Chapter Text
Reggie😑⭐
Barty😝🖕👺
REG! You left me alone with your insufferable bf again!🤬
I’M GONNA FUCKING MURDER U
Or maybe James
Actually I’m gonna kill both of u
And then Black bc I can
There is no escape
Altho please don’t bury me alive again
That wasn’t fun
THE ONLY PERSON GETTING PUNISHED IS U REG
SIRIUSLY
YOU HAD TO LEAVE ME WITH JAMES
I WAS TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM RIPPING HIS HEAD OFF
ALSO
I NOW HAVE SO MUCH BLACKMAIL MATERIAL😈
1:52
Reg😑
I’m sorry, who the fuck are u?
And who’s reg?
Murder is not generally recommended btw
Also
YOU GOT BURIED ALIVE?!
WTF
1:52
Barty😝🖕👺
Stop trying to get out of this reg! I know this is you
1:52
Reg😑
Genuinely who are u?
Why do you have my number?
1:53
Barty😝🖕👺
u seriously don’t know who I am?
This is what I get for accidentally deleting Reg’s number while drunk and then trying to text him after he left me alone with his dumbass of a bf who’s even worse than usual when drunk and high
So, what’s ur name stranger?
Mine’s barty😏
And yes, I did get buried alive
Not the highlight of my career
1:54
Reg😑
Wtf
How does that even happen?😭
And no I’m not telling you my name
1:54
Barty😝🖕👺
Fine
Be that way
1:54
Mystery person
I’m gonna sleep
If you text me while I sleep I’m gonna actually murder you
Maybe I’ll find out who Reg is and get him to turn against u
And get him to help me murder u
1:54
Barty😝🖕👺
I’m gonna go muder Reg
don’t kill me
I’m too hot to die
And DO NOT get Reg involved in the murder
Or turn him against me
1:55
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Five gays and a straight🏳️🌈
Ev🌹
Some random dude just texted me abt someone named Reg and Reg’s bf, who he( the stranger, aka Barty) says is annoying
1:57
Cas🤭
Yooo wtf
Evan what’d you do
Plz tell me you told him to fuck himself
Actually wait
You should've entertained him and then randomly said the most out of pocket shit so he’d freak out
1:58
Marls(cas’ gf, aka the crazy one)🤪
That’s my girl!
Ev, what'd you do?
1:58
Ev🌹
*insert screenshot*
1:59
Cas🤭
Really evan?
I’m disappointed in u
1:59
Marls(cas’ gf, aka the crazy one)🤪
u r so boring
At least say smth randomly freaky or smth
1:59
Ev🌹
I think I’m good
We don’t know each other at all
U go and text him if you wanna do that
2:00
Dora’s bestie(aka bf-ish person)😇
Wait what
Ev why did a rando text u😭
R u ok?
Ur not like feeling negative emotions bc of the encounter?
2:00
Ev🌹
Dw Xeno I’m fine
I just kinda wanna murder that fucker
Imma block him
Actually wait I wanna see what happens next
2:01
Dora’s bestie(aka bf-ish person)😇
Pls don’t murder him
Also
Can I sleep pls?
My phone keeps buzzing
2:01
Dora(amazing twin sis)🫶🔮
Guys we should let xeno sleep
Ev, you good?
That was weird
But like,
It makes a weird sort of sense
This is gonna end up a romcom or smth istg
2:01
Lils( basically my parent)😘🪻
You should find stuff out about him
2:02
Ev🌹
I don’t even know anything other than his first name
Wait
Why r u trying to make me talk to the dickhead again
Also
Good idea
Imma do that
Maybe I can use it as blackmail
Dora
If you really think it’s gonna end that way you could always try to look into the future
2:02
Dora(amazing twin sis)🫶🔮
Ev
You know that’s not how my prophetic sight works
plus, I'm usually right abt this kind of thing
2:03
Dora’s bestie(aka bf-ish person)😇
Can I sleep?😭
2:03
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Oh no everyone has lost their minds(ft peter)
Barty😝🖕👺
Regulus black ur not gonna survive this time
You left me with James!
He talked my ear off
How tf do you like that mf
Also
I texted the wrong number
He hates me
Or is it a she?
Idk
2:05
Reg’s dumbass bf(why’s he so damn happy)😊
What did I do barty😭
2:05
Barty😝🖕👺
You yapped abt ur friends for an hour
And abt Reg
I did not need to know some of that stuff
And mate, Sirius ain’t that great
Also, I don’t need to hear abt what him and Remus do💀
I think i’ll murder u too
And then Black
Imma go sharpen my knives
2:06
reg’s annoying sibling😤
Excuse you, I’m fabulous
Also james what
Why
Wait
Oh shit we forgot you guys were at our flat that time
sorry(not rly) for torturing u
Did we traumatise Pete too?
Also, spill what u learned abt reg
I wanna know
Also, why tf do you have knives?!
2:06
Barty😝🖕👺
You wish I’d tell you, black
Sorry but I think I’ll save that info
Maybe I’ll tell mystery person
Just to spite you
And the knives are there incase one of u guys(not you pete, or you remus) pisses me off bad enough
2:06
reg’s annoying sibling😤
You’d trust a random person over me?!
I FEEL BETRAYED
BARTEMIUS CROUCH JR!
HOW DARE YOU!
Also, why tf do you wanna murder me
I’m amazing
Remus and James can tell u that
2:07
Remus(the second chillest person here other than me)📚
Ur not amazing Sirius
I’m questioning why I’m still with you
2:07
Reg😑⭐
Sirius stop being dramatic
James, love, you didn’t do anything wrong
Congrats on pissing barty off
Remus, I agree, why tf are you still with my sibling
2:07
Reg’s dumbass bf(why’s he so damn happy)😊
Yay!
Ty darlin
Ily!
2:07
Reg😑⭐
Ilyt
2:07
Barty😝🖕👺
Reg why do you hate me
2:07
Reg😑⭐
Bc you’re an annoying lil fucker
Unfortunately
you’re somehow my friend
I’m two seconds away from ditching you btw
So don’t do anything dumb
2:08
Barty😝🖕👺
Ur being nice
Why?
2:08
Reg😑⭐
James is cuddling me
2:08
Mary💋
Barty found someone else to pester?
YAY!
Do u know anything abt them yet?
2:08
Barty😝🖕👺
Nope
Imma go spam mystery person
2:08
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Mystery person🤔
Barty😝🖕👺
R u at least gonna tell me what gender u r?
2:09
Mystery person
I’m a guy
Will u leave me alone now?
I have class tmrw
2:09
Barty😝🖕👺
Wait ur also still in school?
2:09
Mystery person
Yeah
I’m in upper sixth
2:09
Barty😝🖕👺
Oh wait me too
2:09
Mystery person
Ok, we’re the same age
2:09
Barty😝🖕👺
For all u know I could be lying
Maybe I’m a fifty yr old man
2:09
Mystery person
I don’t think so
You act like an emotionally immature teen
Now, for the love of God, let me sleep
2:10
Barty😝🖕👺
I am not emotionally immature!
Ur mean
I’m not gonna let u sleep u boring-ass person
2:10
Barty😝🖕👺
Can cats and dogs create children together?
Wait, how do merfolk have kids/fuck?
How many ways to murder someone using string are there?
Wait since you have the same area code you also live in London right?
2:11
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Five gays and a straight🏳️🌈
Ev🌹
Random Guy Who Texted Me is also in upper sixth
He just sent me the wackiest questions ever
*insert screenshot*
2:11