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Buck had been struggling to get good sleep since Eddie left for Texas and finally came back. Every night he would dream back to that day, Eddie telling him that he matters to him, but leaving anyway. Like a knife to his heart, but he still didn't know why he felt that way. Every time in that dream, Eddie never looked back, he never waved goodbye, and he always left for good, never to come back, leaving Buck all on his own.
Its now a few years later and Buck and Eddie just finished the competition in Nashville and go to the bar with the firefighters from the 113. The night is almost over and Buck is getting flirted with by Dixie and excepts a drink invitation from her, leaving Eddie to go back to the hotel by himself. After about thirty minutes, Buck ended up leaving to go back to the hotel as he was tired. When he got back, Eddie was showering, so Buck decided to call Maddie. He stepped outside of the hotel room and down the hall to some chairs.
"Buck? Everything okay?"
Maddie asks, voice laced with sleepiness.
"Yeah everything is great! Did I wake you up?" Buck asked.
"Yeah, but that's fine. What's going on?"
"Oh I'm sorry, go back to bed, I only called to talk to someone while waiting for Eddie to get done with the shower." Buck replied, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
"Oh? That's fine, I'm okay to talk if you wanna talk to someone. But I get to choose the topic." Maddie said, a smile on her lips.
"Uh...okay Mads."
"Awesome, okay hmm..." Maddie took a moment before speaking again. "What's it been like living in the same room as your best friend, aka your crush?"
Buck sighed. "Maddie, I told you, I'm not in love with Eddie, I don't know why you think that, we're just close friends, that's it."
"Come on Buck, do you really think that a best friend would take over their friend's house while they went to another state? That's not something a best friend would do. It wouldn't be so crazy."
Buck laughed in response. "I'm gonna go Maddie, go back to sleep, love you." With that Buck hung up without letting Maddie reply. He sighed, its true, usually a best friend wouldn't give up where he lives to help his best friend out and take over the lease, but he did. He was too scared to admit it, but he knew he did indeed fall for his best friend, but if he admitted that, then would their friendship end? Would Eddie leave again like he does in his dreams. Buck doesn't want to know, so he pushes the feelings back, pushes them down to make sure he doesn't lose his best friend. 'Eddie is straight' he tells himself, how could a straight man love his best friend who is also a guy. Buck shook his head, and closed his eyes.
"Buck why are you sleeping in this chair?" The voice woke Buck up, startled, his vision a bit blurry until it settled and he saw Eddie in front of him. Eddie had left their room to go down to the front desk and ask for more towels for their room as he wanted him and Buck to go to the pool in the morning before going home, but then he saw Buck sleeping in a chair in the hallway. "I thought you were still at the bar with Dixie?"
"Oh hey Eddie. Sorry I came back because I was tired and wanted to shower, but when I got to the room I heard you in the shower so I came out here to call Maddie, guess I fell asleep." Buck said, hauling himself out of the chair he had settled in. The two walk back to the room in silence, their shoulders brushing every few seconds. Once in the room Eddie tells Buck that he is going to go to bed as he is exhausted. Buck nods and heads for the shower, then goes to bed himself.
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At about 3am, Eddie is awoken by a voice mumbling. After giving himself a moment to wake up he sees Buck curled into a ball in his separate bed, body shaking, and mumbling something. Eddie gets out of his bed and sits on Bucks, but before he tries to wake Buck up he here a sentence that makes his body freeze. 'Please Eddie, don't leave, I need you'. In his frozen state, Eddie's eyes make their way to Buck's face which he can see is stained with tears. Buck is having a nightmare, and Eddie knows its about him, but what exactly is happening in the dream to make Buck react like this. Eddie decides not to wake Buck up but instead, moves to the other side of the bed, sitting on it and grabbing one of Buck's hands. "I'm not going anywhere Buck", Eddie says before closing his eyes, and he feels Buck's body uncurl and go still.
By morning Eddie had vanished from the hotel room, leaving Buck to wake up alone. He was a bit confused and tried to call Eddie, but there was no reply. An hour after he woke up, Eddie was back, something in his arms, but Buck couldn't get a good look at it. "Hey Eds."
"Hey Buck, how did you sleep?" Eddie asked, knowing damn well that it probably wasn't anywhere near okay.
"It was good, slept like a baby." Buck lied, a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You know, next time you can leave a note or text me if you're going to run off before a flight we have to catch."
"I'm glad to hear that." Eddie said, but narrowed his eyes at Buck with suspicion in his eyes. "My bad, I just wanted to grab something for Chris at a store before we go home."
"Wow, and you weren't going to ask for my opinion, I feel hurt." Buck said, putting on a pouty face.
"Next time I'll bring you along. Now are you all packed? Flight leaves in two hours, we have to get to the airport." Eddie said, grabbing his already packed bag. Buck assured Eddie everything of his was packed, so the two left for the airport. Once at the airport they learned that their flight had been delayed, but for how long, they didn't know. Eddie called Hen and told her about their predicament, and told her they'd do their best to get back home for her birthday, but they couldn't make any promises. Buck at some point ran off, and came back with keys in his hand, insisting they try and drive home, but Eddie isn't quite sure. But after Buck had convinced him, they left for home.
After over 18 hours of driving Buck and Eddie stopped in El Paso to visit Eddie's family since it was on the way, they still had enough time to get home for Hen's birthday, so they decided it was okay. Once in El Paso, Buck and Eddie went out to dinner with Eddie's sister who openly asked if the two best friends were a couple, which they denied, faces red with embarrassment. After that, the two ended up staying the night at Eddie's sisters house, with a planned early start to their driving home in the morning. Luck have it, Eddie's sister only had one spare bed, which was a king, so the two had to share a bed. Eddie and Buck had shared a bed multiple times before due to Buck not wanting to drive home some nights when at Eddies, or visa versa.
In the morning Eddie woke up to Buck being wrapped around him, arms around Eddie's waist, and face snuggled right in between Eddie's shoulder blade. He thought about waking Buck up, but decided against it because he thought Buck looked absolutely adorable like this. But moments later Eddie removed himself from the hold Buck had on him. He couldn't let himself enjoy it, he knew it was wrong, even though he had realized he was gay when he left for El Paso for Chris, he couldn't imagine that Buck could like him the way he did. It wasn't fair to Buck to leave them in that position, so Eddie went to the kitchen to make a coffee, as they agreed he'd be the first driver.
"Buenos Dias Eddie, how did you sleep?" Eddie's sister asked, walking into the kitchen and sitting at the island.
Eddie flinched a bit started but then turned to his sister. "It was good, very comfy bed."
"Comfy because of the mattress or comfy because of your friend?" She asked, raising in eyebrow.
Eddie got flustered and gave a sharp response. "Ya te dijimos que solo somos amigos, ¿por qué sigues insistiendo?"
"Eddie its a joke, calm down." She paused for a moment. "Though with how you responded, estoy casi seguro de que te gusta tu amigo. But maybe I'm reading it wrong." Eddie shrugged as a response, and went back to finishing his coffee.
An hour or two later Buck had woken up and the two were ready to hit the road again. They thanked Eddie's sister for the hospitality and went on their way, Eddie driving. But Buck noticed quickly that they weren't on the right road to get across Texas.
"Uh Ed's I think you took a wrong turn, we were supposed to turn left at that light, not right." Buck said, an eyebrow slightly raised.
"Before we go I want to show you something." Eddie replied, his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. Buck noticed and nodded, not asking anymore questions. After Eddie's short conversation with his sister that morning, he decided he needed to tell Buck how he felt, especially after hearing what Buck said when he was asleep. Eddie didn't think Buck reciprocated the feelings but he needed him to know he was never leaving again, never.
It took maybe twenty more minutes before they arrived where Eddie wanted them to be. The two got out of the car and walked inside a pizza parlor, ordering a pizza.
"Wow Ed's, this place is amazing, you sure had a tressure of a pizza spot growing up." Buck said, gulfing down his third slice of pizza.
Eddie chuckled in response, then looked down at his fidgeting hands in his lap.
"Is something wrong Eddie?" Buck asked, noticing the silence.
"Buck...I wanted to talk to you about something." He paused then continued after Buck nodded, his full attention on Eddie. "We've been through so much together" he started, "so many times where one of us almost died. I was so scared after the lightning bolt, the time the ladder truck fell on you, I was scared when I left for Texas. I didn't know if Chris would ever want to go back, but he finally did, so I got to come back to you. I meant it Buck, when I said you matter to me. Next to Christopher, no one means more to me. And I need you to know, I don't plan on leaving again, never." Eddie finished, looking down at his hands again until he heard Buck start to talk.
"Eddie." Buck wanted to say something else, but the look Eddie gave him, made everything in him melt. He loved the man in front of him, more then he probably loved anyone. He didn't know what to say.
Hearing no more words, and just seeing Buck's expression, Eddie decided to speak again. "You were having a nightmare, two nights ago, you looked scared, and you said something I haven't been able to get out of my head. Buck I need you to know that you don't need to fear me leaving again, I left because I had to, not because I wanted to." Eddie paused, taking a deep breath. "Buck I can't ever leave again, going to Texas made me realize just how much you mean to me, just how much I want you with me all the time. Buck, I hope you know, I love you." Eddie's voice hitched on the last sentence, his eyes searching Buck's for a response. A moment of silence sat between them before Buck spoke.
"Eddie I...are you sure? I- you- you're straight." Buck chocked out.
"Of course I'm sure." He paused. "Well obviously not straight Buck." Eddie laughed, a loving look in his eyes. Buck felt his heart rate sky rocket, the man he loved just confessed to him, Eddie loved him back. Buck immediately stands up, walking to Eddie's side of the booth and grabbing Eddie's arm.
"Car. Now." He demanded. Eddie had a shocked look in his eyes but followed Buck to the car, following Buck into the back. Once the doors shut behind them, Buck kissed Eddie, soft at first, but more desperate after a few moments, Eddie responding to the kiss with a hum and kissing back. They stayed like that for as long as they could until they need to pull away to take a breath. "Gosh Eddie, I love you so much".
"Yo también te amo, cariño, yo también te amo."