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The Thunderbolts team wasn't your typical heroes already, but what you didn't see is just how unnormal this team was. Take John Walker for example, has anyone ever had such a glorious fall from grace? The public knew him as the almost hero, the one who could have been a saviour. But the Thunderbolts? They saw him in many ways, someone who was too loud, too egotistic, but someone who cared quietly, but what they could all agree on was his pure stupidity. Sure in battle he could act fast and make the right choices, but in everyday life when adrenaline was low. He was nothing more than a manchild.
If you ever needed proof, this day would be a prime example. Walker had been put in charge of that week's shopping, a poor choice by everyone involved really. As when Alexi had chosen to write down “enough watermelons to feed an army” in classic Red Guardian humour he hadn’t taken in Walker's ability, or lack there of, to sense a joke in writing. And thus when the shopping trip was over and the team was helping bring in the groceries, what can only be described as “wtf did you even do Walker?" level chaos ensued.
“Walker?” Ava said slowly, with confusion etched on her face “Why did you buy so many watermelons?”
“Cause Alexi asked obviously” John replied in a matter of fact tone.
Yelena sighed, three fingers pinching the bridge of her nose before stating
“He was joking Walker! He meant like three or four, not…” She trailed off staring at the many bags stuffed with various sizes of watermelons, unable to even comprehend such a number.
“72?!” Bucky exclaimed as the others filled him, Bob and Alexi in on Walker's happenings.
“Why on God's glorious green earth would we need 72 watermelons?” Bucky's tone had traces of astonishment but lacked some form of surprise. As if it was not out of character for Walker to buy an overly large amount of fruit.
“Well Alexi said enough to feed an army…” Walker replied sheepishly
“No, no, no. Do not push the blame onto Red Guardian, John.” Alexi said through a mouthful of chips. “I was just trying to spice up boring shopping trip.”
“Well now you've spiced up our pantry.” Ava said, kicking one of the watermelon packed bags.
There was an outcry of upset from Walker to see his so cleverly hunted fruit be violently attacked.
As it turned out Walker had gone to three grocery stores and almost completely wiped out their stock of watermelons. After a rather loud discussion they had all decided that John couldn't go shopping without supervision ever again. They had moved onto another loud discussion on what to do with so many watermelons. The current winner was Bob’s plan of making them into drinks followed by Ava's idea of throwing them off the tower and hoping that no one would get hit. As the conversation dissolved into an argument and the night got later Bob left to go to bed and the rest of the team felt a small wave of guilt wash over them.
“This all could have been avoided if Walker had enough brain cells to rub together” Bucky sighed as the argument circled back for the fifth time.
“Well sorry, maybe if Alexi had been clearer in his communication I wouldn't have bothered to spend two hours of my life buying these stupid watermelons.”
“Ay you're trying to blame me again! I have done nothing wrong!”
“Yeah Walker you just have the intelligence of a five year old who was homeschooled and has never met another human being!”
The last comment from Ava seemed to be the tipping point as now everyone was yelling and no one could hear a single word of it.
“Enough!” Bucky finally yelled after minutes that felt like hours of argument.
“This has gone too far ok, Walker, you gotta take accountability, I know you didn't mean to but you made a mistake.”
Bucky's words were followed by silence and an absolute death stare from Walker.
“What if I don’t huh? What’ll you do, tell your boyfriend?”
More staring. Followed by Bucky turning and slamming the door on his way out, like a kid leaving to make a point. Yelena hit John hard in the chest.
“What the actual fuck Walker” Yelena hissed “You can’t say that.”
“Why?” John replied, with an air of confusion not malice.
“Because, dipshit, he hasn't told us, remember?” Ava spat back.
“He doesn’t have to! It's freaking obvious, have you seen how he and Sam look at each other?”
“Still Walker, that's kinda homophobic…” Yelena had more care in her voice, as if reminding him rather that telling him off
“WHAT?! ME HOMOPHBIC? How can I be homophobic when…” Walker trailed off, realising what he said.
“When what Walker?” Ava pried, all the others were looking at him while John's face flashed red.
“Nothing” he murmured. “It’s nothing”
Alexi slouched back in his chair
“And here I was thinking US Agent here had himself a boyfriend” He sighed, clearly disappointed in the lack of information regarding John's love life.
“Well ever since Olvia left I’ve been thinking, but it’s nothing guys, really”
There was a doubtful silence followed by Bob knocking over a cup while stumbling into the room.
“No, it's not nothing” Bob stammered and looked at the floor while wringing his hands.
“No Bob you don’t have to” Walker's voice softened in the usual way when they spoke. “I’ve got this”
“No you really don't, Walker” Yelena said, sitting back with her arms crossed. “I wanna hear what Bob has to say”
“Well you see.. Walker and I are uh…” Bob was trying to gather his words but they kept slipping right back out. Ava and Yelena shared a look and Alexi was slowly munching on a watermelon, intently listening. Yelena got up to comfort Bob who seemed to be growing more and more panicked.
“It's okay Bob, we had guessed.” Bob relaxed and hugged Yelena back and murmured his thanks
“Yeah Walker, you really can’t talk about Sam and Bucky being obvious” Ava said while elbowing him in the ribs. Walker sighed and glanced at Alexi who was wiping the watermelon off from around his mouth. He got up and embraced John in a hug that would have most certainly broke his bones without the serum.
After some congrats and more teasing the others relaxed back while Bob tried to make a watermelon and mint drink with the bountiful supply.
“Should we call Bucky?” Walker offered, “I feel quite bad.”
“With reason” Ava added in.
“Mr Soldier might be with Captain America, and we don’t want to disturb them now do we?” Alexi said knowingly. The others snickered and Yelena added
“What are you implying there huh?”
“I’m not implying anything.” Alexi held his hands in defense “Just maybe we leave them alone for a bit.”
The mood had definitely lightened here, with Bob working away, soon joined by Yelena as she noticed that Bob's knife work was shoddy, and the others laughing around the table as they took it in turns to try and break open a watermelon with their bare hands. But in a nearby park Bucky was seething while Sam tried to comfort him, semi successfully.
“No Sam you don’t understand, seventy-two watermelons, seventy-two!” Bucky was pacing in front of the bench where Sam sat, pretending he had heard Bucky say the same thing ten times over already.
“And then, you should've heard him, Sam you would've wanted to smack him across the face.” Sam thought that something else was off as Bucky wasn't behaving normally, like this had just set off a bomb that had been ticking in his brain. Sam stood up and stopped Bucky’s endless pacing by inviting him to sit.
“What's actually up Buck?” Sam asked softly, his eyes gazing at Bucky's which were staring off into the distance again.
“It's Walker.” Bucky said half heartedly gesturing with his metal hand.
“No, I mean what’s actually wrong.” Sam said, reaching an arm out, he was then pulled into an embrace as Bucky’s face buried into his shoulder.
“It’s everything, Sam, I can’t do this. How am I supposed to keep them all safe? All I can ever do is hurt people, it’s what I was destined to do, to be. Nothing more than a huge fuckup, a weapon people can use.” Tears were melting into the fabric of Sam's jumper but he hugged even tighter as Bucky continued.
“Even after everything, I still worry that one day I’ll break and everything HYDRA put in me will come back, and I’ll hurt people again. Sam I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be me anymore.”
After many more minutes of Bucky’s quiet sobbing and Sam holding him so close it seemed like he was scared he would lose him, because he was, Sam spoke up.
“It is tiring and it’ll take everything from you. But I need you here Buck, and I need you to be you. The you who has helped me, the you who has saved me. The you who I love.”
Bucky sat up and whipped away his tears and his pained blue eyes met Sam's loving brown. And then he knew, no matter who he was, what he had done or would do, no matter what, they would be side by side. For that Bucky could never express his thanks, but as Sam pulled him into a kiss that would mend his broken soul, it was clear. Clearer than the dark night sky speckled with stars.
That they had each other. And they never needed anything more.