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Jupiter had been the official sovereign of Earth for three years when the Chitauri smashed through New York. Caine beamed down and found her, elbow deep in rubble pulling people out, directing survivors. He had a Moment—capitalisation intended—where he stood, stunned, staring up at her standing with her feet planted, teeth gritted, nose-to-nose with a firefighter and telling him he was going to fucking listen right now.
Her lessons with Stinger paid off; not one of the creatures that threatened her got up again, not one of them rose to hurt anyone else. Jupiter and Caine fought shoulder to shoulder, cleared rubble in the quiet between fighting, and as the day darkened and the portal was closed, they worked through the night. In the unforgiving light of morning, Jupiter turned around to find that the block was clear of wounded and trapped.
She put on her boots before Caine could stop her and skated all the way to the Stark Tower, around the back where there wasn’t a journalist camp, and used her Abrasax passcode to get in. It would override any system, anywhere in the world. It came in handy when she forgot the security codes for buildings she had to clean.
“Ah, forgive me…Your Majesty, but you are using an override I do not recognise. I must ask you to relinguish your weapons” a smooth English voice intoned from above.
“I don’t have time for any of this” Jupiter snapped, as a security detail burst out of the corridor to her left and shouted for her to freeze.
“Your Majesty?” questioned Caine, hand on his gun, eyeing the security with an unimpressed gaze.
“No, I got this” she dismissed, dropping a lipgloss-sized container from her sleeve, twisting it and throwing it in the air. A blue-tinged blast settled a glittering cloak over Stark’s security, encasing them in a force field that held them motionless where they stood. Tossing her matted ponytail off her shoulder, Jupiter stalked forward. Caine glanced at the hovering cylinder and shook his head affectionately as he walked after his Princess.
“Do you know where you’re going?” he asked as she walked into an elevator and stabbed the button for the top floor.
“Rich guys are always in the penthouse” she replied.
“Your Majesty, I must insist-” came the English voice again.
“Listen, whoever the hell you are: I haven’t slept in about thirty hours, I’ve been pulling bodies out of rubble all night, this little situation is going to be a major diplomatic nightmare and I’m about to meet the Avengers with vomit on my shirt, so shut the hell up and get me to wherever Thor Odinson is, right frikkin’ now!”
There was a moment of quiet.
“The Odinson has been informed of your arrival, Your Majesty. I will guide you there immediately”
Caine hadn’t moved from his position, leaning against the elevator wall with his arms crossed. He smirked. Jupiter huffed.
“Queen of Earth?!” bellowed Tony in the penthouse.
Clint closed his eyes and sat down, pushing a loud groan into his palms. Natasha squinted and Steve automatically patted his pockets looking for his wallet; he definitely owed Fury another ten.
“No, no, technically her title is Princess, but she is the Reoccurance of the last Queen of the House of Abrasax. Midgard may be under my protection as Prince of Asgard, but it is owned by the Royal family. We do not often meddle in their affairs. They are a greedy, barbaric people obsessed with youth and-”
“Oh, screw you Odinson!”
Everyone turned to the door. The Queen of Earth was a five-foot tall, dark-haired, green eyed little spitfire covered in rubble dust with bruised knuckles and a pair of serious ass-kicking boots pulled on over her skinny jeans. At her shoulder was a big, blonde man dressed all in black with a massive gun at his hip and similar boots on his feet. Tony knew tech when he saw it, and the boots and gun made his fingers itch. Thor, God of Thunder, paled as Jupiter Jones marched forward, eyes ablaze. She stopped just far enough away from him that she wouldn’t put a crick in her neck trying to look him in the eye.
“Ah, Your Majes-” Thor began.
She jabbed him in the middle of his chest, shutting him up. “Stick it up your ass! What did I say, Thor? After New Mexico, you and I sat down at a very nice dinner and I said to you, right to your face I said to you in clear, plain Allspeak: keep your shit off Earth, Odinson, and you agreed! You said you loved the little astrophysicist, we shared tragic backstories about telescopes and stars and I said fine: woo humans all you like, but keep. Your. Shit. Off. Earth. THERE WAS A WAR IN DOWNTOWN NEW YORK, ODINSON! There are alien bodies piled up on the Manhattan bridge and spaceships in the harbour! That’s not keeping your shit off Earth, that is taking a dump on my goddamn lawn, you get that?!”
The Avengers were utterly stunned as Thor stammered and the tiny little woman stopped to draw breath before launching into another tirade. A Russian accent bit the edges of her words as she illustrated heavily with her hands, pacing up and down between Thor and Caine.
“I have been really, really good at keeping my shit together in the last couple of years. There was a whole going down that maybe I should have stepped in on, but Charters say the Entitled should interfere as little as possible with the evolution of our native populations. Guy starts flying around in a metal suit: okay. The Incredible Hulk flattens Harlem; I’m a little freaked, but I’ll deal. I was dealing with a Keeper incursion in Australia at the time, so I was a little busy. Legend of World War II, the great Captain-freakin’-America, gets defrosted like Thanksgiving turkey; God have mercy, but fine. Your father tells me he’s exiling your ass here till you learn some manners; I didn’t sign up to play babysitter to spoilt gods with attitude problems, but I don’t have time to bicker with the Allfather when my incarnation’s psycho son is trying to turn our Moon into a nightlight. One year!”
She stuck a pointer finger in the air furiously. “I want to get through one frikkin’ year without the Abrasax trying to take Earth out, or you people using this planet as a playground” She swung around and stabbed Thor’s chest three times, emphasising her words. “My planet. Is not. Your playground”
Thor opened his mouth to speak and shut it again, eyeing her again in case she wasn’t finished.
Instead she raised both eyebrows aggressively.
“I must beg pardon of you, Your Majesty. I was to come to your court this day and explain my brother’s actions to you. The House of Odin holds itself accountable for his crimes”
“You’re goddamn right it does!” she said hotly.
“Can I just butt in here for one second? Hi, Your Majesty, was it? I’m Tony Stark. Honoured to meet you” Tony smoothly stepped forward and offered his hand.
“Jupiter Jones. My Royal Guard, Sky-Jack Caine Wise” She graciously shook his hand and indicated the man still standing at ease behind her.
He nodded to them but didn’t shift off his defensive stance.
“Sorry I didn’t roll out the red carpet, but we weren’t actually aware that our planet had a Queen”
Thor grimaced at Tony’s sharp tone. Jupiter smiled icily.
“Well, the position is more like a landlord than a real queen; I just fix the plumbing and make sure nobody tries to harvest your kidneys. And, also, the rest of you. I don’t even ask for rent! I’m cool like that”
“Well, not paying rent to live on my planet is a real treat, I tell you. Also, not having my kidneys harvested by aliens, that’s nice too. I’m actually just wondering if there’s any other great, immortal beings in the sky rolling dice over Earth that we should maybe know about” he said, mock-sweetly and looked piercingly at Thor.
“There are more worlds in this universe than you have a number to express” said Caine, speaking for the first time.
“My God. It speaks. Hey, you’re downgraded. He’s Legolas now. Sorry. He’s got the ears” Tony said aside to Clint, who hadn’t moved from where he’d sat when Thor told them they were about to get a visit from the owner of Earth.
“What are you exactly?” asked Natasha softly. She was standing at an angle that she could get to Caine without getting in Steve’s way; the Captain had a hand hovering over his shield, which was leaning against a chair. Caine glared, lips twitching over a silent snarl.
“He’s a genetic splice. Human hybrid” explained Jupiter casually.
“We can do that?” Steve spoke for the first time.
“You can’t. They can” replied Caine, his voice low and fierce as he inclined his head at Jupiter.
She shrugged at the wide-eyed looks that got her, then looked at Natasha. “Can you not, with the gun? You are making him twitchy. Who the hell are you anyway?”
“Natasha Romanoff. I was KGB. They call me the Black Widow” she spoke in Russian, eyes narrowed.
Jupiter made a frustrated noise. “Red Room, yes?”
Natasha’s gaze flicked with surprise and she folded her arms as she re-evaluated the woman before her. “You know of Red Room?”
She snorted. “I know a lot of things, Black Widow. My position gives me the resources to know these things. You do not walk into battles with monsters, aliens and politicians without them. This you should know best of all”
“Anyone get any of that?” asked Tony mildly, looking between them suspiciously.
“Lady Natasha is introducing herself to Her Majesty” translated Thor loosely.
Jupiter rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. Something crackled on her skin and she looked down. A long rusty smear had dried and was flecking off her skin down her arm. Someone’s blood; she’d held a man’s hand as he died from internal injuries a few hours ago, and now she was standing here arguing with Iron Man and the Black Widow. Hopefully tomorrow she’d be back in Chicago, cleaning toilets.
“Ma’m? Are you alright?”
She looked up and found Steve Rogers was watching her, looking concerned. She felt Caine’s presence hovering at her back. He wouldn’t touch her while he was on duty, but when he got her home tonight he wasn’t going to let her go for hours. Jupiter smiled shakily at Steve. He was younger than she thought; barely late twenties if a day.
“Fine, thanks. It’s been a long night”
She looked at Tony, then Thor, speaking quietly; “I’m doing my best to protect this planet from those that would harm it. If I have to start expecting attacks from my allies, things are going to get a lot more complicated”
Somebody made a slightly hysterical sound. They looked at Clint, surprised.
He waved a shaky hand. “Sorry. But…I mean, you own the planet, he’s a Norse god and he’s a Nazi science experiment. I had a nut-job in my head using me like a puppet yesterday and we just fought an alien invasion. Things are already complicated”
Jupiter chuckled humourlessly. “Super-soldiers? Gods? Mind control? That’s nothing. That’s child’s play. I’ll leave that sort of thing up to your Avengers”
Clint looked spooked. Natasha swore in Russian and Jupiter agreed in the same language. There was a long moment of quiet contemplation in the room before Jupiter shook it off and looked at Thor.
“Now to the matter of attempted planetary enslavement; I assume that Loki will be tried and convicted on Asgard?”
Thor nodded, a sad darkness in his eyes.
Pity flashed across Jupiter’s face. She looked away, raised her chin. “You’ll contact me with the dates of the trial. I have to respond to this personally. People will get to thinking they can hire mercenaries to take the planet without repercussions. If I don’t agree with the Allfather’s sentencing, I will move for extradition”
Anger rose in Thor’s massive shoulders. “No brother of mine will be tried before your courts. He is of Asgard, and he will judged as an Asgardian”
“Ensure that the punishment fits the crime and I won’t need to pursue my own justice” Jupiter hissed, standing straight again.
Mjolnir trembled on the floor behind Thor. Caine shifted, putting a hand on his gun. Thor glanced over Jupiter’s shoulder and sneered. “Your dog thinks to try the strength of the Odinson?”
Caine snarled and Jupiter held up a hand breezily to placate him. Everyone tensed up expectantly. Tony hadn’t moved, but his bracelets were blinking steady blue lights. Jupiter and Thor’s gazes were locked, a silent battle of wills.
“If it comes down to the strength of blood, mine has got millennia on yours. The blood in my veins was fighting wars and annihilating civilisations long before you were even a story by a campfire. Final warning: Keep your family bonding off Earth. The next Asgardian incursion into my territory will be considered an act of war”
He inhaled sharply. “You threaten war with Asgard?”
“I don’t make threats” Jupiter whispered at him pointedly, then raised her voice. “If you thought at any point in the last three years that Asgard had a chance against me, you’d already have my seal. I know you tried to take Earth from Balem. I know you failed then, and his armies are mine now. We both care too much about this planet to destroy it like that. Keep your brother on a short leash or I swear to God, I will have him killed”
“I understand your rage, Lady Jupiter. Understand this in return: threaten my family again and the relationship between us will not be so easy”
“I told you: I do not make threats” she informed him coldly. Turning on her heel, she headed for the door. Before she exited, she stopped and flashed a wide, bright smile at the assembled Avengers. “Super cool to meet you all, by the way. Big fan. Seriously, I’ve got t-shirts. Keep up the good work” She gave them a thumbs up and disappeared with her huge body guard right behind her.
For a long moment, nobody spoke. Then Thor heaved a heavy sigh that edged on a growl.
“That’s one gutsy gal” summarised Steve with admiring edge to his voice.
Natasha made a sound of agreement. “I like her”
“She is most aggrevating” grunted Thor.
“Kinda got a feeling there’s a little history there, big guy” commented Tony, still staring at the door.
Thor slumped into a chair beside Clint and shrugged. “I admire her, truly. Few Midgardians could stand the trials she has faced and emerge victorious. She is a fierce defender of Earth, both in battle and in the halls of law and order which govern the galaxies”
Steve was staring at the door wonderingly. “I get the feeling that is not the last time we’re going to run into her,”
Clint shuddered. “I, for one, hope you’re wrong. So wrong. So very, very wrong,”