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Sirius’ eyes were heavy, weighed down by the warmth of sleep as he tugged gently at a loose string on the sweater brushed close against him. The room was steeped in the afterglow of the cool autumn day, sunlight peeking through loose shutters and bathing the dormitory with a delicate feeling of solace as the sun slowly set.
Sirius had never been one to much appreciate silence. It reminded him of the cold detachment of his family. When the stale bitterness of Grimmauld Place would grip him, pressing against his sides and stealing away his breath.
But this couldn’t have been more different.
He turned over where he laid, gazing up at a scarred cheek and brown eyes scanning the faded pages of an old muggle book. Remus was gorgeous, the golden light painted his face, threaded through tawny curls and ghosted over the edges in his often worried expressions.
Sirius didn’t care for the quiet, but he would sit in the silence for days to have Remus tucked away in their corner of the universe, away from school, from their parents, away from the looming promises of the moon. Here, it was less of a burden and more of a promise, gentle and kind and curling around him carefully.
He watched as Remus reread the page a third time, a grin tugging at his lips, before reaching up and gently tugging it out of his hands. “Something more interesting than Little Women, Moony?” Sirius squinted at the cover, he never knew what new book Remus would take an interest in at a given time… He had never read as much as his brother.
Remus let out a sigh, exasperated, but not making any move to stop him nonetheless. “I can feel you staring, Sirius.”
“Well, I wasn’t trying to hide it, Moons.”
“Your pining is a little distracting.”
“Hah! Pining is for lonely blokes that don’t get to be this close, and I got over that months ago.” Sirius grinned, leaning into him even closer. “You’re not telling me to leave, are you love?”
“Yep. Get lost Black, I’m trying to read.” He responded dryly, but a pretty blush warmed his cheekbones and Sirius couldn’t be torn away.
“Moony! How could you be so cruel to me? If I remember correctly, you seemed to love this clinginess last nigh—” Remus gave him a sharp jab in the ribs, broken laugh escaping from a hesitant grin. “You ought to watch that mouth of yours around me, Pads.”
Sirius pouted, rather comically, at that. “The lads won’t be back for ages, Rem. Not with Prongs sneaking around with who knows who and Pete mulling over Charms, the swot.”
Remus couldn’t contain an eye roll, moving to stand. “Oh, thought you had a thing for swots Padfoot, I guess I ought to see myself out…” Sirius practically threw himself at him.
“Shut up you twat, I only have eyes for one anyways.” The sunlight caught on his smile and might as well have lit up the room. Remus made it a point to look away, there wasn't any good in further inflating his insatiable ego these days.
“Last I checked you only really loved your own reflection, Pads,” he rebutted coyly, eyes shifting back to grey ones. He leaned up to him, close enough that his exhale ghosted across the other. “Are you implying there's another great love in your life?” He couldn’t help the grin now, proudly watching silver eyes widen and crimson settle deep in his cheeks. If only he could see himself now, flustered and hair a mess while practically sitting on his lap.
“Um…” he replied, voice fading into the warmth of the room as the thought died. Remus reached up, cradling the soft skin before carding sweetly through unruly dark waves. “Don’t have much to say anymore, do you Sirius?”
It was Sirius’ turn to look away, scowling and petulant as always, “Whatever mate…”
Remus could only laugh, pushing himself forward to leave a slow kiss on his cheek, then his jaw, before indulging himself in the slope of a slender neck and sharp collarbone. Sirius, to his credit, only allowed himself a hum of approval before melting into the touch. “If you’re after something you only need to ask, Moons.” Remus made note to catalog his breathy tremor for later.
“You would like that, wouldn’t you love?” He took the opportunity to pull him in, his other hand sliding up a strong thigh and sharp hip before resting on the small of his back. Sirius shivered despite himself, and Remus’ confidence only grew. He leaned up again, whispering lowly in his ear, “I think it would be better if you asked me yourself this time, don’t you think?”
“Well, I…” Sirius didn’t have much time for a stammered response before Remus decided to flip him over, one leg hooking underneath him before turning until his back landed in the mattress, black hair splaying across white sheets. Sirius was, somehow again, speechless.
Remus couldn’t help but revel in the sight. Sirius Black, the wealthy, popular, pureblood heir. Reckless rebel, in his own right. His loyal friend, lying underneath him now, pliant in his hands and looking at him with devotion. Remus couldn’t have imagined it if it wasn’t laid out so plainly for him.
“M— Moony,” Sirius breathed out shakily, looking away from his gaze, as Remus realized he must have been staring. He chuckled, disbelief that it was him reducing such a character to the mess below him. “Is a guy not allowed to enjoy the view, Pads?” He peppered soft, open kisses up his cheekbone, whispering, “If you’re after something, you only have to ask, love.” He couldn’t mask the smugness in his voice, a grin that only grew at the indignant mumble in response. He didn’t think he would ever be a teasing type, but Sirius managed to coax out a conviction he never thought was possible of himself.
A laugh bubbled out of his throat at the sound, an easy melody that melted into the air and settled into the softness between them. Remus was a lucky man, he knew that, and not just because he had easily one of the prettiest people in the castle shivering in his hands.
Remus was born from the stillness of muggle Wales country. A calm, complacent quiet that could either keep you or chase you away.
Sirius was like the sound of crickets on a dark night, the thrum of a muggle car in the distance, or the snapping of twigs in a still forest. In other ways he could easily be the distant sound of thunder, or the unexpected push of a wave against the shore during a sudden storm. Remus loved them both. The reminder of life, and its unwavering relentlessness even in the mundane that Sirius carried with every breath, loud and unapologetic. And maybe that was why he couldn’t keep away. He was addicted to the quick pulse beneath his fingers, the unexpected grin flashed, aimed to charm and awe, the laugh barked freely in friendly company, and the way it all always managed to favor him.
Remus couldn’t help but dip back down, kissing the other boy fiercely, letting the warmth mingle between them and delighting in the desperate gasp in return. He could recognize Sirius by the brush of his lips alone, at this point. The fullness of his lower lip and the delicate arch of a cupid's bow that used to make him dizzy at the thought. Still did, most times. It was a delicate thing, the way those lips parted for a gentle touch. The small question and answer that wrapped around them, inviting him. The honest ask for some tenderness and its reception. Remus was drunk with him.
He pulled away after maybe a minute, maybe an hour, maybe a lifetime, it really wasn’t that important.
“What’re you doing,” Sirius couldn’t help the ragged tone in his voice, and almost hated how he also couldn't bring himself much to care. Remus’ smile made it all worth it.
“Is it a crime to look at you now?”
“...Yes.”
Remus scoffed at that, his hand trailing up his waist and tracing his jaw. “You’re absolutely ridiculous, you know that?” His voice dripped with adoration, not making any effort to hide it.
Sirius smiled. A genuine beauty blooming across his face, eyes shining. “You love it though, ey’ Moons?”
“Against my better judgment. Yeah, I suppose I do.” He stared a bit more, delighting in the way grey eyes traced down his own face, lingering on his lips, before meeting brown again.
Sirius scoffed, shifting beneath him as his grin turned coy, "C'mere you arsehole—”
Remus let out a gasp of shock as he was quickly flipped onto the mattress, feeling his cheeks warm as Sirius cocked his head to the side. “How about now? Same appeal?”
Remus couldn’t tear his eyes from him, hands finding their resting place on his hips like a memory. Sirius’ hair was wild, inky black and tangled, framing the sharp angle of his jaw and emphasizing pale skin. His eyes, full of mirth and content, suggested he loved the position, but a softness was nestled just underneath. Remus could find it in the way his smile eased as he looked at him, the way his breath hitched with the press of Remus’ hands on his sides, and the soft shine in his gaze the longer he looked.
Remus almost laughed at himself. He was rather gone, wasn’t he.
“It’s not the worst in the world.”
Sirius laughed, sharp and quick before leaning in to meet his lips again.
Sirius sighed into the kiss, the embrace of large hands sliding up his waist and curve of chapped lips making him rather stupid, if anything. Remus was everything in the way sleep is everything to the mind. The way that letters in sequence, words on a page, can transform into a fantasy. The way evening breezes carry seeds across fields. He was the journey before the destination and the presence Sirius couldn’t breathe clearly without. He sought it like he craved food, thirsted for water, was drained without sunlight and tired without sleep. It was obvious, when he spent a second thinking about it. He had always needed Remus, reaching for him in the way he would reach for a wand to cast a spell.
He craved him in a way that was without explanation, it was almost instinctual. Remus was always what he came back to. A presence always there in the cracks between every moment. The small look across the room or the quiet murmur across the dorm at night. He could find him in the streams of sunlight through windows or the smell of parchment in the library, if he needed to. Something constant. Something grounding. Outside the stimulus of the world, his family, their schoolwork, their future, his past. With him there was now, and that was important too.
Sirius grinned between them, lips stretching before he could even think of stopping himself as passion melted into pecks. It was his turn to pull away now, unable to do anything else. He needed to look at him.
Soft brown ringlets of hair were swept up in different directions, carded through lazily over the day and now collecting around a handsome, blushing face. Remus was beautiful like this, he didn’t care if he was the only one that could really see it, but maybe it was better that way. Having him all to himself. The only one with the privilege of knowing the curve of his nose, of peering deep into tawny eyes speckled with amber, freckles dusting his skin and scars painting the landscape of his face. Remus was always beautiful, but even more so that he was the most beautiful to Sirius.
“Are you still with me, Siri?”
Sirius blinked down at him, caught off guard by the question, before smiling. “I’ve told you I love you already, right Moons?”
“Oh— I… Yeah. Yes, you have.” Remus spluttered back, a smile breaking through again as his cheeks darkened.
“I feel like I haven’t told you enough.”
“You do, Sirius, plenty... But it doesn’t always have to be something said either, does it?”
Sirius’ smile only widened, and if he knew better he would have probably realized it looked rather dopey, with his hair even messier and a pink still in his cheeks.
Not that he would have cared much by now.
“Clever as always, Remus.” He leaned in again, this time dipping his head into the space between the other boy’s neck and shoulder, feeling the steady heartbeat beneath him. Remus hummed in response, moving only to rest a hand behind his head, working dark hair between his fingers.
Sirius shifted after a moment, voice gently grazing his ear, “I really do love you, though.”
Remus pulled him in again.
Sirius eagerly met him.