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“That girl over there is totally staring at us,” Prompto whispered to the rest of the group.
They had chosen to take a holiday of sorts during the journey to Altissia in Lestallum before heading out again in the morning; currently, they were sitting in a quaint, colourful little café tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the main streets, famed for its selection of traditional beverages.
“Maybe you’re overreacting, Prompto,” said Noctis as he raised his coffee to his lips. “I mean, you did spend most of the night awake after watching that horror movie. You could just be imagining things.”
“Not true at all, Noct! I wasn’t scared one bit!”
Noctis rolled his eyes at this. “Then explain to me why I had to share my bed with you.”
“T-that was-“
“It was because you were convinced that zombies would take you away in the middle of the night, so you begged to stay with me because I could, and I quote ‘warp you out of harm’s way’.”
Gladiolus snorted a laugh. “Yep sorry, Blondie, but I totally believe Noct on this one.”
“Nobody asked for your opinion here!” Prompto huffed, slightly embarrassed by the fact that he couldn’t handle a stupid horror movie. It was just really convincing, okay?!
“We are in a public area, gentlemen,” Ignis reminded the group, not bothering to look up from his precious newspaper. “Please have some decorum, and keep your voices down. People are beginning to stare.”
“I told you guys that girl was staring at us!” Prompto said, his voice raised as loud as he dared without being overheard by the stranger. The quartet turned to eye the girl seated all by herself merely two tables away from them as discreetly as possible. She seemed harmless enough.
She was a tourist if her clothes were anything to go by: a plain white t-shirt, a pair of shorts and sneakers, and a camera hanging around her neck. She was actually rather pretty; she had long golden locks which tumbled down past her shoulders from underneath a large white sunhat, painted red lips, and large blue eyes which darted back and forth between the group and her mojito on the table. In a way, she reminded them of Luna, though you would never confuse the two.
“Well, I highly doubt she’s working for the Empire,” Ignis assessed removing his gaze from the girl, prompting the others to do the same, “so we’re not in any danger.”
Prompto gasped audibly as he leapt up from his chair, eyes shining bright with hope. “Do you guys know what this means? She’s totally checking us out!”
“You really oughtn’t jump to such hasty conclusions, Prompto,” the bespectacled man chided, encouraging him to sit back down. “Let’s just get drop the subject, and continue with our previous conversation.”
“Actually, I agree with Chocobo Head here, Iggy,” Gladiolus cut in. “What other explanation is there? And besides,” he flexed his muscles proudly, “what woman could possibly resist taking in this view?”
“No way, she’s totally checking me out,” the gunner asserted. “Girls love my cute looks, you’re just a wall of muscle.”
Gladiolus quirked one eyebrow at this, smirking widely. “And that’s a bad thing now, Mr Twigs-for-arms?”
“This is muscle, I tell you! Muscle!”
Ignis scoffed in mild distaste before shaking his head at the pair. Sometimes he wondered why he was friends with these people in the first place. “You’re both such terrible influences on His Highness.”
“Ah, do you think she could be checking Noct out?”
The three quickly focused their attention on the young prince who’s cheeks bore a light dusting of rouge at his best friend’s suggestion. He was really uncomfortable with where the conversation had turned. He was already nervous enough about meeting Luna again, and she was a close friend and confidante, so the idea of a total stranger checking him out, though flattering, was enough to send him into a panic. Sensing this Gladiolus said, “Nah I highly doubt it, nobody can see anything past his messy hair. Besides, we’d politely inform her that our boy’s got a fiancée.”
“So it’s between me and you then,” Prompto confirmed, nodding profusely.
“Look, I hate to break it to you, kid, but there’s no comparison between us.”
“What? Get over yourself!”
“First off, I’m older than you and the ladies prefer older men – that’s a scientific fact right there, no denying it. I’m much smarter than you as well, Mr ‘A kilogram of steel weighs more than a kilogram of feathers’-“
“Steel is heavier than feathers!”
“They’re both a kilogram, they weigh the same.”
“It still doesn’t make sense!”
“Then there’s the physical differences,” Gladiolus continued, choosing ignore the blond. “I’m way taller than you’ll ever be, I’ve got these awesome muscles that the ladies can’t keep their hands off of-“
“Not all girls like those things!”
“Says the guy who can barely ever get anywhere with one.”
“I’ve been with loads of girls! Tons!”
“Oh really? Name one.”
“… Um-“
“Sounds like you and ‘Um’ had a really memorable evening.”
Prompto spluttered indignantly. “Just ask Noct! He’ll tell you about all the girls I dated!”
“I’d really prefer to not get involved in this guys,” was the prince’s response. In truth, he simply wanted to avoid saying anything that would end up further embarrassing his best friend. Like the fact that the longest amount of time Prompto had ever talked with a woman was about two minutes. And that was because he had been asking for directions. From a seventy-four year old.
“That’s it!” the gunner cried as he shot up from his seat. “I’m just gonna head over and ask her myself!” And with that, he immediately left to approach the blonde girl despite his friends’ desperate pleas begging him to reconsider.
“Hi, excuse me,” he began in the friendliest tone possible as he reached her table, totally aware that Noctis and Gladiolus were hanging on his every word, listening with rapt attention. “Uh, so my friends and I noticed you were looking at us, so I just wanted to know which one of us were you checking out.” All right, so that wasn’t exactly the most subtle way to phrase it in hindsight, Prompto noted to himself, but at least he got the message across, and dammit he had to know!
The girl looked up at him before smiling and pointed towards the table. “Him,” was all she said.
Prompto followed her finger.
As did Gladiolus.
As did Noctis.
Which just left Ignis.
“What?!”
“Him?”
“WHY?!”
However, as the three examined Ignis closely they could clearly understand why he had been chosen. His posture was erect and confident, one leg crossed over the other, as he paid them no heed (not realising that he was the source of half of the café’s attention) and simply continued reading his newspaper, intermittently taking small sips of his Ebony. His face was handsome and well-kept, exuberating an aura of great charisma and charm, as well as undeniable intelligence. He was posh and prim and proper – a true gentleman, and everything a woman could ever want in a man.
It suddenly dawned upon his friends that they’d been travelling with a total bombshell all this time. And they had all been blind to it.
He folded up his newspaper, having finished reading its contents, and looked up to see his friend’s shocked faces gawking at him. “… Is everything all right?” he asked, his (handsome) features contorted (handsomely) into a (handsome) confused expression.
“… She was checking you out,” Gladiolus mumbled miserably, his ego now sorely bruised.
The bespectacled man raised an eyebrow at this before he turned to face the girl. “I see…” He smirked somewhat at the revelation before he rose (somewhat majestically, the group assessed) and set out to take his revenge on his friends for all their idiocy. “I suppose,” he began in the most innocent tone he could muster as he strided confidently towards her, “that the most gentlemanly course of action would be to take this young lady out for a tour of the town then.”
“WHAT?”
“Would you care to join me for dinner this evening, my lady? There is an excellent restaurant not too far away.”
The girl stared back in shock, not quite believing her luck, before she quickly gathered herself and smiled sweetly at him. “I’d really like that,” she replied as she took his outstretched hand and pulled herself up.
Ignis looked over to his (still gawking) friends. “I trust that you can handle making yourselves dinner for this one night?”
“Pfft, what do you take us for?” Gladiolus snorted, crossing his arms.
“Yeah, us bros stick together,” continued Prompto snidely as slung an arm around Noctis’ shoulders.
“We’ve got everything under control,” Noctis declared while nodding. It’s not like they depended on Ignis for everything. They weren’t idiots.
How hard could it be to manage on their own for one night?
“Where’s the coffee?!” shouted Gladiolus as he frantically searched through every cupboard, knocking every pot and pan over in the already ransacked kitchenette.
“Why isn’t the kettle working?!” Prompto yelled as he started violently hitting it with his palms as well as the rest of the crockery boiling on the stove before he screeched in pain, having burnt his hands.
“Oh God it’s on FIRE!” Noctis screamed as he pulled the tray filled with a flaming something out of the oven as he uselessly flapped his forearms and jumped up and down in an attempt to fan the flames. Gladiolus quickly fetched the jug of water from the table and splashed it over tray, dousing the flames successfully as well as completely soaking Noctis in the process.
“I JUST WANTED MY COFFEE!” cried Noctis as he wrapped his arms around the two, tears collecting in their eyes. “I just wanted my coffee!” he wailed as they all sobbed in frustration (and pain) at their failed attempt.
They depended on Ignis for everything.
They were idiots.
It was officially impossible to manage on their own for one night.