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In the midst of Tokyo’s annual heatwave, Yusuke zipped her hoodie up even further.
She’d made some slightly obscene statements before, statements pertaining to modesty and removing one’s clothes as temperatures soared. At best, they were a product of wishful thinking; how she should feel about her body. Boys took their shirts off all the time. Overheating? Undress a little. No one will mind. There was no reason to feel uncomfortable with people seeing her chest, because there was nothing inherently sexual about nudity, and the nude male form faced significantly less stigma. She had nothing to hide. She had nothing to hide.
“It’s decided. I’ll live my life wearing as little as possible,” she’d claimed, followed by a trip to the beach where she never once removed her hoodie.
It had been nearly a year, and she’d learned significantly more about herself since then. Today, the Phantom Thieves returned to bask in the milder heat dusk afforded—with proper protection, of course. Even at night, Makoto and Ryuji remained adamant about it.
Ryuji… He looked so handsome in his swimsuit, especially after spending enough time in the sun to tan. She’d been meaning to sketch him like this, but something always got in the way.
“We need one more person for the game. C’mon, Yu!”
“My stomach’s screamin’ at me. I’m gonna head over to the food stalls.”
“I gotta ask if I can pet that guy’s dog. Be right back!” (He wasn’t).
Yusuke’s motivations were strictly aesthetic. He had a nice—no, great build, with sculpted calves and callused hands and… Ah, perhaps not strictly. She wanted to sketch him, and, should he allow it, to hold his callused hand for a while.
Most of all, though, she wanted at least one of the countless girls he devoted far too much precious daylight ogling to look like her. Someone tall, with broad shoulders and a flat chest and no curves to speak of. For once, she wanted her body to be enough.
Ann used clothing as a bridge between what she did and didn’t understand, and according to her, the right swimsuit would fit the body; the “right” body didn’t need to fit the swimsuit.
So, beneath her hoodie and dotted trunks, that’s exactly what Yusuke wore.
Why on earth did I choose a two-piece…?
The thieves all met up at the station, and Ann immediately shuffled over to Yusuke’s side. “I thought you were gonna…?”
“I am.” She pulled the zipped down ever so slightly. “Just waiting for the right moment.”
“Gotcha.”
Ryuji stood at her other side. “I kinda expected you to wear somethin’… different. You do you, obviously, but…” Ann shot him a glare. “…I’ll stop talkin’.”
As they approached the beach, Makoto made her rounds, ensuring everyone was armored up for the sun. “Futaba,” she dug a wide-brimmed hat out of her bag and placed it on the smaller girl’s head, “your skin is especially sensitive to ultraviolet rays. Please refrain from removing this until we’ve made it indoors.”
“Why meee?” Futaba whined. “Why not Inari? She only started wearing sunscreen like, two months ago! Give her the stupid hat!”
“Safety before comfort. And I haven’t forgotten about her.” Makoto turned to Yusuke. “Will you be wearing that the entire time we’re here?”
“I- um- I wasn’t planning to, no.”
“Alright. I brought an extra-strength bottle just in case.” She smiled, unable to hide her pride at being so well prepared.
Ryuji pushed down the brim. “You bandaged your whole head the first time we came here, but a big hat is where you draw the line?”
Futaba swatted his hand away. “I was at least anonymous then! Now I risk making eye contact while looking like somebody’s grandma!”
“You can borrow my hoodie instead,” Yusuke suggested, already condemning herself to the deep end should her friend accept.
She barely made out Futaba blinking wildly in disbelief. “Wooaah, living on the edge, are we? For real though, you sure? I know your hoodie’s really important to you.”
“I’m sure.”
“In that case, gimme.”
Yusuke took her time pulling the zipper the rest of the way down, still contemplating if this was a good idea, then shrugged out of the sleeves. “Here you are.” Head already underwater, she followed through by removing the trunks as well. “It’s… new,” she added, unsure of what else to say. “Don’t stare at me too long or I’ll regret this”?
“I picked it out~” Ann sing-songed, which alleviated some of her nerves. She may have refused payment then, but Yusuke would return that favor eventually, whether she liked it or not.
Her friends went from complete silence to enthusiastic (and largely incoherent) rambling, complimenting every detail of her suit. It was a wonderful sort of overwhelming, and her body felt… tingly, like she needed to shake each limb profusely for it to stop. In a good way.
Ryuji, ironically, said nothing. Then Ann made a scene of clearing her throat, and he snapped out of it. “Awesome, like, so cool.” He flashed a thumbs up. “Yeah, super cool.”
Yusuke’s response was just as stilted. “Thank you… very much. All of you.” She meant it genuinely, but Ryuji’s support in particular made the tingling migrate to her brain. How far could she take the “strictly aesthetic” excuse, and how long would it take for her mask to slip?
*****
Yusuke watched the sky fade from blue to pink as she tried not to think about the unpleasant sensation of sunscreen on her cheeks.
Someone approached from behind. Judging by how loud the footsteps were, even on sand, she assumed it was Ryuji.
“Hey, Yu.”
She assumed correct.
“Hello, Ryuji.”
“You’ve been sittin’ alone for a while now. Wanna go for a swim with me? We could also try buildin’ one of those elaborate sandcastles… or you could build, and I watch.” He took her lack of an immediate response as a no. “Or I can just leave you be.”
Yusuke turned, raising a brow. “Are you really so impatient?”
“What’s that supposed to mean!?”
“At least give me a moment to consider.”
“Right. Sorry.”
An awkward pause, followed by, “I won’t swim, but I’d still like to feel the water. Perhaps it’ll keep me from overheating.”
“These temps are no joke.” Ryuji adjusted the fit of his swim binder. “I wish I didn’t hafta wear this.” He shrugged. “Oh well, one more year ‘till top surgery.”
“If only we could swap chests,” Yusuke lamented.
“Agreed. Scientists needs to get on that ASAP.”
He laughed, and the tingling feeling returned. I hope he knows just how beautiful he is. Yusuke would sooner confess her feelings than allow Ryuji to speak ill of himself. No, scratch that, she’d confess nothing to him, because she had nothing to confess. It was completely normal for his presence to leave her dizzy with affection, and completely normal to want him to look at her as often as he did other girls. But only her, and not in the same way.
You “want” too much. Stop being so conceited.
They waded into the water, far enough that the bows on her hips began to float.
“‘S a little chilly,” Ryuji said with a slight shudder.
“It doesn’t seem that cold—”
“Watch your step!” which startled Yusuke to the point of taking an even larger step.
The ground became uneven, eventually falling away completely, and she instinctively reached for anything that would steady her. Her target: Ryuji’s shoulders, though her panic led to more of a flailing maneuver that knocked the boy down as well.
When Yusuke finally regained control of the situation, they were both in the water. Her attempt at an apology was broken up by relentless coughing, having gone under for a moment. The hat she’d swapped with Futaba drifted past her, almost tauntingly.
“Are- ehem- you alright?”
“Are you alright?” Ryuji echoed.
“I asked you first.”
“‘M fine, just a little dazed.”
“I also appear to be uninjured.”
His gaze shifted awkwardly, following the hat for a few seconds before he took it upon himself to retrieve it. “Don’t wanna lose that.” Placing it back on Yusuke’s head, the brim sagged with extra water weight, covering her entire face. “Whoops. Prolly should’ve wrun’ it out first.”
Instead of removing it, Ryuji lifted the brim, allowing their eyes to meet.
“Please model for me.”
“W-when? Why? What?”
“Any time. You’re quite handsome in your swimsuit.”
Yusuke must not have coughed all the water up. What else could cause such a fluttering in her chest? It wasn’t him. It wasn’t him. Even if it was—which it wasn’t—she’d be wise to humble herself before things got out of hand. Ryuji looked at girls he fancied a certain way, and the way he looked at her now…
The way he looked at her now…
Her mind had to be playing tricks on her.
Yet deep inside, a tiny, hopeful voice asked, “And what if it isn’t?”