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A second day of rest and food
Revived the company,
And Beorn now seemed more inclined
Towards hospitality.
“So here you are!” Beorn picked up
And squeezed Bilbo with glee.
“Not eaten up by wargs or wolves,
Or wicked bears, I see!”
He poked the hobbit’s waistcoat in
A most unseemly way,
“This bunny’s getting fat again!
And tasty too, I’d say!”
Poor Bilbo shuddered at the thought
He’d be the bear’s next meal,
If Beorn’s bread and honey should
No longer have appeal.
And Beorn chuckled as he said,
“Don’t worry, little one.”
He grinned and poked Bilbo again,
“I’m only having fun.”
His pokes turned into pats, and then
(Before someone could help),
Beorn rubbed Bilbo’s belly and
The hobbit gave a yelp.
This didn’t faze Beorn, until
The hobbit’s eyes rolled back—
Then Beorn gaped in horror as
The hobbit’s face went slack.
“Ye gods!” Beorn cried, terrified,
“I’ve killed him! Oh, please, no!
What have I done?! Poor little one—
I swear, I didn’t know!”
The dwarves with weapons drawn, advanced—
With vengeance their intent.
“Stand down!” roared Gandalf to the dwarves,
“This was an accident!”
Beorn set Bilbo gently down;
His sobs of anguish grew.
(He didn’t know the truth, although
Gandalf and Thorin knew.)
And in the moment that ensued,
Gandalf caught Thorin’s eye.
The wizard gave a wink at him,
And Thorin gave a sigh.
“Well, this,” announced Gandalf to all,
“Was surely a surprise,
As no one could anticipate
Our hobbit’s sad demise.
And now we find that we must take
Our leave of you, Beorn.
We must, I say, be on our way.
We have no time to mourn.
We’ll take our hobbit with us, but
You must make recompense:
Some ponies, and a horse for me,
Food, blankets, and some tents.”
“Now, wait a minute,” Beorn said,
“Did he just take a breath?”
“Pay that no mind,” Gandalf replied,
“That’s what they do in death.”
And Beorn growled, “I may be big
And brutish, when a bear...
But as a man, I’m no dumb beast—
I’ll have you made aware.
So, wizard, treat me with respect;
Don’t lie. For on my word—”
Then suddenly, the bear-man froze
When Bilbo coughed and stirred.
“The bunny lives!” Beorn cried out
And grabbed him in a hug.
“I guess he was just mostly dead,”
Said Gandalf, with a shrug.
Now Bilbo felt he’d had enough—
He slipped from Beorn’s grasp.
Unsteadily, he backed away
And panted, with a gasp:
“I’m not a bunny! Not a toy!
So keep your hands off me!
I’m Bilbo Baggins, hobbit and
A person! Can’t you see?
His little chest was heaving as
He paused, indignantly.
He took a breath, to calm his nerves,
Then finished, quietly:
“And though you say you’re ‘having fun’
With what you do to me...
A hobbit is entitled to
A little dignity.”
And Bilbo’s words made Thorin grin—
He started to applaud,
Then dwarves and Gandalf, too, joined in—
Bilbo was overawed.
And Beorn, humbled (rightfully),
Knelt down to Bilbo’s height.
“Dear Master Baggins,” Beorn said,
“I have not been polite.”
Then to the wizard, Beorn turned:
“Now, Gandalf, though you lied
And made me grieve, I am relieved
That Bilbo hasn’t died.
But let me add: You, too, could learn
From what this hobbit said:
A thing or two about respect.”
(Gandalf inclined his head.)
“I’ll grant you all that you request—
Provisions, and the rest.
Till Mirkwood, I will guard you all
To help you on your quest.”
Once more, he turned to Bilbo and
Brought forth his hand to show,
And Bilbo flinched before that hand,
So Beorn murmured low:
"If you should pass this way again,
When finished with your quest,
You’ll find a welcome at my house—
You’ll always be my guest.”
Bilbo gazed up at Beorn’s hand.
And slowly, ever so...
He reached to clasp that mighty hand...
And felt their friendship grow.