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Senkuu was never one to be the best at the whole… feelings thing. Of course he understood them scientifically, and he knew that science and his friends made him happy. He knew that watching a sad movie made you sad. Or doing something annoying can frustrate you or turn you angry. Senkuu wasn’t an idiot, and he understood it all.
He just never was good at comforting people, or letting people comfort him. Especially not in the stone world.
Back in the modern world he could just cheer himself up by sitting with Taiju and existing near him, or playing his favorite video game, or hell learning something new. In the stone world, he didn’t have video games, or movies, and there wasn’t much new progression until they built back up to the standard of living the modern people had become used to.
He obviously could still hang out with Taiju, since that big oaf was still walking around, but if he did they had to talk. Or they had to be doing something, but nothing in the stone world was mindless or distracting. At least not without it being boring as well.
Maybe Senkuu needed video games sooner than he thought.
But, all that was to say, Senkuu hadn’t really had a great time handling his emotions after being revived. They were easy enough to push to the side at first, but things broke once too full, and he knew he was reaching that point.
There were a lot of things Senkuu could be sad about, or scared about, or anything like that. After all, his father had died without Senkuu ever knowing. He had been trapped in a terrifying, form of limbo for 3,700 years and some change. He could be upset about dying, or losing friends. He could be upset about the entire weight of the world being put on his shoulders despite him barely being an adult.
So there were a lot of reasons that Senkuu could be upset, and there were a lot of things he still needed to process most likely. But that was all Gen’s area of expertise, not Senkuu’s, and he’d rather Tsukasa just come and kill him again before he exposed himself by going to the mentalist.
Stupidly, Senkuu had stepped away from the village a couple of hours ago with the intention of just going a little ways into the cave, to grab some gallium and whatever else he happened to run into. The metal was soft enough that he’d easily be able to mine it on his own, or so he had hoped.
Chrome had done it on his own before.
He wasn’t wrong though. The stone world had built up his muscles -- if only slightly. He had been able to mine the gallium without issue. The only problem?
He had forgotten to take the mica pits into account.
He had thought he wouldn’t even have gone in that far, but apparently the pits were larger than he’d thought originally, and now he was stuck in a pit.
Alone.
And of course his arm was bleeding from the fall!
Though that wasn’t the worst part. He just needed to wrap it quickly and it was fine. His bigger problem was well… being trapped.
He had wanted some time to be alone, since he didn’t have much privacy nowadays. He slept in the observatory, so Chrome had his own hut to himself again, but then Gen took to sleeping in the observatory too!
Senkuu just wanted a few hours alone to think about some things, and process what he was going through.
Now he was stuck in a dark pit, alone, with nobody around to help.
In the fall his headlamp had broken too. It was just his luck.
Even if the hole was small enough that Senkuu could’ve crawled out by putting his back to one wall, he wouldn’t have the strength to do so. He couldn’t think of a reason out of this mess.
Maybe he should’ve made Taiju a smartphone. Just for this reason. He hated calling for help though, so it was a possibility that he wouldn't have even taken it if it were an option.
Then again, he really didn’t like being in the dark like this. It was far too familiar.
Some small, miniscule part of his brain had been counting since he was petrified, just in case it had happened again. Thanks to that, he knew how long he’d been down here.
He had been down here for 2548 seconds, roughly 45 minutes.
This time, though, he needs to eat, sleep, and drink water. If he was lucky, he’d last maybe another 3 days. Which really didn’t sound like a fun time. He could kill himself early, but he didn’t have a millimeter of interest in trying.
By the hour mark, his heart had started to beat faster and he felt panic starting to seep in. That was to be expected, Senkuu was human, and humans panicked in life and death situations. It was a shock he’d stayed so calm in the other life and death situations if he was being honest.
Except there was a way out that he knew of. This time he had to rely on the observational skills of people that were busy with jobs that Senkuu had expected would take each of them at least a couple of weeks.
Is this what my father felt like?
Okay his head needed to shut up, thoughts like that were the opposite of productive, counterproductive if you will. There was no point in thinking those things, especially if he was already on the verge of panicking.
I’ll just count forever, but this time you’ll die before you see the sun again.
Senkuu took a deep breath, and really, really wished he could actually see something. If he had a phone flashlight, he could fix his headlamp, then he would probably figure out what to do.
But of course, it was broken. It was pitch black. Senkuu couldn't even see his hand millimeters from his face. It was the stone all over again.
And by the goddess, he fucking hated it so much.
He had always been around light after his de-petrification. The moonlight was enough light for his liking. It was never truly dark. It was never this dark.
Part of him wondered if he’d been petrified again. But he quickly dropped that thought, there was no green light that poured in. If there was, he’d be able to see. Not to mention that he could actually move, feel himself breathing. He could feel the wound that the fall had given him pulsing. Hell, he could even spit in his hand if he wanted to.
He was not petrified, so why the hell was he scared that he was?
Words like trauma and PTSD flooded through his mind. Senkuu had never paid much attention to pyschology. That was more of the mentalist’s thing. And like he’d said, he would rather be down here than talk to him about feelings.
He shoudln’t be afraid of dying. Yeah, that was right! He’d died before, and it was nothing to be scared of. He felt nothing, saw nothing, couldn’t breath or think or….
Wow, death was a lot more like petrification than he’d origonally put together.
He really didn’t liek that thought.
When he was petrified, his father died without him so much as having an inkling of a thought. For all Senkuu knew, he had been petrified in space. When he died, Taiju and Yuzuriha had to exist without him. Come up with a plan to survive with Tsukasa running around and smashing statues of people who deserved to live.
Senkuu was no religious man, but he knew that if heaven and hell existed (which they didn’t) he would be going straight down. Yet that didn’t exist, and suddenly, he realized why people were comforted by the idea of an afterlife, even if it did include eternal damnation.
Why was he thinking like this?
Well, because he was obviously going to die. And that thought was supposed to be scary.
So why wasn’t the thought scary?
Or is the thought scary and Senkuu just doesn’t realize it?
This was confusing the scientist, he didn’t need to bother with this line of thinking. It was just going in circles with your mind. He knew what was true, and he didn’t need to make the rest of his (now quite short) time left terrible. Maybe if he just thought about wormhole theory or something? Yeah, that would probably keep him distracted until he died.
I wonder what Byakuya would say right now?
Senkuu chuckled, “He’d probably say something stupid like, ‘there's always a way out. You just need to find it.’” He shook his head as he spoke, though it didn’t matter if he didn’t or didn’t. Nobody would see it.
He looked towards the sky, or where his internal compass said the entrance to this particular mica pit was. He couldn’t stop a tear from rolling down his cheek as he imagined the stars sitting up there instead.
He would like to have died under the stars instead.
He imagined his father did, and that thought brought him some comfort. The thought of his father being able to see the stars one more time, knowing his son would save the world…
He didn’t but hey, at least he got the ball rolling.
A choked sob left his lungs and he didn’t appreciate the way he did truly want to cry. It was a waste of time, of energy. He’d cried Byakuya that one night, and while the grief still lingered, he didn’t need to cry about it again.
But was that really the only reason he was crying?
He was alone, in a pitch black place. His father was dead, and never coming back home. He had an army to both create and fight. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders while being 17. He just got divorced (though he wouldn’t exactly say he was upset over that). The fact that he hadn’t been able to talk to Taiju nor Yuzuriha in over a year.
Okay, so Senkuu was holding onto a lot, but wasn’t everybody?
Another sob left his mouth, and he really didn’t appreciate his body overruling his decision that he didn’t have time for this, or that this was a waste of time.
But then again, if he was going to die here, he technically had all of the time in the world.
Another sob broke out of him, and he finally gave in.
Sitting down, knees to his chest. His arms shook as he sobbed, forehead to his arms that were wrapped around his knees to hold himself tightly together. His headlamp was set to the side. It wasn’t like he could see it sitting there, mocking him.
His eyes were red and puffy by the time he heard a familiar voice echoing through the cavern, calling for him.
Hope bloomed in Senkuu’s chest as he pulled himself to his feet, ignoring the way he swayed. With one hand on the wall, he called out as loud as he figured was safe.
“Suika! Be careful!” he had to make sure she wasn’t trapped down here too, first and foremost. He wouldn’t be able to toss her out of the pit like Magma did for him.
He saw light shine above him, a warm smile creeped into his face.
“Where are you? I can’t see you!” she cried, the light was moving around to search for him.
He stuck his finger to his ear and spoke out to her, “I’m stuck in a mica pit. Please be careful.”
He wasn’t sure if he’d ever said please in his life; but that wasn’t the current issue.
The light paused, then eventually, footsteps approached. Then, finally, a watermelon head peered over the edge of the pit from above. Senkuu and Suika both found themselves smiling at each other. There was a headlamp around her neck.
“Why are you down here?” Senkuu questioned, putting a hand out to shield his eyes from the bright light.
Her smile turned a bit sour as she looked at him, like she was about to cry. “I hadn’t seen you for a couple of hours, and the others were too focused on their crafting projects.”
Senkuu smiled, looking around the pit he was stuck in. He was stupid for thinking they wouldn’t have gone looking for him. In his defense, he had planned to leave within a handful of hours.
“Our best bet would be using a ladder. Though I don’t suppose you have one of those?” he questioned, already knowing the answer.
Suika shook her head before sitting straight up and looking around. She looked back down at him and asked, “I can get Gen and Chrome to help though!”
Senkuu chuckled, and nodded, “Yeah that sounds good. I’ll see you back here in an a few hours then.”
Suika nodded, and stood up. She left, announcing she’d be back.
That gave Senkuu roughly 9,000 seconds to pull himself together enough to avoid at least Chrome’s questioning.
He wasn’t confident the mentalist wouldn’t see straight through him though, but that was a different bridge entirely.