Chapter Text
Ryland Grace never prided himself as someone who was brave.
Even as a child he wouldn’t dare ride the giant hellscapes of rollercoasters he’d seen on piers- later he’d just used the excuse that they weren’t up to code or that he got sick easily, but he’d try to overcome them in his own ways.
The key word- try.
The one time he willingly decided that he had to be brave was when he pushed through the people that thought of him as nothing but another young man trying his luck with his field, he released his paper “An Analysis of Water Based Assumptions and Recalibration of Expectations for Evolutionary Models.” That was supposed to be his ticket to the science hall of fame.
His theory made sense! He swore it- it seems simple enough. All life forms on earth need H2O, carbon, and oxygen- but what’s stopping life forms from across the galaxy from forming differently? After all, life is just an assortment of atoms. What’s stopping a different planet to have a combination different then our own?
Once he published his one and only original idea to the world- all he got was a laugh to the face.
The leading scientists in molecular biology said it was impossible and, as a scientist like himself, should rethink his decision .
Long story short- he didn’t take it very well.
He called the board of directors a staggering waste of carbon and stormed out of the conference he just became a laughing stock of, trying to hold in the well of emotions already trying to flood out.
He thought he was done with braving the storm.
Then Eva Stratt came along.
She found his sanctuary, Grover Cleveland Middle School and dragged him back to the work he never wanted to see again.
At first, he was elated- he was one of the first to see the Petrova sample, the first to see possible alien life, the first to maybe prove his theory.
The astrophage cell was entirely water, which just drove his confidence right back down to rock bottom.
But Stratt didn’t seem to let that be his lowest, as he was granted permission to be a part of Project Hail Mary. He soon learned that the petrova problem would devolve into a worldwide crisis of the sun dimming enough to let the earth's agriculture free fall into the next and last ice age the earth would ever see. He could either help with the long shot of a ship which was the Hail Mary or watch the world and himself die in the next 30 years.
Of course he decided to help. What kind of monster would he be to refuse?
But to be one of three patron saints on their one way trip to Tao Ceti? That was a different story. Ryland got queasy on long elevator rides- how the heck would he survive space?
That was where he ended the line- he would not be those brave souls that would save the planet, he’d be the smart coward that stayed back, and he was perfectly fine with that.
But Stratt wasn’t.
He still could feel the dry grass mashed against his cheek as the men stuck a syringe in his back, his vision already getting hazy.
“You know who you are. You're going to do great.”
Carl meant well, he came to terms with that. Same with Eva Stratt- but it didn’t take away the pain. However the lingering question stayed buried in his head.
Who was he?
A middle school science teacher? Yes. A molecular biologist? Also yes. But those could fit anyone who tried hard enough, he didn’t have a combination to call his own. A personality that didn’t use the oxygen and hydrogen that everyone used.
He thought about that as much as he could when he was lonesome on the ship. That constant who am I? Who am I? WHO AM I? Drilling into his skull as the coma's lasting amnesiac effects still wore him down.
Rocky helped. Rocky distracted him enough to not worry about himself. Rocky was well, the rock that anchored him back to the reason he was sent against his will.
Then they found the Taomeba, the predator to Astrophage and the miracle to answer their gambles. And things started to crash down all at once.
He had to be brave again, face the world he was shunned out of and let them treat him as a hero for bravery he didn’t even have, no matter how many times Rocky told him elsewise.
The Taomeba eating through Xenonite was another excuse Ryland had in his grasp, he just had to sacrifice his journey home and save his friend then he’d never have to face the guilt and shame of his own planet.
He would’ve done it even if he wanted to go back to Earth. Rocky had been a better friend than any human he’d ever met, but something in the back of his head reminded him of the underlying personality he had regretted to have discovered .
Unadulterated cowardice.
It unfortunately influenced his every move and he hated it.
It made regular choices turn into elaborate and intense scenarios that’d flash through his mind. It made his heart beat like a jackhammer anytime someone mentioned his life.
Maybe that’s why he adapted to Erid so fast.
He stayed with Rocky throughout the trip, kept himself occupied so he wouldn’t over analyze every tiny mistake he’d made in his life. Color coded Mary’s manual library, slowly learned Eridian language, checked all the Taomeba at least every 20 minutes, ect. ect.
After that there wasn't a time where he couldn't leave himself unoccupied- his life on Erid didn't change that.
He would grade his students' papers, go to the Hail Mary to see what the Eridians had studied from human culture and findings, see rocky, have gossip sessions with Adrian. Anything to keep him away from his own thoughts
Today however changed that.
He was at the kitchen table sipping at the closest thing to coffee the Eridians could whip up when the door was berated by the rapid knocks of carapace limbs.
Ryland furrowed his brow as he got up and opened the door.
“Hello?-“
“Grace! Grace Grace Grace Grace GRACE! News! Big news, Adrian found, Rocky show! Rocky show NOW!”
Rocky jumped at him like an excited puppy just before he dashed around Rylands legs.
Rylands face smoothed with pure curiosity- he hadn’t seen Rocky this excited since he reunited with Adrian a year back, what could be that important.
“Uhh okay! Rocky let me get my shoes on-“ he managed to get out before Rocky’s chitters filled his ears
“No time. Grace, follow now, statement!”
He sighed, exasperated at his friend before jogging behind his alien friend in the sand. In his socks.
He cringed at the feeling but the excitement starting to pool in his nerves made him ignore that.
He watched the measured horizon of his biodome fly by as he tried to keep up with Rocky, the cold water lapping at the shore just a few yards away.
Ryland wondered how they managed to make it look as real as it was, only from pictures on earth and his own crappy descriptions but they managed.
The Eridani sun shone a tinge brighter than he’d ever seen on earth causing the clear water to glitter the brightest blue he’d ever seen. To simplify- it put his east coast beaches to shame.
Rocky was heading for the docking bay, where the Hail Mary still stood on the outskirts of the biodome just on the other side of the xenonite shell that kept him alive, Mary’s main hatch opening from his side of the dome.
He stopped right at the opening, trying to catch his breath.
“Rocky… What’s going on…? I… I thought we…hold on…” Ryland wheezed- Erid’s gravity still did numbers on what his lungs could take.
“Grace leaky body need to hurry up. Adrian waits for Grace. Grace hurry statement!” Rocky prodded. He walked around Grace and let him use his xenonite shell to bear part of his weight as he slowly climbed back onto his old ship.
They found Adrian in the cockpit holding the little vision gun- as Grace liked to call it - seemingly reading a map of some kind.
Rocky chittered something so fast Ryland didn’t catch it, while Adrian turned to face him and gently pushed her blue carapace against the Xenonite towards Rocky which Grace had learned was an Eridian custom of affection before she walked over to Grace.
Ryland loved Adrian as much as Rocky but he will say she is much better at being calm and coherent with big news than Rocky was.
“Nice to see you Grace. Sorry for mate. He is excitement for surprise we have for you.” Adrian chittered.
Grace smiled and kneeled down to be at eye level (was it eye level if they didn’t have eyes? Whatever)
“Nice to see you too Adrian, so what’s the Surprise? Should I be scared?” He watched as Adrian stretched up back to the screen.
The map was of Elipsom Eridani- the system Erid sat in with their massive sun, the asteroid belt and the two planets, Erid and what grace called Juno. Juno was as barren as it looked. The planet was dark blue with swirling clouds of dry storms. Rocky had told him before that Juno could never sustain life like Erid did- like Neptune or Jupiter could never hold life like earth but Rocky chittered with pure excitement like he was just about to prove that wrong.
Adrien tapped the screen.
“In Eridani system it is just Erid and Juno.”
“I know”
“But recently Eridians study moons of Juno.”
Grace's eyes widened. “What did they find?”
Rocky couldn’t hold it in anymore “Humans! We found humans at moon!”
Grace must’ve fallen over or something because he found himself sitting on the ground staring up at the eridani map.
Humans? How?
Adrian made an annoyed chirp at Rocky which shut him up temporarily.
“Not sure if humans but there is ships not from Erid with metal used like metal on Mary. Good chance it is human ship.”
Ryland gaped at Adrian. “There’s no way. It’s just- how?” He started rambling, his brain going a mile a minute.
Adrain just stood a bit taller as she put one of her front limbs on his chest, his sign to try and calm down.
“We do not know nearly anything about new ship. But Eridians want to visit and observe what newcomers want. Rocky and Adrain will go. Will Grace go too question?”
Ryland froze.
Another choice. Another option he’d have to be brave about. His own species could’ve been right around the corner, but why were they here? Did Stratt send them? He did send the recordings of him going to Erid back to earth, were they trying to find him?
He mentally slapped himself for that. No! They would never send a whole ship to save one person, and “saved” is a strong word. They were probably scouting out the probable colonization of neighboring planets in the eridani system.
Then his lingering curiosity started running through his body, he had to know why they were here, and as much as he’d like to acknowledge he wouldn’t mind seeing another face that wasn’t his own in the mirror.
The concerned chitter of Rocky brought him back to the present, his two rock-like friends waiting for his response.
He took a long, deep breath before he stood up.
“Okay…When do we leave?”