Chapter Text
The summer of 2005 blurred into highways.
Tours had a way of making strangers familiar without ever really introducing them. Patrick had seen the guys from the band “My Chemical Romance” enough times that their faces just blended in with the scenery.
Especially Mikey Way.
Not because Mikey was loud.. it was quite the opposite. Patrick almost never heard him speak unless someone asked him a question directly. He lingered at the edge of conversations.. honestly his were eyes wandering somewhere far beyond the venue walls.
Yet somehow that made Patrick notice him even more.
Which was... weird.
Really weird.
Patrick had always considered himself straight.
He'd spent years thinking about girls, writing songs inspired by girls, growing up believing that's simply how his life worked. The idea of being attracted to another guy never seriously crossed his mind. It felt impossible to fit into the person he'd always imagined himself becoming. He'd always tried to be respectful, thoughtful.. someone who admired women instead of treating them like trophies.. a feminist.
So why..
Why did seeing Mikey across a venue make something warm settle in his stomach?
Why did he keep looking?
He couldn't explain it.
Maybe it wasn't attraction.
Maybe he just admired him.
Maybe it was curiosity.
Maybe it was nothing.
Just... a tiny crush.
One that would disappear after tour ended.
Because really, what else could it be?
They barely knew each other.
Mikey probably only knew him as "the singer from Fall Out Boy."
That thought should've been comforting.
Instead, it left a strange ache in Patrick's chest.
—
That morning had almost been different.
Patrick had caught Mikey outside one of the buses while everyone else wandered around searching for coffee.
"Hey."
Mikey glanced up.
"...Hey."
Patrick smiled.
"So... uh..."
Great start.
He searched desperately for something intelligent to say.
"You guys played really well last night."
Mikey gave the smallest smile.
"Thanks."
Patrick laughed softly at nothing in particular, rubbing the back of his neck.
"You too."
"...Thanks."
Silence.
Patrick opened his mouth.
Closed it again.
Then laughed quietly, awkwardly.
"Well..."
"...Yeah."
Mikey nodded once.
Another tiny smile.
Then someone called his name from behind the trailers, and Mikey lifted a hand in a small wave before disappearing around the corner.
That was it.
That was the conversation.
Patrick replayed it for the next three hours anyway.
—
Patrick noticed other things after that.
Things like.. Pete seemed to end up beside Mikey a lot.
Talking.
Laughing.
Trading hoodies like they forgot which one belonged to who.. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder during downtime.
It wasn't unusual.
Pete could become friends with practically anyone.
Patrick knew that better than most.
Still...
Every time he spotted them together.
His stomach twisted.
No.
That's fine.
They're friends.
Pete's everyone's friend.
It's fine.
So why did it feel like someone quietly reached into his chest and squeezed?
He hated that feeling.
He hated it even more because he couldn't tell whether it was jealousy... or envy.
Maybe Pete liked Mikey, people online certainly thought so too.. Patrick had stumbled across enough posts to know fans noticed it too.
And if Pete did...
Well.
Pete deserved to be happy.
Mikey deserved to be happy.
Patrick would simply...
Watch.
From the sidelines.
That was easier.. safer and honestly? Pete was magnetic. Funny. Confident. The kind of person people naturally gravitated toward and liked.
Patrick?
He was just...
Patrick.
Sometimes he wondered if anyone really saw him outside of Fall Out Boy.
Outside the microphone.
Outside the band.
Outside the songs.
.. Is he even worth of loving if he wasn't famous?
—
Late that night, unable to sleep, Patrick found himself scrolling through online journals instead.
He shouldn't have.
He knew he shouldn't.
But curiosity always won.
Pete had updated again... Another entry about the summer.. Another collection of scattered thoughts turned into poetry.
Patrick's eyes caught one sentence and stopped.
"...Im hanging on a bridge with my friend mikey way from my chem..."
Mikey.
Patrick read the paragraph once.
Then again.
Then a third time.
He pressed his lips together until they hurt.
The comments from it weren't helping.
People were already talking about pairing them together. Already deciding what the story was.. about the chemistry.. about the situation.. about mikey.
Patrick shut the laptop with a quiet click.
He stared at the ceiling of the bus instead.
What if...
No.
Don't.
What if Pete really—
Stop.
He rolled onto his side, pulling the blanket over his shoulder.
It was ridiculous.
Nothing had happened.
Nothing ever would.
Or atleast Patrick hoped.
Sleep eventually came anyway, thoygh his thoughts chased him long after his eyes closed.
—
Miles away, in another bus lit only by a small reading lamp, Mikey sat cross-legged on his bunk with a notebook resting unopened beside him.
Pete was...
Pete.
Alright.
Loud.
Impossible to ignore.
Someone who made conversations feel.. good?
Someone who'd shared hoodies with him without thinking twice.
Written about him.
Included him in little bits of pieces of his life.
Mikey reallyy appreciated him.
He really did.
But every time Pete smiled..
His eyes wandered somewhere else.
To Patrick.
Kind of always Patrick... Even if nobody knew that except himself, Patrick was the singer who laughed nervously during conversations, Who seemed like he had TONS of thoughts fighting to leave his mouth. Who looked away first whenever their eyes met.. Patrick was far from shy however.. just a little insecure.. and that's fine but
Mikey wasn't proud of it.
Pete didn't deserve mixed signals if he'd interpreted any of their friendship differently.
That wasn't fair.
Maybe that made Mikey selfish... Maybe it made him a bad person?
Mikey doesn't wanna deal with this shit.
He sighed quietly.
But the memory of that awkward conversation outside the buses surfaced again.
Patrick's nervous laugh.
The way he'd tried so hard to keep talking...
.. But gosh it was pretty awkward.
... However.. the warmth in his smile kind of made Mikey wished he'd stayed a little longer.
Maybe next time... He'd be the one to keep the conversation going.