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"You look so stupid with the marker on your face." Dan said laughing, seeing Phil's indignant face, because yes, he also had a marker on his face.
Dan knew exactly what he was getting into when he decided to take a train, but he didn't expect his mental plans to be so different. When you're a gay teenager with your first boyfriend in a place on the other side of the country, you ask yourself two things: "Is this okay?" and second, "How much longer can I stay here?" because this is totally outside his little comfort zone.
Dan looked at Phil again; it turned out Phil had been looking at him for some time.
It's strange. Too strange.
Dan spent early mornings, as Phil went to sleep, wondering if this was going to last, if this was just a mind game to train him to become some kind of supreme gay man, or some bullshit like that, or if all those emotions were truly love. Because Dan had liked several people. Liking someone is different from falling in love. Dan had never been in love, until now.
"We should give your cat whiskers a better once-over," Phil said, getting up and going to get the Sharpie that was on the table.
The camera was still recording; Dan looked at himself on the camera, then looked up, watching Phil return and sitting down next to him.
Phil gently and tenderly grasped his chin, carefully recoloring his whiskers; neither of them laughed or made any noise, they simply maintained a certain eye contact, as if their pupils were actually going to touch.
And Dan felt a tiny, fleeting moment, watching Phil put away the Sharpie. Because he had moved away after the kiss.
Dan laughed, because this was too much and his boyfriend had kissed him for the first time after spending months seeing each other through a low-quality camera, and even more so with markers on their faces. This was the stupidest thing he'd done in years.
"Cut this out."
"Maybe I'll leave it in the video. I don't know, that way we get paid better."
"Idiot, nobody's been paying you." And Dan moved closer, kissing him and almost throwing himself on top of him.
He cupped Phil's cheeks to deepen the kiss, relaxing his hands and lowering them to his chest. Phil wrapped his arms around his waist, that's how he remained in his lap, kissing.
"I'm definitely going to cut it," Phil said. "And I have to repaint your cat whiskers, Dan!"
Laughter and kisses until Phil decided to end the video.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
"So you're telling me this was kept on your channel for years?" Dan licked his fingers, removing the sauce from the plastic container of the pizza they ordered.
"Yes." Phil looked at the computer screen once more. "I can save it to a flash drive, just in case."
Dan was staring at the same spot as Phil. They were both quiet, lost in their own thoughts. They could both hear their own thoughts, fearing what would have happened if this had come to light, in all the comments and reposts if this had been revealed. It wasn't the first time they kissed on camera, but it was never public, always just between the two of them.
Dan wiped his hand with a wipe, opened a drawer, and handed over a USB drive that he kept in his drawer.
"I thought you were going to say something." Phil took the flash drive; he'd do the "homework" later.
Dan was speechless. Not because he thought the video was bad, or anything like that, but because he hadn't seen it until now. He forgot about the sweetness, the nervousness, and the embarrassment that came with his first kiss. With his first boyfriend.
"Want another marker kiss?" Phil said. Dan rolled his eyes, snapping out of his trance and moving closer to Phil to kiss him. A soft, tender, and more professional kiss.