Chapter Text
As if it was not bad enough to be starting from anything other than pole, Kimi's necklace tightened suddenly around his neck as he finished his warm-up, the silver whale tail charm digging into his jugular, tingling cold and burning in time with his pulse. He coughed at the shock, fumbling at the charm and tugging at the cord until it relaxed, sitting looser on his neck. The necklace had been a gift from his nonna, a plain black protection cord she had woven herself; the charm had been from his mother, who had found it on holiday. His nonna had tutted approvingly at the choice, stringing it up on the cord, and Kimi had barely taken it off since.
He touched it now, feeling the metal tingle and warm at his touch. His nonna had taken it somewhere, had something done to it, and now it sat high on his neck, protecting him from stray curses and spells, warning him about coming danger. It had glowed, warm and bright, before Kimi signed with Mercedes; it had gone freezing cold before he crashed out of his first testing. It hadn't done anything at all, the treacherous thing, when Ollie broke up with him.
"What do you want," he whispered hoarsely, fiddling it between his fingers. "What's going on?"
The necklace stayed silent. Kimi sighed. Unsteadily, he climbed to his feet. There was still a bit of time until the pre-race briefing, and he was not looking forward to it, sitting through the engineers discussing tyre strategy when he had qualified so poorly—it would be a race to salvage, not to win. His phone wouldn't stop buzzing. He rolled his eyes, switching it to silent mode and pulling up TikTok. He simply wanted to not think for a while.
There was a knock.
Kimi yelped and fell off the sofa, landing on the floor in a tangle of limbs, his phone flying out of his hands. "Who is it?" he called, brushing himself off and standing. He yanked the door to his driver's room open, and paused. There was no one standing in the corridor.
He hesitated.
Kimi's driver room here had a secret door of sorts—a side panel that opened out to the back alley between the hospitalities. Obviously, Kimi had used it a handful of times, sneaking in and out of it between briefings, sneaking his sister in to show her around, sneaking Ollie in back before— but that was before. Now, Kimi used it when he wanted a bit of fresh air, or when he wanted to leave after a bad race without seeing anyone else.
Very few people knew about it—by very few, he meant himself, Ollie, his trainer, Bono, and his family. Hardly anyone, really. He was fairly sure Lewis knew about it, but he hadn't mentioned it yet, and there were some things Toto didn't need to know. And it was barely visible from the outside, the handle concealed by the mess of scaffolding and bolts in the back. So for one of them to be knocking the 'secret' way, it had to be someone important, with something important and very secret. He took a deep breath, steeling himself.
When he opened the door, there was a deer standing there. Kimi stared, baffled.
The deer stared back.
There it stood, with its big, glossy eyes and wet, shiny nose, its pelt tawny and smooth. It had a lovely rack of horns growing out of its head, not so large as to be unwieldy, but grown enough to be elegant rather than stubbly. It was a very handsome buck, all things considered, except they were in the middle of the paddock. Deer did not usually show up in the middle of a Formula One race track, and certainly not at the back alley of the Mercedes hospitality, and they certainly did not know how to knock on Kimi's secret door specifically.
The deer honked.
"What the fuck," Kimi whispered to himself. "What the hell?"
He staggered backwards, and the deer followed him, stepping towards him, only it wobbled precariously, its legs tangling, and caught itself by the horns on the side of the door. There was something familiar about the lanky motions, about the warm brown eyes—
A wave of dread and realisation crashed over him. He swallowed thickly. "Ah. Ollie?"
The deer honked again, brighter.
Kimi buried his face into his hands. "For fuck's sake."
𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴
"We don't have time for this, Kimi," George said impatiently as he nudged the door open, still tapping out a message on his phone. "We have the briefing soon, and—"
Kimi coughed. George looked up and froze. "Blimey."
Kimi had, with great difficulty, managed to fit Ollie and his magnificent horns through the tiny backdoor, and fit the entirety of him, hooves and all, in his driver's room. What he had not considered, however, was that deer were quite large in real life, and his driver's room quite small when it wasn't just him. And so, when George opened the door, he saw first an eyeful of antlers, and then a lot of deer.
The door barely missed clipping Ollie as George slammed it shut behind him, his nostrils flaring. Kimi waved awkwardly from where he was crouched on his table, out of the way. "Hi, George. We have, ah, a bit of a problem, I think."
"You don't say," he said faintly.
"Ollie has turned into a deer," Kimi said helpfully, patting the tip of his horns lightly. The deer honked. "I thought you might know what to do…?"
His voice trailed off at the exasperated half-glare George was shooting his way. "Was it not enough that I had to deal with this when— Don't move!" he yelped. Kimi had ducked his head, chastised at the tone, and Ollie had followed suit, swinging his antlers directly at George, who had to twist sharply to dodge. "Jesus, Oliver, there's a massive set of antlers on your head, if you haven't noticed, so don't go swinging them around willy-nilly."
Deer-Ollie's head twitched. Kimi bit back a grin, knowing that Ollie had just stamped down the reflex to duck his head at the admonishment. George ran a hand through his hair. "How did he even get in here?"
Kimi shrugged. "He just, ah, turned up?"
"He just turned up," George said deadpan. "Really. He appeared in the middle of your driver's room."
"…Yes," Kimi said, frantically crossing his fingers tight behind his back. "He just, he magically appeared."
George eyed him warily. A year ago, Kimi would have folded to the Look. Now, he just stared back, fixing his eyes at the curl of George's fringe instead of meeting his sharp blue gaze.
George sighed. "Well. Nonetheless. Why did you call me?"
"Well, you know, you had that whole… erm, the cat incident," Kimi coughed. "I, er, don't really know who in the team has experience with the magic in the paddock?"
George stared at him. "Kimi. You know that I didn't solve it on my own, right? I had to ask- well. Putting aside the fact that we're in Mercedes, and Bono lived through the whole… whatever happened last decade, why didn't you just call Toto?"
He abruptly felt very stupid. "I didn't want to bother them! But also, I forgot. Please, George, I trust you, and Ollie and I are depending on you now."
"Depending on-" George sighed and pulled out his phone. "I'm calling Esteban. I'm not suffering through all of this on my own."
"Thank you," Kimi said fervently, and tried not to think about how Ollie's haunches twitched at his tone.
𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴
"Alright, there we go," George grunted, as the last bit of Ollie's antlers popped free from the doorframe, sending them both stumbling out into the corridor. He dusted his hands off on his jacket. "Let's go. Be quiet, yeah?"
Ollie followed him down the corridor, Kimi bringing up the rear, chewing nervously on his lip. George had somehow sorted a private meeting room for them, tucked halfway away from the sprawl of the hospitality and the buzz of race week.
Halfway down the corridor, a door opened, spitting Bono out, hands damp, between George and Ollie. George stumbled. Ollie froze, and Kimi ran straight into the back of him with a soft grunt. Bono just looked at them, steady and curious. "George, Kimi, why do you have a stag in hospitality?" He tensed. "Is this some new prank, or- please tell me you didn't steal a deer from the woods nearby, Kimi, bloody hell."
Kimi shook his head frantically. He laid his hand on Ollie's back quickly before he could do the same and carve up the walls of the corridor, and tried not to think about how soft Ollie was. "No, Bono, this is Ollie, he somehow got into my driver's room, he's… well, you see, no?"
"He seems to be a stag," Bono said dryly. Kimi nodded. Ollie made to nod, and George's arms snapped out with the speed of an F1 driver's reflexes — one flung straight across Bono, shoving him backwards; one cupping Ollie's chin, holding his head in place. Bono's eyes darted between them, frozen in their tableau, and made a face. "Right. George, shall I get Toto and have him get in touch with Ayao?"
"Cheers, Bono, that'll be grand," George said tiredly. "I've already texted him, but he's in some meeting or other, so he probably hasn't seen it yet. If you could send someone to Haas, that would be great. I've asked Esteban to come over, if that's alright?"
Bono looked at him slowly. "George, this is not the time for a rende-"
"Not like that," George yelped. His cheeks were dusted a light pink. "Esteban is, you know. Helpful with these things. He helped me with-" He swallowed hard, his face going redder. "-the Incident."
Bono's face cleared. "Ah. The Incident. Of course."
"Er, he is also Ollie's teammate?" Kimi interjected, looking between the two.
Both Brits turned to look at him slowly. Bono coughed dryly. "Well. Yes. That too. I'll send him down, then, if we see him."
"Thank you," George said fervently. Ollie's tail flicked happily, and he pressed himself against one wall the best he could, trying to give Bono space to edge past. Bono ran a hand down his soft side. Ollie made a noise like a laugh as his eyebrows flew up and he began petting Ollie in earnest.
"My goodness, Oliver, you're soft," Bono said. "I've always wanted to pet a deer, but I did not expect it to feel like that. Or, well, be like this." He pursed his lips. "You're much cuter when you can't speak. And when you don't have opposable thumbs."
Ollie honked in protest.
"We're going to go now, Bono," Kimi said loudly. "Thank you for the help!"
Bono gave him a knowing look. "Anytime, kid. I'll tell the engineers you'll be late, and get some notes for you, yeah?" His eyes were soft. As he passed Kimi, a hand drifted reassuringly over his shoulders. "Talk if you need to."
Kimi flushed. He did not really want to talk to Bono about it. What he needed was for this to go away, and then he could go back to driving faster than he could imagine, with Bono talking to him down the radio, driving and winning and doing what he did best. What he needed was to not be dealing with Ollie, or thinking about Ollie, or being stupid about himself.
George made a clicking noise, and Ollie trotted after him obligingly. Kimi started, and followed, waving to Bono as he went.
"I've heard the rumours, George!" Bono called down after them. "So they're all true, then?"
"You can think whatever you like, Bono!" George called back. Kimi blinked. The back of his neck and his ears were flushed a deep pink. Ollie turned to look at Kimi, his antlers leaving a light mark in the wall, and snorted loudly. Kimi's lips quirked, involuntarily. Then, the rest of his heart caught up, and he hurriedly looked back away.
"George," Kimi prodded slyly, "there are rumours? What rumours?"
"Not now, Kimi," he said, and hurriedly opened the door to one of the private briefing rooms. "Here we are! In you go."
Ollie shot him a look, and started slowly angling himself through the door. With a low groan, he popped through the door and trotted awkwardly to the middle of the room, staring at George and Kimi still standing outside.
The two Mercedes drivers exchanged a look. Kimi took a deep breath, and followed George into the room, taking up a position on the edge of a desk.
"Doing okay?" George murmured softly as Kimi passed him. The younger driver stiffened.
"Fine," he said, his voice tight. George nodded slowly. He didn't push further.
Hurried footsteps sounded outside the room. Esteban Ocon burst into the room, his hair ruffled, and immediately zeroed on Ollie, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Esteban," George said, and his face softened, his whole body uncoiling. "Took you long enough."
"Ah, Oliver," Esteban cooed, completely ignoring George, "how have you gotten yourself into this situation, hmm?"
Ollie honked at him, almost petulantly. Esteban ignored his look and started scratching lightly under his chin, and Ollie's eyes closed in bliss. "The doe eyes will not work on me, Oliver, I am too old for that," he said. He laughed and ruffled at the fur on his forehead, running a hand down the soft pelt. "You are so cute, mon chou."
"Esteban," George said warily, "be careful-"
Esteban tapped at the dark velvet of his nose, and Ollie twitched, and sneezed. The effect was astounding. Ollie, when he was a human, sneezed with his whole body, his shoulders sending a wave of convulsion across himself. As a deer, that translated into his whole body jerking, his hind leg shuddering out and his head ducking low. George's hands were already around Esteban's arms, yanking him backwards before the Frenchman had time to do anything more than yelp.
"For fucks sake," George groaned. Ollie imitated him, a low groan hitting the same notes as the words. He looked up with wet eyes, honking sadly. Kimi could almost hear him — shit, I didn't mean- Esteban, sorry, are you okay? Kimi felt like he was kind of going mad, which was probably excusable, all things considered. He was making up dialogue for Ollie, who was now a deer. His ex- ex-something was now a deer. Did he even still know Ollie well enough to predict what he would say? He might. He might be going mad.
Esteban wriggled out of George's grip and crouched back down. "Hey, no, Oliver, it is okay." Clearly, Esteban had also understood what Ollie was trying to say. He stroked the long bridge of his nose slowly. "It is fine, yes? A little accident. Just be careful next time, ah? I do not think Ayao would be happy if you somehow stabbed me."
Kimi shifted nervously. He did not think Ollie's antlers were that sharp, but they were quite large, and heavy, and perhaps they would hurt someone, from sheer force alone.
"George," Esteban asked, "does your hospitality still serve hot chocolate?"
"I hardly think that's relevant right now," George said impatiently, "what with a full grown deer in here right now, who is also your teammate, by the way, but yes. Yes we do."
"And Mercedes is rich, yes?" He grinned. "You lot spring for the full sized marshmallows?"
George paused. "Esteban," he said flatly, "you cannot be thinking what I think you're thinking right now."
The grin widened. Besides him, Ollie perked up, swivelling slow and careful to face George.
George sighed. "I'll beg a pack off of someone. Can you two please behave while I'm gone?"
His blue eyes were fixed on the two drivers. Ollie nodded, and Esteban made a shooing motion. Kimi suddenly felt very small, as if he was somehow the one who had wandered into a team he did not belong to. He supposed it was true, wasn't it, that he was no longer part of trouble, now that he and Ollie were barely speaking properly. It still hurt, to watch Esteban be horribly fond of his younger teammate, cossetting the deer-form in a way Kimi no longer could.
The door opened, startling Kimi out of his reverie. George tossed a bag of marshmallows at Esteban. "Get to work."
"Yes, sir," he saluted, ripping the bag open and nibbling at a marshmallow. "Mm. Very nice, Ollie, do you want some?"
The deer looked at him with wide, wet eyes. Kimi watched as Esteban let Ollie gently take it from his fingers, laughing as Ollie licked at the remnants of sugar on his palm. Esteban took another marshmallow from the bag, and Kimi watched as he pushed it onto the tips of Ollie's antlers. Kimi had never seen Ollie stand so still, barely breathing, as Esteban carefully topped off each sharp point with a soft, sugary pillow.
It was not fair, he thought with a sudden burning fury, that he should feel like an outsider in his own team building, when it was Ollie who had decided to turn up after all this time, and bring this problem into Kimi's life. It was not fair that Ollie had decided to leave, and had come crawling back, and that Kimi had never been able to turn him down. It was not fair, that Esteban got to have him and love him and touch him, even as teammates, and all Kimi could do was watch.
"This should sort you out, Oliver," Esteban said, patting Ollie on the haunch. "You are not spikey anymore, but you must remember, the horns are still very heavy and you should not be swinging them around."
"I don't really think antlers are that sharp in the first place," George said faintly. The two Haas drivers ignored him. Esteban was still talking softly to Ollie, murmuring in French as Ollie nosed at his shoulder. George's gaze darted over to Kimi. Kimi scowled. Itching waves of heat were cascading down his back. It was not fair, he thought to himself angrily. None of this was fair.
George's eyes softened. "Alright," he said loudly, "Toto said he's heading over, but he can't get the team to look at it until after the race, they're doing the pre-race checks on our cars. You can start taking a look if you like, obviously we're not letting the Haas witches in here, so you're the closest thing they can get to a team examination until we can get Ollie back somehow."
Esteban looked up from where he was crouching on the ground, lightly scratching Ollie under his chin. "Ah? Yes, if that is what Toto is comfortable with, it is his garage and your team." He pulled away and stood up. Ollie chirped sadly, pausing before shoving his nose into Esteban's hip. Kimi stifled a laugh—there it was, the seam between Ollie the deer and Ollie the human remembering the deer horns on his head. Esteban patted him lightly on the head. "Come on, Bearman, the faster we figure this out, the faster we can get back to the racing, yes?"
The deer honked loudly, and backed away. Esteban rolled up his sleeves. It was only then Kimi realised that he was wearing thick bracelets, woven rings of black cord and metal discs wrapping high up both arms. When he took them off, there were two pale, pinkish blisters in the shape of the charms, centred over the blue veins of his wrists.
A lot of things slid into place all of a sudden.
"You're a witch," Kimi blurted out.
"I am," Esteban said, something shifting tight in his face. "Do you have a problem with that?"
Kimi had heard rumours, of course, about Esteban being a witch, but he had chalked it up to stories, or stereotypes from how he had grown up and gone racing, running across Europe in a secondhand caravan. He had not known it was true, that Esteban really did have the gift, and managed to make it to Formula One anyway. Magic and mechanics famously did not mix. Most witches barely even drove, unless they or the car were charmed specifically for it to be possible. Besides, being a witch took a toll on your body, even without the exposure to cold iron that Esteban certainly had, with the suppressor bracelets and all the parts of the car. No wonder he struggled to keep his weight up, no wonder his crashes looked so bad.
Toto had only had a sensitivity to it, but he had crashed so badly that he had lost his sense of taste and quit the sport—of course, he had not really had much of the gift itself, so it had not given any protection to himself. Esteban would have had it better, his gift protecting him from the worst of the impacts, even as it had to wrench past the blockers. It made sense now—how Esteban was too tall and too skinny, how he fought with Pierre and Alpine, how they had treated him and thrown him aside and left him out to the wolves; the French did not have a high view of magic. Why George had ended up going to him, if George had known, when the Incident happened.
Kimi was Italian. He had been raised with a healthy respect for the craft. You did not disrespect those who knew better, had more gifts. But still—a witch! a witch that wasn't Toto or Anca or Mathilde, in the middle of Mercedes! It was almost unthinkable. Ollie tensed next to him, his legs going stiff, but Kimi couldn't spare any attention to him. Mercedes had had its fair share of cursework and sabotage. Inviting a witch in was like bringing a loaded gun into a munitions factory; it was dangerous for him, for the team, for Esteban, if the news got out, if something went wrong. No one would fault him, not really, if he called someone and declared it, and ended up with Esteban in cuffs and with a race ban.
But this was Esteban, who had always been friends with George, and kind to him, kind to Ollie. Esteban, who wore traditional suppressors on top of the preventative medication all drivers had to take before getting into the car, just in case something happened, or something unexpected presented itself. Esteban, who knew the risks, knew the jeopardy he was putting himself in, all because George had called and asked him to come for Ollie.
"No," Kimi said, and his ears went red as he heard how breathless he had gone, "no problem at all, mate."
Ollie snuffled loudly. Esteban looked at him suspiciously, before looking back at Kimi. He nodded sharply. "Good."
"Good," Kimi parroted.
"Good," George drawled from the doorway, unfolding himself from where he was leaning. "Also, Toto is here."
The room snapped to attention. Toto Wolff strode in, the door clicking shut behind him. "Hello, Kimi, Esteban, Oliver," he nodded to each of the drivers. "What is so good?"
"Nothing," Kimi squeaked.
"Hmm," Toto said.
Ollie trotted over to him and made a sound. Toto looked at him, barely blinking at the marshmallows. "Hello, Oliver. I see you are… a deer." Ollie pushed his nose into the black fabric of Toto's shirt. Unfazed, Toto started petting him lightly. A hot flare of jealousy spiked through Kimi at the sight, unexpected and irrational, sending tingling pins of heat through his fingertips.
Esteban sneezed. His eyes flicked, surprised, to the Italian.
"What," Kimi tried not to snap. Judging by the twin looks Toto and George shot him, he didn't fully succeed.
"Ah, nothing." Esteban said. He shot Toto a Look. Very casually, he asked, "do you have the gift?"
Toto's eyes narrowed.
"Ah, no," Kimi said, bemused, "I am just Italian, I think?"
"Right," the Frenchman said slowly, rubbing at his pinked nose. "If you say so..."
George cast him a sideways look, a hand brushing over his back to rest on his waist. Esteban shrugged lightly, leaning almost imperceptibly into the touch. "Tell you later, cheri," he whispered. The sound carried through the small room. George went pink and very carefully did not look at Toto.
Cheri, Kimi mouthed to himself. Next to him, Ollie snickered.
"Shall we get started," Toto said, sliding a pair of sunglasses on.
"Right," Esteban nodded.
The room seemed to draw breath in anticipation. Esteban closed his eyes. He flexed his hands, and the hair on Kimi's arms stood up on its end. When he opened them, his fingertips were pulsing with energy, glowing without light. His eyes were dark and heavy. Esteban placed his hands on the soft speckled fur of Ollie's sides and ran them down his haunches, softly mouthing to himself. The room shivered. Kimi watched in faint confusion as Ollie's ears flattened against his head; his whole body was frozen still, apart from his tail, flicking agitated as Esteban ran his hands over his sides, his neck, his legs. When his eyes darted over to George, the older driver was tense, shoulders almost around his neck, gritting his teeth as Esteban chanted quietly, energy rolling off of him in waves.
"Kimi," Toto said quietly, and his hand came down to rest firm on his shoulder. "You do not feel… affected?"
"Not really, should I be?" Kimi twisted to look at the older man. Toto looked more at ease than George and Ollie, though there was a hard set to the line of his mouth.
"Well, you know, it depends," he said ominously. Kimi blinked at him. It wasn't that he couldn't feel how Esteban's gift billowed through the room, ozonic and heavy like a thunderstorm. It was only that it didn't feel oppressive but comfortable, like the pressure of a heavy blanket after a long day.
"On what?"
"Don't worry about it," Toto said. He squeezed Kimi's shoulder, and his wrist was tense. "Esteban is finishing up, pay attention."
Kimi brushed the odd wording off as he looked back at Esteban, who had his nose pressed to Ollie's, his eyes boring blankly into the deer's. Ollie's eyes darted over and met Kimi's nervously. Instinctively, the corner of his mouth ticked up. Ollie huffed and rolled his eyes. Esteban was whispering something soothing into his ear, his fingers leaving spots of light over Ollie's neck. The marshmallows were filling up with light, glowing and puffing up with a soft red light. The whole effect was very much like something out of a Christmas movie.
Absentmindedly, Kimi's fingers drifted to the whale charm on his necklace. It was cool under his fingers, gleaming and sparking against his fingertips.
Esteban straightened up, his eyes dimming. The pressure rushed back into the room, and Kimi could hear the sharp inhale as the two Brits took a deep breath. When he stumbled backwards, George was already there, an arm slipping around his waist to steady him. Kimi glanced nervously at Toto, whose eyebrows had gone very high.
"You have gotten better since your junior days," the team principal said casually. "Less… exploding things, nowadays."
Ollie made a high pitched noise. Kimi felt like mirroring it. Only the sheer embarrassment of doing that in front of Toto stopped him. "Was that, ah, was that a concern??"
Esteban rolled his eyes and petted Ollie lightly on the nose. "Only with the cars. Apparently I am not supposed to just inspect and adjust it on my own, especially since the cars are suppressed and charmed against… well, people like me. It is fine, on living things, because the gift is meant to be living, and it worked just fine last time, no?"
"Mm." Toto slid the sunglasses off his face. He folded them neatly, tucking them back into his pocket. "Well, Ayao is on his way now, but it is unlikely we will get this sorted before the race starts, unless you have managed to find out the problem?"
"Er." Esteban shot a look that might be described as frantic at Kimi, and then redirected the look to George. "Not really?"
"What do you mean, not really?" Toto's voice went dangerously low. "It is a yes or no question, Esteban, and you are allowed to say no."
Esteban threw another panicked look at George. "Well, I have some direction, but I am not so clear on the details, and maybe it is better, for Ayao and the team to take a look?"
The Brit pursed his lips, but he didn't say anything.
"So you don't know," Toto said shortly.
"You might even say that I have no i-deer," Esteban blurted out. His eyes glittered.
Kimi gaped at him.
"I have never," George said after a short pause, "seen a deer look so unimpressed."
Toto sighed fondly. "You may have gotten better at magic, Esteban, but the puns, they are still not very funny. Alright, children, the race is soon. I suppose you have your reserve drivers here today."
Beside Kimi, Ollie straightened up, his ears pricked.
"Where is Ayao? I have been texting him, and trying to call him, but he is not answering. I would have thought he would be jumping at the chance to sneak through Mercedes."
"Well," Esteban hedged. Besides him, George had clamped a hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking lightly. "I think he is very busy right now, because it is race day, and both of his drivers have disappeared. You will have to ask him, next time you see him, why he is not letting you get in touch with him?"
The Austrian paused. "Does he really still have me blocked?"
Ollie snickered, ducking his head. Esteban swatted at him lightly. "Oliver, that is very rude! Other people's affairs are not our business!"
He pointedly didn't answer Toto's question.
Toto rolled his eyes. "Just call him. We can sort it out over the phone, if he can't come over, but we don't have much time."
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George pulled Kimi aside while everyone was distracted.
Toto was still talking to Esteban and on the phone with Ayao, trying to figure out the logistics of how to get Ollie out and back to Haas without being seen, where to keep Ollie, what to do with him, what Mercedes was willing to offer. No, Toto was declaring, just because their driver was trapped here did not mean Mercedes would be letting Haas witches into the team building. Well, tough luck, they could send personnel to extract Ollie, but that would mean parading the deer through the main paddock, unless they could find another way to get him out. No, Toto had no idea how Ollie had gotten in in the first place, don't be silly.
George met Kimi's eyes and jerked his head, slipping out the door and down the corridor. Kimi shot a look at the knot of people around the deer, lost in discussion.
Ollie was looking at him, his eyes wide and unblinking. His nose gleamed.
Kimi swallowed, and followed George out the room.
"You don't have to do this, you know?" George said, tucked away outside by the doorway. "I know you two were… it's not something you have to deal with, Kimi, if you don't want to."
Kimi's face went still. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to have this conversation with George. Of course, if he said that, George would probably get Toto, and that would be infinitely worse, because it would be Toto, and Toto wouldn’t even understand. George at least had had that whole thing with Max ages ago. Toto would just be wise and gentle and horribly himself about it all, and he hadn't even known, really, about what Kimi had gotten up to with Ollie last year.
"It's, ah, it's fine, George," he said, trying to smile. "It's just Ollie. I want to help, of course, it's no big deal."
"If you're sure," George said doubtfully. His eyes were very big and very blue, concern rippling through them. "Well. If it gets too much, just get me and I'll deal with it, alright?"
"Of course," Kimi said. He smiled, and he knew it came out wrong, because he could feel it in his cheeks, he could tell by how George's eyes flickered and narrowed. "Ah, I will be fine, George, worry about your own race."
"My own-" George laughed, grinning. "I've qualified ahead of you, Kimi, how about you worry about catching me at the start."
"Will do," Kimi laughed back, and prayed that his face looked normal.
"Always happy to help," he said. There was something steely in his face. "I'm of a mind to have a word with Oliver, when he turns back, the cheek of him to be coming to you, after-"
"Thanks for your help, George," Kimi all but shouted. Toto and Esteban turned at the commotion, Esteban's hand flying up to hold Ollie's head in place by the antlers.
"Kimi," Toto called, "is everything okay?"
Kimi swallowed. George was still looking at him, worried and peeved and almost soft. "Fine," he called back. "Don't worry about it."
"Just think about it, okay?" George muttered, patting him on the arm. "You don't have to deal with it on your own."
Kimi stayed very still. He didn't shrug him off. George just sighed and walked back in.
"So," Toto was saying, when Kimi finally collected himself enough to rejoin the others, "unless you can reverse it in the next hour, Ollie will have to stay here until after the race. We will sort something out later, yes?"
Ollie sighed, and folded his legs down. He settled into a loaf on the floor, laying his head down to look at Esteban with plaintive eyes. Esteban made a soft noise, and started stroking his velvety flank. "It will be okay, Ollie, the reserve driver will not wreck your car, yes? It will be Ryo, and he has driven this track in the sim many times. Besides, the car is not so good this weekend-" he cut himself off, looking quickly at Toto, tapping impatiently at his phone, and the two Mercedes drivers left in the room.
"It's not a secret," George said. "You've qualified in the late tens. It could be worse, you could be missing a top ten start."
Ollie honked grumpily. Kimi could sympathise. It was no fun to be missing a drive, even worse when it was a race and not just practice or testing. But it could not be helped, if Esteban could not solve it all at once, and Ollie was stuck here.
"How did you get in here, anyways?" Toto asked, looking up from his emails. Kimi and Ollie shared a frantic look. Kimi had never checked if Toto had known about the secret entrance, and he wasn't about to tell him now, not unless he wanted to sit through another lecture and briefing about 'team security'. In his defence, it was not his fault that a lot of locks were pickable, nor that people left things lying around. In any case, Mercedes doors now ran on passkeys, and team personnel had gotten almost freakishly good at locking devices that weren't imminently used, and Kimi had sat through multiple hours of briefings on security. If Lewis had never told Toto about the backdoor in his driver's room, it was not Kimi's job to tell him now.
"I don't know," Kimi gulped, forcing himself not to look at Ollie, "he just appeared."
Toto looked at him suspiciously. "Right. He just appeared."
"Oh, come off it, Toto," George came to the rescue. "Kimi can't help it if someone's decided to target Haas and Mercedes, it's not like he's the one conjuring deer out of thin air, is he?"
Esteban coughed. The sound echoed in the suddenly quiet room.
"…Right," Toto said. "Because Kimi has not declared any magic, so obviously it cannot be him."
Kimi tried very hard not to notice how the phrasing was odd.
"Right!" George clapped loudly, smiling bemusedly around the room. "Now, before we're all off for the race, how are we going to keep Ollie here without people walking in on him?"
Ollie blinked. Kimi met his eyes, and the deer did something that was like a cheeky grin, and Kimi's mind started cartwheeling over the possibilities.
There was an audible spark in the air. Esteban's gaze snapped upwards suspiciously.
"Guys," Kimi said, "I have an idea. Wait here."
When he finished hanging the sign up on the door, the others clustered round and slowly fell silent. Ollie, still sitting inside the room, honked curiously at the knot of them standing there, obstructing his view.
"Kimi," Toto said very slowly, "this is not a toilet."
He nodded furiously. "Yes, exactly, this room cannot be used as a toilet right now, so it is out of order as a toilet, you see?"
The OUT OF ORDER - TOILET sign hung loudly from the door. Toto sighed even louder. George was looking at Kimi oddly. Beside him, Esteban was shaking silently, a hand stuffed over his mouth. "What about the toilet you stole the sign from?"
Kimi flapped a hand at him. "Shush, that is not important right now, and anyways I am the only one who comes down this side of the hospitality, so as long as I remember, it will be fine. Besides, I got this from the supply cupboard, so it will be okay."
"The… locked supply cupboard?" Toto said. Instinctively, Kimi looked at Ollie for cover. Ollie, as a deer, did not have anything helpful to say.
He was saved by Esteban looking at his watch and cursing softly in French. "Sorry, guys, I really have to run, we still have to do the briefing and I need to talk to Ayao beforehand, because of…" He waved a hand at Ollie, who was still bundled flat on the floor, his eyes big and mournful. He sighed and waved at Ollie. "Be good, mon chou."
Ollie grunted, a low pathetic sound. Esteban laughed, light and airy. Toto turned pointedly to look at Kimi as Esteban approached George, and Kimi determinedly fixed his eyes on empty space, and so neither of them technically saw Esteban press a light kiss to George's cheek. "Bye now."
"Bye," George said, his face bright red.
"Bye, Esteban," Kimi said loudly, looking with intense interest at the plaster wall of the room.
"Yes, good luck, Esteban," Toto echoed firmly. "George, Kimi, briefing is in fifteen minutes, so suit up, yes? George, your heart rate must already be quite high, so perhaps warm up will be faster for you."
"Right," George said firmly, and strode out of the room. Toto looked at the deer still sitting on the floor, and his face softened. "Oliver, we will have someone bring you some food. Perhaps some milk and cookies. We will see if you can get sorted out, after the race."
"Can we get him a stream," Kimi blurted. Two pairs of brown eyes turned to look at him. Like, to drink from? he could hear Ollie's voice ask incredulously in his head. He shook his head to clear the thought. "Ah, it is only that it must be quite boring, to be stuck as a deer, I thought perhaps we could at least let him watch the race?"
Ollie perked up, eyes going bright. Toto smiled, clapping a hand on Kimi's shoulder. "You're a good kid, Kimi. I'll get Alys to set something up. Now go get ready, before you miss the start."
𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴 𓃴
The absurdity of the situation only hit Kimi all at once when he was sitting back in his driver's room, changing into his fireproofs. Ollie was a deer. Ollie had turned up at his door. Ollie was still so vividly Ollie, soft and happy and sparkling and warm, exactly how Kimi remembered him and tried so hard not to. It was easier to be around Ollie when he was like this — when his soft doe-eyed looks were because he had the eyes of a doe, rather than because it was Ollie; when he was too much animal to realise how Kimi still felt; when Kimi had an excuse to be soft with him. When Kimi could say for sure that any imagined affection was just that: imagined; just himself projecting onto an animal.
Kimi glanced at his phone, which had fallen to the floor, and winced. There were a long string of messages from Ollie, nonsensical strings of keysmashing. It made sense, given that he had become a deer. What Kimi didn't understand was why Ollie would have expected Kimi to pick up, or reply, or solve the problem for him. His teammate was a witch. Besides, Ollie had been the one to break things off, all those months ago; Ollie had basically ignored him ever since, and it was not fair for him to come running back as soon as he had a problem. It was not even like Kimi could solve the problem. Ollie just wanted to get into his head.
With shaky hands, he carefully undid his nonna's necklace. The cord was warm from his skin. He could feel his fingertips pulsing hot against the silver.
"For fuck's sake," he muttered, and tucked the necklace into the pocket of his trousers.
Kimi sat through the briefing in a seething haze. Faintly, he could register Rosie and Shov talking about track conditions and pit windows, but he couldn't hear past the buzzing in his ears, the hot pulse of his heart pounding against his neck, his skull, his skin. Bono would tell him anything important, he knew; all he had to do was drive and listen. There was something restless and angry under his skin, thrumming bright against his fingertips. Kimi twitched nervously, compulsively flexing his hands against his thighs. The world was somehow too bright and too quiet. He couldn't focus. All he could feel was irritation, hot and heavy, clinging to him under the racesuit.
"It's time," Bono said, clapping a hand on Kimi's shoulder. He startled. He hadn't realised the briefing had ended. When he looked around, the room was emptying slowly. Bono raised an eyebrow at him. "Let's hit the track, champ."
Kimi let out a long breath. There was no more time to get lost in the woods of his own head. Bono handed him the preventives in a little paper cup and he knocked them back; out of the corner of his eye, he could see George doing the same. He exhaled, and felt some of the itch in his bones settle. And then the helmet went on, and he climbed in the car. The mechanics started wheeling him out onto the track, and he squinted at the hazy sun in his eyes, and slowly, his fury at Ollie faded to blinding white.
One by one, the lights blinked on. One by one, the thoughts drained out of Kimi's head. And then the lights went, and Kimi's foot was on the throttle, and all there was was the track in front of him, surrounded by twenty one other drivers, none of them Ollie.