Work Text:
Pencil was back at the EXIT. Back at that dreadful classroom again. Same rough and uncomfortable uniform they were forced to wear, same blue walls that Pencil had stared at rather than paying attention at Four's lecture, same desks they sat in and did Four's atrocious worksheets and tests that drove them all mad. The EXIT was either silent, with the only noise being Four's voice echoing through the walls, loud full of Firey Jr.'s bickering, 8 Ball's complaining, and Pencil and Match's gossiping from the floor while Bracelety drew pictures of Ice Cube with the few little crayons that she had, or full of screams and cries from being tortured from only getting one answer wrong on the tests that Four gave them.
Only this time, the only voice in the room was Pencil's.
Screaming.
She banged and banged on the locked door, the same one that Liy found that got them all out of there. It didn't have any of the barricades it had from before, but it still couldn't open.
“LET ME GO! LET ME GO! GET ME OUT OF HERE! SOMEBODY, PLEASE! PLEASE!!”
She sobbed loudly, tears streaming down her face as she kept on banging. She tried everything, kicking the door, throwing a chair at the door, hitting the door, but nothing worked. She was banging on the door so hard it caused dark bruises and deep cuts to form on her hand that bled out blue.
A figure towered behind her, the silhouette of a Four, making Pencil finally turn her gaze away from the door. Her eyes immediately widened with fear when she saw who it was: Four. That bastard. That damn pathetic little bitch that locked her in this cell for years. The algebralien looked at her, hands behind his back, with that intense stare full of fury.
Pencil legs buckled as she backed away from him, back to the door. She stared at him back with fear, yet anger in her eyes, the tears never stopping.
“How pathetic.”
Four snarled, his gaze never leaving. “Trying to get out, like an animal trapped in its cage. And I thought you were strong, Pencil Graphite.”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Pencil yelled back. “YOU DON’T GET TO TRAP ME IN HERE AGAIN! NOT AFTER ALL THE STUFF YOU DID TO ME, O-OR TO BRACELETY, OR TO MATCH-OR TO EVERYBODY!!”
“You nearly destroyed the whole UNIVERSE, PENCIL! FOR YOUR OWN SELLFISHNESS!!”
Book’s voice filled the room suddenly, the same talk she gave to Pencil in TPOT 17. Pencil desperately searched the room to try to find Book, maybe try to call out for her to help her out of this mess somehow, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“You’re hopeless, Pencil.” Four snapped, taking a step closer to her. “Completely, and utterly hopeless. A terrible person. A horrible friend. A horrible mother. You don’t deserve your freedom.”
“STOP!!” Pencil pleaded, her voice hoarse from screaming as her hands shook frantically. Her palms were pushed to the cold metal of the door.
“PLEASE-JUST STOP! STOP!!”
No matter how much she pleaded, it didn’t do anything to change Four's actions. He lifted up his hand towards her, ready to zap.
“Goodbye, Pencil.”
“Nobody would care if you were gone anyway.”
A flash of light filled the room.
“GAH-!”
Pencil woke up in a cold sweat, shooting up from her spot.
She frantically searched her surroundings, to try to see if she was still in the EXIT, but the only thing she could see was darkness and the faint outline of her lamp and her desk at the corner of the bedroom. She couldn't hear Four's voice, but rather just the snores of Match, her wife, sleeping beside her soundly in their bed as she took most of the blanket to herself.
Just another nightmare.
Another dumb, stupid nightmare.
She’s been getting a lot of nightmares recently, about so many different things. Her old alliance, the EXIT, One..but they all had one thing in common. They all had something to do with her past. Her nightmares were never about clowns or about any stupid childish stuff, they were all based on something she did or went through. Even with it far behind, she could never get rid of her past haunting her. No matter how much she tried.
Now, she would do anything to get those childish nightmares back.
She sighed wearily, rubbing her forehead, already feeling the migraine that was soon to come. One peaceful night, she thought. One peaceful night for once.
She laid back in bed, rolling to her side. She looked at the clock that blurred with red numbers.
2:11 AM
She stared at it for about a minute, watching the 11 turn into 12, before shutting her eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep.
Just when she thought she was finally starting to drift off to unconscious..
Sniff…Sniff…
Quiet, faint sobs and sniffles came from down the hallway, filling the silence. Pencil’s eyes slowly opened again, looking towards the door that led in the hall.
After a little bit of thinking of whether to stay in bed or not, with a slight groan, she slowly rolled out of bed and put on her slippers and robe. She could just go in her pink tank top and shorts, but even though it was the hottest week of the month, it still felt cold at night. She walked towards the door and into the hallway where the sobs were coming from.
The sobs came from behind Bracelety’s door. Leafy said that her daughter was having nightmares way more often while Leafy was taking care of her when TPOT was going on. Bracelety was also quieter than usual now, not going on her large rants about Ice Cube that much anymore. She started dissociating more, not responding to her name, and sometimes could be seen just staring into space. It was a bit concerning.
When Pencil got to Bracelety’s door, she hesitated for a moment, before turning the handle and opening it. “B.B..?” She called out, her voice a mix of concern and sleepiness. “You okay?”
Bracelety’s room was still the same as it was. It was filled with Ice Cube posters that were hung on the white walls that she made all by herself, a big pile of plushies were in the corner of her room right next to her drawer, the same blue carpet Pencil was stepping on with all the abandoned crayons and beads on the floor, The only thing that was different was that it was pitch black, with only the moonlight and her nightlight sitting on the windowsill filling in the darkness. On the bed, there was a tiny figure with a blanket draped over her. Bracelety. Still in her light blue pyjamas. Her black curls all a mess. Sobbing harshly and clutching her head out of fear. She was shaking frantically, not noticing Pencil right in front of her.
“Bracelety?” Pencil called out again, her face filled with worry as she took a step forward. Pencil’s voice finally made Bracelety look up, her eyes widening when she saw her.
She removed the blanket off herself and jumped out of bed to rush to her mother.
“MOMMA!!”
Bracelety hugged Pencil’s legs tightly, burying her face into her left leg as she cried loudly. She tried to speak, but the only sounds she could make out were incoherent babbles and wails.
“Hey-hey…”
Pencil wrapped her arms around Bracelety, rubbing her thumb against her shoulders soothingly. She hushed her gently, trying to get her to calm her sobs.
She wasn’t really good at comfort. At all. It was usually Match who would help her calm down. She learned a thing or two of becoming a little more softer when she was taking care of Pen and Marker during her childhood, since her mother barely gave any of them the care that they needed. She also learned how to become more patient when she and Match had Bracelety. Other than that, and now having horrible social skills from isolating herself for so long, comforting was definitely not one of her strong skills.
But she’ll try her best for Bracelety.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Pencil asked, her tone soft for once in her life. Bracelety nodded and let out a tiny whimper.
Pencil guided her to her bed and helped Bracelety sit down on it, kneeling down to rest a hand on her knee. “What’s going on?”
It took a while for her to respond, frantically wiping her tears away before looking her mother in the eyes, her eyes still wide and her lip quivering, her voice still shaky as ever as she spoke fast.
“I had a nightmare…” Bracelety started, her voice wobbly. “I-I was in the EXIT again where you and-and David and me were in the hallway-and then Four started chasing us and h-he takes David and he rips his head off! A-and then David was on the floor and there was blue liquid everywhere and we started running…”
“Oh, B.B…”
“A-and then Four takes you and then rips your head off too! I tried to get you away from Four b-but you couldn’t move! And then Four grabs me and he looked mad at me and then-and-and-”
It was at that moment where Bracelety erupted into full, terrified sobs, clutching her head again out of fear.
Pencil quickly stood up so she could lift up Bracelety from the bed and into her arms. She propped up her daughter’s head so she could lean against her shoulder, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other rubbing her back gently.
“Shh…my love..my love…” She cooed softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s all okay now..you’re okay..we’re okay….”
Bracelety clutched the arms that were around her as she weeped in Pencil’s arms, hiding her face into her shoulder.
“I-I’m scared, momma! I don’t wanna go back to the EXIT! I don't, I don't!”
“Shhh…I know, sweetheart..God do I know….”
Pencil rocked her slowly, now tears spilling down her face.
Pencil wasn't the one to feel bad for someone. It was always a struggle for her to find empathy for a person. Every time, when a person was going through a hard time, or crying...she didn't feel anything. She couldn't. She didn't want to feel empty. She never did. And still, even for the ones she cared about the most-she loved the most-she still had that little emptiness in her heart.
But, for a first time in a while...her heart ached. Of seeing her daughter, the one she watched grow up, the one she saw go through the same pain as her, facing such misery at this age, in tears of fear like this? It hurt. It hurt so, so badly. Most of the time, she would focus on herself and her own pain-telling people only how she went through, and not taking the time to focus on the other victims on the EXIT. And now, she finally realized how much it hurt others, and not just her.
She felt like a terrible mother. She WAS a terrible mother-not noticing how much her daughter was struggling and only focusing on herself. How young she was-she was THREE for god's sake when she first failed a test, that was made for adults, and yet Four still punished her. Zap her and gave that scar that she was now insecure of. She went through things a child should have never have faced. After all those years of being a mother, now she decides to feel bad?
Four was right. She was horrible mother. Bracelety should've left her by now. She should've chose to stay with Leafy-who's way more caring then her. She should've hated her by now. She should've despised her by now.
And yet..
She still loves her.
After everything.
She still loves her.
Bracelety's crying got worse, her tears now making a wet spot on Pencil's robe. She clutched her robe so hard her knuckles turned white.
Without really thinking, Pencil started to sing. She hasn’t sang since she was in 8th grade in choir. She never really liked singing at all, mainly because she was insecure of her voice. But, she needed to find some way for Bracelety to calm down.
“I’m lying on the moon…”
“My dear, I’ll be there soon.”
“It’s a quiet and starry..place…”
“Time’s we’re swallowed up,”
“In space we’re here a million miles away…"
It was a song that she knew Bracelety loved, especially when she was just a little toddler. Match would usually sing it to her, and Bracelety would giggle her little face off. It was her go-to lullaby that she wanted to hear every night. And now, it was used to help her go through her pain.
It took Bracelety a while for her to calm down entirely, but her sobs were slowly turning into soft sniffles. She was still very shaky and her grip on her mother was still super tight.
Pencil kept on singing. She wasn’t going to stop singing until Bracelety had officially calmed down.
“There’s things I wish I knew….”
“There’s no thing I’d keep from you…”
“It’s a dark…and shiny..place..”
“But with you, my dear,”
“I’m safe and we’re a million miles away…”
Despite how much Pencil’s voice had changed throughout the years,
It was still as soft as ever every time she sang.
After a while, soft snores filled the room along with the gentle singing.
Pencil paused and looked down to see a finally sleeping Bracelety rested against her shoulder, still had that tight grip on her robe, but her sobs finally had calmed down into tiny breaths.
Carefully, Pencil slowly peeled Bracelety off from her and gently laid her down onto her bed. She made sure her head was comfortable against her pillow as she pulled the covers up to her chin and tucked a soft pastel yellow star pillow into her arms so Bracelety could have something to hold on in her sleep.
She knelt down to the floor next to the bed, watching her daughter’s sleeping face. She reached out to brush a curl away from her face, her hand now just stroking her hair gently. She didn’t stop her singing just because she was now asleep although, her voice was barely above a whisper so she wouldn’t wake Bracelety up.
“We’re lying on the moon..”
“It’s a perfect afternoon…”
“Your shadow follows me..all day….”
“Making sure..that I’m..”
…
She leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“..Okay and we’re a million miles away…”