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Well, they are now together.
Officially.
He and Suo have now become lovers, staying by each other's side again, living together like that's how it was always meant to be.
And yet, Sakura still has utter feelings about himself and about his own state, most likely coming from his imperfect wing. Don't get him wrong, he and Suo are still in love, and Suo still takes care of him here and there, loving him as if he deserves everything in this world. He can never appreciate Suo more, especially with how he's been taken care of by the other – like something precious that needs to be shielded from the cruelty of the world and from what has been ruining him as a whole.
That's the problem.
Suo loves him like he means the world, but Sakura can never love himself just the same.
Worse, he despises himself and the imperfections upon his body.
Being a child born from the love of a human and an angel never once gives him anything good in his life, including the scars he has to carry with him. Because there's no such day when Sakura finds himself loving the imperfections existing on his body, like a scar that has been there ever since the day he was welcomed into this world.
Like the scars of something he wants to avoid, that he wants to beat around the bush forever if possible.
And Sakura knows full well he can't do that.
Scars are never meant to be healed, they are meant to haunt one's mind like such trauma that fully existed and is rooted deeply inside. His cut wing imbalances it all, leaving him such ugliness that Sakura has to live with no matter what.
Sometimes, that big scar of his hurts him in the most brutal way possible. He always has these back pains aching from the cut wound, the one that leaves a mark on him for eternity. It hurts him like a reminder he can never forget, a reminder of such deficiency that he has to live with.
Just like now.
He and Suo were just falling asleep, cuddling under the tangled blanket at night. But then, the pain starts to sting and hit him like crashing waves, almost as if the feeling of getting his wing forcibly pulled out from his spine. Sakura starts to groan as cold sweat starts to appear across his face and body.
It hurts.
It really does.
The pain is seemingly endless, and it still hurts him just the same as many times before. The fact that this has already happened three times per month worries him more than he ever should, too much so that Sakura doesn't know how he can make it through it. Every time it hits him, Sakure always loses himself over such pain, his thoughts drifting back to the day when his wing got torn out.
They would grab onto his wing, all prideful and lacking empathy, as they laughed at his misery. They would push him down as he lay helplessly, so that he could only just look at them and beg a hundred times inside his mind. They tore his wings, stepping on him like a stepping stone and the cruel joke of heaven, pushing him into the Earth while his back was still bleeding.
The pain has never once lessened, no matter how much he tries to pull himself out of it.
What has become a scar would always haunt him and his restless mind, no matter how much effort Sakura has poured in just to run away from it. That scar would never go away, despite how much he wants to, knowing fully well it's gonna be stuck by his side forever.
But now.
"Haruka?"
Now, Sakura doesn't have to go through it all alone again.
Sakura tries his very best to look at the sight of the boy in front of him, all with that knowing worry of what's currently occurring. The other offers his hand for Sakura to cling onto, which Sakura does right away, still pretty much in pain from the seemingly boundless pain.
"Is it happening again?" Suo softly asks, though he already has the answer for himself at such a sight and at the tight hand holding onto his. His other free hand gently brushes through Sakura's wet bangs, looking at the boy who can only nod in response.
And so, Suo reaches over to the cupboard next to their bed, reaching for the box of ointment inside, clearly understanding the current situation. He grabs it and then slowly pulls Sakura's shirt up, though Sakura has now slowly lost consciousness from the pain that he doesn't have time to be shy about this.
"Tell me if it hurts, okay? Haruka?"
Yet, Suo would still always ask such a question despite the frequency, wanting not to hurt the dearest even more than it already has been.
If anything, he can never hurt Sakura, wanting the other to always be treated nicely under his care, just like how it always means to be. He wants Sakura not to be in more pain than what he has already been going through—that same scar that is meant to be taken care of with tenderness and nothing more. Suo gently touches the scar, applying it as softly as if he was touching something delicate.
They're now sitting by the futon, with the blanket and pillows surrounding them like a loose anchor. Sakura says nothing but can only whimper in response to such aching pain at the scar behind his back, all shown to Suo with barely anything covered. Yet, Suo just hums some kind of melody, with one hand rubbing circles to ease the pain away while the other gently holds Sakura's hand.
"Do you ever hate it?"
It makes Sakura appreciate the boy even more, though such insecurity still wanders inside his mind like the cruelest reminder of all.
"You know…the scar."
The scar behind his back, the unhealed wound from getting your wing torn apart. The one that Suo is caring about underneath the shirt, all with precise caution. Sakura looks back at the man sitting behind him, still taking care of him without complaining.
With how much this has been happening at night, surely Suo must have gotten annoyed by it, right?
There's just no way if there's no discomfort appearing on the other's face, especially when he has to be the one applying such ointment to Sakura's scar every night that Sakura winces in pain. His sleep gets occasionally interrupted, after all.
"Hating it?"
But Suo proves him wrong right away.
Suo leans slower as his forehead touches Sakura's back, as he carefully places a soft peck on Sakura's big scar. Such tenderness almost overwhelms the sensation burning inside, filling Sakura's heart with unconditional love that Sakura thinks he would never deserve.
"I never hate it, Haruka."
"It's your unique charm, and I love that about you. I love everything when it comes to you, Haruka." Suo places another kiss by one another again and again, talking soothingly yet wholeheartedly to Sakura as if he was stating the most obvious answer here. It makes Sakura's heart feel so full with something he has never once experienced before, not even the parents who brought him into such a life.
Sakura just smiles as he lets the other continue with his work, letting such warmth and comfort ease what's bothering his insides. He leans back though say nothing at all, letting Suo place a small peck on his forehead as a way to soothe down what's been disturbing him, with all love and nothing else.
.
.
.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
Maybe this is all that matters to him, all that brings him to be who he truly is.
Maybe this is his home, the place to be just the way he is.
For Sakura to be the same Sakura Haruka.
With scars of survival, and the love growing stronger under Suo's tender care.
Within the story between just them, and no one else.