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The metallic surface around his body didn’t feel claustrophobic, dirty or suffocating even the lack of space around him. Its flawlessness and the wide view that allowed to see what was beyond made his chaotic heart have a break, however, whenever he thought about it too much, it skipped. The possibility of returning to that awful, tiny and lightless place wasn’t real. He was safe, but his heart and mind didn’t process that yet.
Since he woke up in that spaceship, his mind could try to remember what peace was. Yet, his twisted, distrustful brain complained each time he relaxed and sighed, and closed his eyes to rest. The same complaint every passing second: You’re not safe here. It drained him. You’re not safe here. It got to his mind and made him tremble.
It was an eternal cycle. It wouldn’t stop, no matter what he tried to do.
He clinged to what he had near, to reality, to what his hands touched, to what his eyes saw, to what surrounded his body warmly. It kept him from drowning in his own mind. It kept him from chaos and tears. The stars. The cold metallic surface. The warm blanket someone who became special had tightened over his shoulders, avoiding his trembles and shooing his fears.
“Uh…” what sounded like an awkward announcement of arrival, made his unsure eyes move from the quietness and brightness of the stars, to his personal star. Angel fitted him better. He probably was alive only thanks to him. “I made you tea… I thought it would help you relax…”
Considering how he freaked out and woke up between yells, panting and crying from a terrible nightmare he didn’t want to remember― choking, drowning in blood, crying, but being unable to be heard, dying…―, it was the best Grace could think of. Perhaps sitting next to him and making him company.
“Thank you…” it was barely audible. His voice was still hoarse from the yelling and crying.
A slow movement of his hand to hold the warm tea cup didn’t hide the trembling of his hand. He still felt fragile and vulnerable, and Grace noticed it with just a silent glance, choosing not to say anything because he felt it would be best... Grace pulled a few strands out of his face, seeing his eyes reddened, the aftermath of crying almost thirty long minutes in his arms, also the melted left side of his face with sharp teeth like fangs covered by the dark strands was a habit none of them knew when it started. Not long, though.
What an irony that being in his arms and stargazing were two apparent solutions that took a bit of time to discover, but once they did, was like a ritual none of them complained about. A casual comforting and cuddling posture.
Simon often felt like a burden, but Grace’s kindness and care in all his actions dissipated that painful thought as fast as it appeared in his mind. And it made him breathe lighter knowing that he was safe next to that man. There wasn’t a single molecule of vileness within him, only peace and an undeniable affection for giving what he was also lacking since years of solitude in space. That tender willingness to give him the warm presence of humanity― he knew he also needed.
“Simon feels better, question.” chirped Rocky, carefully approaching them.
“Yes, thank you…” still his voice was barely audible.
“Good, good, good… Rocky worried. Grace worried. Grace cried. Grace cries a lot lately.”
“I-I didn’t cry. And I don’t even cry that much!” complained Grace staring at Rocky with an accusative stare, then turned towards Simon, ashamed. “I’m sorry…”
To his surprise a subtle smile could be perceived in Simon’s face, shaking his head slowly. The first days they were all together, Simon skipped and winced whenever he heard a loud voice or noise, scared of what may happen to him, scared of him the aim of the noise, of being attacked or hurt in any possible way; luckily, the dread to loud noises and voices was progressively and slowly disappearing the more time they spent together. But it never ended, and Grace never knew how Simon could react to a loud voice. He didn’t want to startle him.
Simon’s eyes moved towards the stars again as he peacefully sipped his tea. The preciousness of his bright eyes while seeing the stars made Grace's heart skip and turn his eyes aside.
“Grace cries a lot, a lot, a lot” said Rocky with certain obliviousness of the moment the two of them were having, even if there were no words, no meaningful stares of physical contact.
“That’s not true.”
“Rocky is true, Rocky is always true” chirped happily, because Grace’s face was getting redder and redder whenever Simon looked at him, taking slow sips of tea.
Still remember his first reaction to Rocky. It still amazed him in a way he couldn’t describe. A talking rock was the first thought he had, terrified by the fact that it was a living rock. Nevertheless, there was curiosity and an adorable excitement within the creature about him. At first he called him new male human, new male human in loop. It was funny thinking about it in retrospect. A sigh escaped his lips.
“Can you give us a little privacy, Rocky?” wondered Simon after a few seconds, which tensed Grace.
“Yes. Rocky can. But Rocky will hear Simon and Grace anyway. Simon wants Rocky to leave anyway, question.”
“Yes, please…” asked a bit embarrassed to be too violent, but Rocky just chirped.
“Oh” chirped, as if he was hitted by the realisation. “Rocky gets it. Simon and Grace will mate. Rocky leaves them mate” inside his xenonite ball, Rocky stumbled away from the place. “Rocky wishes Grace good luck!” An undeniable laughter echoed as Rocky left. Simon didn’t expect that answer, and of course not what he said after it.
“Oh my God…” Grace was burning in shame. “I’m so sorry…” yet, he couldn’t deny he was mesmerised by hearing him laughing.
“It was funny…” sounded like a justification as he left the tea cup next to him on the metallic platform he was sitting and leaning against the wall to clean his forming tears from the laughter. “He’s so funny sometimes…” sighed, took the tea cup again. “He’s a great company…”
“Yes…” nodded slowly, losing his eyes in the direction Rocky disappeared, then sighed, leaning back towards the metallic frame, the same way as Simon was. “Most of the times it’s inopportune, given this circumstances”
“That’s actually what makes it so funny…” Grace noticed the fixed gaze, and rested his blues over him. “It helps quite a bit to not think about anything…” a brief silence, a long sip to finish the tea, then let his head back to the metallic frame and move his dark eyes towards the space and the bright stars. “The same way they do it…”
The stars… Grace nodded slowly.
Simon left the cup next to him again, and arranged the blanket over his body a bit better, noticing Grace’s awkward neck scratch by the corner of his eye. Then leaned forward, folding his legs and lifted his hand towards him. Grace had drawn his knees towards his chest, the subtle touch of Simon’s hand― still warm due to the tea― over his knee made him flinch out of surprise. Simon pulled his hand back as if he touched a burning surface, but didn’t break eye contact.
“Your presence is what comforts me the most…” dared to whisper after a long stare between them.
Grace leaning forward, gently wrapping Simon’s hand between his. The touch made them both breathless. A simple touch like that. Feeling each other’s skin beneath their own. However soft it was. However gentle it was. Since they'd been together, it seemed almost a tradition to make each other's attention with gentle touches, or with small, quiet sounds. Especially when they were face to face, their touch felt particularly affectionate and warm. It wasn't passionate in any way, just peaceful and pleasant in every sense. Comforting at its finest.
“I’m glad you think that…” sighed deeply.
After that, a welcoming invitation as he slowly lifted his arms to his sides for a hug was all they needed after that relaxing tea. Simon leaned forward and crawled to lean against him. It wasn't a necessary movement, but rather a slow, casual one, settling in and also avoiding disturbing Grace, while at the same time not wanting to lose sight of the immense space and the enormous, shimmering magnitude of the stars that surrounded them. He ended up lying back with his back against his chest, between his legs, and with the blanket that covered him, ended up covering Grace and himself in a tender, comforting, and warm embrace.
Simon sighed, snuggling as subtle caresses on his hair moved his long strands out of his face, kissing his hairline made him almost purr.
“You make me feel safe here…” muttered with his eyes half-closed. So comforted, warm and peaceful.
“I’m glad I do…” smiled.
It wasn’t meaningless. The significance of those words and how special they felt for him. Grace was so thankful that he managed to find a safe place and space for Simon. He really wanted him to feel safe after all he went through. Simon truly deserved a moment of peace.
THE END