Chapter Text
It was raining. It felt like it did that a lot these days. Or maybe Purple’s pessimistic mind just noticed it more often. But sometimes it really felt like the world itself was just doing its best to add to their misery. They had just been walking back from the corner store when it started to rain. Thoroughly soaking their purple fur as they trotted towards the entrance of their apartment building. The brown bag they carried was similarly drenched. They pushed their way through the doors and had to fight to keep their meager groceries from falling out the bottom. It was a miracle they were able To even get groceries. Basically having to rely on donations from friends and family or doing odd jobs here and there for people.
Unfortunately they were blacklisted from any forms of real employment. Which was the fault of their so called ‘best friend’ who threw them under the bus for their own gain. They’ve been stuck in this shitty existence of just barely getting by for at least two or three years now. It’s hard to tell. The days start to blend together when you’re stuck in the same routine day after day. Everything blends together..
Purple sets their groceries on the table, they’ll put them away later for now.. they need a drink as they pull out a bottle of cheap alcohol and bring it with them to their couch. Guilt filling them as they spent money given to them for groceries on alcohol. They weren’t an alcoholic but things were especially getting rough lately. They just needed to take the edge off as they poured themselves a glass and sat back. Looking at their T.V blankly as they tilted their head back and drank.
They grumble to themselves as they see a commercial for Mira looking for new recruits for their space program and quickly swap the channel. Instead settling for some random show for young beans. They didn’t even pay that much attention to it, mostly using it as background noise as they found themselves downing another glass. It tasted horrible, they were never just a straight alcohol kind of mate usually preferring to have more fruity or fancy drinks but hell if they could afford that now.
They space out thinking about their family. All mostly estranged except for their mother. And even then their pod parent wasn’t exactly their favorite person in the world. But as one of the few people supporting them still they couldn’t exactly burn that bridge with them. But that often meant being subjected to their bullshit. Their face scrunches slightly, they down another shot. Sinking into the couch more as they do. Groaning softly as they try to wash the thoughts of what they’d have to say seeing them in such a state.
‘Man are they really still texting you? Tell them you’re fine! You’re an adult or whatever! They've got nothing to worry about, you're just doing a job!’ The sound of Red’s voice filled their ears as they tried to paw their phone out of their hand. Their pod parent had been texting nonstop asking for Purple to come home.
‘Maybe you’re right..’ they say as they close their phone and focus more on their friend.
The memory stung..making them slam back another drink feeling a bit light headed at this point as they were probably getting more thoroughly drunk then they originally had planned. Maybe not their best idea as their thoughts start to spiral into thinking about Red.. about the friendship they used to have. They get up out of their seat and stumble a bit.
They had something…they had something really good together. And Red had to go and fuck it up. Now what? Purple stumbles their way into the bathroom and catches a glimpse of themselves in the mirror. And you’re the fool for falling for their charms you should have seen from the start how much of a coward they were. They slap their forehead with a hand and groan.
They looked…messy, fur out all over the place, tired bags under their eye and they were thin. Too often they went without a proper meal because they couldn’t afford it. They lean over the sink a bit and breathe heavily. Maybe part of this is their fault… they could have just taken the deal. Signed the NDA and be up there with Red, living life to the fullest. Stupid. Stupid red stupid Mira stupid Purple.
But would they be happy? Not any happier than they are now.. They’d probably be more miserable knowing that they were just a Mira dog. So at least this way they were poor and starving but kept their morals. That’s all that mattered.
Morals that made me feel nothing but misery.. Maybe it would be better if I just wasn’t here anymore..It’s not like anyone would care if they did die..
They snap out of their thoughts as that one goes through them, their visor widening as the thought scares them out of their drunken spiral. And they back up bumping the wall of their bathroom. They- did they- were they really?
Did I really think that about myself?
The realization of the feeling sorta hits them all at once and they feel…scared? At the information that they didn’t actually care if they lived or died. That wasn’t normal..They weren’t normal. They stumble out of the bathroom tripping over themselves and tumbling to the ground with a yelp. They feel tears gather in their visor as lay there for a second taking a sharp inhale of breath.
They had to talk to someone..get these thoughts out and have someone tell them it was going to be okay. They shuffle on all fours over to their couch and fish their phone out of the crack. Looking through their contacts quickly. Burned bridge after burned bridge sending a sick feeling through them as they realized they had no one.. No one at all.
They were just about to start hyperventilating when they land on one contact in specific
Still labeled with a fond nickname. ‘Redsie’
All these years and Red still hasn’t blocked them… No nonono Purple you can NOT be sad drunk calling Red of all people! They’d lord it over you forever and just make the situation worse. But their heart hadn’t stopped pounding in their chest as they grip their phone tighter, a hand going to their chest. Their breathing comes in quick as they think back to that awful thought…Clicking the call button before they even gave it a third thought.
It rings.. And rings……and rings.
Before they hear Red’s voice..
“You’re calling Captain Red of the Skeld! Haha! I can’t reach my phone right now but if it’s important feel free to leave a-” They hang on the voice mail up and toss their phone to the side sobbing to themselves. It was such a Red thing to mention being a captain in their fucking voicemail. It made their heart ache, they were so stupid to think that they would ever pick up.
They pull their knees to their chest and cry to themselves as the rain picks up outside..drowning out the sound of the t.v. Their thoughts spiraling and consuming them..