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Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men characters. All rights belong to Marvel Entertainment and I am not making any money off this story.
You Make Everything Okay by BookwormDoll
Inspired by the song “My Demons” by Starset
Rogue
Hurt. People have been through so many different forms of the word over the years. Loved ones passing away. Your significant other dumping you. Your best friend betraying you. I could go on but…I promise you nothing a normal person has gone through amounts to the hurt I’m feeling right now.
My name is Anna Marie, but most call me Rogue…and one calls me Chère. I’m sitting on the front steps of the destroyed X-Mansion. What’s hurting me so bad, you ask? Ha, well, that’s a long story. You see, those three things I mentioned normal people go through? I went through one and did two. I dumped and betrayed my friend, heck, my basically-boyfriend, Remy. Remy LeBeau, better known as Gambit, recently died…saving me. But believe it or not, that’s not what broke me to dust. He’s back. That’s what’s ruined me. You probably think I’m crazy right now, but…He’s not the same. He’s different on so many levels…so different…
“Rogue?” I don’t look up as Logan lowers himself down onto the step beside me.
“You’ve been out here for three hours.”
I don’t say anything.
“Hey, moonbeam, we’re gonna get the Cajun back to his normal flirtatious self, ok? Hank’s looking for a cure as we speak an’ he won’t rest ‘till it’s found.”
“Cure?” my voice is raspy from disuse as I spit out the word, “There is no cure, Logan, don’t you see?! This is fate mocking me. Dangling Remy in front of me as the total opposite of the man he was…the man I loved…love,” my voice breaks. “This is my punishment for what I did. If I had never gone after Mastermold in the first place, he wouldn’t have done it.”
“You and I both know he would’ve. If anything, I feel bad for the guy. Dying a hero only to be raised as Apocalypse’s Horseman of Death? Cruel.”
“What if I absorbed him? Like with Warren?” I mutter.
“You know you can’t handle that. You barely could for Warren.”
“Well, Ah cain’t just do nothin’!” I stand up, starting to cry.
Logan stands and pulls me into a hug.
“Sorry for interrupting, guys,” Scott said from behind me, “but Apocalypse has attacked a warehouse nearby. Rogue…you might want to stay behind for this one.”
I stay silent as I get up to head back into the mansion. Eventually I hear the Blackbird take off as I wander the halls trying to find something to do. I step into a bedroom and it takes me a minute to realize whose it is. A deck of cards was sprawled across the wooden floor, as if they’d fallen. Other than that, the room was surprisingly clean compared to the wreckage of the rest of the X-Mansion. I leaned down to clean up the mess. I flipped over the first card I picked up: The Queen of Hearts. Remy always told me this was his lucky card; said that it got him through his roughest points. He also used to say that I was his Queen of Hearts.
I smile at the memory and then everything goes black.
Remy?
I had feeling. I had thought. I had everything of a living man but control of myself. I was seeing through eyes that weren’t mine, talking in a voice that was only a ghost of what it used to be, doing things that made me scream here in this dark abyss.
My name is Remy LeBeau, and I’m supposed to be dead. But this? This is worse than being dead, because now…now I AM Death. Apocalypse’s Horseman. He made me kill an innocent mutant child the other day as a test. It made me want to stab myself rather than live with the knowledge.
I haven’t seen Rogue yet, but I’ve fought the X-Men so I’m sure she knows. And that hurts more than anything, because I know…I know that if there’s anyone who can stop this sickness from taking over and wiping away this last little spark of me, it’s her. But I also know exactly what I’ll be forced to do to her should I ever find her. So, when I—Death—was ordered to go capture Rogue, I pushed as hard as I could against the walls slowly closing in on me, trying to overcome this new, horrible version of myself. It didn’t so much as move a centimeter as I watched the world outside shift from Apocalypse’s dark hideout to the wreckage of the X-Mansion. When had it been destroyed? And how? Apocalypse had told me—Death, not me, Death—that he would cause a decoy attack on the presumption that Rogue would stay alone. I entered the premises and as I did, frost blurred the edges of my vision—not Death’s vision, mine. ‘No, please, no!’ I screamed. But nothing came out of Death’s mouth. The frost crept closer until I had nothing but a small peephole to look through. And when I did, I almost stopped breathing; because any hope that Rogue would be gone with the others was dashed when I saw the unmistakable white-and-auburn hair. Even though I could now see nothing, hear nothing, and feel nothing, I knew exactly what this imposter did to Rogue. If I could just force Death to touch her with skin-to-skin contact, maybe she’d be able to feel me still in here.
Rogue
I woke up in a dark room, wrists and ankles chained to a wall. Once my eyes adjusted, I tried to take a look around the dark room. For a minute I thought it was a cell, but I spotted the outline of a bed in the far corner. I pulled at the chains, hoping I could at least break them away from the wall, but when it hurt, I realized that I had a collar on. I stopped pulling and resorted to examining the room more. The sun had risen and was peeking through the one small window in the room, letting me see more. To my left was another set of chains. Empty, thank goodness. A simple wooden door occupied the next wall. Moving to the side of the room across from me was a bookshelf, a desk full of papers, and a bed for one. The only items against the final wall was a small nightstand and a closet. I looked at the nightstand and sucked in a breath when I saw three decks of playing cards atop it. I leaned forward in my chains to try to peek in the closet. Many pieces of clothing hung there…including several black trench coats and a Bo Staff.
“So, Sleeping Beauty has finally awoken.”
I turn to the now-open door and find him. He had dark gray skin, snow-white hair, and bright, glowing, red eyes. And the worst part was that his crooked grin was the same, but I knew it didn’t carry the same warmth anymore.
“Remy, please, Ah know you’re still in there,” I plead, hoping to crack Apocalypse’s shell on Remy.
“Remy LeBeau is no more. There is only Death!”
“Sounds like you got somethin’ to prove, Sugah,” maybe if I pester him, it’ll work.
His hand rose as if to slap me, but it twitched, staying in place. Death looked at it, confused as he tried again. His arm moved slightly but still didn’t get close to me. Eventually he placed it back at his side. Little did he know that that 30-second incident was all I needed to know Remy was still in there somewhere.
“Don’t test me, girl,” Death threatened.
“Remy,” Death made eye contact with me, “Ah’m sorry. For everything. I’m gonna get you outta this. I know you’re still in there…you’ve got to be…”
Death paused, staring at me, before replying, “Don’t’you understand, Chère? You made me into this!”
He stalked out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. I gotta say, I’ve never been so hurt as when he spat out that word, Chère, as if it were poison. Hurt that was compounded by the truth of the statement.
Remy?
Now that I knew I could break through Death’s control for even limited movement, I just needed to get that collar off of Rogue…then hopefully she’ll get me outta here or at least have the sense to run. Then at least I’ll know she’s safe from my contaminated hands. I’d been able to see and hear this time. What she said…those words gave me strength in this dark place.
Death strode into Apocalypse’s throne room, and I could feel the anger boiling inside and out.
“She’s quite the feisty one, Master,” Death spoke, using my voice, as he bowed.
“Yet you remain.”
Death looked up to Apocalypse, confused.
“Ah, you see, my Horseman. Rogue is a test of your loyalty. And you’re passing.”
My heart stops. Passing? That isn’t good. That means there’s more.
“There is just one more test, Death,” Apocalypse smiles, “dispose of her.”
No. No. Say no. I screamed the word, and yet…
“Yes, Master.”
No. No. No.
I kept repeating the word as Death took us to Rogue.
No. No. No.
The door opened.
No. No. No.
Rogue looked at me as Death unsheathed a knife, and my heart cried out in agony.
No. No. No.
The light in her eyes died, as if she was resigning to her fate.
No. No. No.
I realized that her resignation wasn’t a plan; it was grief. Defeat.
No. No. No.
My arm was drawn back.
No. No. No.
I went forward, aiming for her heart.
NO!
The frost, the darkness, the constraint, shattered. And the dagger stopped, hovering over her heart.
Rogue
I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow, only to feel a small prick on the skin above my heart. I opened my eyes and nearly cried as I saw not glowing red eyes, but red-on-black eyes. Eyes that were staring horrified at the knife hovering over my chest and which was now clattering to the floor.
“Remy?”
He looks at me but doesn’t say anything as he takes a key out of his pocket and unlocks my collar and chains. I rub my cut wrists. He still hasn’t said anything.
“Remy, are you ok?”
“Go.”
“What?” I’m taken aback.
“Go. Before I lose control again.”
“Ah’m not leavin’ without you, Remy.”
“I can’t fight this forever, Chère, it’ll take control and drag me back into that darkness.”
My heart cracks, not just at what Remy said, but that word again. Chère. Filled with the warmth I was used to. “You can’t fight it alone, Sugah. You need help.” I take off my gloves.
“No. I can’t put this on you.”
“You’re not putting it on me. I’m taking it off you. And besides, I can handle half.”
I hold out my bare hand. He looks at it, still unsure. He finally takes off his own glove and starts to reach out. I prepare for the transfer when he retracts his arm and re-gloves his hand.
“Remy? What—” he pulls me closer and kisses me. Shock slowly fades as I close my eyes and kiss him back. I fight to stay on my feet as a wall of Death’s personality hits me, turning my insides ice cold. Remy pulls away first.
“That’s half,” he breathes softly, brushing my hair behind my ears.
I opened my eyes and smiled. Slowly, Remy’s skin turned to its normal color and his white hair morphed to dark auburn. Then out of nowhere, I giggle, softly, but I giggle.
“What? Is my skin still dark?” he asks as he examines his exposed wrists.
“No…I’ve just never seen you with your hair down like that, no ponytail, no nothin’.”
He smiles and rolls his eyes, “As much as I’d love to tease my hair, mon couer, we should get outta here.”
“Right,” I proceed to punch a hole into the wall that leads outside and then offer my now-gloved hand to him.
“Fly, Chère,” he grabs it, “Fly and don’t let me go.”