Chapter Text
Minisode One
(Jack and Ralph sit on a couch in the middle of the jungle. Ralph has his arm around Jack, who stares intensely into the distance)
Director (offscreen): Why don’t you tell us about yourselves?
Ralph: Ah, yes. Well, I’m Ralph and this is my husband, Jack. Do you want to tell the viewers about yourself, honey? (said as if he is talking to a very small child)
Jack (muttering): kill the beast cut his throat bash him in kill the beast cut his throat bash him in KILL THE BEAST CUT HIS THROAT BASH HIM IN KILL THE-
(Jack repeats this for exactly five minutes. Ralph is… uncomfortable. To say the least.)
Ralph (clearing throat): UM! Jack, honey. I think that’s enough of that, don’t you? Why don’t you, um, uhh…(his face lights up)... go hunting! (claps hands together) Yes! Go do that!
Jack, suddenly alert: Hunt?! Hunt!
(Jack runs off on all fours)
(Ralph watches him, smiling until Jack is gone, then he turns back to the camera and his smile turns uneasy, worried.)
Ralph: It’s been hard on him you know. Living on the island. It has been for all of us, but especially him.
Intercut of footage. Jack, on all fours, races past Piggy and a few other boys making a sandcastle and knocks it over, screaming MEAAAAT. / Ralph and Simon are making a shelter and just put the last bit in place, Jack runs into it, again on all fours screaming MEAT, and knocks it over. / several more footage of Jack screaming MEAAAT while running on all fours play.
Ralph (defensive): Oh- he’s not that bad!
More footage plays. It really is that bad.
(Ralph opens his mouth as if to rebuke, but closes it when he realises he doesn't have anything to say. This continues for roughly half a minute.)
(Ralph folds his hands across his body. Pouts and looks away from the camera.)
Ralph: Hmff