Chapter Text
Icarus - The Crane Wives
“They’re burning down the orchard to the soil,
to the soil, to the grave
Spreading out the ashes of a love
that only gave, and gave.”
-
Killua gazes out the train window, taking a gander at the tranquil environment that surrounded the tracks. He felt like he could finally rest, if only for a little while, despite everything that had transpired. He turned his head back to Alluka, who sat next to him, speaking joyfully to one of the many lounge-car attendants occupying the car. Killua smiles, chuckling to himself. She conversed with much enthusiasm, seeming to be enjoying their escapades already.
"Big brother absolutely loves sweets! You know, he told me that he spent over two-hundred million jenny on just sweets! Specifically those little chocolatey treats, oh, hm, what were they called again?-"
"Gosh, Alluka, you don't need to say all that," Killua gruffs, feeling rather embarrassed by the way his sister was describing him.
"Oh, is that so, dear?" The attendant chuckled, choosing to disregard the absurd amount of money the fourteen-year-old sitting in front of her supposedly spent. Pushing the serving cart forward slightly, she lifted a large tray off the top of the cart, which was occupied by a whole assortment of delectable pastries, the ever-so-sweet aroma making Alluka drool with gluttony. She took as many treats as she could off of the tray until she was denied any more. Killua grabbed whatever pastries seemed to have the most chocolate whipped up in them. In turn, he began shoving the delicacies in his mouth as soon as he grabbed them. He really hadn't indulged in treats like this since the war against the Chimera Ants ended. He was so occupied with making sure his closest friend, Gon, would live another day. Killua sighs in delight, the taste melting on his tongue. He really didn't leave himself much time to do what he particularly wanted since then. It was as if he had finally earned himself a break. It was refreshing, to say the least, because Alluka was definitely right. Killua had an undying love for anything that satisfied his sweet tooth. He could most definitely eat at least seven more of those. Or maybe eight, if the attendant lady hadn't already pushed her cart along to the next guest. Whatever, he would probably just end up purchasing pounds of chocolate robots from pretty much any measly convenient store he and Alluka could find. After all, their first destination was a bustling city, ripe and ready for him and his sister to explore.
It had been roughly four days since Killua and Gon had split at the World Tree, now accompanying Alluka as the two of them traveled the continent together. The two of them were ravenously chasing the freedom they so craved from the highly regarded Zoldyck family.
"Big brother," Alluka whined, "How much longer 'til we arrive? We've been on the train for hooours." She slumped down in her seat, mimicking a pout.
"Still a while, Alluka," Killua responded, patting her head softly. He felt content. He finally had something worth chasing after, the protection and wellbeing of his sister whom he cared so much about. It truly was so incredibly nice to travel with her.
"Then let's stay together!"
The memory hit him like a dagger to the heart. Gon. He vividly remembered that night when Gon first brought him to Whale Island, how beautifully the stars speckled the sky above the abundance of pine trees ahead of them as they sat at the edge of that cliff, how they talked about what was meant to come next for the two of them.
“Let’s go out and see the world! It’ll be a journey for me, to find my dad, and for you to find what you want to do!”
It was that night that Killua set his sights on not just travelling with Gon, but finding his own individual purpose, a purpose that had nothing to do with the ideals and future his family had so desperately weighed onto him. A purpose for travelling, a goal, if you would. He had finally found that purpose.
"Big brother?”
Gosh, Killua, get a hold of yourself! He quickly turned his head towards Alluka, relinquishing himself from the dazed state he was in. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Are you okay?” Alluka observed Killua’s now tense demeanor, her face expressing her worries. “You looked so happy just a minute ago.”
“Mm, just thinking about everything that's happened,” Killua truly despised the thought of lying to Alluka, “It’s nothing really important. I’m just happy to be here with you,” but it wasn’t far from the truth. He adored the company of his sister, however he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing something- or someone in particular. Because in reality, back then, the only thing he really wanted was to be with Gon. Maybe that’s what formulated as his purpose then, though he continued to search for a goal of his own. It almost felt wrong to be without him, travelling with little destination. Truthfully, Killua really, really liked being around Gon. He always found himself really admiring him, and those amber-struck eyes that always glimmered with such burning determination. He flushed ever so slightly at the thought.
“Big brother, this has been happening a lot since we started travelling,” Alluka insists, determined to figure out what was causing Killua to act in the way that he was. “You always seem like you’re having fun, and then you just zone out and act all weird.” She tugs on his sleeve, pestering him for some kind of answer. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”
“Alluka…” There was a brief silence as Killua began twiddling with the hem of his shorts.
“Brother,” She repeats, pulling harder on his sleeve, forcing him to meet her eyes. She huffs, her eyes expecting no less than the truth. “Are you worried about your friend?”
No, it really wasn't that.
He awkwardly peers off to the side, then back at his sister. “I'm already pretty sure Gon's doing just fine on his own... probably. So really, I wouldn't say I'm worried, necessarily-”
Alluka stares at Killua, squinting her eyes disapprovingly. She knew there was more to it. “You sure?”
His cheeks flush slightly, embarrassed with his feelings being inquired so insistently by Alluka. “Okay, okay, fine. I'm definitely still unsure about how exactly he's holding up, but Gon's strong. He knows how to take care of himself.”
“Aaand?”
Alluka really wasn't going to let this go.
“It's just-” Killua begins, unsure of himself, “I hate to admit it, but,”
“I really, really miss him.”
Killua admits this, sighing softly. He knew their separation was for the best, as he wasn't sure he could bear to continue to follow Gon everywhere. Memories of his helplessness in the face of Gon's stupidly selfish decision in facing Pitou followed wherever he lingered, haunting him forevermore. It was just so painstakingly unfair, how could Gon have possibly thought that was the only option? What about everyone else who had needed him? Just the thought of it made him shudder with frustration. He clenched his fists, currently occupied by the fabric lining his shorts, bunching the material up in his palms.
“I'm sure you guys'll see each other again,” Alluka said softly, reassuring Killua. “In fact, I am absolutely positive you will!” She smiled, meeting his gaze. “Buuut, before then, you have tell me ALL about him! Plus, I'm here to keep you company now, so we're gonna have so much fun!”
Killua's expression softened. Right, they would meet again. For now, all that mattered in the world was what his sister needed, and that's it. “Thank you, Alluka,” Killua said, giving his sister grateful rubs on the head, smiling. “Right,” Killua proclaimed, straightening up and putting on a more smug demeanor, “For mission one, we're gonna hit up the first convenient store we see and buy their whole supply of Choco-Robos!” He chuckled to himself, seeming proud of his childish plan.
Alluka laughed heartily, enthused by her brother's newfound excitement. “Whatever you say, big brother,” she said, in an almost teasing tone. Alluka yawned, beginning to feel drowsy.
“Feeling sleepy, huh?” Killua asked, allowing his sister to lean on his shoulder.
“Only a little…” Alluka whispered, beginning to doze off. “I'm excited, big brother.”
“About what?”
“Exploring with you.”
Killua chuckled, and kissed Alluka softly on the cheek. “Me too,” he whispered.
He knew that they would likely have to be incredibly wary, as the two will be forced to live as fugitives, running from Illumi and their family's methods of returning the two of them to the household. He knew this, and he knew the caution he would be forced to express as he travelled with Alluka, but he wished to let himself be naive for once. He allowed himself to believe, if only for a little bit, he could be at peace. He untensed, resting his head comfortably atop Alluka's.
Yeah, me and Gon will meet again, He thought, his mind being put at a slight ease, when the time is right.
When the time is right? How long would that be?
Killua peered to the window once more, gazing solemnly at the passing fields that whispered melodies of calm, opposing the uneasy storm of emotions beginning to well up inside him regarding his best friend. He clasped his hands together atop his shorts, and clenched them together tight.
Would he be able to face him then?
- -{♡}- -
He had been too weak.
When he and Killua split, that had been the conclusion Gon had come to. He knew part of the truth was that Alluka and Killua deserved to spend time with just them, but he just couldn’t shake the looming thought that haunted his head. Sitting on the carpet of Leorio’s hotel room’s floor that sat twenty stories high, he sat and thought.
It was his own fault, really. He had made the choice to completely sacrifice his Nen reserves in a fit of rage, simply to avenge his father’s once-late protege. He knew incredibly well the consequences of his actions, and he was lucky enough to be alive right now.
Because of Killua.
He took another huge huff of air, and sighed aggressively. He stared intently at the TV, its screen pitch black. Instead of death, he was blessed with a second chance. He had no right to be upset about his nen, he knew. When they were travelling together, he had always appreciated Killua’s friendship and looming presence, obviously. They were best friends, after all, and Gon cherished it.
You threw that away.
And he knew that was the truth. Blinded by his anger, he disregarded his friend. He made him suffer, and despite it all, he somehow saved him. Truthfully, he wondered how he was saved, but he knew better than to ask.
When they accompanied one another for the final time before their departures, the two both knew better than to bring up anything that had happened. Gon knew, and Killua probably knew the same, that it wasn’t the right time. When would it ever be? Gon had messed up, made a decision because he knew he would be too weak, and his weakness hurt Killua.
Gon knew it was selfish, but part of him expected the two of them would travel together forever, or at least for years longer. They were supposed to be inseparable, or so he thought. But he knew what had to happen. He knew that if he didn’t let him go any sooner, he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye.
Because he was too weak.
Killua had to protect Alluka. He’d get overwhelmed with having to protect Gon as well, and he knew this. There wasn’t much he could do about it now, really. Gon has thought about training and rebuilding his strength to overcome his weakness. Gon had truly contemplated Nen training and relearning from square one, however Leorio quickly shut down his plans once he expressed them.
“Goddammit, Gon. Are you CRAZY?!”
Gon chuckled thinking about it. He did not want him attempting anything that could potentially hurt him. Ever since he had miraculously recovered, Leorio had insisted on keeping a close eye on him for around a week before he returned back to Whale Island.
“Listen, Gon, I know damn well I’m not going to be able to convince you to stray far away from practicing your Nen, but I need you to understand how scary it was seeing you like that,” He recalls Leorio saying yesterday. “When you do begin Nen training again, please, promise me, and seriously promise Killua, that no matter what you try to do you’ll be careful.”
Gon sighed, recollecting himself from his despair, and then took a deep breath. He slapped his cheeks, and yelled fervently,
“Osu!”
Gon sat eagerly in front of the hotel room's television, skimming through the stations available on the network. He grasped his pajama pants and huffed, focusing solely on the screen in front of him. If he could just avert his attention to the media ahead, he could calm down. Gon knew he couldn’t do much about it now. He continued to alternate between the stations quite hastily, refusing to miss the live feed he wished to see. This search continued until, finally, the screen glowed with a familiar face.
Leorio!
The man stood atop a podium, surrounded by news reporters urging to get a story out of him. After all, who would've thought that a hunter that many considered a nobody would become one of the most highly regarded choices for Netero's successor? Of course, to Gon, it was of little surprise. Leorio was awesome.
“Mister Paladiknight,” an insistent man called out, dressed incredibly nicely in attire. “Is it true that you had valued pursuing the medical field over aiming for the highly coveted position of chairman, despite taking the voters by storm?” He offered up his microphone, expecting a satisfactory response, until-
A woman shoved the previous reporter aside with slight aggression, holding her microphone up close to Leorio's mouth. “Do you have any regrets?
More reporters continued to badger the man with varying questions about his goals.
“No regrets at all,” Leorio said confidently. “In fact, I'd like to say-”
“Why did you punch Ging?” A man asked, his question almost coming off as aggressive. “Was it a political stunt?”
“That's easy,” Leorio said, beginning to answer with much composure. “I'll tell ya, it wasn't-”
“How do you feel about Cheadle's initial endorsement in the final phases of the election?” Another inquires, this reporter having a bulky notepad out, insistently clicking their pen.
“I'll be hones-”
“Why did you wish to alter the Hunter Exam and how it functions?”
“Okay…” Leorio grumbled, quickly growing agitated with the frequency of himself being interrupted. He scratched the back of his neck, hesitating from snapping. “Listen here-”
“Do you believe Cheadle will be a good chairman?-”
“LET ME TALK, GODDAMMIT!” Leorio demanded, extremely frustrated with the inconsiderate nature of the interviewers.
There was a brief moment of silence, tense in nature.
Ahem. Leorio cleared his throat. “So-”
“Mr. Leorio, do you ever consider-?”
“I'LL KILL YOU, BASTARD-!”
And so, the interview was interrupted by a much-needed ad break. Gon couldn't help but laugh. Leorio always did seem to let his frustration get the best of him. Gon was so incredibly grateful for his friend’s kindness regarding what had occurred, as he had been treated very tenderly. Leorio wished desperately to be a doctor, and Gon knew his friend wasn’t far off at all from the profession he dreamed of. In fact, he was honestly perfect at the job that he didn’t quite have yet.
For the past few days, Leorio had kept an insistently watchful eye on Gon. With the conditions in which Gon was healed, Leorio firmly stood with making sure there were no drawbacks or potential lingering harm done to his body. Gon had a hunch nothing was wrong, and he knew Leorio probably felt the same deep down, but he still made sure to monitor Gon diligently.
Gon really had nothing to do. He hadn’t been keeping track of how much time had passed, or how much time was left until he was to take the ferry to Whale Island. For hours on end, he would simply let his imagination take the wheel. For better or for worse, that was all he really did. When lost in his thoughts, he avoided thinking about the events that had occurred with the NGL, and instead about his past adventures. Ever since meeting with Ging at the top of the World Tree, he realized just how much he treasured the memories and friends he had made.
Especially the memories with Killua, he thought. He really missed his friend. Gon’s hands grasped at the rug of the hotel’s floor, and sighed. Not much he could do rather than keep his mind set straight on getting stronger. Gon allowed himself to shift, and sprawled himself out lazily on the floor, staring at the ceiling, watching the fan turn repetitively at a consistent speed. He stayed in this position for a relatively long while. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, and soon-
The door flung open, and Leorio walked wearily inside. He didn’t exactly look exhausted, but he looked like he had a long day. Gon perked up, and sat up to greet him.
“Welcome back, Leorio! How was it?”
“Absolutely terrible, Gon,” Leorio said, his voice laced with exasperation. He took off his suit jacket, and hung it up aggressively. He slammed the hotel keys on the table, and huffed. Each task he did made something so simple look like a chore. He then sighed, and looked at Gon, who simply watched, eagerly waiting for him to elaborate. “You saw the interview, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t want to miss it,” Gon said, chuckling. Based on how Leorio was acting, the situation certainly did not get better after the broadcast was cut off.
“Well, the press desperately needs to get their act together. The whole point of me being there was to talk, and they wouldn't let me get a single damn word in!” Leorio complained, grabbing an apple out of the minifridge. He took a large bite, then continued with his mouth full. “I mean, geez, and then when I get frustrated they scold ME for not putting up with their disrespect. News reporters are ridiculous these days.”
Gon nodded supportively.
“And now I’m banned from the press studio. So much for that,” Leorio untied his tie, and threw it on his bed. In turn, he sat at the edge of the mattress.
“Banned?” Gon mumbled, in slight shock. He had assumed it probably hadn’t gone fantastic, but it had really just gone absolutely terrible.
“Well, besides that, here’s some good news,” The lanky man said, taking another crisp bite of his apple. “There’s a lot of medical internship opportunities that have popped up for me after the whole election thing, meaning I might settle down in Swardani for a while as I study.”
Gon’s eyes lit up. “That’s awesome, Leorio!”
Leorio sat for a moment, staring at the wall, relishing in every bite of the fruit he held in his palm. His eyes lingered to the calendar on the wall.
“So that’s today, huh?” The man said, standing up and gazing at Gon fondly. He grabbed his phone and checked the date. No doubt about it.
“What is?” Gon inquired, pondering what his friend could have meant.
“The ferry arrives for your trip back to Whale Island,” Leorio says, his gaze shifting to the hotel window. His eyes wander, a bittersweet feeling welling up in his chest.
“That’s today?” Gon remarked, not necessarily asking it as a question to his friend, but as a thought that accidentally slipped into reality. He had really lost track of time. That was that, then. Once he returned to his home, that marked the end of his adventures. He would just be a normal kid for however long he stayed there for.
“Gon, you remember the promise you made, right?” Leorio acknowledged, biting his apple once more. “With whatever Nen training you’re planning on doing.”
Gon nodded.
“Take it easy, okay?”
Gon smiled, and nodded once more.
Leorio grinned back, and grabbed back his suit jacket. “Alright, Gon,” He walked over to the hotel’s closet, grabbed one of the sweaters and shorts he had bought for Gon to wear while he stayed with him, and placed it on Gon’s bed. “Get changed, and we can head up to the dock.”
“Okay!” Gon exclaimed, and acquired the clothes that his friend had gathered. He headed to the bathroom, and shut the door. “I’ll be just a minute!” Maybe he would have to live the life of an average island kid, and it would be a whole lot different than the norm he was currently used to. But he still went on those adventures, and they still stuck with him. He would still be a hunter, and he could relearn the things that he lost. He could still overcome his weakness. Gon hurried and changed out of his pajamas, and headed straight out of the bathroom thereafter.
“You ready?” Leorio asked, tying the tie he threw on his mattress in a fit of rage. “We can pick up anything you might want for the trip on our way there if you need to.”
“I’ll be just fine, but thank you, Leorio,” Gon said, beaming at his friend’s kindness.
Gon may have been a whole lot more mellow since the whole NGL situation, but he still knew how to brighten up anyone’s mood. Leorio chuckled, then opened the hotel room’s door. “Alright, then let’s head out.”
-
Gon and Leorio walked together through the city, making their way to the dock, Gon still seeming to be taking in the sights surrounding him. Gon would make silly comments, and Leorio would simply laugh or reprimand him for “poking fun at his elders”.
Leorio looked over at Gon, who was captivated by a specific corner store. He chuckled. “What, you want something?” Leorio asked, nudging Gon.
Gon gazed at the shop’s window. Compared to other stores, it was rather run-down, but there was one thing in particular that had caught his eye. The Choco-Robos in the window display. His walking slowed, and he simply stared. “No, just… thinking,” Gon replied, his gaze softening as he stared.
“You sure? I got lotsa pocket money that I brought just in case-” Leorio took a gander at the windowsill himself, and… “Oh.” Leorio rubbed the back of his head, and sighed. He laid his hand delicately atop Gon’s shoulder, and patted it reassuringly. “That was Killua’s favorite, right?”
Gon nodded, his caramel-colored eyes burning with focus, a wash of melancholy seeming to linger in his irises. “Yeah,” Gon responded, his gleeful tone sounding rather forced.
“Look, Gon,” Leorio said, his grip tightening on his friend’s shoulder. “You miss him, right? But you need to understand, you both needed different things. That’s why you split.” Gon’s expression still didn’t seem to soften up. Leorio hesitated, but soon continued. “Listen, kid. You’re treating it like you’ll never see him again. Lighten up. I’m sure that in due time, you two’ll be laughing it up even more than you ever have before.”
Gon's fixed gaze seemed to falter, and he then turned to look at Leorio. “You’re right. He’s my best friend in the whole world, after all. I’ll definitely make it up to him!”
The lanky man chuckled. “I doubt you’ll need to do much of anything to joke with that kid once more.” Leorio tugged gently on Gon’s sleeve, notioning for them to get going. “Well?”
“‘Kay, let’s go!” Gon said, rushing ahead of Leorio and breaking away from his light grip, walking with a newfound enthusiasm. The man put his hands in his pockets, and sighed with a tinge of relief. Those two really are something else, he thought to himself.
Soon enough, the two of them had arrived at the dock. The ferry was ready for boarding, however, it wasn’t leaving for another hour or so. Leorio noted that it was ghostly empty, which was to be expected. Whale Island was rather remote, with more tourists and travellers coming in and out of the area than residents. For some reason, Leorio felt a pang of emotions welling up inside of him. He wasn’t sure why, but watching Gon start heading towards the boarding point made him shed a couple tears.
“What’s wrong, Leorio?” Gon said, turning back towards his friend. He seemed to be a bit caught in his emotions himself.
“Nothin’, Gon,” The man said, trying to make his continuous sniffles inconspicuous. “Just… feels like this is the end of a huge chapter of our lives, y’know? Who knows when the next time the whole gang's together will be.”
“Yeah, I get what you mean.” Gon rubbed his eyes, although it was hard to tell from where Leorio was standing if he was actually crying. One could take a guess, however. “Leorio, actually, could you do me a big favor?”
“What’s up?”
“I know a way you could maybe help with my Nen training, indirectly. I promise it'll keep me safer, and I'll be real careful. It’s just probably gonna take a little bit of research on your end.”
“I’m all ears, Gon.”
-
Gon finally began to board the ferry, and took one last stare at the city he had last seen two of his closest friends. The city he had been granted a second chance. The last city he would be “not normal” in for a long time. He sighed, but continued on. He knew that the future had something in store for him, although it wasn’t necessarily guaranteed to be what he expected.
He gazed over at Leorio one last time, who in turn hollered, “You better kick some ass with your studies, alright!?”
Gon laughed heartily. “I will!” He yelled from the ferry, waving at his friend who stood at the dock, preparing to depart.
Right. Even if he didn’t know what to expect, he could still steer the direction of his future slightly in his favor.
And that’s exactly what he was going to do.