that was unfortunate for a date because Sodachi didn’t have anything to say about it afterwards. That’s why they did dinner second, right? The movie was supposed to help guide conversation during the main part of the date.
Not that Sodachi was much of a film person to begin with. Maybe that was the problem.
Whatever the case, as a result, she found herself feeling awkward over dinner. Thankfully, her date seemed to be picking up the slack. If anything, it left Sodachi feeling afraid that she might come across as disinterested. Not that Yuuki had much to say about the movie either, but he was able to talk about other things. What was Sodachi supposed to talk about? Work? Mathematical proofs?
If she came across as disinterested, Yuuki didn’t seem to mind. The date continued regardless of whether Sodachi had much to add to the conversation.
These were the pitfalls of dating. Sometimes, Sodachi felt that it was more bother than it was worth. In fact, this was one of those times. She was quickly becoming exhausted with this. She didn’t feel any spark. Sodachi was close to becoming convinced that spark wasn’t real to begin with. Nevermind the times she had felt it herself. She must have been mistaken. It seemed that half of all the couples she had ever met had settled for someone without that spark. Her parents certainly had. Would it be all that strange for Sodachi to settle similarly?
However, if her parents were going to be anything to go off of, Sodachi would rather end up alone than with someone she had weak feelings towards. As such, she had the feeling that her time with Yuuki would be brief, to say the least.
By the end of dinner, however, Sodachi wasn’t feeling so bad about the whole thing that she felt the need to go home alone. She was happy to have Yuuki over for a cup of tea. Maybe in the confines of her apartment, they would find something better to talk about.
Or so she thought. She tried a few topics while the electric kettle was boiling, but nothing came of it. Sodachi didn’t have much amusing to talk about in her own life, which wasn’t all that successful. She tried talking about school, but Yuuki didn’t care about that. She tried doing what shallow girls always did and brought up some gossip, but he seemed equally disinterested. In the end, she just blabbed about the tea she was serving. As always, that didn’t help.
Sodachi didn’t care about Yuuki’s topics. Yuuki didn’t care about Sodachi’s topics. They might as well have been talking right past each other. Yuuki must have also known that there wouldn’t be a second date.
Should Sodachi have just gone alone? She found herself considering that. Still, now that she was home, she couldn’t just kick him out. That would be rude. She didn’t have anything against Yuuki. He was a fine person. The fact that there wasn’t any romantic love between them shouldn’t have been a mark against him as a person. Still, Sodachi found herself with an increasing sense of unease.
She didn’t know where that unease was coming from. All she knew is that it was there.
She would have rathered it not be justified.
After their second cup of tea, Yuuki stood up. Sodachi wasn’t sure if he was about to leave. If he was, she would have been relieved.
She wasn’t so lucky. Instead, he gestured with his thumb to the bedroom. “It’s about time, right? If we don’t have anything else to do, we can at least get something out of this date.”
Sodachi cocked her head to one side. She had an inkling of what he meant, but she wasn’t quite sure. As such, she asked, “What do you mean?”
Yuuki seemed surprised that she was asking. “Eh? I mean sex. C’mon, your profile said you’re an adult. Surely you know what that means.”
“I do, but…” Sodachi was beginning to feel awkward. She knew this wouldn’t end well. “I’d rather we didn’t. I’m not someone who likes that kind of thing.”
“What do you mean? Is there something wrong with you?” He stomped over to the couch, where Sodachi was sitting. He grabbed her wrist. Sodachi tried to pull away, but he held strong.
Sodachi glared at him. “Pig. Before you go any further, just know that I have a friend in the apartment next to this one. She has a key, so if I scream, she’ll be here in seconds.”
Sodachi wasn’t actually sure if Hitagi was visiting Koyomi. She wasn’t even sure if Koyomi was home. If things actually came to that, she very well might be in danger. Still, she hoped it would work as a threat.
It did. Yuuki recoiled as if Sodachi was made of acid. He grimaced. “Damn, bitch. It’s not that serious. I wasn’t going to rape you. I just thought you needed convincing.”
“Is there a difference?” Sodachi stood up, then gestured to the door. “Get out. And don’t make me say it twice.”
Yuuki rolled his eyes. He quickly gathered his things, then headed for the door. “What the hell is wrong with you? It’s like you’re trying to make men hate you.”
Sodachi flipped him off. “You’re right. I’ll date a woman next time.” The second Yuuki crossed the threshold out of the apartment, Sodachi slammed the door behind him.
Back against the door, her legs buckled. She slid down until she collapsed. She began taking deep, long breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.
Several minutes later, when she no longer felt her hands shaking with anger, she stood up. She picked up her phone, then texted Hitagi.
“Are you at Araragi’s apartment or your own? If the former, would you mind coming over?”
While she waited for a response, Sodachi poured herself another cup of tea. She hoped that might calm herself down. She picked a book off of her shelf and began reading. It turned out to be another half hour before she got a response.
“I’m with Koyokoyo, but you’ll have to give me a few minutes to prepare myself.”
That was just fine for Sodachi. That gave her time to pour more tea for herself and Hitagi, which would be cooled down once she arrived.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Mm? I didn’t say there is a problem.”
Hitagi laughed. “Sodachi, I can hear in your voice that there was a problem. Date didn’t go well?”
“You can say that…” Sodachi quickly explained what had happened. When she was done, Hitagi looked horrified.
“Ugh, men are such pigs. All they want out of us is sex.”
“That’s what I told him!” Sodachi crossed her arms and humphed. “Is it so wrong that I’m not interested in sex? It shouldn’t provoke such aggression in a man.”
“It shouldn’t, but it does. After all, men are mere beasts of their libido. For example, take Koyokoyo. Even while his childhood friend was about to be violated, he was busy having sex with his girlfriend. The brute!”
Sodachi shot Hitagi a glare. “So that’s why it took you so long to respond.”
Hitagi blushed. “You’ll have to forgive my maiden’s heart.”
“You’re anything but a maiden. You’re as much a pig as any man.” Sodachi groaned. “So are most people, I guess. I guess that I don't care about sex makes me the strange one.”
“Sure, but you’re not alone in that. You’ll just have to find a partner who is the same as you.”
“I guess.” Sodachi sighed. “That feels like finding a needle in a haystack, though.”
“I won’t contest that, but I’m sure that once you find the right person, it will all be worth it. Few people are as lucky as I was to find love the first time. Doubly so, since I was never really a maiden. How many men would have been okay with used goods?”
“...I think you’re referring to some nasty attitudes here. Don’t go believing those yourself, okay?”
“Eh.” Hitagi shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what I believe. The way men would have judged me is objective. I’m lucky that I don’t need to worry about that.” She took a moment to sip her tea. “Going back to you, though. I recommend you seek out other people like you. Look online. There are organizations for this sort of thing. You’ll be able to find like-minded people. Even if you don’t find the love of your life, you can find friends who are sympathetic.”
“Are you saying you’re not sympathetic?”
“I’m saying that I can’t relate. No matter how much I try to empathize with you, we are different in this way. Ultimately, it will always be a guess.”
“When you put it that way, it makes me sound lonely… I guess this explains why I’ve always struggled with dating.”
“Hey, don’t be reductive. It could also be your unpleasant personality.”
“Thanks.” Sodachi rolled her eyes. “Say, what even is the appeal of sex? I’ve tried before, but I got nothing out of it. Eventually, I gave up, but it’s been difficult ever since.”
“Well, I’m not sure how to answer. It depends how graphic you want me to get. If you’d rather I keep it light, then I have a lot less to say.”
“Considering you’re dating Araragi, I’d rather hear as little as possible.”
“Well, in that case…” Hitagi began explaining. With Sodachi’s questions, the conversation turned out to be rather fruitful. With tea, and later coffee, they would be up all night. By the time Sodachi went to sleep, the frustration of earlier was a distant memory.