Chapter Text
The bus ride back from the attempted track meet was quiet. All of the wolves seemed to be avoiding each other, and the humans involved in turn avoided the wolves.
Stiles rested his head against the bus window and loaded Spotify on his phone, searching for any sort of escape. Closing his eyes he simply listened to the music the application offered, happy to be away from the tense situation. It felt like his mind kept drifting to an even more tense situation though. As he kept wondering what happened to Derek.
It wasn't like they had been together romantically, well not the whole time, there was one incident- but over the summer Stiles spent a lot of time around the Hale. Scott was seemingly always busy and Stiles mind was always wrapped around something, and werewolves was a good mind wrapping topic.
Stiles was honestly very worried about his friend, as they had become close over the summer. The pack had recently started referring to them as "mom" and "dad", which had initially caused awkward tension between the two.
It had also inspired a situation that neither of them predicted when they went to a lake, as decided by Erica. When the two were left alone they sat and watched the pack, simply watching over their "family" they had created. When suddenly Derek looked at Stiles seriously, "Stiles, would you want the bite? I mean hypothetically."
Stiles sat up and looked at the wolf, surprised by what this was ignited by.
"Why?" He simply asked in reply.
"Never mind." Derek said and went back to tensely watching the pack.
"Derek, why?" Stiles asked and grabbed the alphas shoulder to make the older face him.
Derek suddenly reached out and grabbed the back of Stiles' neck and pulled him into an abrupt kiss. But once Stiles had comprehended what happened Derek was gone.
Towards the end of the summer though Derek and Stiles had taken the pack out to swim at the lake after Erica had pressured them into it, again, and they resolved the tension. Derek seemed so awkward around Stiles after the kiss. Stiles assumed it was a fluke, and wanted the pack back to normal so he resolved the situation as Derek nodded along.
Little did Stiles know though that Derek would soon close up entirely and end all communication between them as soon as the alphas showed themselves as a threat. In turn the betas also grew distant and Stiles simply accepted the fact.
Stiles didn't mind the distance as it was how the pack initially was, but it hurt to lose parts of his friends he knew he would never get back. For example, how closed up Boyd was after they lost Erica, and losing Erica all together was even worse.
Stiles sighed at the thought and turned the volume up as the song changed.
The intro to the song was very different from his station, but Stiles trusted the beauty of Spotify. So he closed his eyes and focused on the lyrics to distract his mind.
"Blue jeans, White shirt
Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn
It was like James Dean, for sure
You so fresh to death & sick as ca-cancer."
Maybe it was Stiles previous thoughts but his mind painted a picture of Derek with the lyrics. It wasn't his fault he fit the description.
"You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop
But you fit me better than my favourite sweater,"
Stiles simply breathed in, feeling tense, feeling the awkward sensation he had between Derek and himself after the kiss. Maybe it was the lyrics striking a chord in him be had previously ignored but the image became more vivid.
"and I know
That love is mean, and love hurts
But I still remember that day we met in December, oh baby!"
No what they had wasn't love, Derek would never love Stiles. And even if Stiles had any feelings of the sort before he knew he couldn't hurt Derek when he helped Scott. There wasn't love, and Stiles was 65% positive of that.
"I will love you till the end of time
I would wait a milion years
Promise you'll remember that you're mine."
Stiles suddenly remembered something he had pushed off during the summer. When he had dozed off on the couch with Derek in the loft and had distinctly hurt Derek whisper above him, "Mine." Before he ran a hand through Stiles hair and turned off the light.
Had Stiles been wrong? Had he been too tired to fit the pieces together?
"Baby can you see through the tears?
Love you more
Than those bitches before
Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
I will love you till the end of time"
Stiles kept his eyes closed as his thumbs twirled around each other, had he been wrong and the kiss and question meant something? Stiles sighed as he heard the next verse coming and decided to not over think currently.
"Big dreams, gangster
Said you had to leave to start your life over"
Stiles felt a pang in his heart as he could almost relate these words to Derek's once the alphas came and Derek left him, alone.
"I was like: "no please, stay here,"
We don't need no money we can make it all work
But he headed out on Sunday, said he'd come home Monday
I stayed up waitin', anticipatin' and pacin' but he was
Chasing paper
"Caught up in the game" that was the last I heard."
Stiles physically cringed as he related the story to his own, Derek had left to fight the alphas and Stiles knew, he waited for some kind of sign they had won. Something all night, Derek normally contacted him to let him know the pack was okay. He normally let Stiles be "mom". But that night he heard nothing.
"I will love you till the end of time
I would wait a milion years
Promise you'll remember that you're mine
Baby can you see through the tears?
Love you more
Than those bitches before
Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
I will love you till the end of time."
Stiles slowly opened his eyes when he realized he had thought of Kate with the lyrics of "those bitches before" and wondered how much he denied feeling in the equation all along.
"He went out every night
And baby that's alright
I told you that no matter what you did I'd be by your side
Cause Ima ride or die
Whether you fail or fly
Well shit, at least you tried. "
Stiles looked out the window as he felt this was his internal journal speaking to him through the lyrics of a song.
"But when you walked out that door, a piece of me died
I told you I wanted more-but that not what I had in mind
I just want it like before
We were dancin all night
Then they took you away- stole you out of my life
You just need to remember... "
Stiles couldn't even breathe for a moment as he realized his feelings for the alpha. The reason he had been so technical and on top of everything was because he denied the emotion. He had denied it until it was too late. Derek was dead now and he had just realized there could have been more. The alphas had taken away all the chances he had with Derek, and Stiles only just realized this. He glared at the back of Ethan's head.
"I will love you till the end of time
I would wait a milion years
Promise you'll remember that your mine
Baby can you see through the tears?
Love you more
Than those bitches before
Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
I will love you till the end of time."
By this point Stiles was sitting next to Ethan, he was livid. He was silent for a moment after the song ended, trying to control himself.
"What happened to Derek? I saved your life. Did you save his? No one has heard from him." Stiles whispered through gritted teeth, he knew Scott could hear but both of them were just too scared to ask.
Ethan eyed Stiles, deciding on something in his mind. Stiles continued to burn holes through the alphas head with his eyes until Ethan nodded, apparently deciding on something.
"Look, for saving my life I will offer you this. We think Derek is alive. None of us are sure but we didn't finish him off." Ethan said and Stiles sat stiffly for a moment before going back to his seat and exhaling. Derek might be alive, he made eye contact with Scott.
They knew they had a mission.