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Rafayel has all the solutions in the world.
That’s what you think as you stare at your favorite book’s state. A hardback that’s been loved for years suddenly collapsed in the middle of a re-read, the spine and the front cover falling straight onto your lap while your hands are left to grasp the rest of the pages that threaten to fall apart too. Not the best thing to happen when you’re already about to pull your hairs off of your head, but you figure that a certain artist could help you fix this book.
He’s fixed many things of yours that he hasn’t broken. Surely he can fix this book and make it look like it’s brand new, right?
With the burning sun as your witness, you take a deep breath before knocking on Rafayel’s front door. He isn’t expecting you until next week for an exhibition, and frankly, you have no idea what he’s up to today. He could open the door and the first thing you would see behind him is a ton of paint cans and unfinished canvases, or maybe he’d have other visitors who sit where you usually sit.
Or, maybe he wouldn’t open the door at all.
On your third knock, the door does open, and the first thing you see is a distraught Rafayel. He wears an apron with little goldfish as its design, and he catches his breath as though he ran a marathon to get to the front door.
“Cutie! Perfect timing. I just finished cooking some lunch. What brings you here?”
You clutch your tote bag a little tighter when you see Rafayel’s soft smile. It pains you to know that it will soon turn into a frown when he understands that you’re visiting for a mere book. A book that means everything to you but nothing to him.
“Um…” The doormat that says Tread lightly is the most interesting thing you can focus on while you try to catch your words and your heart.
“I mean,” he shrugs, “You don’t have to have an excuse. You can visit me whenever you feel like it.”
Your heart swells, but you clear your throat before it soars too high. “I… I was actually hoping you could fix something for me. I hope it’s not too much to ask-”
“Nothing you ask for is too much.”
Rafayel tilts your chin up so you could meet his gaze. The happiness in his eyes rivals the sorrow in yours, yet you’re greedy enough to bask in it until you can believe that his happiness is because of you.
“Come in,” he says, stepping aside to welcome you into his humble abode. “There’s sandwiches on the table, some water if you need it, and even fruits! I know you once told me I need to diversify my foods, which is ridiculous considering I only eat seafood...”
With every new word that comes out of his lips, your smile grows a little wider. The silence of your ruthless mind is filled with his everlasting presence, letting you rest from your inner battles for at least a little while.
You take a seat on his sofa, where a painting stares back at you with its blues. The familiarity of it doesn’t escape you, but you know you have more urgent matters to take on, so your focus darts back to your tote bag.
“I have this… this book.” You take it out to show it to him. The spine and front cover sits atop of the pages, and some of them would’ve fallen to the ground had Rafayel not caught them in time. “And I was wondering if you could help restore it back to how it once was.”
When the book is in his hands, he inspects it thoroughly. Broken pages look salvageable and even beautiful when he looks through them, counting page numbers with hope in his eyes. The parts of your favorite book that are severed and imperfect to you are held carefully and studied with no disdain.
An artist truly has a way of finding beauty in everything.
“I can try,” he finally says, “But I can’t promise it’ll look as good as it used to.”
Surprise is in his eyes when you’re tearing up at the news. He inches a little closer to you, reaching to hold your shaking hands and carrying every word you leave unsaid. And you let him — oh, you’d let him hear every last word of your burdens if it meant you could have a break from it all.
“I’ve never fixed a book in my life, let alone a book this old. I’ve befriended the librarian in the university I used to work for though, and I’ve watched her glue textbooks together until they were usable again.”
“But I don’t want my book to just be usable. I want it to look perfect again.”
His smile is one of amusement, but his kisses on your knuckles are from a force unfamiliar to you. “Do you not like the details that make this book stand out?”
Your gaze lands on the book, finding it hard to imagine liking the “stand out” details of it. The pages that are falling out, the scribbles you wrote in it that now peek out from the sides, the spine that barely holds onto the front cover…
“This book was loved and cherished over time, and I can tell from your notes, your folded pages, and even the broken covers that you gave it a good life. New and perfect books don’t have that luxury. And…” Rafayel carefully turns the pages to a little flower doodle you once drew absentmindedly, “What is there to change when you are all over this?”
Your breath hitches when his eyes meet yours again, seeing you in a way nobody else has. “Doesn’t that give you more of a reason to change it?” you ask.
Rafayel’s eyes turn stormy at the proposition, and with all the conviction in his body, he utters out a simple, “No.”
And you would have left it at that if it wasn’t Rafayel you were talking to.
“There is nothing I would want to alter about you, nothing I don’t see as beautiful.”
Your retort dies down in your throat when he places soft kisses in your palm, each and every one too gentle for what you believe you deserve. With every insult you have towards yourself, his lips know just how to quiet them down.
“The book, Rafayel,” you remind him. “I need you to fix it.”
He whines, rolling his eyes abruptly as he pulls back. “Fine, fine. Don’t blame me if this book that’s centuries old ends up looking very different from how it used to, ‘kay? I’m an artist, not a god, you know.”
But you don’t believe him one bit, not when the divine seeps through every second you spend with him.
Rafayel has all the solutions in the world, as well as all the love you didn’t know you needed.