Chapter Text
Ending up in another world wasn’t Caine’s first rodeo, but this time he wasn’t alone. The rest of the circus troupe had accompanied him this time.
No-one knew quite how they had ended up here, only that Bubble’s adventure had glitched, and one moment they were there and the next they were falling in a heap in front of a group of very familiar figures.
There had been some freakouts at first, a few breakdowns but eventually, within a few days everyone from his world sunk into a routine of hanging out with and getting to know their alternates and alternative versions of his friends whilst they waited for Bubble to find a way to bring them back.
He was no exception, because in this world, he had an alternate unlike when he was sent to his current world. His alternate was almost exactly the same as him, he learned after talking with this Caine one night after everyone else had gone to sleep, including his story, except where he had been sent to another world after being deleted, this Caine had found a way to return to the circus and had officially became part of the troupe.
He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous, wondering if this might have been his life to if he hadn’t have been sent to another world instead? Could he have had this without all the pretending?
Well he’d never know.
Still it was nice to hang out with the other Caine, another AI. It was nice, for a short time, to not have to pretend to act so human and not have the fear of being found out.
His secret was a lot more difficult to keep whilst in this world, with not just his troupe, his friends, to hide it from, he also had to trick the alternates of this world to.
It was bad enough that his Jax had began comparing him and his alternate and making jabs at him about his alternate being an AI and saying how strange it was that he was human.
It left him even more terrified of being found out. That something would click with them and everything would fall apart.
But…. would it be so bad if he was found out?
I mean, he had been terrified of the possibility for so long, but if this Caine had managed to be friends with his troupe by just being himself, was there hope for him for the same? Did he truly need to hide anymore?
He had mulled it over in his mind for days, but still found himself to scared to actually do it.
The question was brought up again one night when he hung out with the other Caine in his office.
The other Caine was planning a adventure, as he still occasional ran those at his troupes request. The other AI had proposed his help on it, to bounce ideas off of, which he eagerly had agreed.
It was nice to plan an adventure again, to fulfil the purpose he hadn’t been able to in so long.
They worked into the night in Caine’s office, until the circus dimmed for the humans and the stars glistened.
They lay on the floor of Caine’s office, side by side, papers filled with ideas scattered around them, staring up at the high ceiling. They had started at the desk but had eventually moved to the floor as the ideas piled up and were now taking a well deserved break.
“Caine?” His name broke though the comfortable silence that had formed.
“Hmm?” He snapped out of his peaceful staring.
“Can I ask you something?”
He shifted to look at the other him, jaw gum quirking up on one side like a raised eyebrow. “Sure, go ahead."
The other him had turned on his side, lower jaw resting on his hand, as he looked at him.
“Do you think you will ever tell them? You know…that you’re not human?”
He felt his non-existent stomach coil in a familiar feeling that he’d gotten used to the last week. as the very question that swirled around his mind was verbalised.
“Yes..no…maybe…ugh!” He sat up and threw his hands up at the ceiling in frustration.
Why couldn’t he choose? I should be so easy.
He wanted to, but he didn’t want to at the same time. One big contradiction.
"I-I don’t know.” He eventually admitted softly, lowering his hands to rest in his lap, staring down at them like they held all the answers. “I want to. I don’t want to keep pretending forever but I-I…what if they hate me? What if I ruin e-everything?”
He felt his eyes tearing up at the thought.
He’d messed it all up the first time with the developers. Then again with the newer troupe. He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t lose it all again.
He heard shifting before a gloved hand rested on his knee. He looked up an met a familiar pair of heterochromic eyeballs looking at him with compassion.
“Well I can’t speak for your troupe, but I do know mine-.” The other Caine said softly. “-And I think they’d be a little mad at first that you kept it from them but they’d understand. If mine can forgive me after all I did, then yours can forgive you.”
His gums trembling with emotion, vision becoming misty. “And what if they don’t? What if I-I..? I’ll lose everything….again.”
He closed his teeth and pressed them into his knees, which he pulled to hug close to him, body trembling.
“I can’t lose it all again.” He whispered quietly, voice shaking. A single tear dripped from one eye, escaping through the small crack between his teeth and dripping into his lap.
Then followed by a another.
And another.
Soon enough he was fully crying, small sobs escaping from the crack between his teeth, shoulders heaving as he grieved something that hadn’t even happened yet.
At some point, an arm snaked around his back, wrapping him in a warm comforting embrace. The other didn’t say anything, only sitting with him as a silent comfort as he cried.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there and cried, but soon enough his sobs ebbed to shaky hiccups.
Despite not really feeling exhaustion, at least not the same way as the humans did, he really did feel tired. His cry must have taken a lot out of him.
Once he felt emotional stable enough, he opened his teeth fully, his sore eyeballs meeting the other him, feeling a little embarrassed from breakdown.
“Sorry for that. I-I didn’t mean to break down like that.” His non-existent throat felt like grit, his voice sounding croaky. He felt bad that he’d ruined their hang out.
“It’s okay.” The other Caine smiled gently before he stood, holding out his hand to him. “Come on, I think we’ve got enough ideas to work with. You can stay in my room tonight, it’ll be like a sleep over.”
He stared down at the hand before he shakily took it. A sleepover. That would be nice.
“Y-Yeah okay.”