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People don’t hug Eva Stratt. I rarely see people touch Eva Stratt. Some people even have trouble making eye contact with her.
So when an hour ago, I witnessed Olesya Ilyukhina —the Hail Mary’s main engineer— stumble out of a fighter jet and run straight into Eva Stratt’s arms, I naturally started coming up with theories.
Call me crazy, but I’m onto something.
Currently, my leading theories are: this is some sort of weird woman thing that I don’t understand, I’m overthinking this, or Stratt and Ilyukhina are together.
Also in the past two weeks, I’ve seen Stratt smile 7 times, ALL in the presence of Ilyukhina. Yes I’m counting. That’s how big a phenomenon this is.
Anyways, either there’s something going on between ‘em, or I’m horribly unpleasant to be around. Mark my words, I’ll get to the bottom of this.
It’s been a week, but I have returned with more evidence. I also haven’t slept in 27 hours and there’s a good chance I hallucinated this, so bear with me here.
After a grueling 12 hours in the lab, Dimitri convinced me to go for a drink down in the officer’s bar with him and some of his Denizens to “unwind” a bit. Unwind. In this day and age? Ha, yeah right.
Anyways, while I was halfway through a beer and Dimitri and his crew were all a concerning number of shots in, Ilyukhina walked in, which was, not unusual… but what caught my attention was Stratt walking in right next to her. It’s a very rare occasion that I see Stratt anywhere outside where work is being done, let alone in the bar that she almost refused to have built.
They sat down together, at a table for 2.
I’ve seen Stratt drink once, the time she had to make the decision about comas, and I have seen Ilyukhina drink… an alarming number of times for the 3 weeks I’ve known her.
Ilyukhina called over to the bar for two shots of vodka and they were brought over. They raised their glasses to something Stratt said, then they clinked their glasses and both downed the shots in one go.
My attention was briefly diverted as Dimitri turned to say something to me and I took a sip of beer.
I swear to you, when I put my glass back down, I witnessed Olesya Ilyukhina —who clearly has no survival instincts around intimidating women— reach across the table and tuck a strand of Stratt’s hair behind her ear. And Stratt let her. Yes I checked, Ilyukhina is still aboard the ship.
I spit out my drink so fast. I was not very discreet about it either. Stratt’s eyes snapped over from across the bar and I suddenly had a very violent coughing fit until she looked away.
When I mustered up the courage to look back in their direction, the two were ordering another round.
Dimitri leaned over with a sly grin and a very sober tone of voice for someone who had enough alcohol in his system to kill harmful bacteria. “Getting worried about your woman, I see,” he chuckled.
Darn was I glad I hadn’t taken another sip.
“My- what the heck are you talking about?!”
“Ya know,” he winked, eyeing Stratt across the bar. “It’s no secret that you’re doing something to earn that spot on her right hand.”
“Sc- Science! I’m doing science! What the heck Dimitri?!” I whisper-yelled, trying not to attract attention again…
“Aren’t we all?” He chuckled. “Science,” he scoffed. I glared at him. He shrugged. “You’re the only one in that chair.”
“I’m not sleeping with Stratt.”
“Sure you aren’t,” he laughed, playfully slapping my arm. “I’m sure she’s so good in bed you want to keep her all to yourself.”
I choked on nothing.
By then, Dimitri and his crew decided they’d had enough alcohol, or poking-fun-at-Dr.-Grace time and all got up and left. Dimitri, being Dimitri, turned around and winked at me one last time before walking out the door.
My mind raced with speculation and a pointed strain of regret that I had developed over the years. But I soon stopped it and packed away that internal dilemma for another time. Back to the show happening in front of my eyes.
I finished the rest of my beer and ordered another one, despite wanting to go back to my room and wallow in self-pity for the next few short hours before I would be summoned again, but I figured, alcohol works faster.
This time, I had just taken the first sip when something happened again. Was I getting drunk already, or just flat out exhausted and delirious? I don’t know. But I do know that I watched Ilyukhina lean over the table and whisper something in Stratt’s ear that made her giggle. I resisted the urge to have another coughing fit.
The two got up and Ilyukhina grabbed Stratt’s hand and dragged her out the door. I could begin to guess what they were going to do…
I looked around again. The few other bar goers were all sitting there staring at walls or having intense conversation with their colleagues. I suspected the exhaustion really was getting to me.
By now, I’d had enough surprises for one 27 hours and abandoned the rest of my drink and speed walked out of the bar.
Back in my room, I went to the bathroom, took off my glasses, cleaned them, put them back on, then slapped myself in the face as hard as I could. I was full of regret and pain immediately. The spot on my cheek I’d hit started turning red quickly.
I was not dreaming. Or maybe I slapped myself in my sleep…
There you have it. More proof. Now I’m going to bed.
Boy am I glad that Dimitri is Russian.
I come back today with undeniable evidence.
This morning, Stratt called the entire science department in for a meeting about the automated patient care system for when the crew was in comas. For once, I was not sitting at Stratt’s right hand. Dr. Lamai was.
I was sat about halfway down the table with Dimitri to my right.
Dr. Lamai and her team were the main speakers during this meeting, so the rest of us just took to nodding along, and frankly, I think Dimitri nodded off once or twice.
When a specialist was in the middle of explaining the robot’s general medical knowledge database, Stratt’s personal phone rang loudly in her pocket. And let me tell you, basically nobody calls Stratt’s personal phone.
She looked a bit annoyed as she fished it out of her coat pocket and answered the call.
“Sorry,” she mouthed to the specialist, and held up one finger to the rest of us.
“Hallo? Stratt,” she answered with a level of professional annoyance the rest of us still had yet to master, and her lips pressed into a flat line.
The voice on the other end said something. Stratt’s expression softened, and she lowered her voice before changing languages.
“привет,” she tried again. I recognized the greeting as Russian.
The person on the other end continued, and Stratt nodded along and muttered “Да, Да.” She suddenly stopped and looked around the room before her eyes landed on me.
“Да, он здесь.” I heard her say. I looked around frantically. What was she looking at me for?
I turned to Dimitri, who was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed and his eyes half shut.
“Dimitri!” I whisper-yelled in his ear.
“Huh- wh-?” He woke up.
I nodded to Stratt, “she’s on the phone in Russian and she just looked at me! What’s she saying?”
Dimitri listened to the rest of Stratt’s conversation, still groggy, whispering in my ear in English what she had just said.
“Научный отдел проводит совещание прямо сейчас.”
“The science department is having a meeting right now.”
Stratt looked at me again, and I pretended to be interested in cleaning my glasses.
She sighed then said, “Полагаю, я могу отправить его вниз.”
“I suppose I can send him down.”
She paused for a moment, looking around the entire room before sighing and saying softly, “Я тоже тебя люблю.”
Dimitri hesitated for a moment. “I love you too.”
“What?” I turned to him, raising an eyebrow.
“That’s what she said!” He retorted.
Before I had time to process what that was, Stratt called to me, “Dr. Grace, you are wanted by the main crew down in science research building 3. You are dismissed from this meeting and someone will catch you up later. Everybody else, I apologize for the interruption,” she gestured to the specialist who looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die, “you may continue.”
I got up and gathered my belongings and looked at Dimitri one last time before heading out of the door.
“That’s what she said,” he mouthed, shrugging a little.
As I walked across the field towards the building, I realized something. Ilyukhina is the only person who speaks Russian on the main crew. There’s no way Stratt would just randomly say that for no reason. She hates to do anything without a reason.
And just as I suspected, when I walked in, it was just the three of them, and Ilyukhina fidgeting with her personal cell in her hands.
Guess what suckas, I was right all along! Who ever doubted me? Put your hand down Ryland.
An hour ago, Stratt called me into her office to have a meeting about something to do with the Astrophage containment tanks for the ship (God bless Dimitri and his 1009 spin drives). 20 minutes in, there was a knock at the door. A knock that Stratt seemed to know.
“Oh God,” she mumbled to herself, before loudly saying, “come in.” Ilyukhina, very clearly drunk, stumbled in and leaned on the edge of Stratt’s desk.
“Olesya, are you drunk?” Stratt demanded, turning to face her. Ilyukhina giggled a little. “Only hadda couple’a drinks, Evaaaa,” she slurred.
Oh so they’re on a first name basis. I thought. I made the mistake of addressing Stratt as Eva one time and I think she almost threw me into the South China Sea herself.
“I’m in a meeting with Dr. Grace right now,” Stratt said firmly.
Ilyukhina turned to me, acknowledging my presence for the first time. “Hiiii Grace,” she smiled. I waved back awkwardly.
“Whatever you’re here for right now, you’re not sober enough for it to be important, so I will entertain it later.” Stratt continued.
Ilyukhina’s expression became sad in an instant, as if she’d just watched Stratt kick her puppy.
“Ohhh… but Evaaaa,” she pouted.
Stratt remained stern and she crossed her arms.
“I want’chuuuu,” Ilyukhina crooned reaching her arms out. “I putt’on tha’ lipstick y’ like…”
I suddenly cleared my throat and looked away. I could feel Stratt glaring at me.
Her expression softened as she turned back to Ilyukhina.
“Later,” she said softly. “Now go sleep off the vodka before I change my mind.”
Ilyukhina seemed to accept this. Almost.
“Least gimme a kissss,” she smirked.
Stratt looked at me again, and I suddenly became interested in the ceiling.
“Oleysa, I’m in a meeting.” She reminded Ilyukhina, slightly annoyed.
This seemed to remind Ilyukhina once again that I was indeed still there.
“I- I can go,” I said quickly and got up.
“Sit back down,” Stratt said firmly. I sat.
“Oh yeah, di’n’t tell ya,” Ilyukhina stumbled over to Stratt’s chair kissed her on the cheek, “we’re datinnnn,” she giggled and hugged Stratt. Stratt sighed but still patted Ilyukhina’s shoulder gently.
“Yes we are…” she mumbled, sounding very disappointed in herself. I felt very tempted to say ‘I could tell’, but I figured I should probably go stand on the edge of the flight deck first.
“What did I say about keeping this quiet?” Stratt asked to Ilyukhina.
“Awww ‘s fineeee, iss Grace,” she slurred back. They both looked at me. I threw my hands up. “Won’t say a word.”
Stratt gave me a look that said you better not.
Ilyukhina seemed satisfied with my response and took the opportunity to lean down and kiss Stratt messily on the lips before walking towards the door seemingly a lot more sober than when she’d come in.
“Love ya’!” she called from the door.
“Go sleep, Olesya!” Stratt called back, stern once again. “I love you too.” She added a second later.
She turned back to me unfazed, now with lipstick smudges on her mouth and the side of her face that she was either ignoring or flaunting. “I apologize for the interruption. Where were we?”
There you have it folks. I was right all along, as usual. I’m only a little crazy.
Also, Ilyukhina is now the official spokesperson for all the science department’s outrageous requests.