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Moe had managed to convince them all to go visit a haunted house nearby, despite it being the middle of june.
"What kind of weirdo hosts a haunted house in june?" Ze complained.
Moe shrugged. "Honk honk honk. Honk honk."
"Good point."
The three piled into the car, Moe in shotgun since the last time Regect was in the front he'd tried messing with Ze by wrenching the steering wheel to one side and nearly killing them all.
"Are you sure this is even like, legit?" Ze questioned Moe as he turned the ignition.
Moe shrugged, about to say something when Regect leaned in between them from the back and started fiddling with the music player. The car was a somewhat old piece of shit so it took CD's better than any crackling radio station. It just so happened ReGect fancied himself a CD collector. He was also the one to find them the car. Was it a plot to make sure he always got aux? Probably.
"Oh, guys, I just picked this one up the other day from some shady ass guy, it's (insert musician here)."
"Nobody cares," Ze shoved ReGect back in his seat.
"Hey!" ReGect complained. Despite being unable to push the play button in time, he used his entity powers or something to start the track. The one fucking time he remembers to use them.
"So, Moe, you said you got the directions?" Ze asked, turning the music volume down enough that Moe could hear him but ReGect wouldn't get bitchy about it either.
Moe honked in affirmation, unfolding a comically large map and pointing to a red circle on it.
Ze shifted the car into drive, stepping on the gas. He was definitely not a very safe driver but he always got to where he wanted to go and that's what matters, right?
Moe had the foresight to fasten her seatbelt, but she still let out a honk of alarm. ReGect shouted in the back seat as he hit his fat invisible head on the car roof.
After only a few mishaps with a mailbox, a moose and a pedestrian (don't ask) they finally pulled up to the haunted house. Ze shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, honestly. When you picture haunted house, you picture a decrepit abandoned house desolate of life and rotting away, right? This was just some suburban home with a few poorly placed clumps of store-bought cobweb and a few Spirit Halloween animatronics outside it. Honestly it was a nice house, just a shit haunted house.
"Dude, what the hell is this?" Ze turned around in his seat to ask Regect.
"Dude, I dunno! I heard it was scary and shit! Anyway, don't judge a book by it's cover or whatever- maybe it's scary on the inside."
"Honk honk."
"Yeah, what she said," Ze nodded. "This shit isn't even youtube short worthy."
Regect scoffed, exiting the car and slamming the door behind him. Ze rolled his eyes, pocketing the car keys after making sure his parking job wasn't shit enough to be towed. Regect had made a head start, rounding on the porch of the house and tapping his visible foot impatiently.
"He's so easy to ragebait," Ze sighed, rubbing his temple and smiling at Moe.
"Honk honk! Honk." Moe honked cheerfully, a smile on her face.
"Hey!" Ze exclaimed in mock offense, tugging at one of Moe's braids playfully. "I'm definitely not as easy as him, c'mon!"
Moe rolled her eyes with a smile, reaching to ruffle Ze's hair.
"You guys aren't talking about me, are you? Because if you are, I talk about you guys when you're not there all the time, so don't even think I-"
"My god, you're such a baby," Ze sighed. "What would I even say behind your back that I don't already say to your ugly face?"
"Honk! Honk honk?" Moe inquired, mischevious glint in her eye.
"Moe, don't side with him!" Regect whined, trailing behind the two as they knocked on the front door.
After a few moments of silence, Ze tried the handle to find it unlocked. Weird- but, hey, isn't weird the whole point of a haunted house?
Ze nudged the door open to an empty foyer. Not empty as in, like, unfurnished- there was nobody there. Normal furniture like a table and shoe rack were adorned with fake spiders and signs that said BOO!
"Tacky," Ze mumbled. Moe honked, weaving around him to get a look around. There was fake caution tape barring the stairs from access in a feeble attempt to keep people from wandering upstairs.
Regect approached a closet door in the foyer hallway, reaching for the knob when it exploded open in front of him.
Regect shrieked, jumping back and into Ze, who did not catch him. Regect clung to Ze's neck anyway, holding himself up with his tail between his legs.
"Pussy," Ze scoffed as Regect let go of Ze and brushed himself off like he hadn't just been scared shitless.
"Shut up," Regect hissed, attention turning toward the strange woman that stood in front of them. She must have been the reason the door flew open. Weird, but it was whatever.
"Hello, and welcome!" The woman exclaimed. She was wearing a costume witch hat, a shirt with the face of a jack-o'-lantern on it, and a black cape. A few smeared stitches adorned her arms and forehead. She spoke with a lisp from the plastic vampire teeth in her mouth and clutched a broomstick. "I hope you're prepared to be scared..." She said in a spooky voice.
"That rhymed," Regect pointed out.
The woman pointed at him. "Well, aren't you an observant... Thing! I'm sure those keen uhh-" (does he even have eyes he doesn't have a head) "-occipital receptors of yours will come in handy as you notice every chilling detail!"
"Is this really it?" Ze asked, looking annoyed. "Man, what a waste of gas."
"We could stop at 5 guys on the way home," Regect suggested.
Ze put a finger to his chin contemplatively. "Not a bad idea. Maybe we can pick up some stuff too- Fontay has been asking for more nether wart."
"Honk honk!"
Regect nodded in agreement. "He's batshit enough as he is yaknow."
"We're staying at his house, we owe him favors!" Ze argued.
The group turned to the door, ready to head to the nearby town for some grub.
The woman skidded to a stop in front of the door before they could reach it, splaying her arms out. "Wait! Don't leave!"
"Honk?"
Ze put a hand on his hip. "Listen, lady, we came here to get scared and I'm not seeing any scary shit. Plus, it's not even October."
"Wh- the month is irrelevant- It's plenty scary in here-" the woman stuttered. ReGect moved closer to the door, making her ramble in an attempt to get her newest customers to stay.
"W-wait! You want to see some cool, scary stuff? I got tons of cool stuff in the basement! And scary stuff! I promise it'll be worth it!"
Ze eyed her suspiciously. He shared a glance between ReGect and Moe, contemplating. They did come all the way out here. Might as well see whatever she's talking about. Also, Moe and ReGect seemed to be excited.
"...Alright, but if it's boring, I'm leaving a one star review," Ze conceded. His friends shared a glance and grinned.
She led the three of them to the basement through a rather nice kitchen, ReGect inquiring as to whether she'd renovated it recently. She proudly told him she had as she turned the knob to the basement.
She turned the light to the basement on, but it flickered unsteadily and remained dim. Ze held onto the banister as he descended the creaky wooden steps. The upstairs was quite nice, but it seemed no love had been spared for the basement. The walls were concrete and cracked, cobwebs crowding the corners. She led them to where a dark cloth tent was set up, pulling the entrance to one side and beckoning them inside. The inside was lit by a handful of plastic battery-powered candles.
"Sketchy as shit..." Ze muttered, ducking inside. Moe squeaked her horn in agreement.
"Now that you've all gathered here..." The woman said, reaching for a weird wooden stick laid on the floor of the tent. She raised it to the ceiling proudly.
"I must reveal my true identity as the Witch of Convenient Plot Devices!" She announced, swishing her cape and posing.
"Uhh okay," ReGect shrugged.
"Honk?"
"I shall now demonstrate my powers with a spell of mine! The spell of revelation!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah you definitely made that up but whatever," Ze scoffed.
"Ah, you dare question my powers?" She said with all the same bravado. "The spell of revelation reveals one's true self!"
"What does that even mean?" Ze asked. "And how's that supposed to be scary?"
"Question not my powers. Gaze upon the fruits of my labor as I reveal your true selves!"
She lifted the staff and all at once the plastic candles went out, plunging them into darkness. Moe squeaked in alarm but the tent was soon illuminated. The stick the woman held glowed, purple particles emanating from it. She twirled it in a circle before pointing it at the three onlookers with a cackle.
The lights went out once again, plunging them into darkness.
After a few moments, Ze spoke up. "So, was that supposed to do something, or what?" He asked. He didn't feel any different for sure.
"Why yes! Let me illuminate the room once more so you can observe one another's true selves!" The 'witch' announced.
The candles came back on one by one, dimly illuminating the space.
"Oh, shit," ReGect said once the lights were enough to see one another.
Moe honked in surprise, looking down at her hands in shock.
Moe looked... Mostly the same. The biggest difference was the darkening in her skin tone and the change in her hair texture. Her clown makeup stayed in place, the white base contrasting her brown skin.
ReGect looked- wait... Where was he? In the place of the entity stood... A young man? He had dark skin, thick locs, and a golden collar and chain around his neck. It reminded Ze of-
"ReGect?" Ze gaped. The entity was wearing dark robes, arranged to imitate his previously invisible leg and torso by leaving those areas exposed, a few golden markings on his torso outlining his now inside his body ribs. He looked... Human.
Ze felt a slight heat rise to his face. Not only did he have a face now, but it was a rather pretty one. His soft jaw and nose complimented his round eyes and lips, a pair of golden angel bites on his lip mirroring his formerly sharp teeth. As ReGect's gaze turned toward Ze, though, he could confirm it to be his entity purely based on the look in his eyes.
"Dude, is that you?" ReGect asked, staring at Ze and pointing. He seemed to notice his hand and nearly jumped out of his skin. "Yo! What the fuck?" He lifted a hand to his throat above the collar, where his previously exaggerated deep voice had settled into a more natural deep voice.
ReGect lifted his hand to his face, examining the palm. Moe was doing the same with her hair, combing through it with various honks.
"Wonderful, my spell worked!" The witch exclaimed, pulling a black sheet off the mirror in the corner that had somehow escaped their notice. "Take a look for yourselves!"
The three huddled around the single mirror, pushing eachother in an attempt to see themselves better. Once Ze did get a look at himself, though, he realized something-
He looked how he did in real life.
Where he'd previously been a starkly white dude (like literally white) and pretty much plain looking, he saw... Himself staring back.
His skin was the same tan as in real life, his short cropped haircut translating to his avatar as well. His familiar dark eyes looked at himself beneath furry eyebrows and a pronounced nose. Even the slit in his eyebrow was consistent. He was wearing clothes more similar to his avatar instead of the baggy shirt and shorts he was wearing in real life. A large hoodie with a big fat Z plastered on it enveloped Ze. He seemed to be wearing some kind of under layer of clothes, like a bodysuit or something. His pants were baggy black cargos. The only other noticeable difference was the black bandana wrapped around his head.
"That's... Uncanny," Ze remarked, touching his face.
"Honk!" Moe agreed. Her avatar also seemed to be reflecting how she looked in real life.
ReGect however...
He was staring at his face, pushing and pulling at his features. It must be weird to suddenly have a head. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and nose and ears.
"Dude, gross," Ze complained.
"What!?" He glared. "It's weird having new holes and stuff!"
Ze could probably make a joke somewhere about that but he was too preoccupied with the effects of the spell.
"You're even more of a chud now," Ze sighed.
"Wh-I- Well you're uglier than I thought you'd be!" ReGect sputtered.
"What, you thought I'd look pretty or something?" Ze rolled his eyes.
"Honk honk!"
"Aw, thanks Moe," Ze said at the same time ReGect scoffed, "Fibber."
"Well, what does everyone think of my spell?" The witch inquired, spinning once and clapping her hands together.
"It's... Kinda freaky," Ze remarked.
"Yeah this shit is mad weird," ReGect commented, still observing his new head in the mirror.
"Honk!"
The witch scratched her chin. "Well... I did promise something super interesting didn't I? It looks like I delivered! I conclude this spell a success!"
The witch bowed. "Aaaand with that, I take my leave!" She twirled, the candles once again flickering out. When the light returned a few moments later, she was gone. Nevermind that they could hear her footsteps heading upstairs.
"Man this is..." ReGect trailed off, deciding he'd looked at his face enough and glanced at the rest of his body. When he noticed the half of his body that was naked he yelped and covered his chest with his arms. "Don't look at me!"
"Dude, chill out," Ze said, smirk evident in his tone.
"I've never had nipples before! This is so weird oh my god," ReGect's embarrassment and conflicted expression were evident on his face. Without having a head, he'd never learned to hide the emotions on his face. Being able to read him so easily was pretty entertaining.
"We all have nipples, dude," Ze pointed out.
"Honk honk!"
"You guys suck," ReGect scoffed, tugging his robe over to cover his whole front half.
"...Well, that wasn't scary at all. Let's go." Ze shrugged, turning to pull the entrance flap aside, Moe behind him.
"Wait, wait guys," Regect exclaimed. "Just- gimme a minute, would you?"
"What, you embarrassed? The only difference is you got an ugly face to go with your ugly personality." Ze held his hand up to Moe for a high five but she just shook her head and sighed with her horn (dont ask how she did that she just did).
"Fuck you." ReGect immediately spat back. "I-it- well-" he stammered. "That's a big fucking difference isn't it? Imagine if you got a tail or something? I don't know how this shit works!"
"Honk honk?"
"Yeah, like Moe said- you had a head before, it was just invisible for whatever fucking reason."
"Well, yeah, but like, I never saw it! And I definitely don't remember it feeling like this!" ReGect whined, twisting in front of the mirror to look at his back.
"Oh my god, you're such a baby," Ze groaned. "Moe, let's go to the car."
"Honk. Honk honk!" Moe agreed, leaving the tent.
"Wait, guys-!" ReGect cried out pathetically. They ignored him and headed upstairs.
Piling back into the car as a pair, Moe continued to look at her hands. Now that it wasn't as dark, Ze could notice the more subtle changes- some colors and patterns on her clown outfit were different, and she had worn sneakers on her feet instead of the large clown ones. A few freckles teased the outer edge of her makeup.
Ze looked at himself in the car's mirror once again, unused to appearing like this in Minecraft. Even smaller scars and freckles had translated. The scratch he'd gotten a few days ago manifested as the same healing scar as he had in person. Ze sighed and leaned back in the driver's seat.
"5 minutes and we leave him," Ze offered. Moe honked in agreement.
It was a long four minutes and twenty-three seconds before ReGect finally emerged, dark hood pulled over his head to hide his face and robes adjusted to cover as much of him as possible. He looked like a grim reaper.
"Honk honk honk," Moe honked, echoing Ze's thoughts.
ReGect timidly slid into the backseat of the car, fidgeting with his clothing. It was a stark contrast to the ride here.
"Hey, if you're wearing clothes now, does that mean you're usually naked?" Ze asked, pulling out of the driveway and making a mental note to never go there again. Unless the spell's effects never wore off, in which case they'd probably have to threaten that lady.
"Why are you even asking that??" Regect glared. "This is a serious situation!"
"Oh yeah, real high stakes," Ze deadpanned. "Looking like a human is sure to get you in some real danger."
Moe giggled, turning around to offer ReGect a few honks of encouragement and telling him not to be so timid because it was unlike him and it was weirding her out. Reasonable.
ReGect accepted Moe's words dejectedly, slumping in his seat and pouting silently.
"Well, I'm gonna take us to the farmer's market," Ze announced. "We need groceries. And we're getting that nether wart."
"Honk honk..." Moe suggested
Ze sighed, "Yeah, we can get some blaze powder for you too, Moe." Moe smiled.
ReGect seemed to be in a foul enough mood that he didn't even demand the aux, letting Moe play her weird circus clown music. By the time they'd almost reached the market, Ze was getting used to the tune.
After parking way too far away since all the good parking spots were taken, Ze turned off the ignition.
ReGect seemed to be over his pouting, following Ze and Moe curiously as they led the way. ReGect hadn't been here before, usually opting to go get something to eat (fatass) while Moe and Ze shopped.
"You looking for something, ReGect?" Ze asked, glancing at the gloomy entity that didn't look like an entity. "Usually you're halfway down the street munching on a big mac."
"I would never eat McDonalds! That stuff is gross!" ReGect immediately snapped, glaring at Ze when he saw that the other was ragebaiting him. "Anyway, I was hoping to get clothes that actually cover my body. Since I don't actually own any clothes and IDK how long this spell is gonna last."
"Did you just abbreviate IRL?" Ze snickered. Then he realized his mistake.
"Honk honk!" Moe exclaimed.
Ze sighed. Who even says IRL, IRL?
The farmer's market was bustling, a bunch of different species mingling like it was no big deal. It was still weird to Ze to see sharp-toothed, menacing entities buying homemade pies from an old woman with the head of a cat. That's just how shit was in this weird-ass minecraft world.
"Honk honk?"
"Alright, Moe, the plan is... split up and get your shit and meet back here in... fifteen?" Ze laid out.
ReGect rolled his eyes. "Fifteen minutes is like fifteen seconds when you're shopping. Give us 30."
Moe nodded in agreement. Ze sighed and relented.
"Convene in 30," he asserted, sticking his hand out in front of him. Moe put her hand on his, followed by Regect.
"3, 2, 1, disperse!" Ze shouted, sprinting away from the others like the eyes were on his tail.
Moe immediately got with the program, sprinting in the direction of the blaze rod dealer. ReGect just kinda stood there confusedly for a few seconds before scurrying off.