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Dan wasn’t entirely sure how he’d gotten to where he was.
It was a room. A bedroom, to be specific. Although… not one that Dan had ever seen before. It was a double bed with big checker-patterned bedsheets on it, half of it going from green to purple and the other half of it being varying shades of grey. There were other furnishings as well, but everything aside from the bed—including the walls and floor—were entirely white.
After spending a moment taking in his surroundings, Dan took a tentative step forward. His footsteps were muffled like he was underwater, but he could still breathe and move perfectly normally otherwise.
“Er… hello?” he called out after a minute. There was no response. He slowly turned around, and to his surprise there was a new piece of coloured furniture in the room. It was a simple dresser, looking quite high-quality, a deep mahogany brown.
Surprised and confused, Dan approached the new dresser. “…What the fuck?”
“Who the hell are you?”
Dan spun around at the sound of his own voice coming from behind him. And standing there, to Dan’s absolute surprise and confusion, was Dan. He looked a bit older, stood a bit taller, seemed a lot happier; but it was still Dan.
“Oh my god,” this new Dan exclaimed softly. “What…?”
The two Dans stared at each other for a long moment. Dan—normal, young, confused Dan—was absolutely terrified. Was this some sort of joke? Was he dreaming? He supposed it would probably make sense that he was dreaming, huh? Yeah, why hadn’t he considered that before? Obviously, this was a dream.
“Okay, you can wake up now,” he told himself (the real himself, not the other guy) weakly, bringing a hand up to his hair and twisting his fringe violently. “I’ve… had enough….”
The other Dan looked just as uncomfortable, standing there and staring with wide eyes. Maybe in a minute, Dan would work up enough nerve to ask Other Dan who the hell he was and why he was there, but for the moment, he was busy having a panic attack. Fingernails bit into Dan’s arm, dangerously close to drawing blood. If it was a dream, wouldn’t he have woken up by now? Was something wrong? Did he do something wrong?
“Hey.”
Dan looked up violently as Other Dan approached him.
“Are you okay?” Other Dan asked. Dan scoffed inwardly. As if this guy actually cares. “I, um…. You’re panicking a bit, aren’t you?”
“No shit,” Dan breathed.
Other Dan hesitated before stepping forward further, taking Dan into his arms and giving him a hug. Dan stiffened, surprised, before leaning into it. It was rare for people to notice when he needed a hug, and he was never confident enough to voice it, so it wasn’t really something that happened anymore. It felt nice, though, so he didn’t protest.
“What’s going on?” Dan asked after it felt like the hug should be over.
“I don’t know either,” Other Dan said. “Believe me, I did not expect to randomly be comforting my past self in this strange white room.”
“P… past self?” Dan echoed, confused. He wiped at his eye before any tears managed to escape, then watched Other Dan incredulously. “The hell are you on about?”
“I mean, that’s what I assume is going on,” Other Dan added in a murmur. “What year are you from? 2007? ’6?”
“’7,” Dan replied cautiously.
“I’m from 2009,” Other Dan said, offering a small smile. “Or no, wait—early 2010 I guess it is now.”
“…That’s not possible,” Dan whispered. “How would a dream know what I’m like in 2010?”
“Oh my god, if you’re from 2007 then you haven’t met Phil yet,” Dan from 2010 exclaimed randomly, his face suddenly overcome with an expression that Dan had never once seen on himself prior. “That’s so crazy.”
“Phil?” Dan repeated. “Who’s Phil? Like… the guy from YouTube? AmazingPhil?”
“Yeah,” 2010 Dan sighed happily in response. He looked… lovestruck?
Dan shook his head. No, not lovestruck. Couldn’t be. That would be so weird, because Phil is a man’s name, usually, and AmazingPhil is for sure a man. It must’ve been a mistake on 2010 Dan’s part—he misheard him, or something. No way Dan falls in love with a man. No way in hell. Although to be fair, from what Dan had seen in the few AmazingPhil videos he’s watched, Phil was pretty… well, pretty.
But no, he shook that thought away about as quickly as it had come. There was no time to think about that right then. He still had to figure out what the hell was going on here.
“Okay, so,” Dan said, taking a step back from 2010 Dan and once again glancing around the room, “you’re weird and delusional. Okay. Good to know. I’m going to try to find a way out of here now.”
“I’m not delusional,” 2010 Dan protested. “You’ll know exactly what I mean, when you get to know him better.”
Dan shook his head, ignoring 2010 Dan’s words. “Sure. Whatever, I don’t care. I just want to find out what exactly is—”
Footsteps. Both Dan and 2010 Dan spun around, focusing instantly on yet another person appearing in the room. This one was… also Dan, but he looked even older. Not as happy as 2010 Dan, though; in fact, this one looked borderline distressed.
“Oh, okay,” he murmured, sounding as troubled as he looked. “I’ve finally snapped, then, haven’t I?”
“Um,” Dan and 2010 Dan started in unison. Neither of them quite liked the look of this third Dan, especially if 2010 Dan was right and all these new Dans were Dan’s future selves. “Are you okay?” 2010 Dan tried.
“Yeah, just peachy,” the new Dan replied sarcastically. “Just busy hiding my true self and my boyfriend from the entirety of the internet, you know, nothing new.”
Dan groaned. “Again with the boyfriend stuff! Seriously, what is up with you people? Are you okay?”
The two other Dans exchanged a glance. “What?”
“You’re pranking me, right?” Dan asked, beginning to get perhaps just a bit hysterical. “You mean girlfriend. It’s not a guy named Phil, right?”
“The hell do you mean by that?” the newest Dan exclaimed, suddenly extremely aggressive. “Phil is wonderful.”
“I’m not trying to be rude to this Phil guy,” Dan added quickly, “I’m just clarifying that I’m not with him. I’m straight.”
“Oh boy,” 2010 Dan mumbled under his breath.
“Okay, what is going on here?” the new Dan asked, managing to calm down a bit. “How does this guy not know who Phil is?”
“He’s from 2007,” 2010 Dan explained.
“What? And when are you from, then?” the new Dan asked.
“2010.”
“Damn, I’m from 2015,” the new Dan muttered. He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “What I’d give to be back in 2010….”
“I’m so confused,” Dan wailed, burying his face in his hands. “Who the hell is this Phil guy and why are you both from the future?”
“Why is this the dream I’m having tonight?” 2015 Dan muttered bitterly. “I liked last night’s better. Nobody needs this many of me, especially me.”
“You can say that again,” a new, deeper Dan voice grumbled from behind them all. Spinning around, they saw a Dan who looked even more troubled and depressed than the one from 2015.
“Okay, let’s get this over with right away,” 2010 Dan said before anyDan else got the chance to. “What year are you from?”
“Fuckin’… 2019, I think?” he replied slowly. He looked absolutely exhausted, and not at all happy to be where he was. “Wait, no. 2020. Yeah, ‘cause COVID.”
“…Who’s Covid?” 2015 Dan asked anxiously. 2020 Dan just shook his head.
“Look, I’m not in the mood for this right now,” 2020 Dan said. “I just wanted to take a nap, not go on a fucking shroom trip. I don’t need to be reminded of the past, thanks. Let me sleep.”
“Okay, so I am dreaming then,” current, normal, 2007 Dan said. “Weird, I don’t even remember falling asleep. Except—no, that’s impossible! How the hell would my subconscious mind know I’d even live until 2020? This has to be a trick of some sort.”
“Why isn’t your hair straightened?” 2015 Dan asked 2020 Dan. 2020 Dan just stared back blankly.
“Hey, guys, this could be a valuable moment to learn things from each other,” 2010 Dan said, the only optimist in the group. “Like, uh, Dan from 2020, how’s YouTube going?”
“YouTube?” 2007 Dan asked, right as 2020 Dan said, “It’s not.”
“What?” 2010 Dan exclaimed. “Why not?”
“I quit,” 2020 Dan continued. “It was good for a while. But eventually it got too hard, having to hide everything from everyone. That’s why I came out. Then I quit.”
“You… came out?” 2015 Dan asked, like it was the greatest feat in the world. 2020 Dan smiled tiredly and nodded.
“Came out as what?” 2007 Dan asked, a mix between sarcastic and panicked. “Like, bisexual or some shit?”
All three of the other Dans turned to stare at him. “…Sure, kid,” 2020 Dan muttered after a moment. “Bisexual. I mean, close enough.”
“Did you come out about Phil too? How did it go?” 2015 Dan asked, and 2007 Dan rolled his eyes because what the hell was anything even about anymore at this point. He did not understand why all his future selves were so obsessed with this “Phil” guy. AmazingPhil. Didn’t seem so amazing to him.
“Not really,” 2020 Dan replied. “But it went… pretty good, I think. Mum and grandma didn’t hate me for it. Mum even took Colin to the Reading pride parade.”
“Oh, that’s… really sweet, actually,” 2015 Dan murmured. He suddenly looked a lot more relaxed than he had previously, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips. “That… makes me feel a lot better about things.”
“I… guess things are fine,” 2020 Dan hummed to himself, as if he was just realising that. “Life isn’t too bad, really—and Phil’s still stuck around, for whatever reason, so at least I’m not going through it alone. Ten years… damn.”
“Ten years,” 2010 and 2015 Dan echoed, sounding both in awe and like they were going to burst into tears. 2007 Dan stayed quiet, unimpressed, not even bothering to voice his confusion at this point. He was convinced that everything that was going on was a fever dream; it was just weird how consistent his subconscious was being about the Phil guy.
“Anyway, uh,” 2007 Dan piped in after a moment, “do you guys think anyone else is coming, or—?”
Just then, right when Dan thought surely things couldn’t get any worse, another guy showed up. The oldest of them all—but also strangely happy? He was relaxed, at least, which was a start contrast to all the Dans before him.
“Oh,” he hummed, “another one of these moments. I thought I got done with this sort of thing in 2021 but here we are I guess. Hi, none of you kill yourselves please.”
“Is… that a common issue with us?” 2010 Dan asked nervously.
“Occasionally,” the new, post-2021 Dan replied, scarily casual about that.
“What year are you from, then?” 2020 Dan asked, sounding perplexed that someone from a later year than him had shown up.
“Early 2024,” the new Dan replied. “Phil’s been talking about going blonde.”
Now that seemed to get everyone’s attention. 2007 Dan was having trouble staying quiet now as everyone around him was asking whether or not this Phil guy looked hot blonde, then insisting that of course he did because he looked hot no matter what. Dan was straight. No man looked hot to him, blonde or not!
“Still together in 2024,” 2015 Dan breathed, sounding amazed. “How is that possible?”
“We’ve had our ups and downs,” 2024 Dan replied, smiling softly. “It’s been getting easier, though. Honestly, after fourteen years being in each other’s lives, it would be harder to live without each other—even if all the pressure from the audience is making it weird.”
“So that’s still going on, is it?” 2020 Dan sighed. 2024 Dan nodded sadly. 2010 Dan looked uncomfortable, but it could not have been any more uncomfortable than what 2007 Dan felt. He didn’t understand. Was the universe playing a joke on him, or something? Why was he trapped in this room with a bunch of versions of himself that thought he was gay—that they were all gay?
“I… I’m sorry,” 2007 Dan said when he couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Can someone please explain to me what exactly is going on here? And I don’t mean why we’re all in this room together, I mean—who’s—?”
“I’ll do it.”
Every previous Dan in the room spun around at the sound of the newest Dan. 2007 Dan knew, instantly, that this was the last Dan that would be showing up. There was no doubt about it.
“What y—?” 2010 Dan began, but the new Dan already had an answer.
“I’m from mid-2026,” he replied. After a moment, he reached out a hand to 2007 Dan, the youngest Dan in the room. “Come here, kid. Let me explain.”
2007 Dan approached 2026 Dan cautiously. He knew it was himself, but it still scared him—yet, there was something different about 2026 Dan. He wasn’t like any of the others, because he seemed genuinely happy. 2007 Dan had thought some of the other Dans were happy, like 2010 and 2024, but he just realised now that he didn’t really know exactly what that looked like until now. Dan from 2026 was happy. He was relaxed, actually smiling even without the Phil guy being mentioned. He looked even younger than 2024 Dan, somehow, and looked a lot fitter as well. This guy clearly had his life more or less together, and that gave 2007 Dan a small boost of confidence.
“You meet someone named Phil in 2009,” 2026 Dan began. He placed a hand on 2007 Dan’s shoulder, then trailed his hand down to where scars were hiding beneath his sleeve, “and things start to get better.”
“Better how?” 2007 Dan asked, his voice even smaller than it was previously.
“Just… easier,” 2026 Dan replied. “More fun. More fulfilling. Don’t get me wrong, it feels so, so hard, but it really does get so much better. Where I am in life right now is exactly where I want to be. Exactly where I’ve always wanted to be. I’ve had to work for it, don’t get me wrong, and sometimes that felt impossible, but I did it eventually. Phil was with me every step of the way, even if I didn’t think I needed him to be. But you know who else was with me?”
“Who?” 2007 Dan asked.
2026 Dan tilted his head to the side, a crooked smile on his face. His eyes looked warm and soft and full of life, unlike most of the other Dans in the room. “You.”
2007 Dan inhaled shakily. He wasn’t sure why, but tears were biting at the corners of his eyes. “Oh.”
“Don’t run from it all,” 2026 Dan said. “When you get the opportunity, reach out and take it. It might feel wrong, it might feel scary, but it’s the right thing to do. Don’t be too anxious, though—even if you do somehow miss the opportunity, another will surely arise. I don’t believe in Phil’s stupid red string theory, but I do know that the universe put us together for a reason, and it wouldn’t stop trying to for anything.”
2007 Dan nodded. “Okay. So, am I, like…?”
2026 Dan smiled. Not entirely in a sympathetic, compassionate way, but partially in a way that suggested he’d thought of this moment happening many times before. “You’re gay. I’ll save you some trouble.”
“And it… works out? Not just with Phil, but like, everything.”
“Better than you could possibly imagine.” 2026 Dan took a deep breath. He was fighting off tears of his own, but they looked like happy tears. Maybe bittersweet. “I wish I could give you more detailed instructions, but I think you’ll know what to do when specific situations come up.”
“Okay,” 2007 Dan whispered. He hesitated momentarily before adding, “Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?” 2026 Dan asked lightly. “I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you.”
-
✧
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When Dan woke up, small and alone, in his bed in 2007, he didn’t remember the exact conversation he’d just had with all of himselves. He did, however, feel strangely happy and relaxed, and had a weirdly big urge to open up YouTube and start watching videos made by AmazingPhil.