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Endings and Beginnings
"Pete, so, this is the farm, and, I just want to say... I'm glad you're here," Pepper spoke quietly from the driver's seat of the 4 Runner, Peter sitting in the passenger side, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.
Pepper had insisted that Peter come and stay at their home after the events of the Endgame battle. Peter had asked for a room at the compound after he found out that his Aunt May was gone, but once Pepper found out, she was adamant that he stay "with his family". Peter still wasn't quite sure what to make of that development. Tony was still in the hospital, and had not yet woken up from a medically induced coma. Peter knew Pepper, but only little more than in passing, he had always spent most of his time with Tony, generally in the lab. So it was somewhat awkward for both of them, getting to know one another in such strained circumstances.
As such, Peter knew Pepper slightly, but the little girl, Morgan? She was a complete unknown to the teenager. It still seemed crazy that Tony Stark had a kid, much less had been a retired stay-at-home Dad for the last five years. Peter was concerned that he wouldn't even know the man when he woke up. Add to that the traumatic loss of May during The Blip, and Pete's own trauma concerning watching Tony die...The teenager had a lot of processing to do. So it was with some trepidation that he watched the driveway up to the cabin by the lake as it came into view.
"Uhm, yeah, thanks, Mrs Stark, it's, it looks really nice." Peter answered, his voice soft as he rubbed his palms back and forth against his jeans.
Looking over at him as she parked the car, Pepper smiled softly, her eyes tender with acknowledgement of his discomfort.
Gently placing a hand on his shoulder, Pepper tried to reassure him. "Pete, it's okay, I know this is...a lot. If you'd rather be at the compound, I understand. I'm sorry, I kind of just steamrollered you into staying with us."
Shaking his head, and lifting his eyes to look into hers, Peter tried to smile, but it was shakey at best. "No, no, I'm, I would like to stay with you guys. I'm glad you offered. I'm just grateful to not be in foster care somewhere, to be honest," Peter answered, the anxiety coloring his words.
Nodding, Pepper was internally dismayed to know the boy thought it was a possibility that he might end up in the system. She redoubled her decision that he would realize they were going to be his family, as long as he wanted them. But, there had been a lot of abrupt changes all at once, and she had time to bring him around.
"Pete, we'd never let that happen to you. Not ever." Pepper gave him a long look, hoping to convince him, but seeing the clear doubt telegraphed in his posture. He had suffered too many losses in his short life to feel that any kind of stability could ever be guaranteed for very long.
"Anyway, you're here now, and Morgan and Happy are inside, she'll be happy to meet her Spidey Brother. You don't know how many stories he told her about you. As far as she's concerned, you're her long lost Uncle Peter," Pepper replied as she unfastened her seatbelt and climbed out of the car.
Peter was quick to follow suit, rubbing a nervous hand across the back of his neck. He followed her into the house, hearing as she called out to Happy that they were home.
"Hey Pepper! Hey Kid! Long time no see!" Happy was just as Peter remembered: solid, dependable, but, for once, the other man seemed actually pleased to see him.
Ducking his head nervously, Peter smiled back, comforted that even the recalcitrant Happy was on board with his reappearance in their lives. Maybe he's less grumpy now... Peter thought to himself with a grin.
Before Peter could get any further into the house, he heard the unmistakable cries of a small excited child.
MOMMY! MOMMY MOMMY, come and see what Uncle Happy and I made! I used all the colors to draw Daddy a picture for his room! For when he wakes up, he can know that I missed him!"
Peter peered down the dim hallway, vaguely seeing the shape of a small child with long dark hair. As he watched, she bounced into her mother's legs before grabbing Pepper's hands and pulling her forward.
"Really! I'm sure he'll be thrilled, that was so thoughtful, Morgan! But, I have a surprise too, come on into the kitchen, and I'll show you my surprise," Pepper answered, throwing a quick look back at Peter, clearly indicating that he was to follow them.
Arriving at the kitchen, Peter was pleased to see that the room was very homey and warm, quite in contrast to the rather austere and post-modern decorated quarters he had always previously associated with his mentor. Yet another change that had occurred while Peter was...gone...But a pleasant one. Looking over to the table, Peter had his first glimpse of Morgan Hope Stark.
His first impression was that she was tiny. And she looked exactly like Tony. Peter had never seen any pictures of Tony when he was a boy, but the shape of their faces, the hair color, her smile, it all spoke to who her father was. But, more than anything else, it was her eyes that struck him. Tony had...really expressive eyes, as weird a thought as that was. Tony's eyes were "something else" as his Aunt May had always said. Very large, with thick eyelashes, and dark brown, nearly black irises. But it was more than that, Tony's eyes showed exactly what he was thinking and feeling, even when his bravado and facade screamed something altogether different.
Peter had realized early on that if he really wanted to know the truth behind what Tony said or did, he just needed to look at his face. His eyes were a dead giveaway. Take away the confidence, the brash humor, the sarcasm, all the walls the older man put up to protect the vulnerable person underneath, but it all showed in those large brown eyes. And Morgan's were an exact copy...But staring at him out of a round little face, the depth only just starting as she made her way in the world.
Peter felt an abrupt tightening in his chest, and he almost sobbed at that moment, his breath coming in a hiccup. The pain cutting sharp and deep at the sudden and unexpected reminder of the man he loved like a father. Swallowing hard and blinking a couple of times before he spoke up, Peter did his best to keep his voice even and upbeat. Pepper had turned sharply when she heard the sound, and she had given him a soft, sad smile from across the table.
Gathering himself, Peter made his introductions. "Hello, I understand that you're Miss Morgan? I'm Peter, and I'm so glad to meet you. Your Dad is really important to me. He's helped me out with so much stuff, and I'm really happy to meet you," Peter spoke, shyly extending a hand before he drew it back, suddenly embarassed to be trying to shake hands with such a young child.
Morgan didn't answer him immediately, her head tilted to the right. Instead, she seemed to be studying him, her eyes roving over his appearance. She took in his worn jeans and bright red hooded sweatshirt, the unruly burnette curls, the worn sneakers, all before her gaze coming once again to rest on his face.
Morgan sunk down in her chair just a little in that shyly playful way that children do, but she had a small smile starting, even as she seemed to shrink away from him.
Pepper put an encouraging hand on Morgan's back, gently prodding, knowing that her daughter's circle of family and friends had been, until that point, very small.
"Morgan, it's okay, this is Peter, who is Spiderman. You know all about Peter, Daddy has told you lots and lots of stories. And you know how he looks, too, because we have pictures," Pepper encouraged the little girl, smiling at Peter as she did so. It seemed that both of her children needed the encouragement at the moment.
"Hi, Spiderman. (For a just a second, Peter could HEAR Tony's voice saying the same thing on a long-ago ill-fated ferry in New York. Though Morgan's tone was sweet versus Tony's snark.) Do you like coloring?" Morgan asked as she slipped off her chair and came over to the teenager.
Looking down at her, and then feeling self-concious about the height difference, Peter crouched down to her level, now able to make eye contact.
"I do like to color. Would you like to draw a picture with me? I'd bet that you could give me all the best tips," Peter answered, slowly becoming more comfortable with the little girl in front of him.
Morgan gave him a brighter smile, but shook her head in the negative at his suggestion. "Nope! I already colored, and I think we should do something else. I was just asking for in-for-ma-tion-al purposes," Morgan said, hands clasped in front of her as she swayed slightly back and forth in front of him.
Peter, clearly out of his element after his lone suggestion, "oh, okay then. Any other information you need for informational purposes?" He grinned back at her.
Morgan just continued to stare at him for several seconds, head tilted before she firmly replied, "no."
Pepper knew how this conversation was going to go, at least one side of it, and she stepped in to help Peter, before he got caught in a Morgan Loop. "Morgan, how about you take Peter for a tour of the farm. You can show him all the animals, and the workshop, and as long as you keep hold of his hand, you guys can go down to the dock, too."
This was clearly a treat for Morgan, as she was only ever allowed near the water with an adult present. She eagerly agreed, nodding her head and gently slipping her hand into Peter's as she pulled him along towards the front door. With a quick half-pleading look back at Pepper, Peter was pulled along before she could do more than give him a smile and a small wave. Moments later, Peter found himself back out in the yard, and being pulled with surprising strength towards a large barn near the back of the property.
"Come on, Petey, you need to meet the 'Pacas! Daddy rescued them, and the oreo cows! Dandy is the nicest, he lets me take him for walks sometimes. But Gerald is the smartest, he's the boss of all of them. He gets out sometimes and eats Mommy's goji berries from the bushes. Daddy says he is a very naughty 'paca!" Morgan's trilling little voice kept up a running commentary as she towed him along behind her, rather like a reverse tug boat with a freighter.
*This is...surreal...* Peter thought to himself, even as he stumbled along behind her. What followed was a complete animal tour, including the oreo cows, the alpacas, many chickens, two goats, and meeting the family cats, Dilly and Phil.
-oOo-
Morgan had a large orange tabby in her arms, but he was so big and so heavy, that he had slumped through her embrace, leaving his arms and head in her grasp, but his body and hind legs dragging along the ground as Morgan scissor walked around him. "And this is Phil! Phil is the biggest boy! He's an old man now. Daddy calls him Agent, but I don't know why. I asked Daddy, but he said it was a joke, and then he 'changes the subject' is what Mommy says." Peter couldn't help a small smile at the Agent Phil cat, even as he marveled at the incredible level of tolerance the feline had for his child captor.
"Morg, uhm, I bet that kind of hurts Phil's, uhm, arms, maybe you should put him down? You said there was another cat, Dilly, who's smaller?" Peter felt for the orange cat, and he could almost swear there was gratitude in his golden eyes as he carefully trotted away upon his release.
Grabbing Peter's hand again, Morgan was already halfway skipping as she pulled him, all the while saying, "nope, Dilly is a House Only Cat, because she's so very small. But we can meet her later! She is very sad because Daddy is gone. I said that we should take her to the 'ospital to see Daddy, but Mommy says that it's not a place for kitties to go. It's not a place for little girls to go, either. I keep asking, but Mommy always tells me 'not yet'. I miss Daddy..." Morgan trailed off, the fear and stress in her voice clear as a bell, and she stopped tugging on Peter's arm, having slowed down to a flat, dejected walk.
Immediately feeling sorry for the little girl, Peter caught up to her in a stride, and quickly took her hand again from where she'd let go. Looking up at him as she felt his large hand wrap around her small one, Morgan gave him a sad smile, maintaining eye contact for several long seconds.
"Your hands are big, like Daddy's," was all she said before she looked down at her shoes as she scuffed them in the grass.
Peter opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get the chance, Morgan seemed to suddenly shift her mood three-hundred-and-sixty degrees, and she was once again pulling him, this time in the direction of the lake.
"Come on, Petey, we can throw-skip with the little rocks!" Morgan called out as she pulled Peter once more around the property.
Grinning in return, Peter wondered if she knew about the wishes. Several minutes later, and Peter had realized that super strength was not an asset when skipping rocks. He kept having to readjust the force of his skips, as his stones kept ending up on the other side of the lake. Morgan had laughed at his inability to even hit the water, and had decided that he needed to be schooled.
"Here, Petey, this is how you do it, Daddy taught me!" And Morgan executed yet another perfect toss, managing five skips before the small, flat stone sunk into the calm surface of the lake.
Grinning as he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck in embarassement, Peter tried again. He actually managed to hit the water that time, but the stone almost instantly sank, managing barely more than one skip.
Coming over and taking his hand in hers again, Morgan tried to console him. "It's okay, Petey, not everybody is good at everything. Mommy told me that when I was having trouble catching the fireflies last summer. But you'll get better at it, we can practice. You're going to live here now, right? Daddy missed you, and when he gets home, he'll be so glad that you're here!" Morgan continued on, blissfully unaware of what had happened to her father.
Peter had to bite back a hitched breath when he looked down at her bright and happy little face, her dark hair blowing behind her in the breeze off the lake. Taking a deep breath, he decided to follow Tony's lead and change the subject.
"Heh, yeah, uhm, hey, do you know about how to wish on the rocks when you skip them? That's what my Uncle Ben always told me when I was little and he would help me. However many skips your rock makes, that's how many wishes you get. Come on, I bet you can get a ton of wishes, because you are really good at this!"
Morgan's eyes went wide, and she stopped still, her big eyes looking up at Peter enthralled. "Does that mean that I can wish for Daddy to come home? And that I can have a puppy? Oooh, and for YOU to live here with us for always? I like that one, and the one about Daddy, the mostest! I have Dilly and Phil, so I don't really need a puppy, but I would really like it if you would live here with us, you, and Mommy, and Daddy, and me!"
Peter smiled, the sadness still in his eyes, but he nodded and helped Morgan to find another flat skipping stone along the water's edge.
"I think that would be a perfect wish, Morgan."
-oOo-
"Petey, can you pass me the potatoes, pleeeeaseee?" Morgan asked, small hands outstretched and ready to take the very large bowl she fully expected to be handed.
Laughing, Pepper quickly intervened. "No, no, Morgan, that bowl is too big for you, but Peter can help you put some more on your plate. Don't give her too much, Pete, she thinks she can eat more than she actually can. Just a spoonful is good," Pepper said, looking at Peter as she did so with another soft smile.
Peter nodded, carefully spooning out a dollop of mashed potatoes for the little girl seated to his right.
"Thank you Peter, we're so glad you're here," Pepper said to him once he was done, Morgan nodding enthusiastically in response, her mouth too full of potato to say anything.
Peter smiled at her before looking back down at his plate, he was unused to so much praise coming his way from anyone other than May. "No, I should be thanking you, Mrs. Stark, for taking me in. I was kind of worried about having a foster family with being enhanced and all."
Pepper just shook her head, swallowing her own bite of food. "No, there was no way we were going to have you going anywhere else. Tony would have a fit if he thought I'd let you escape from us. And, no more Mrs Stark, I'm Pepper, or if you want to make Tony absolutely insane, Ginny." The look on Pepper's face was pure Criminal Mastermind. Peter couldn't help but grin back as he nodded.
"I'll keep that in mind, Mrs-err...Pepper."
Then it was quiet for a long moment at the mention of the very felt absence at the table.
Morgan was not one to let conversation slide, and quickly filled in the silence with a request for dessert.
"Okay, Mommy, all done! I cleaned up, so now can I have a juice pop? Can Petey have one too? Petey, have you ever had a juice pop before?" Morgan slid her plate back a few inches on the table towards Pepper, as if to prove, up close, that she had, indeed, finished all of her teriyaki chicken stir fry and the small ramekin of fruit Pepper had included for her.
Looking on in approval, Pepper smiled and got up to get the popsicles from the freezer behind them. "What flavor do you like, Peter? We've got blueberry and goji, strawberry and kiwi, and something...orange..that I think she made with Tony before he left. It's probably...citrus...They experiment sometimes, you might not want to risk it," Pepper's voice echoed from inside the freezer.
Peter giggled, and happily voted for a blueberry treat.
Pepper set them both up with a juice pop each, and a large quantity of napkins, insisting that Morgan eat OVER her plate, lest she drip stickiness all over the rest of the house.
"But, Mommy, Daddy let's me eat them while we go upstairs, what does Petey think, Petey, should I be allowed to go upstairs with my popsicle?" Morgan turned to him, brown eyes very wide, and very innocent, and with a painfully familiar quirk to her mouth.
Peter's own eyes went wide, and he quickly shot a pleading look at Pepper while shaking his head. He did not want to be a part of that scheme.
Pepper, much more familiar with her daughter's tendency to try and wiggle around rules of all types, was quick to nip that line of thinking. "Uh uh, not a bit Missy, we are not going to drag Peter into your clutches. Peter is not a grown up, Daddy and I are in charge of both of you, and we make the rules, okay? Peter is almost grown, but he still listens to what we say, you got it?" Pepper shot a quick apologizing look at Peter even as she gave Morgan a stern once over.
Sighing, Morgan nodded her head and continued to eat her dessert. It was quiet for a few minutes, but eventually she spoke up again. "So Petey isn't grown up, like you and Daddy and Uncle Doctor Bruce and Uncle Jarvis and Uncle Happy? He looks all mostly grown up...kind of short, though..." Morgan eyed him carefully.
Peter smiled at her while Pepper laughed, and Peter explained. "Nope, I'm not a grown up yet. I'm close to being a grown up, but I'm not quite there yet. I've got a few more years to go. I go to school still and everything."
At that statement, Morgan's eyes grew even bigger, and she blinked hard several times. "Ooooh...so...how long do I have to go to school for...?"
Peter felt bad for it, but he started laughing, and Pepper joined him, even Morgan was laughing by the end of it, though she wasn't totally sure what was funny.
Later that evening, Morgan had been tucked in for the night, and Peter and Pepper were in the living room of the house together, alone for the first time since the car ride from the city. Pepper looked over at the teenager curled up into himself in the corner of the couch. He was holding the new phone they had given him, and there was a tinny sort of video playing from it, but he was clearly not paying any attention.
Pepper understood. This was a lot to take in, and very, very suddenly. Peter was going to need time to process everything. Fortunately, they had plenty of that. Now.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Pepper softly queried, her voice low and her tone very gentle.
Peter looked up as if startled, clearly pulled out of deep thought. He shook his head for a moment, then smiled at her, ducking his head slightly. "Oh, uh, yeah, not a whole lot, I don't guess...I was, just, kind of thinking about how it's kind of crazy that we were all gone for a full five years."
Pepper gave him a silent nod, but her smile remained as she responded, "yeah, it was a long time for all of us. Do you...do you remember any of it? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Peter wasn't sure what to say to that. Did he remember any of it? There were bits and pieces...
"Um, I remember little parts of it? There was a place, it was all kind of a purple-red color, and there was water, and a kind of misty horizon. Dr. Strange was there, with me, and I remember that sometimes we would talk. But mostly it just felt like we were just kind of...existing. I don't remember much about the Dusting. I remembered feeling...weird?...And turning to Mr. Stark, and then...I was in the purple-place. It felt like we had only been there a few hours, an afternoon, maybe? It definitely didn't feel like five years. And then, poof, we were back on Titan, but this time there was no-one else there, just a ruined planet full of nothingness. And then Dr. Strange grabbed my hand and said, "Come on Kid, we've got to go!", and he did his swirly-fire-magic hands, and then we were on the grounds of the Avenger's Compound, in the middle of a battle. And there was Tony. I asked him what was in his hair...He kind of laughed, and said that it was gray, and I told him that he was old..." Peter trailed off, the memory suddenly becoming too painful to continue. He didn't want to ever think again about what happened next.
Pepper got up from her own chair, crossing the room to sit down next to him, pulling him into a hug against her. Peter was nearly crying, but he tried to steady his breathing, he was too old to cry like a little kid. Especially to Mrs. Stark.
Pepper rocked him softly against her, rubbing soothing circles on his back and making shushing sounds. Peter, once he had his breathing back under control, pulled away from her slightly, rubbing a quick hand over his eyes as he did.
"It's okay, Mrs. Stark, I'm okay. Could, could I maybe go to bed though, I'm really tired? If you can just give me a blanket, I'm totally good to sleep here on the couch. You guys don't need to go to trouble for me," Peter asked, doing his best to be as little nuisance as possible. He still felt sure that at some point, the Starks were going to decide they didn't really want him after all, and he'd be living somewhere else.
Smoothing back his hair with one hand, Pepper agreed, but not to the couch. "Oh, no no, Peter, you've got a bedroom, it's all ready for you! Tony set it up years ago, when we were setting up the nursery for Morgan. He brought all of your stuff from home, when we realized, May--Oh, God, Peter, I'm so sorry" Pepper stopped herself, suddenly looking stricken at her blunder into what she was sure what a painful topic.
Peter sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, but quickly answered, "it's okay, Mrs. Stark, I-I know what happened, and I'm sure that everybody did their best. Sometimes, stuff just...happens. The Parker Luck holds true, I guess."
Pepper took his hand in hers, and pulled him up out of the couch without saying anything else. What more was there to say, really?
They climbed the stairs, and after very quietly walking past Morgan's partially opened door, Pepper led him down the hallway to the next doorway, and he was shocked to find...his bedroom. As in, all of his bedroom. Peter looked around, noting his bedding, the familiar quilt his grandmother had sewn for him when he was a baby. The Star Wars posters, even the Iron Man poster Ben had bought for him when they went to the Stark Expo back in 2010. There were legos on his desk, and his books were in shelves along one wall. Even, to his dawning horror, his...plush otter that had been his last Christmas present from his parents, the one he had slept with religiously until he was nearly thirteen. It was on the middle of his bed, ratty and with half the stuffing loved out of it, but propped up against the pillows with honor.
Peter walked further into the room, walking slowly in a circle, unsure if what he was seeing was real or just a terribly vivid dream.
Pepper remained in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, tears pooling in her blue eyes.
"It's, it's just like at home...h-how, WHY?" Peter stammered, looking back at Pepper.
Pushing away from the door, Pepper walked into the room to stand next to him, putting a hand on his back as she did so. "It was Tony. He never stopped believing he could find a way to bring you back. All of you. The Barton kids all got Blipped too. And, it, it...nearly killed Clint. He was AWOL for a while. After Morgan was born, especially, Tony wanted to help him. He understood more than anyone else, except maybe Nat, about how Clint felt. He never stopped trying. And he wanted you to be able to come home and immediately pick up your life where you left off."
Peter turned then and clung onto Pepper, the tears finally flowing freely. They stayed like that for quite some time, and if Peter thought he felt some tears fall into his hair, he never mentioned it.