Work Text:
It was Friday night, and Charlie Dalton (or, newly referred as Nuwanda) had just snuck back into his dorm after walking Tina and Gloria home.
Cameon was out with his parents for the weekend for whatever reason (Charlie assumed it was something academics-related), so that meant Charlie had the entire dorm to himself. Finally, he’d get some time to settle down and think about his conflicting feelings for an entire night. He changed into his pajamas, laid down on the bed, and closed his eyes as he rested the back of his head on his hands.
He thought about the girls he brought to the cave and those stupid poems for them. He thought about his ‘new name’ and how he was absolutely positive it would catch on. And he thought about how he put the article in the paper talking about how girls should be allowed in Welton in the name of the Dead Poets and how it would probably screw him over later..that was a problem for Monday, though.
Charlie also thought about that uncomfortable feeling that was in his gut that had been there the entire night. He wondered about where it came from and why it was there in the first place, and what it would take for it to go away. He hated how his mind was always full of racing and uncertain thoughts, no matter what he did.
His decompression time was quickly cut short, though, when he heard a knock at the door. At first he thought it was Cameron, who said he might’ve stopped back in after the meeting in case he forgot something (which Charlie heavily doubted). “Come in,” Charlie called reluctantly, fully aware that Cameron had a key to their (unfortunately) shared room.
When there was no answer, Charlie sighed before begrudgingly standing up and meandering towards the door. “Cam, c’mon, you’re really gonna make me do this?” He opened the door and froze when he saw his best friend, who was not Cameron, looking painfully exhausted and weak standing just a few feet away from him. He felt the feeling in his gut switch from uncomfortable to familiarly warm.
“K–Knoxious?”
In response, the taller, sweatier, bloodier boy just stepped closer to Charlie and laid his head down on his shoulder.
Charlie coughed as soon as Knox did so, the overwhelming stench of alcohol and body odor suffocating his nostrils. “What–Knoxious, what happened?”
Knox, again, stayed silent, this time wrapping his arms around the shorter boy.
Charlie felt the heat rise from his stomach up to the back of his neck and ears, but tried his best to push the returning yet confusing feeling down. He hugged his best friend back, despite the headache that was slowly starting to form due to the scent. Once it actually registered to Charlie that Knox was bleeding, though, he quickly pulled away to examine the boy.
He reached up and took Knox’s face in his hands, tilting it in different directions to see the damage from every possible angle. Once he got an okay evaluation, he grabbed Knox by the shirt, pulled him inside, and shut the door.
Next, he sat Knox down on his bed. “I’m gonna be right back alright? I just need to get you some water and a washcloth, it’ll take two seconds.”
With once again no response, Charlie did as he said. He went to the washroom and grabbed a cloth and a glass and filled it up with water before quickly returning. “I’m back! You should definitely get some water in your system, or–”
There Knox was, in the same spot Charlie left him in. The only difference was, he was starting to cry.
“Oh, Knoxious–” Charlie kicked the door behind him closed. He rushed to Knox’s side and set both things on the nightstand before sitting down next to the boy. “Knox, what happened?”
Knox once again hugged Charlie, this time, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and resting his head on Charlie’s. Through muffled sobs, he spoke. “I–I kissed her, Charlie.”
Charlie tried hard to not tighten his fingers around Knox’s arms. He kissed her? Didn’t she have a boyfriend? He swallowed hard, trying to swallow his feelings along with his saliva. “O–oh? You–you did?” He asked, not understanding why it was suddenly so hard to speak.
“Mhm..and it was the best goddam kiss I’ve ever had in my life.”
Charlie could’ve sworn someone twisted the knife in his stomach that felt so real. He decided to change the topic in an attempt to stop whatever this feeling was. “..Well…well that doesn’t explain the bloody nose,” he said, scooting away from Knox in an attempt to regulate his body heat (and emotions), which he could tell was higher than usual.
“I’m getting there….apparently, Chet saw me..God, I’m stupid,” Knox muttered, not even phased when Charlie pulled away. He began to just let the tears flow.
Now questioning ever pulling away in the first place, Charlie put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not stupid…”
“.....well..either way, I think you can tell what happened from there..”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah…but..was it worth it?” He asked, trying to shed some light for his friend despite nearly choking on the words as they came out.
Knox smiled before sniffling. “...’T was, yeah..” He said, slurring his words.
“Did she kiss you back? And what’d Chet do to her?” Charlie kept prying for the details, craving them, even when he knew they would hurt to hear.
“Oh–Charlie,” Knox smiled sadly. “I didn’t actually ‘kiss’ kiss her. I just kissed her, right on her forehead. While she was sleepin’….Oh, man. I’m such a perv…”
Charlie sighed as the tears began falling again. He thought about it though and suddenly smirked. He thought that maybe this would make Chris lose interest in Knox, and if that happened, they wouldn’t get together. He wasn’t sure why, but that made Charlie really happy.
But then he realized that he probably looked insane, smiling while his best friend was sobbing right next to him. So Charlie quickly tried to look empathetic as he put his other hand on Knox’s knee. “You’re not a pervert, Knox. You’re just drunk. But..yeah, I can’t say that that’s what Keating meant when he said to ‘seize the day,’” He laughed.
“You actually paid attention?” Knox asked, sniffling again as he wiped his tears.
Charlie shrugged. “What can I say, maybe Cam and Meeks rubbed off a bit on me.” This was better, just him and Knox talking without one mention of that girl.
“Where is Cameron?” Knox asked.
“Oh, he’s on some weekend-trip-thing with his parents.” Charlie rolled his eyes. “I doubt it’s any fun though. He left after the meeting we had tonight.”
“‘D I miss anything important?”
Charlie debated telling Knox about the article, but thought that it wasn’t the right time. He also considered telling him about Tina and Gloria, but eventually decided that that was a story for another day. Plus, the idea of Knox knowing that Charlie purposely brought two girls into the meeting just rubbed him the wrong way.
“Not besides my new name. From now on, you can call me Nuwanda.”
“‘S that have to do with the red on yer face?” Knox asked, rubbing some of it off with his thumb.
The touch woke Charlie up and also reminded him that he did indeed have stuff on his face. “Oh, uh–yes, as a matter of fact, it does..” He remembered that Knox also had something on his face, though it didn’t look nearly as good as the lipstick. So he grabbed the water from the nightstand, poured some on the washcloth, then handed the glass to Knox. “I recommend drinking some, just to get an actually healthy liquid in your body.”
Knox did so, taking a few small sips and setting the glass on the floor before his face was taken by Charlie.
“Sorry, this might hurt a bit..” Charlie warned before placing the damp part of the cloth under Knox’s nose, scrubbing the softest he could.
The dried blood pulling on his face didn’t feel great, for sure, but Knox loved the cool sensation against his hot skin. He stayed quiet and calmly let Charlie continue.
“...You’re lucky Cameron’s not here..and that I let you in at all. Just ‘cause I’m your best friend doesn’t mean I’m automatically meant to play doctor when you’re drunk,” Charlie said, smiling softly as he finished up with the washcloth.
“..T’s not?” Knox asked, half joking and half realistically.
“No!” Charlie laughed. “No. Why couldn’t you have gone up and knocked on what’s-his-name’s door? Your roommate?”
“Oh, Hopkins? I dunno…I didn’t feel like it. I like you better anyway. With you, everythin’ feels…safe. Supported. Cared about, loved..I’d choose you anyday.”
Charlie felt his heart skip a beat at Knox’s words. He was sure his cheeks were red as a tomato, but he didn't care. He knew that Knox was probably just rambling on since he had too much to drink…but, still, those words sent goosebumps down Charlie’s spine. “...do you mean it, Knox..?”
Knox nodded softly. “Yeah..Yeah, I do…”
Charlie didn’t even know what to do. Only for a moment, though, because soon after Knox finished talking, he began coughing–gagging. Charlie quickly got up and ran to get the trash can. He soon realized that it would only hold large, solid objects though, since it didn’t have anything inside to keep liquid contained.
“Shit! Do not puke on my bed!” He yelled before realizing that there was a bathroom just down the hall. He grabbed Knox’s arm and practically ran, dragging the stumbling into one of the stalls just in time. Charlie cringed at the sounds but tried his best to ignore it as he rubbed Knox’s back.
Eventually Knox slowed to dry heaving, then to just panting for breath. He cleared his throat before lazily looking up at Charlie. “The water did not agree with me..”
Charlie laughed softly. “Are you alright?”
Knox sighed and turned his head to look at the toilet before slowly turning his head back to Charlie with a blank, slightly annoyed face.
“Yeah…well, do you wanna go back to my room and get some comfier, not disgusting clothes on?”
“Please..”
“Okay.”
After some debating if he was done or not, Knox made his way back to the room with the help of Charlie. “I feel horrible…” He groaned as they walked into Charlie’s dorm.
“Then let’s get you changed, dumbass..” Charlie sat Knox down on his bed once more, who pulled off his tie before fumbling with the first button of his shirt. He tried for a solid period of time before throwing up his hands in frustration. “Curse my drunken fingers!”
Charlie laughed loudly before shaking his head. “It’s okay, Knoxious…” He reached for the bottom button of Knox’s shirt and successfully undid it, before eventually undoing all the rest of the buttons too. “There, see? Was that so bad?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Just embarrassing, ‘s all,” Knox sighed, taking off his now unbuttoned shirt.
Charlie thought it was odd how the blood rose to his cheeks just from seeing Knox without a shirt. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before, no, he’d seen Knox and basically every other Welton boy topless in the washrooms. But maybe it was different this time because it was just him and Knox, close in proximity. He found the drunken boy...tempting, almost, partially because Charlie knew he probably wouldn't remember tonight anyway. What was tempting about Knox, exactly, though? He couldn’t say.
Charlie quickly zoned back into reality when his thoughts became that abstract. He decided distracting his mind would be the best thing to do, so he quickly and desperately walked over to his drawers to try and find some clothes that would fit the taller boy.
First, Charlie picked out some looser gym shorts that he often slept in, and soon after got a hoodie that he’d actually stolen from Knox beforehand. He assumed he wouldn’t notice though, on account the boy could barely even walk straight.
“Okay,” Charlie said, tossing the clothes directly into Knox’s face. “Put these on.”
“‘S this my hoodie?” Knox asked, honestly used to Charlie throwing things towards him.
“You…you weren’t supposed to notice that,” Charlie said, laughing as he held up the hoodie so that Knox could get into it easier.
Knox shook his head. “It’s too hot…”
“Okay..well do you at least want my shorts?”
Knox nodded and stood up–at least, he tried to, forgetting that he had nearly lost all sense of balance.
“Woah, Knox–” Charlie laughed, helping the boy stay upright.
“I forgot..”
“Really? I couldn’t tell, you were actually really smooth.”
“I was?” Knox’s eyes lit up,
“No, Knox, you were not.” Charlie laughed again, which made the other boy pout as he finally got enough balance to stand on his own.
“Shut up, Charlie..an’ help me get this damn belt off,” Knox said, angrily taking his hands off of the buckle he’d been fidgeting with.
“You want..oh, pffft, yeah. Okay,” Charlie said, as if it wasn’t making every part of his body shudder. He took one step closer to Knox and, with shaky hands, undid the belt buckle. He didn’t understand why it was so hard to manage. ‘It’s just something he needs my help with, nothing else. Nothing more,’ Charlie thought over and over again.
When he was done, he looked up at Knox, who was already looking down at him, and as soon as they made eye contact, Charlie forced himself to step back as he looked away. “I’ll, uh–...I’ll let you do..that part..” Charlie gestured to Knox’s lower half, but didn’t dare to look anywhere near it. Instead, he decided to suddenly be interested in his lamp’s design, which was in the complete opposite direction of Knox.
And that’s where Charlie remained looking…at least until he heard a large thump behind him, followed by a weak “Ow…”
Charlie turned around to see Knox, on the ground, only with his boxers on and his borrowed shorts only around one of his legs. “Holy shit, Knox,” he laughed as he pointed at the boy, trying very hard to only look at his face.
“Don’t just stand there, help me..” Knox whined, not even moving from his position.
“Fine, fine…” Charlie offered out his hands and, once Knox took them, pulled the boy up. He continued holding on, though, mostly to help him keep his balance.
Mostly.
Soon after Knox got ahold of his footing he let go of Charlie’s hands and finished pulling up his shorts before sitting back down on the bed. “There..thanks, Char.”
“Char?” Charlie asked, standing in front of Knox.
“Oh...l did say that, didn’t I?”
Charlie was sure it was because he was drunk..but he swore he saw the tiniest hint of red on Knox’s cheeks as he said that, which (of course) Charlie naturally reflected. He smirked slightly as he nodded, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah..you did.”
Knox smiled a bit and looked opened his mouth as if he were going to speak, before his unsaid words slowly turned into a yawn. “Oh, man…”
“You tired?” Charlie asked, trying to hide the yawn trying to escape his own mouth.
“Yeah..” Knox muttered before curling right where he was..
“Woah, Knox–this is my bed,” Charlie said as he sat down next to the boy, gently pushing him towards the edge of the bed.
Knox just made a noise, a mix between words and just plain whining, and didn’t move from his spot.
Charlie sighed, trying his best to act annoyed as he slid under the blanket (or at least tried to, given there was an entire person weighing them down). Soon after he got comfortable, though, Knox sluggishly crawled up to the head of the bed where Charlie was, got under the blanket as well, and rested his head down on Charlie’s chest, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy like a life-sized stuffed animal. Once he was there, Knox let out a soft and comfortable sigh.
Charlie froze, eyes widening as he realized what was happening. He didn’t know why he cared so much, after all, this was only his best friend. Charlie figured that he was taking this too seriously, so he tried his best to pretend as if he wasn’t affected at all by the boy on his chest. Slowly, he positioned his own arms around the boy, which just so happened to fit perfectly between the creases of his upper half.
He felt a bit silly at first, especially since he’d never actually done this with someone (let alone someone who made his heart race), but eventually, he got used to it. It was actually..it was nice. He just wasn’t sure if he actually wanted Knox to remember this or not.
“Based off of..this,” Charlie said, gesturing to Knox with one arm, “I’m assuming you weren’t the most diligent getting back here..how’d no one see you?”
When he thought he heard words, Charlie quickly realized that what he heard was actually snoring, coming from Knox.
Charlie thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. Knox was always pretty attractive whenever he wasn’t talking about that ‘Chris’, and now he was here, snuggling right up against Charlie..it was perfect.
Charlie’s thoughts turned sour again, though, when he remembered everything that took place at the party. He’d always dreamed of taking Knox to his first one, pouring his first drink, dragging him up onto a table to dance when they’d both had too much to drink..but now, he couldn’t. And the somehow worse part was that, in the midst of all of that..Knox had kissed Chris. Not on the lips, on the forehead, while she was sleeping. That hurt Charlie, deep down in his gut, and he didn’t even know why.
As he drifted off to sleep, Charlie hoped that, soon, all of his feelings would make sense.