Chapter Text
Ivan tensed, hearing soft steps on the snow behind him. Those were not his sistersʼ but some strangerʼs. The stranger was walking very slowly, trying their best to be quiet and unnoticeable. When Ivan stopped in place, listening to the sound of these steps on the snow surface, stranger seemed to stop as well, waiting for something along with the Russian.
“Hello?” Vanya slowly turned around and looked back, catching a frame behind the trees with a corner of his eye. The frame slightly winced and stumbled, timidly looking down in embarrassment. “Who are you? Come here, letʼs be friends!” Ivan smiled with enthusiasm, waiting for the other person to come closer. Yet, despite his expectations, the figure fearfully squeaked and hid behind a pine tree further away.
Ivan blinked in slight surprise, being a bit caught off guard by these actions. He slowly stepped closer to the pine, not willing to scare the other one. As their eyes met, they both froze, looking at each other in amazement. Ivan was the first one to speak.
“Your eyes are purple, just as mine.” he said, trying not to be seen as rude by such an intense stare. The other one shyly looked down and softly murmured something under his breath. Ivan came closer, observing his features curiously. He reached his hand out to him, but quickly lowered the hand as he noticed the air filled with a mix of anxiety and nervousness that surrounded him.
“You're pretty,” Russian mumbled in amusement. “You must be a foreigner? You look slightly different from people here.” He smiled brightly, looking over him with shiny eyes.
“Who are you?” he asked again. The other boy's face turned shy once again as he lowered his head, the quick sharp movement showed his awkwardness.
“They... they call me Canada,” he muttered uncertainly.
Ivan shook his head, giggling softly.
“Nuh-uh, that's not a name.”
“Not a name?” the other one seemed shocked.
“That's your land,” he came closer and poked him in the chest, keeping his gaze tender on him as he would look at his younger brother if he had one. “Your land is called Canada, but I want to know your human name. My name is Ivan, what is yours?”
“A human name?” the violet eyes were wandering around the scenery in confusion as he tried to maintain eye contact.
“The names people use to call each other,” he added with a chuckle. “You don't have one, do you?”
He shifted from one foot to the other, covering his face with golden bangs.
“Then you must be pretty young. That's not a big deal. I could name you, would you like me to?” Ivan ruffled his hair to shake the snow off and giggled quietly. “Come here!” he threw his arms wide open and stepped closer, his smile fading slightly as he felt the purple eyes in front of him filling with pure fear. “I just wanted to warm you up,” a soft whimper slipped from his lips. “Am I that scary?” Vanya looked up at the sky and sighed heavily with closed eyes.
“N-no! Of course you're not!” the scream suddenly cut the air as he nervously moved closer. “I-I do want you to-to give me a... name... please–! I... I would love to! I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry!”
He was softly pulled closer into the warm embrace. Ivan let out a kind-hearted chuckle and put his hat on the golden curls, not wanting the little one to freeze.
“It's alright, it's alright. You don't need to apologize, there's nothing that could offend me.” Ivan reassured him with a sad smile. “Nothing could hurt me, I've felt too much pain in the past...” he went quiet for a while, then lowered his head, observing the boy who was unconsciously pressing into the source of warmth. “What do you think of Matvey?”
“Who's that?” he mumbled into the soft collar, leaning into Ivan's chest, making him laugh at that comment.
“It's a name. Do you want to be called Matvey?” Ivan looked down at the charming amethyst glow in front of him that was full of amazement.
“Name... for me... for real?! No, you— you must be k-kidding—” boy looked up dead into Ivan's eyes, nearly sobbing. He froze when the warm hand was placed on his head once again and unconsciously let out a whimper of surprise.
“Yes, for real. It's your name now. Matvey.” Ivan gently combed his hair back, shaking off the snow again. Then pulled him even closer and opened his fur coat to cover the other one and warm him up.
“Oh!” he softly exhaled with surprise as he found himself nuzzling into the warm soft chest. He looked up at the mysterious eyes that stared at him whenever he looked away. But—we'll give it to him—it was incredibly hard not to look into those eyes. The entire core was screaming, he couldn't help but slowly drown in those eyes. Involuntarily getting closer to confused Ivan, Matvey almost actually felt his lungs filling with something heavy as if he had no access to oxygen due to those eyes. Everything was so clear, so pure, so sincere in that Russian gaze. The coldness, the loneliness, the longing. And yet, that all together in his eyes looked beautiful. Too relatable, too sincere... just too much to bear.
“Hey,” Russian chuckled and gave him a smile. “Where had your thoughts gone just now; what are you dreaming about?”
“I-I... y-youʼre too pretty, don't blame me!” Matvey looked away with blushed cheeks.
“Ah, is that so? I think you've never met other nations, that's the thing.”
“Yes, I have.” he whispered. “My twin.”
“Doesn't count.” Ivan huffed.
“Doesn't?” he repeated in confusion.
“Doesn't.” Ivan said it again without hesitation.
They both went silent for a few minutes, just listening to the snow crunching under their boots. Matvey cast a glance at him again, observing him like an interesting animal he'd never met before. When the weight of Matvey's stare on Ivan's back became so heavy that he could physically feel it, he turned back to the little one.
“What’s there so interesting about my back, if you don’t mind me asking?” he chuckled, watching Matvey shyly blush at the comment and lower his head. “So... you said you have a twin?” Ivan decided to bring this up to help him change the topic.
“Y-yes, I do... his name is Alfred.”
Russian stopped all of a sudden and turned back to him.
“So, you’re telling me that he had a name, and you didn’t?” he looked so shocked to the point that he almost looked mad at this injustice.
Matvey took a step back and flinched when a branch snapped under his feet. Ivan looked into his amethyst eyes, filled with fear, and breathed out, trying not to scare him even more.
“I mean, it just does not look fair to me.” he added carefully, as if to justify his actions. “Don’t be afraid, sorry”
Matvey saw a flash of anger in those eyes and something else that made his chest feel tight for a moment, was it... protectiveness?
“I... never thought of it as unfair.” he lowered his head to avoid eye contact. “I thought... that's just how it's supposed to be. He was always the louder one, the one that was making noise and trouble. And I... I was just there.” he let out a small chuckle, filled with longing.
“But now you're not there, you're here, with me, and you've got a name. That means something, Matvey. I believe that has to mean something to you.” Ivan sat down on the snow and huffed. He, surely, had never seen Matvey’s twin, but he already felt enmity toward him.
Matvey sat down next to him, unconsciously following, and leaned his head on the warm fur. He was close enough to Ivan to see his breath and hear his heartbeat. There was something strangely intimate and trusting about it, something incredibly comfortable that let Matvey just be himself with no excuses.
He took a deep breath in with his eyes closed, inhaling the freezing pine air.
“Now that you have a name, you'll never be 'just there'. Now you're here. With me.” Ivan moved a little closer, letting the boy lean on him. His voice was so calm that Matvey couldn't help but nuzzle into the fur, slowly feeling how the cold around him faded away at those words. In this forest, surrounded by nothing but snow, he felt so warm. His chest was filled with something so light, as if all the problems in the world had suddenly disappeared for now. He was wrapped in something warm and cozy, feeling his limbs slowly growing numb under this level of comfort.
When he opened his eyes again, his gaze hit the ceiling... ceiling?! But he was in the freezing forest just now!
Matthew groaned, covering his eyes with one hand, unconsciously trying to come back to that place. Those violet eyes were still fresh in his mind. That light, calm feeling in his chest was slowly fading away, replaced with a lump in his throat and frustration of waking up in the cold, lonely metropolis.
Fuck this stupid vision! It had been hundreds of years, yet this childish phantom kept coming back to him every night. It was always that stranger, who gave him a name and saw him for the first time. Every time Matthew woke up from this dream, he could still feel those beautiful eyes looking at him with protectiveness and something soft, looking at him as if he were actually seen, heard, noticed, and valued as a person.
He half-heartedly got out of bed and stretched, putting some fish into Kumakichi’s bowl.
After all, it's always been just a dream. Weird, unrealistic, utopian dream and nothing more. Or at least, that's what Matthew kept saying to himself every time he woke up, despite that almost muscle memory of the violet eyes tenderly looking at him.