Archive of Our Own

The day came to an end, the night had just set in the New Mexican Badlands, painting the desert with darkness and some light from the starry sky above it. A calm and enjoyable landscape compared to the one some minutes ago, where as usual, battles from the strange gravel war being fought over the dry land left a mess of blood and debris on the same locations it would take place. 

Now, the battlefield was silent, both mercenary teams already done with their missions for the day and nowhere to be found; Except for their bases, where they were recovering from the hard day and preparing for the next one, willing to fight again. 

Or maybe, that isn't their main worry right now. 

————

— I swear to God, if that motherfucker asks me again to lend him my camo paint, I'm going to take the very same thing and shove it down his– —

— Wow, hey Ross! C’mon, hold on, it’s not that bad, or at least not to use that language, especially at this hour — Scout interrupted Soldier before he could continue speaking, laughing at his teammate's reaction and getting closer to him. — Leave to me the shoving things down people’s asses, you can be the first one to try it — Greg received a mild punch on his left shoulder, making him chuckle at his own joke and his friend's reaction. 

Both offense mercs were going to the locker rooms, carrying a change of clean clothes each one and already taking off some from them, especially the field jackets of their uniforms that were stained with their own blood, the enemy’s blood and the desert’s dust or destroyed buildings debris. 

Taking a shower after the day was something everyone on the team did, it was an unspoken rule, so it was the one of everyone going on different times to do so. Even if the locker room got enough showers for the whole nine, they chose when or with whom to do so, even with the confidence they already had some of them still chose to go alone in the… private moment it was to wash themselves. 

Soldier and Scout weren’t the exception to it, most of the time they would go together just to talk while showering or sometimes each one would go on their own, either way that night they both went together and were keeping the conversation they started since they got to the base after the final mission. 

— Shut up you idiot, I've three bigger problems to handle right now anyways, the first one being cleaning and the second one being going to bed — Soldier snickered at his own comment, smiling and holding his laugh mildly, waiting exactly for the question from Scout that he knew he would do about that “third problem to handle”. 

— And the third one? — Scout asked with a light smirk, looking entertained at his friend next to him but also with a frown from speculating the possible answer. 

— Taking care of some business — Soldier’s voice tone went lower and trying to be seductive, failing completely on it but throwing the comment and moving his hand in a fist up and down. A thing Scout understood immediately, both of them laughing as they got inside the locker room. 

They placed their clean clothes on their designated lockers, one next to the other. They both started to undress, taking off their uniforms and tossing them inside their dirty clothes, now being left just in their boxers, both took their towels and utensils (just soap) from the locker and walked to the showers. 

Another unspoken rule between them was they always took the shower across from the other’s, and right after being back with back, they started to take off their last piece of cloth on them. 

— Hey Ross, I was thinking about something we could try on missions, to go faster — Scout hung his towel and underwear on a hook in the wall, then adjusted the water until it ran cold. 

— Wait, you were what!? Thinking!? YOU!? Oh Lord have mercy on us — Soldier responded sarcastically, asking as if astonished and making fun of Scout’s words. — Or maybe I should congratulate you! Who knows? — Ross also opened the water tap, waiting for the hot water to come out first and then the cold one, always the same with the heat in the Badlands, not even the water was safe from it. 

— Son of a bitch… — Scout chuckled at Soldier’s mockery, grinning not only at that but also at the cool sensation of the cold water running down his body, finally after another day of killing and being killed several times. — But really, listen to me, just once, this is a good one —

— “This is a good one” and ends up being the worst plan this desert has ever seen and with both of us respawning — Soldier rinsed his head and face, first washing off the camo paint he applied since the morning by rubbing soap all over his face and scrubbing, it always took him forever to wash it off before actually starting with himself. — Go ahead, I’m all ears —

— Y’know what? Fuck you, I’m not telling you anything, maybe Gregor actually appreciates it, you two do exactly the same — Scout looked over his shoulder as he talked and bit back a grin, he turned enough to see Soldier’s back and turned his head again to continue showering while waiting for his teammate response. 

— Yeah yeah whatever… cry with Greg all you want… but don't say I didn't listen to you — Soldier took time to actually finish his sentence, between washing and scrubbing his face again and heard some type of snicker from Scout as he finished. 

After that, everything fell silent in the room again except for the water coming from the showers, none of them said a word which… It was pretty unusual, especially because Greg hated silence. He always said that it made him paranoid of someone being behind him, ready to attack at any moment and having nothing to defend himself with at the same time he was wet and naked weren’t something he was prepared for. 

Ross finally finished washing the facial paint off, but that lack of conversation and the sound of the tap being closed made him wonder if his teammate was still there, he turned back for a moment, careful not to make it look like he was trying to sneak a look at Scout. But was actually surprised by what he found: Greg, looking straight next to the empty space next to him, eyes squinted and still wet, a suspicious look making the scene not only uncomfortable but confusing. 

— Greg? Is something wrong? — Soldier turned completely to look at his teammate, then turned his head to his side where Scout was looking, he heard a shush from him that made him return his attention. Scout moved his hand as telling him to continue with his job and then showing the palm as telling him “wait”. 

Greg slowly moved to the left side of Ross, the place he had been staring at, he went silent and more to the left, standing on his tiptoes and trying to not make too much noise in his footsteps. Ross continued with his shower, starting to get way more uncomfortable than before but also worried about whatever Greg was about to do, it could even be just a bad prank from him and in that case he would absolutely punch him with no hesitation. 

Scout stood next to the place he had been looking at, facing Soldier and squinted his eyes even more, looking the empty space up and down, a look that his teammate noticed, making Soldier even more confused and enough to turn his head at him with a frown. But before Ross could even yell the first insult, Greg raised his fist and punched the air in front of him, but instead of hitting the wall he ended up hitting something, or someone else: Spy. 

The force of the punch that hit Spy was enough to break Spy’s cloak and also hit his head to the wall, falling into the tiled floor of the room and holding his head while rubbing it, muffled groans coming out of his covered mouth. 

— WHAT THE HELL– BUT GREG– HOW- WHAT THE FUCK PETER?! — Soldier retreated as soon as Spy’s head hit the wall, astonished about the sudden reveal of their teammate being there for God knows how long, his chest going up and down quickly and matching his altered breathing from the situation. 

— Oh, look at this, Ross, a FUCKING SNAKE WATCHING US SHOWER — Scout got closer to Spy on the ground, crouching a little and yelling at him, watching Spy’s indignated frown and groans at him. — How long have you been there?! AND WHY?! — Scout continued yelling, he was angrily surprised at the reveal that was laying on the floor and crawling back from him. 

— Shut the fuck up, shut your fucking mouth! There was NO need to hit me like that! — Spy responded in an irritated tone, rubbing his head once again and groaning at the contact. He knew that there was actually a good reason from them to punch him, but he would pretend to be mad for it to cope with the embarrassment of observing them in their current states. 

— Oh you think so? Well, then I can give you a GOOD REASON to beat the shit out of you right now! — Scout got lower and took Spy from his uniform collar, pulling him up to him and raising his fist again next to Spy, as a silent warning of what he was about to do. — Or fucking tell us what were you doing or we’ll smash your head against the wall till your brains come out mushy enough to feed the vultures outside of here — 

Even if Scout was talking about “us” to include Soldier, he wasn't exactly taking too much part in the situation, just looking at Scout holding Spy’s collar and him trying to crawl back from the offense mercenary. Soldier was surprised, confused and creeped out at the fact that Spy supposedly had been there watching them shower and doing it cloaked, who knows for how long and specifically why. 

But, now that he thinks it better, how the hell was Greg capable of seeing Peter cloaked in the first place? He let the thought sink in as he still watched the scene in front of him. 

— Ough, I told you to shut up! I was… gathering information — Spy took a moment to answer, to put a name over what he was doing in there, he would be lying if he said that no guilty feelings hit him doing this spying, but that was his job!. He tried to break free from Scout’s grip at him, holding his wrists and trying to pull them back, but failing at it; who knew Greg could be this strong when being mad. 

—... What the hell would you possibly need information about our naked rears!? — Scout applied more strength into his grip, clenching the fabric of Spy’s uniform and border of his mask, now his anger mixing with confusion as he listened to that weak excuse from the support mercenary under him. — For what exactly would you need to be there!? And for how long!? —

— Hey! It's not for me, it's… I-I was having a conversation with Doc, a-and… I had to, alright? I had doubts left — Spy stuttered as he tried to answer and find the words to explain himself, looking to the side avoiding eye contact with Scout in front of him, returning his gaze to look up and down quickly at Greg in the “I had doubts” part. 

— Whatever it was Peter, or you go out of here or I’m taking down that mask of yours and drowning your fucking existence under this same showerhead — Soldier finally spoke, he continued to wash himself, rubbing soap over his body and throwing the warning at Spy nonchalantly, he knew Scout was already enough of a menace for Spy. — And that’s just the first part —

— I’m going, not like I wanted to do this or something — Spy said looking at Soldier, Scout then set him free from his grapple and Spy stood up slowly, fixing his collar and mask and still rubbing his head at the place he got hit before. — The water must be cold today, I've seen bigger … — was the last Peter said in a whisper loud enough for the other two to hear, just to cloak again and go out of the shower room, leaving both offense mercenaries alone again. 

— This bastard, at least we have one! — Soldier responded before Scout, shaking his head under the water to rinse himself and closed the tap. He took his towel off the hanger and started to dry before adjusting it around his waist, he then looked at Scout who did the same but in a more aggressive way, giving angry looks at the place and way Spy went, and then lowering his gaze again. — Forget it Greg, he won’t do it again… Or is he still here? — Ross lifted an eyebrow as he followed Greg’s gaze, trying to see something or maybe detecting Peter in case he was still there, even if he doubted it judging by the punch Greg gave him, you can never be sure. 

— Nah, he went running as the scaredy bitch he is, he’s already gone — Scout went to the locker room, running down his locker to take his clean clothes and start getting dressed, still acting aggressive on even tossing his dirty underwear on his hamper, but calmed down after doing it and took a seat on the metal bench in front of the lockers. He took a breath, and then snorted before taking his long-sleeved compression shirt and putting it over him, his snort slowly became a snicker as he remembered the recent success actions. — You think he liked what he saw? — 

—... Uh? — Soldier was also already getting dressed, he stopped after pulling up his boxers when he heard Scout speak, turning his head with a slight frown on his gaze. He didn't listen to the question, he actually was focusing on a bigger question regarding his teammate for the last minutes, one that wasn't making too much sense in any way he saw it. — What the fuck did you said? — 

— Heh, I mean, to “gather information” about two dudes in this unpresentable state isn’t the most convincing excuse —

Scout continued with his clothing, now unfolding his pants next to him after putting on his underwear, a small grin on his face as he figured out more about the absurd and weird moment they had with Spy. — Like, if he is into the “biting pillows” business, good for him, but should at least buy me dinner first —

— Oh you’d really love that, don't you? — Soldier teased at what Scout said, chuckling a moment before returning to buckle up his trousers, still thinking of his current doubt about his teammate next to him: how did he know or notice Spy’s presence while he was cloaked?. 

How the hell could Greg see him? The noise of footsteps? Of the cloak? Of Peter himself? Was this just a coincidence? He had never seen doing it before or in battle, neither he knew if he had seen under the cloak, or how he was even capable of disabling this very same ability. 

He turned his head back to Scout, who was buttoning up his trousers and proceeded to tie loosely his boots while whistling a tune, way calmer than before and definitely not as invested in his thoughts as he was. He stared at him for some time, before Greg actually noticed and looked at him confused. 

— Now you want to stare at me? You should’ve told me before getting dressed — Scout tried to tease a moment with Soldier, chuckling at his own joke and looking back at him, but stopped mid laugh noticing Soldier was still staring at him and with that serious look he always carried. — Did I do something wrong? — Greg frowned slightly at his confusion, looking at Ross’ gaze back and wondering the reason behind this sight exchange. 

— How do you do that? —

— Do what? —

— That! —

— What that? —

— That! What you did! —

— What did I do!? —

— That! Seeing Spy! —

—... What’re you talking about? —

Ross stood up quickly and grabbed Greg by his neck, pressing his hands against his throat in an attempt to choke him from sheer anger at him for answering like that. — OR YOU TELL ME OR YOU’RE ALSO GOING TO RESPAWN TONIGHT —

Scout instinctively grabbed Soldier’s wrists, trying to pull his hands away while groaning at the sudden strength on his neck, he tried kicking him or retreating to set free. He couldn't even answer something to Soldier, just cough or groan because his throat was under pressure. He started to feel his neck getting loose and adjusting to the grapple, not as hurting as before, maybe if he relaxed he could actually set free from Soldier… Or, just scare him could also work. 

— Stop it you idiot! Are you going to talk or– — Soldier stopped mid yelling as soon as he heard a different sound from Scout, letting him go and his hands frozen in mid air, shocked and looking at his hands as if he had just committed a crime. — Why the hell did you moan?... —

— Augh, finally! That scared you uh? Asshole — Scout said, coughing as he rubbed his neck and got to breathe again, groaning and sitting properly. — What’s the deal with Spy? Anyone can do it, he is invisible but not completely — He placed a hand on the side of his neck looking up at Ross in front of him, a slight frown of confusion on his face. 

— What? No! I can’t see him cloaked, no one can! What are you talking about!? — Soldier got closer to him, raised his right leg and placed it next to him, covering one of his sides so he didn't move any farther. He looked at him in disbelief, how could he say it as something ordinary when obviously wasn't the case? 

— No? But it’s simple, the cloak is still visible on the sides, like… Distortion! You can see the background but the sides are distorted, the glasses on my visor show it better actually — Scout started to explain, gesturing with his hands and in a calm tone, as if he was telling what was his morning routine or what he had just eaten for dinner. — Also, the sound is like, when you activate a health pack, but kind of broken, you just have to have a good ear for it —

— And what about uncloaking? It only vanishes when Peter does– — 

— Nah, the concussion breaks it, once I threw a grenade and ended up uncloaking Peter, just the right strength and the thing stops working, too little or too much and it gets stuck; Peter can’t undo it unless he respawns — Scout continued his explanation, the gesturing stopped for a moment and he grinned slightly at remembering how he would see Spy trying to kill himself on the missions to get to respawn, right after being stuck with his cloaking device not working. 

— Greg… You’re telling me you can detect Spy perfectly, you can hear him, you know how to uncloak him… And yet you’ve never done it in combat — Soldier stared in disbelief, surprised at the great description his teammate gave him about how to detect one of the team’s biggest threats, and how was something so natural for him to say… And for some reason, no one knew about the spychecker that Greg was. 

Scout blinked once, twice, and then his hands went to his knees as a whispered “fuck” came out of his mouth and raised his eyebrows, the realization hitting him. 

—... Shit, you’re right — Scout said, as he noticed and analyzed what Soldier said: yes, he had seen several times not only Peter but the RED Spy cloaked, or disguised, or infiltrated on their side of the map, it was a common view that his equipment also made it easier… 

Yet he never tried using it before, or at least not for something useful. His hand went to his forehead, and then traced over his hair and to the back of his head, as he stared blankly at Ross in front of him, his eyes wide open in sheer disbelief. 

— Motherfucker, we have the Spy’s personal hell right here and he’s a fucking idiot, you got any idea of how easier could the missions be if you just had done it BEFORE?! — Soldier stepped back from Scout, biting back a grin as he walked around and looked towards the ceiling, then to the lockers and slammed his fist against them as he laughed. — It's so dumb it’s fun, oh God… — 

— For fucks sake, I just had never thought about it! I feel like an idiot — Scout folded in on himself, hiding his face behind his arms before burying both hands in his hair, the realization hit him so hard it almost turned into frustration. He then composed himself again, both hands still on the back of his head, seeing Soldier laugh loudly at him and at the situation made a grin come out of his mouth and some chuckling also… It was fun, yes, but not dumb… It was stupid. 

— ‘Cause you’re one — Soldier said with a smirk and finally finished getting dressed, putting on his undershirt and then proceeded to organize his stuff in his locker, a small smile on his lips as he spoke to his stupid friend next to him and trying to hold back another laugh. 

Soldier leaned against the locker across from Scout, then looked at him still smiling from the recent laugh, Scout looked up at him and they both stared at each other with dumb grins. 

Soldier couldn't hold it more and burst out laughing again as he covered his face, Scout’s surprised and disbelieving expression as he still analyzed the situation was enough to break him and even made tears of joy come out of his eyes. 

Scout also laughed at it, covering his mouth with his hand and supporting his elbow on his knee. The embarrassment wasn't as bad anymore and became pure joy after hearing Soldier's response and laugh. He wasn't lying, in fact he was an idiot, a helpful one but an idiot. 

— You’re not wrong, man I can’t believe it — Scout then stood up, a slight grin of disbelief and embarrassment on his face, he felt as the dumbest man alive for never noticing that he was this helpful, but also as the best one for noticing that he was this helpful. He gathered his things and then closed his locker, he headed to the door, waiting for Ross to catch up, his grin not disappearing as he still reconsidered this great discovery about himself. 

— You better do it from now on, not only to prevent being spied on again, but to help in missions — Soldier went with Scout, put a hand on his shoulder as they walked out from the room, still smirking and snorting at seeing Scout, reminding him of how a simple shower somehow turned into the dumbest and greatest discovery they had ever made. 

— And yeah, Peter definitely liked what he saw — Was the last he said, his hand on Scout’s shoulder went to hit him on his chest, making Scout laugh as they both were now heading to their dorm room, to end the day and maybe tell Pyro about what happened to them and the great discovery they made while showering. 

———

Spy was seated in front of Medic, holding a rag with ice wrapped inside of it and pressing it next to his head, in complete silence and looking at his legs swinging back and forth. Medic was standing up, arms crossed over his chest and staring at Spy in front of him, waiting for an explanation on why he got a bump on his head at this hour… And made him wake up from his sleep. 

Spy then looked up a moment, his gaze crossed with Medic’s eyes and lowered his sight immediately, he knew how creepy Medic could be when mad and the fact his only visible feature were his eyes wasn't helping either, so he preferred not to look at him and hope he won’t make anymore questions and leave this as another late night accident that tended to happen often. 

— I’m supposed to be the silent one — Medic broke the silence, still staring at Spy in front of him who didn't raise his head to look at him, he knew him too well to know that whenever he didn't tell things was when he screwed up, but if it was his fault to get that goose egg at this hour then he actually wanted to know why. 

Spy raised his head but his eyes remained fixed to the side of the exam table where he was seated, still swinging his legs and his right hand clenching on the harness on his thigh, trying to get not only the words to explain but also the courage to do it. Yes, he did something wrong, yes, the reason that bump was on his head was his fault, yes, he would get scolded by Medic… He already knew it, so it was better to explain or otherwise Eadwulf won't let him go. 

— I… Went to finish some of… Err, you remember last night's conversation? — Spy took some time as he tried to relate his thoughts and words to explain this the least weird way, he gave Medic a side eye and saw him tilt his head to the side, confused about the question. — You know Ead, about… the question on… The stupid question I asked — He then saw Medic return to his position, now nodding slowly and with a frown on the visible part of his face. 

— Yes, well… I went to do my own investigation on it… — Spy took a moment to continue, to take his eyes again to the side and ignore the possible look Medic could be giving to him, the embarrassment was starting to crawl on his back as he realized the stupidity he was explaining. — So I went to check the shower room, there was Ross and Greg… I-I was cloaked so I thought they wouldn’t see me… But Greg did, he punched me and I hit my head against the wall… That's it —

Spy then turned his head slightly to Medic’s direction, looking at him pinching the bridge of his nose and his eyes were shut, a minor sigh coming out behind his mask and respirator. Spy looked up at him now that his eyes were shut, just to cross his gaze with him, feeling like a kid just punished by the piercing look that pair of blue eyes were giving him… Hell, if this is what the enemy sees every time they get across with Ead, he was pretty grateful he wasn't one of the REDs. 

— D-don't look at me like that! It was your fault — Spy threw as the first excuse that came to his mind to get out of the judging stare from his teammate, but it was enough to make Medic open wide his eyes and then scowl at him with his arms crossed, angry at the fact he was being used as the weak excuse from Spy and his creep behavior. 

— Yes, yours, if you just had answered my question I wouldn’t be here with fucking ice against my head — Spy pouted while looking at Medic, he would love to be using his mask right now so Eadwulf won't see him doing gestures, to be more difficult for him to read. Medic pointed at Spy and then at him, and swayed his hand in front of him aggressively, making clear that what he answered yesterday should have been enough for him to stay silent about the topic… But still chose to do the worst thing to solve it, like spying their teammates on the shower room. 

— “None of your business” God forbid a man gets bored in his insomnia and makes stupid questions to his doctor friend — Spy was now looking frowned at Medic, throwing some banter and actual things from last night where everything started, Medic gave him the back and the middle finger as he walked far from him and to the cabinets. —... Friend who also couldn't sleep and mysteriously vanished into the bathroom for twenty minutes — Medic stopped his walking for a moment, and looked over his shoulder to look at Spy, slightly confused about his comment. — What? Did you really think I wouldn’t notice that? You aren’t exactly packing anything small down there —

Medic shook his head while listening to Spy, and went to check on one of the medicine cabinets in the room. He took out a jar with anti-inflammatories pills and painkillers, then took a bottle of water from next to his desk. He turned again to Spy, giving him the pills and water so they could end this faster and go to sleep… But now, he was actually the one with some questions, and the least Peter could do to pay his sleep hours was exactly what he didn't do: answer them. 

He gestured at Spy to grab his attention, Spy looked at him and raised his head telling him to go ahead as he took the pills. Medic pointed at him, formed a ring with his thumb and index finger. Then, with the index finger of his other hand, he pushed it through the circle once... twice... and repeated the motion a few more times while staring directly at Spy. Moving it fast and pulling it at the same speed, back and forth.

Spy almost spilled out the water as he saw Medic’s action, he swallowed and looked at him astonished and confused, but also deeply offended at the sudden insinuation about himself, not sure if this was Medic’s genuine question or just banter from him because of the explanation of what he did. But in any of both cases, it was against him, and was enough to make him mad. 

— How rude of you! No! It was just my way to find an answer! You nasty dog, in that case you’re just like me, even worse! you’ve seen all of our dicks before — Spy was now way more offended than before, he even took off the rag for a moment and gestured while pointing at Medic, who was clearly smirking behind his mask upon seeing his friend mad. 

— Fuck you, I’m going, thank you for the treatment, you nurse whore — Medic saw Spy get off the exam table and head out the medbay, he followed right behind him and the closed the room, some chuckles coming from him as he looked at the figure of Peter holding the ice on his head and being mad as hell when some minutes before he had the same behavior as a kid. 

They both went inside their dorm room, the clock already read 11:28 p.m, but even being this late, surprisingly Sniper was awake and waiting for both of them, laying down on Spy’s bed as a way to tease him. 

— There you two are! The doctor and his pillow princess, a little late to be in the infirmary, isn't it? — Sniper smirked as he saw both of his teammates get inside, Spy standing still looking at him, mad and frowned, and Medic taking off his mask and smiling as he heard Sniper. 

Virgil was joking about both being late, but only if he knew how much of a nuke his comment and action of laying on his bed was to Peter’s current humor, he would have prevented the punch to his crotch that made him scream. Falling from the bed and folding on himself as Peter crouched to continue punching him, and Eadwulf couldn't help but laugh at the scene (and noise) they were both doing. 

Everything started with a stupid question, a stupid plan, a stupid discovery and now, a stupid comment.