Chapter Text
He takes a deep breath, calculating his life choices one last time.
“I wish...” the hollow woven stick held tightly between his hands didn’t feel any different; not hotter nor heavier, “I wish I’ll meet my soulmate, now.” He breaks the stick.
He thought about his selection of words for about three days before actually taking the step of making the wish. As a smart guy, he knows that wishes are tricky and can twist your words against you if you’re not careful.
Like, if he wished just to meet his soulmate; the wish might have had him live out his whole life and then actually meet them at his death bed.
So he made sure to say ‘now’, implying a clear time frame.
He also chose to do it on a roof with open access, so realistically anyone could get there if needed.
Peter looked around, turning this way and that, to see if anyone came, or materialized from thin air.
No such luck.
“Stupid wishing stick... of course it doesn’t actually work,” he tosses the broken halves behind his shoulder and paces the edge of the roof, “should’ve used the money to buy a hotdog instead...”
His foot kicks a pebble and he slips.
Wait.
He slips?
Spider-Man doesn’t slip! Spider-Man has sticky powers, always!
As he starts falling over the roof he fumbles with his web-shooters, and, oh fuck, the right one is jammed???
His Spidey sense buzzes across his spine- danger.
“Fuuuuu-” his left web-shooter is out of web fluid. Of course. He should have known better. Wishes are for chumps! They always find a way to mess with you! Everyone knows that! Stupid Parker luck. His soulmate is probably dead already so now he’s being escorted to the same fate.
He tucks himself into a fetal position, prepearing for a very painful impact.
“Ack!!”
A thud, crunch, and a little bit of a squelch, as he lands. On someone?
“Oh no, oh god, oh no,” he shifts around and notices the stranger managed to catch Spidey’s head and tuck it to his chest to save it from crashing to the unforgiving asphalt. He moves away, feeling a bruised hip and maybe slightly twisted ankle, but not much else.
The stranger, however, was less lucky. His breath makes a gurgling sound implying lung damage, his body is twisted in an unnatural way, which can happen with a broken spine, and his right knee is bent the wrong way.
“Fuck! This hurts,” the stranger coughs, “what the hell happened, Spidey?”
“I’m so sorry, oh my god, how are you still alive? I slipped, and my web-shooters malfunctioned, and oh god...” a panic attack has made its way to Peter’s body. His lungs not getting enough air in them with the fast shallow breathing he was experiencing. Bile was rising in his throat at the sight of the mangled man who saved his life at the expence of his own.
Snap, crackle, pop.
The stranger’s leg looked normal now. His back twisted in snappy motions until it lined back the way it should be again.
“Fucking hate healing bones, it’s always so damn painful! And I can feel them snapping and growing back, you know? Can you imagine how that feels?” He pushes himself off the ground and stretches his back until it pops into place.
“Wha- how- who are you?” Spidey stares in disbelief at the perfectly fine man in front of him. He should’ve been dead, or at the very least extremely hurt and probably passed out. No normal person could possibly fix themselves like this.
The guy looked around, and then looked at himself, patting at his body and then his face, “oooh, right, I left without my suit!” he smacked his forehead with the heal of his hand, “duh, you haven’t seen me without the suit, it’s me, Deadpool!” He grinned.
“Deadpool?”
“The one and only! You didn’t get amnesia when you slipped, did you, Spidey-cakes?”
Peter huffed a relieved breath buckling over his knees. His head feels light and fuzzy with the lack of oxygen.
“Thank god it’s just you...”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Unsuited Deadpool crossed his arms over his chest.
“That if it were anyone else, they’d be dead right now, and that would be all my fault!” Spidey crouched to the ground, to try and catch his breath again. The events of this evening weighing down on him.
“You okay, Webs?” Deadpool crouched next to him.
“No! I’m not okay! I did something dumb and almost died or got someone else killed!” Peter tucked his face between his knees and did his best not to sob.
“Well, hey, I was just on my way to get some food, if you want to join? You won’t believe the crazy day I’ve had so far! I was binge watching Supernatural, and apparently, I was so locked in that three days had passed! Can you believe it? Sitting on the couch for three fucking days? Don't worry, I did take bathroom breaks, I'm not that disgusting, and I ate a bunch of popcorn the whole time, but yeah three days have passed and I didn’t actually eat any proper food, so I called the Mexican place I usually order from and get this! They can’t deliver! Fucking why? All their delivery guys called in sick! On the same day! Like what the fuck, right? Anyway, I’m not a quitter so I got my ass up and went to drive my vespa there, but the bitch was out of gas! Fuck me! And so obviously I had no choice but to walk there now, which, okay, is not too bad since I could definitely use the exercise after being stuck to the couch for three days, so here I am, walking to get food and WHAM! A fucking spidery angel literally falls into my lap! Yeah, you shattered some of my bones, but I forgive you.”
Peter snuck a hand under his mask and wiped the moisture that gathered there from his panicking while Deadpool was telling his story. His rambling was so distracting that it managed to calm Peter down. He took a deep breath and looked over at his savior.
Out of Suit Deadpool wore a dark hoodie and sweatpants, the hood got knocked off his head with the fall so his full face was on display for the first time since Spider-Man met him. His skin was scarred, which wasn’t a surprise, but he now got a full view of his light blue eyes and fairly attractive face shape with a strong jaw and good cheekbones.
If you ignore the fact that he had no eyebrows and the scars: Deadpool was objectively attractive.
“Wait, Spidey, now that I think about it, aren’t you really sticky? Like, how did you manage to even slip?”
“Dude, I have no Idea. It's not something that should ever happen.” Peter rubbed his forehead.
“Well, what were you doing up there before you slipped then?”
“I was just...”
No.
Fuck no!
“Noooooo...” Spidey's head slowly turned towards Deadpool, the realization sinking deep into his core. He darted up to look around the street- no one. Not a soul besides the two of them.
“This can’t be right,” he looks back at Deadpool, “there’s no way. This is a joke! Obviously, it’s just a really weird coincidence! Right?” he gestured with his hands towards the man.
“What is? You're kinda freaking me out here, Webs, not gonna lie.” Deadpool frowned at his frantic pacing around.
Spidey stopped and clapped his hands together, placing them on his lips as he takes a grounding breath through his nose.
“Okay. This is gonna sound absolutely bonkers...” he gestured his joined hands towards Deadpool, “I got this... stick... that is supposed to grant you one wish. It's called the One Wish Willow.” He paused to gage the other man’s reaction. He just raised his eyebrow and shrugged.
“And so, I thought really long and hard-” “that’s what she said-” “-about what I should wish for- don't interrupt me!” Spidey huffed, “I thought what I should wish for, what I really truly want that I would have no way of getting without using the wish. Like, I wouldn’t waste it on food or money, since there’s always a way to get those things with other methods, not that I would mind having more money, but the point is, those are basically perishables, so I wanted something real, something that lasts, something that might actually make me happy.” He takes a breath and looks at Deadpool again, who raised his hood back up to cover half of his face and started playing with the strings.
Spidey pursed his lips, “so I decided to wish to meet my soulmate. Now.” He tucks his hands under his armpits and feels a blush spreading on his face. Good thing he has his mask on.
Deadpool stops playing with the strings and raises the hood over his forehead, so his eyes are visible again. He looks confused.
“Wait, so who did you meet? Did they push you off the roof? That's some shitty soulmate you got there!” He chuckled.
Spidey wasn’t amused.
“The only person...” inhale, “that I’ve seen since I made the wish,” exhale, “is you.”
Deadpool’s face turned blank, and possibly more pale.
“Me?” If he had eyebrows they’d be climbing up to his bald head right now.
“Yeah! You! Which is why I’m thinking the thing is probably defected, or doesn’t even work, but look at what happened so far! I slipped? I don’t fucking slip! You went out on foot to get food because all the delivery people were unavailable? How's that even a thing??” Panic was coming back to Spidey, “and where are literally ALL the people??” he swung his arms around at the uncharacteristically empty street.
“Shit.” Deadpool scratches his cheek, “the wishing stick thinks I’m your soulmate? Talk about getting the short end of the stick! Am I right?” He chuckles humorlessly.
Spidey opens his mouth and closes it. Crap. He knew Deadpool didn’t have great self-esteem with all the self-deprecating humor he always threw around, and now he probably made him feel even worse, freaking out like he did. A cold guilty feeling spread around his gut.
“Hey, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just, wasn’t even expecting it to be a man, for starters.” He shrugs.
“What did you have in mind when you made the wish then? Some hot super model lady, who also happens to be a nerdy smarty pants?” Deadpool smirked.
“Well, I wasn’t really thinking about looks to be honest,” Peter rubbed his neck awkwardly, “it’s not really my first thought about a partner. Personality is way more important, and yeah, I guess I did sorta imagine someone who was smart, maybe a scientist, or just someone good, who helps people, like a nurse, or EMT, or something. I dunno, I just didn’t imagine, well... you.”
Deadpool tried his best to keep his face neutral but Peter noticed a note of hurt in his eyes. Dammit.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” he pushed himself up from the ground and dusted off his pants, “I’m obviously none of those things. The stick is bullshit anyway, and this whole thing was just a really weird coincidence. Obviously.” he pulled his hood lower and sniffed, “um, anyway, I was on my way to eat, so I’ll leave you to it. Hope you do get to meet your nerdy goody two shoes soulmate soon enough, maybe there’s just a lag on the definition of ‘now’ or something, who knows, wishes are tricky like that,” he tucked his hands in his hoodie pockets and started walking down the street, “Bye, Spidey.”
“Hey, wait!” Peter grabbed him by the fabric of his hoodie to make him stop, “um, you actually did save my life just now, and uh, I owe you one, okay? Anything you want, as long as it’s not money related- cuz I’m broke, and no killing.”
Deadpool slowly turned back around and a smirk was rising slowly on his lips,
“Aaaaanything I want?” His bald eyebrows wiggled as he bit his lip.
“Okay, third rule, nothing sexual.” Spidey squinted.
“Ugh!” Deadpool flailed his arms and stomped his foot like a toddler, “no fair!”
Peter crossed his arms and scoffed.
“Fine, whatever, cross out everything fun, why don’tcha!” Deadpool pouted, “I’ll think of something, I guess.” he looked around and added, “how do I contact you to redeem that IOU though? Can't expect me to walk around until you fall into my arms again, randomly, right?”
“Right.” Peter considers backing out of the offer, but he’d like to think that he’s not an asshole, “I can give you my number.” He puts out his hand, waiting for Deadpool to give him his phone.
“Oh. Cool.” he reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a cracked burner phone, “wait, lem’me check if it works,” he taps it, and magically the thing actually lights up, “sweet.” He hands Spidey the phone with a smile. Their fingers brush for a split second as Peter takes the device from him.
Peter taps in his Spider-Man phone number and saves the contact as “Spidey”. He hands Deadpool his phone back, which he snatches immediately and taps the call button, making his hidden pocket vibrate. Peter reluctantly pulls out his phone and saves the number as...
“What should I save you as? Deadpool is too long.”
“You can save me as Daddy then.” He wiggles his bald eyebrows and flicks his tongue out at him.
“Pool it is then,” Peter scowls. Can't believe the dumb stick thought this guy was his soulmate. Ridiculous.
“No, okay, fine just save me as Wade, I guess.” Wade rolled his eyes and pocketed his hands again.
“Wade,” Peter tried the name in his mouth and then entered it as the contact's name, “it suits you.” He looked up into his light blue eyes, darkened by the shadow of the hood.
Wade smiled, “thanks, I guess. Do I get a name? We're soulmates after all, aren’t we?” A shit eating grin spread on his scarred face.
“No.” Peter deadpanned.
“Yeah, aight, fair enough.” Wade shrugged, “guess I’ll go now, Spidey.” he turned back to the way he was going but stopped after two steps, “unless do you wanna join me? It's really good Mexican.” he peaked at Spider-Man over his shoulder.
“I... don’t think I can afford it right now.” Peter slaps himself in his imagination for wasting his food money on a dumb wishing stick.
“Oh please, when have I ever asked you to pay for food?” Wade turned to face him with a grimace.
Peter thought back on all their roof hangouts. Whenever Deadpool brought food, he’d always get extra for Spidey. And no, he never asked him to pay him back.
“Well, no, I guess you didn’t, but you just saved my life, and it feels a little weird that you’d also feed me.” Peter toed the crack in the sidewalk bashfully.
“Hey, if you don’t wanna be around me without my mask, I get it. Have a good night.” Wade gave him a small salute and started walking away again.
“Whoa, hey, no.” Spidey caught up with him and walked by his side, slightly limping on his twisted ankle, “I’ll gladly join you for a free meal, mask or no mask.”
Wade pulled out his hand and lowered his hood further, trying to hide his smile.
******
“So what would you wish for?” Peter’s mouth was full of burrito, his mask rolled up to his nose.
“Wow, I mean, I don’t even know if I would. Wishes are so tricky, they always find a way to fuck you over,” Wade gestures a hand between them back and forth, “case and point. I mean damn, you really should have just asked for like a mysterious positive income in your bank for life or something.”
Peter sighs, “Trust me; I thought about it. But then the morality of it creeped up on me. Like, where does the money come from? Is it being stolen from someone else? Is it just magically coming into being? I’m no expert, at all, but won't an influx of magic money ruin the economy over time? At the very least it’d probably cause inflation or whatever. So no. Money is too tricky.” he waved his hand in dismissal.
“Hmm... fair point,” Wade shrugs.
“Come on, gotta be something you’d wanna wish for, no?”
“Ugh, I don’t know man, I guess it would be nice if my skin would stop hurting, but that’s a whole can of worms! Like, what if the wish takes away my skin? Woo-hoo, my skin doesn't hurt anymore, but my exposed flesh sure does! Or like, it could take away my healing powers and the skin would stop hurting but then the cancer kills me from the inside...” Wade shrugs again.
“Well, what about wishing for the cancer to be gone?” Peter wonders.
“Oh, ha-ha no. That would be even worse, because my healing is so powerful; the cancer actually keeps it in check too. If you take away the cancer it would make me explode or something.” He stuffs his face with another taco.
“Well, okay, what about also asking to meet your soulmate?”
Wade gives him a stern look, “I wouldn’t want to ruin someone's day when they find out I’m their shitty soulmate.” He looks down at his hand and sighs, “case and point.”
Peter winces, recalling his behavior earlier in the evening. He really didn’t take it well, did he? I mean, can you blame him? It's Deadpool! A killer! A menace! A guy who has the personal hygiene of a ferret! Come on!
But... he’s also nice when he wants to be, and funny, and keeps up with Spider-Man's quips and banter, he buys him food on the regular. He's obviously traumatized from whatever he went through when getting his powers. Peter doesn’t exactly know the extent of it, but he got the footnotes. Nothing good.
And, well, he’s not bad to look at. Scars aside, his muscular physique and tall stature alone are fairly attractive. If you’re into guys, that is. And his face, well, you can tell he was very handsome before he lost all his hair and normal skin. Not that he’s ugly now. Just different.
“Hey, it was just... a lot to take in, okay?” Peter rustles a napkin between his fingers, “you’re not really a shitty soulmate. Just an unexpected one.” He shrugs.
Wade looks up at him. His face showing vulnerability, jaw muscles twitching as he clenches and unclenches his teeth.
“Really?” He finally says.
“Yeah, I mean, we get along, don’t we? Our humor matches, and you’ve been less murdery lately, right?”
“Well, yeah... I’ve actually been none murdery for like three months now.” He ducks his gaze to his plate.
“Wait,” Peter didn’t know this, “really? You haven’t killed anyone in three months?” Something warm flutters in his chest, “why didn’t you tell me?”
Wade’s face seems to tint pink, “wanted to surprise you when I reached a year, I guess. Maybe get one of those shiny chips like they do in AA or something.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but it’s obviously a big deal.
“Hey,” Peter puts his hand on top of Wade’s arm, “I’m proud of you, Wade.” He smiles at him as Wade’s face turns a deeper shade of red. He didn’t even know he could blush with all those scars. Cute.
“Thanks.” Wade flickers his eyes at him and back with a smile.
“Maybe I’d just ask for a lifetime of tacos.” Wade says, “Like each time I feel like it, a taco will appear in my hand.” he lifted the last taco like a prized possession and stuffed it into his mouth unceremonially, “wouhgd fave me a wot of monegh!”
“Ugh, say it, don’t spray it!” Peter laughed, “what if you get tired of tacos?”
“It’s not like I can’t eat anything else,” wade shrugs, “worst case I can pass my tacos forward to the less fortunate or something, I dunno.”
“Oh, so magnanimous of you.” Peter smiled.
“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m a very generous man. Generous with my food, generous in bed,” he wiggled his eyebrows with a grin for emphasis, “you name it.”
“Are you now...”
“Sure am, baby boy, ask anyone who ever got in bed with me,” he gestured at his uncovered face, “ribbed for your pleasure, if you get what I’m saying.” His eyebrows wiggled yet again.
Peter was glad he had his mask mostly on because he felt heat creeping up on his cheeks. He lowered the mask to cover his face completely just in case.
He didn’t actually think about Wade naked. Up till now.
It was logical that the rest of his body was full of bumps and ridges just like his face, if his hands were anything to go by, but it’s not like he took the time to imagine his naked visage.
He regretted it as soon as he did, because heat started pooling in his lower abdomen and his suit did nothing to conceal such mishaps.
“Well, I’m full. Let's get outta here.” Wade made a move to stand up from the booth.
“Uh, yeah, I’ll just finish my water real quick.” Peter grabbed his mostly ice cup and chewed on the ice for a moment to cool himself down. Luckily it worked fast enough that he could catch up with Wade outside.
******
Peter wanted to sleep. He really, really did.
The day has left him completely exhausted and drained. The weight of the food sitting warmly in his belly only helped him be sleepier.
But alas, he could not.
His brain was constantly buzzing with thoughts about his so-called “soulmate”, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it, no matter how hard he tried.
I mean if you really think about it, he does kinda make sense? Like the fact that he can't die! That has always been Peter’s greatest fear in a romantic partner- their ultimate demise due to the unfortunate affiliation with Spider-Man. But if that’s all it took, why not Wolverine?
I mean, fair, he’s pretty ancient and has a terrible temper, and like no sense of humor...
Wade wins in that regard at least.
But Deadpool has always been a thorn in Spider-Man's side. Hasn't he?
He remembers the early days clearly, when they fought and battled almost every time they met, over the whole killing people thing.
But... Wade hasn’t killed in three months.
And Wade sat with him while he was freaking out and calmed him down by talking so much that Peter’s brain could barely follow, let alone have time to focus on the panic.
Plus, his deep gravelly voice had a soothing effect on him in general.
Suddenly, the presence of his Spidey-phone became loud. Not that the phone rang or anything; he was just extra aware that it was on his cardboard box of a nightstand, next to his regular phone. And it happened to contain the phone number for that soothing gravelly voice...
No.
He shouldn’t.
How would that look? Like he’s some lonely, desperate loser, all alone, and lonely?
No, no, he has an image to uphold. Of someone who doesn’t mind to be alone...
But he made that whole soulmate wish though...
Fuck.
Fuck it. He has already made it clear that he’s a lonely loser who’s alone. What’s a phone call gonna do that’s worse?
Peter grabbed his Spidey phone and stared at the glowing screen until it dimmed back into darkness.
“Come on, it’s just a phone call. I’m sure he won’t read into it too much.” Peter frowned at the dark screen and grumbled, “yeah, right, of course he will, it’s freaking Deadpool we’re talking about... probably pick up the phone like ‘hey Spidey! Is this a booty call?’ or something dumb like that...”
He placed the phone back on the nightstand and shut his eyes with extra force, trying to forget the silly thought of calling the merc.
“Oh for crying out loud...” he caved on his resolution after about ten minutes, grabbing his phone and pressing on Wade to call.
He placed the phone to his ear and felt his heart quicken its rhythm at each dial tone.
“Nope!” Peter hung up before he could get an answer and tossed the phone on the floor, just out of reach.
“Sleep dammit...” he covered his full head under the duvet for emphasis.
BZZZZZZZT BZZZZZT
“Shit!” his hand snatched the phone, and sure enough Wade was calling him back, “fuck!” He pressed the device to his forehead and growled.
“Hello?” He answered with attempted nonchalance.
“Oh, hey Spidey. Did you call me? Was it a butt dial? It's okay if it was, it happens.” Wade’s voice sounded a little different over the phone. Somehow, even deeper than normal.
“Did I wake you up?” Peter laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling, trying to reel in his frantic heartrate.
“Nah, was just binging Supernatural some more. What's up?”
“Uh, nothing, just, um, trouble sleeping, is all.”
“Oh?” a moment of silence stretched out, “and so you called me?”
Peter squeezed his eyes shut, “yeah.” He breathed out, “you seem to have a knack for calming me down, so...”
More silence.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, your voice is deep, and you ramble non-stop which just puts my brain into a coma. Thought you might help me sleep.”
“Sorry, I might be a little distracted to ramble like I normally do.” Wade breathed into the phone mic, sending a shiver down Peter’s neck.
“Supernatural keeping you preoccupied then?” Peter smiled, his mind somehow feeling calmer already and his body sinking heavier into his mattress.
“Not really, no. Mostly can’t focus on anything besides your voice in my ear. You sound good when you’re tired, you know that?”
A blush creeped up on Peters face, good thing Wade couldn’t see him.
“Doesn’t everyone sound good when they’re tired? All raspy and quiet like that.” He smiled.
“Not as good as you, baby boy...” Wade said heavily.
Why was that making him feel hotter?
“Well, I really need some sleep before I have to get up in,” he snuck a look at the time, “about four hours... if you don’t wanna help that’s fine, but if you could just talk, that’d be great.” he blushed. This was the most forward he’s ever been and it made him feel bashful.
“Hey, yeah, I’d love to help,” Wade swallowed, “what do you want me to talk about?”
“I dunno, doesn’t matter. You can just tell me about the episode you’re watching or whatever you want.”
“Sure, I can do that.” Wade rustled and a soft sound started playing in the background. “Get comfy, Spidey, we’re going on a Supernatural adventure together!”
Peter smiled and put Wade on speaker, setting the phone next to his head on the pillow and closing his eyes.
Wade’s voice rumbled in his ears, sending warmth and relaxation all over. Peter noticed how he was trying his best not to shout, even though he sounded very excited about this psychic guy and whatever Sam and Dean were doing about him. He kept calling Dean “that hunk of a man”, and Sam “that tall drink of water”, which amused Peter.
He didn’t even notice when it happened, but the next thing he knew, he was waking up from his morning alarm with drool on his pillow and raging morning wood.