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"What is that, boss? It smells divine." Though some members of PTMC's ED had been less than satisfied that Dr Baran Al-Hashimi had been named the new permanent chief of emergency medicine, Cassie McKay had been nothing but pleased with the woman who had been her boss for the past eleven months. She was an efficient leader, a friendly presence, and a terrific cook, plus it was nice to have another single mother to relate to and their kids got along well. The fact that the attending was extremely easy on the eyes didn't exactly hurt matters either.
"Khoresh Gheymeh, would you like some, Dr McKay? I know how easy it is for both residents, and single mothers, to forget to take adequate care of themselves." Her voice was kind, the same she reserved for patients struggling to accept help.
The resident offered a non-committal shrug, "I don't want to steal your lunch."
"Hardly, You know I always pack at least one extra portion in case someone needs to be fed, it would hardly be the first time I fed you." Her chief's voice was a gentle correction.
"That's kind of you, but I'm fine." She didn't like accepting help from people, something in her always felt like she'd taken too many hands up, too much kindness as she had dragged herself out of addiction, more than her fair share, and she didn't deserve more.
"Cassandra, please, I can hear your stomach growling."
The redhead ducked her head sheepishly, and took the container being offered to her. "Uh Thanks."
"Microwave it for 2 minutes, that'll be perfect." That gentle smile, those bunny teeth, it was too hard to say no.
The resident placed the container into the microwave. "Oh, Harrison finished the book Cyrus lent him. I’ve got it in my locker to give back to you.”
“Did he like it? The Black Cauldron is one of his favorites, so I’m sure he’ll try to talk Harrison’s ear off about it next time.” Cassie always admired the animated way the attending spoke about her son, honestly not dissimilar from the boy's own energy.
“You kidding? He’s obsessed, he wants to read all the rest of the books in the series."
"I'm delighted."
Cassie took the food out of the microwave and joined her at the table. "He's been trying to think of a book to recommend to Cyrus, to return the favor, you know."
"He doesn't need to do that, you know."
"I know that, but he won't hear it. I think he's happy to have a friend he relates to."
"Does he not have many at school?"
She sighed, Harrison had been having a tough time lately, and there was only so much she could do to make it better. She was his mother, but a boy needs someone in his corner that isn't his parent, and she was glad Cyrus had started to be that for him. "I think the dyslexia is kind of isolating, and I think his classmates aren't always kind about it, or the divorce, my past, you know?"
"How do middle-schoolers even know about your history?" The younger of the pair's voice rang with a note of righteous fury.
She shrugged, "Chad, Chloe, I don't know, rumors. They're not all true, but does it matter at that point?" She took a bite of the fragrant stew "Oh fuck, this is delicious, Dr Al-Hashimi."
Her interjection was met with a small chuckle, "You really can call me Baran, you know, as long as we're not in front of patients."
"I just don't want to be like, disrespectful or whatever." Truthfully, she'd been making a deliberate effort to think of the woman as Dr Al-Hashimi, her boss, and not allowing herself to think of the woman in any other context lest honey-highlighted curls and chocolate brown eyes become things she thinks about in the small hours of the night, when she felt lonely.
The attending laughed warmly, "Really, Cassie, you've been exceedingly respectful for the past ten months. Above and beyond. Even when you and Harrison see me outside of work."
The older woman flushed at the cheeks, rubbing the back of her neck with her left hand. "Well I just, that is to say, uh-"
Wide brown eyes met blue, Baran let her hand rest gently on Cassie’s forearm. "do I make you nervous, Cassandra?"
She looked away, "No. Or. I don't know. Sometimes."
"Hmm. Does Robby make you nervous? Other attendings? Or is it just me I wonder." Her hand drifted away from the resident, thoughtfully touching her chin.
The redhead took another bite of stew, buying herself time to reply.
“No matter. Though, if my behaviors are eliciting an undesirable response for you, I would hope that you’d inform me, I want our working relationship to be as pleasant as possible.” Baran almost looked worried, but there was something else playing behind her eyes that Cassie couldn't quite figure out.
“It’s not like that. Working with you is great. I’ve learned a lot from you.” There was no doubt in her mind about the fact that working under the new chief had done more for her education than two years with Robby, so what if pretty eyes, gentle steadying touches, and words of affirmation also sent nervous feeling racing along her spine.
“I should hope so.” There was something almost wolfish in the attending's smile.
Cassie tried to redirect the conversation, hoping that put the focus on her son, would soothe the nerves building within her. “So, I’ve been looking at my schedule, he’s been asking, any chance there’s a time next week we could get the boys together for an afternoon? maybe a sleepover?”
She was a little surprised that the attending didn't even need to check her calendar as she replied, and more so that the wolfish grin made no sign of departing. “Friday after school should work for us, and a sleepover at mine sounds perfect, is that okay with you?”
“Yeah that’s perfect, Harrison will be so excited.”
“You know, the boys will spend all their time in the den. The lounge will be free, and I have a guest room, if we wanted to make an evening of it ourselves.”
“I wouldn’t want to impose.” Surely the offer couldn't be serious, they'd met up outside of work a handful of times, but spending the night was surely a bridge too far, right?
“I’m inviting you. How could you possibly be imposing? Besides, my guest room gets used so seldom, it will be nice to have company.” She sounded so sincere, Cassie was still having trouble accepting the offer, but it seemed like Dr Al-Hashimi wanted her there.
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. Besides, I’ve been meaning to have a conversation with you about your career.”
Cassie swallowed hard. “My career?”
“Well, you’ll be starting your R4 year soon, yes? Have you been giving consideration to fellowship applications?” God, she had been meaning to work on that, but she just never found time, she knew she was on track for winding up in the same predicament that Samira had found herself in last year, but her friend had made it through that okay, and with only the one on-shift panic attack.
“I mean, I’ve been looking into things, but between work and being a mom, it’s hard to find time.”
“Well, this is a good opportunity for me to help you with that.”
“You don’t need to do that, Dr Al-, I mean, Baran.”
“I’m your attending, I’d like to think I’m your friend as well, and I’ve got an interest in the direction of your career.” The hungry grin had returned, something primordial dancing behind mahogany eyes.
“An interest?”
“Well, somewhat selfishly, perhaps, I’d prefer certain outcomes to others.” Her voice was laden with intention, though Cassie struggled to decipher the meaning behind it.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, Cassandra, if your fellowship takes you to another hospital, or out of my chain of authority, I’d finally be able to officially ask you out on a proper date.”
Cassie’s eyes went wide. Her brain simply stopped working. Noises screeching in her head not unlike the dial up modem of her youth.
Her mental shutdown was snapped by an uncharacteristically anxious voice from the usually level-headed attending. “I’m terribly sorry if I’ve misread things. As I said, the last thing I want is to make our working relationship uncomfortable.”
Cassie was nearly panicking, trying to wrap her brain around the moment, and Baran’s sudden withdrawal at the perceived rejection spiked her adrenaline. “No. Uh. Not at all. I thought I’d been imagining things is all. I had no idea that you. That is to say. I-“
Baran cut her off, smile returning to her face, “Come on now, be a good girl and use your words.” She was a little embarrassed by the way that sentence landed low in her abdomen.
“Baran?” Her voice came out soft, cracked like a prayer.
“Did you have a question?” The hungry smile returned, her eyes darkening.
“You’re interested in me?” She was still struggling with this revelation.
“I have been the whole time.”
“I’m just, sort of, caught off guard by this.” Cassie was staring at the now almost empty container, not quite sure how to handle the new information she had received.
“It’s alright if you’re not interested.”
“I definitely am. I just, thought it was all in my head.”
“It hasn’t been.”
Cassie realized she was now scraping at a fully empty container, and that Baran had definitely finished her food some time ago.
She let out a deep sigh, caught between a fragile moment and her sense of duty to her patients. "Well, I'm sure the board needs us, right Baran?"
The attending sighed in return, no doubt feeling the same weight of duty. "I suppose, but first, I've got a little something special for you."
She reached into her lunch bag and pulled out another small container, opening it and withdrawing something small with a glossy sheen. "Here, open wide."
Cassie's eyes widened, but her mouth opened dutifully. Baran, eyes dark, placed the honeyed fig onto the resident's tongue, allowing her thumb, slightly sticky with honey, to drag across the older woman's lip. Then taking her index finger and sucking the honey from it in her own mouth.
The redhead's eyes closed reverently as she crushed the sweet fruit in her mouth, savoring the sticky soft delicacy. "Oh my god." The rich flavor enveloped her mind, the entirety of expedience narrowing to the heady mix of texture aroma and sweetness. She imagined kissing Baran, lips sticky with honey, sweet richness on both of their tongues. She swallowed slowly, eyes fluttering open.
The younger woman quirked a perfectly groomed eyebrow, as she met Cassie’s gaze. "Sweets for the sweet."
Cassie grinned blissfully back at her, "I know you said you always pack extra food, but I hope not everyone is getting that treatment."
"Just you, Cassandra."
The break room door swung open, "Dr Al-Hashimi, can I get your opinion on a..." Trinity Santos grinned, eyes darting back and forth between the two women, both suddenly very aware of their proximity to each other. "oooh, something finally happened didn't it. Thank god, you two have been staring after each other like puppies for months."
Cassie flushed all the way to her ears, Baran simply smirked. Striding confidently to sanitize her hands, and following the green-eyed interruption into the hallway, off to manage the department with no doubt the same gentle even hand that had nearly unraveled her so delicately moments ago. "I have no idea what you mean, Dr Santos. Now, tell me about this case."
The resident stood there for a moment, eyes closed, suddenly much more excited about the prospect of next Friday’s double sleepover.