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Pidge sighed. Another day aboard a ship of idiots.
“There is NO WAY you would be Iron Man!” Lance argued with Keith, as he often did, “I make a more convincing Tony Stark.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?!” Keith shouted back.
“Iron Man is a suave ladies man and no one fits that description better than me!”
“What about Shiro, he's pretty suave.” Keith pointed to Shiro who was seated on the couch drinking from a mug. He wasn't as invested in this debate as the boys were, however, they were interrupting his down time.
“Guys...” he sighed, clearly exasperated.
“He can't. He's Captain America, obviously.” Lance's outburst comes before his brain could process what Keith said. “Wait... you think Shiro is more suave than I am?”
“He charmed a space princess!”
“Guys!” Shiro raised his voice, a blush having risen to his face. Both Keith and Lance turned their heads to see their leader annoyed and more than a little embarrassed. “Why is this such a huge deal with you two?”
Lance turned his head away in defiance, not wanting to show Shiro his own embarrassment. Keith, however, looked down, shamefaced. As much as they didn't want to admit it, they both respected the older paladin. He was always pushing them to be as a family. With Lance being away from his family and Keith completely lacking one, they felt terrible whenever they upset Shiro. They stood in silence and refused to confess their inner feelings. Pidge spoke up in their place.
“I think they're bored.” Everyone's heads searched out for their missing teammate. “I'm over here.” Their eyes turned to look behind the couch where Pidge had tucked herself into a snug pillow fort made from some Altean pillows that she snatched from Coran's supply.
“How long have you been down there?” Shiro asked slowly.
“Doesn't matter. My point is that we've not come across any alien civilizations or Galra activity for days. And, as much as we'd all like them to, Keith and Lance are unable to sleep when they're bored like Hunk can.”
“I see.” Silence falls again as everyone takes in what Pidge had just said.
“Pidge is Doctor Strange.” said Keith. Lance hummed in agreement.
Pidge turned back around to the console that was in her lap. “I am satisfied with that conclusion.”
“Okay, so then why am I Captain America?” inquired Shiro.
“You're a natural born leader who manages to lead four teenagers into battle.” Keith's claim is greeted with Lance nodding in approval.
“Yeah, dude. You're like 'Captain Voltron,' leader of the paladins. You own the 'Man Out Of Time' image.
Shiro felt awkward having such praise aimed at him and redirected the conversation. “And... Pidge?”
Lance talked first. “Pidge is smart, always got the answers to problems.”
“Technology is like your superpower. It comes so naturally to you.” Keith chimed in.
“AND! You're also a bit strange.”
“Rude,” scoffed Pidge, agitated by Lance's statement.
“What, you don't think so? How about you jump out of your pillow fort and prove me wrong?”
“Not worth it.”
“Oooooh! Not willing to leave your lair, Doctor Strange?”
Shiro was beginning to grow more invested in what the boys had thought about each other. He could already tell that this discussion was forming common ground between them. It surprised him how much he enjoyed watching them carry on a conversation where they smile and laugh instead of curse each others existence.
“So would Hunk be the Hulk because...”
“Too easy.” both Keith and Lance interjected.
“Hunk doesn’t act enough like the Hulk, he's too squishy. And I mean squishy as in emotionally. That wasn't a fat joke.”
“They know that, Lance.” Keith picked up from there. “Plus he isn't smart in the same way that Dr. Banner is, he's more 'hands-on' rather than 'theoretical,' and getting him angry is like trying to pick a fight with a butterfly... that has motion sickness.”
“He's more like Hawkeye. He prefers sandwiches and naps over fighting and bravado.”
No one opposed Lance on that point. They didn't wait for Shiro's lead to continue.
“Allura is Nick Fury because she's pretty much our boss.”
“Wait, Keith! Shouldn't she be Black Widow or something because she's a girl.”
“Sexist.” Pidge pipped up.
“No, she's Nick Fury because she calls most of the shots around here.” Lance's face became quizzical as he thought about what Keith said.
“Would that make Coran the Jarvis of the group?”
“No, Jarvis is just an AI. King Alfor is Jarvis.”
“I KNOW! Coran can be Black Widow!”
Keith sighed and glanced at Lance with tentative eyes.
“Humor me. Why?”
“I think he secretly enjoys to torture us with during training simulations.” Lance whispers and Keith doesn’t argue.
“That's... interesting.” Lance was preening at rendering Keith in a thoughtful silence. Pidge leaned up in her seat just long enough whisper a message into Shiro's ear.
“It's like we're not even here.”
“I know, isn't it adorable?” Shiro replied in a similar hushed tone. It was obvious to him that the boys were enamored with each other.
“No, it isn't.” Raised voice called their attention back to the boys.
“There is no way I'm Thor!”
“It's your hair, dude. You have such a severe case of flowing locks that you're a walking shampoo commercial.” Keith and Lance were at it again, fighting over who got to be Iron Man.
“I don't have a hammer.”
“You have a sword, that's close enough.”
“That's in no way close enough!”
“I swear on my Lion... if they kiss... I will kill them.” Pidge's threat brought amusement from Shiro. However, it soon became concern.
“You think you are on the same level as Stark. Prove it! Seduce me right now. Seduce the pants off of me.” demanded Lance.
“You don't think I can?!”
Shiro covered his ears as Pidge shrieked and threw the remnants of her pillow fort at the two nerds on deck.
Pidge was on a deck full of idiots.