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Change was always a difficult thing to deal with, and considering Ren had completely changed everything in his life by moving to the city, it was no wonder he was struggling to adjust.
Getting a job as a drama teacher in the city was, at least, not the most difficult thing to do. He got the job easy enough, and his new apartment was clean despite a faint smell of faded mildew, but everything else was a bit of a struggle.
Moving to a new city and uprooting his entire life wasn’t exactly something he had planned, but he was here now, and he was determined to try make the most of it, at least. He had a job at a local university, and he was getting to know all his coworkers though he kept mixing up names. He knew one of the architecture professors, Grian, because he’d gotten many apologies from him after getting caught in the crossfire of a prank meant for someone called Tango and had spent over a week with pink-tinged hair.
It was pretty hectic settling in, but there was one constant that always left Ren feeling just a bit less in a whirlwind.
One employee of the university Ren was constantly running into was Martyn. He worked with tech stuff, and while he wasn’t a professor he was always around doing something or other, helping people with any technology problems they might have and fixing them up. He worked closely with Ren, because he was one of the main people who helped out with sound and lighting for any plays or performances on the stage that Ren helped organise as a drama professor. It got to the point where most people assumed he was a part of the drama department considering he spent most of his time there, and helped out with tech on the side, though it was the reverse which was true.
Ren liked being around Martyn, not least because he was, to put it lightly, stupid hot. He had messy blond hair pushed back with a bandana, but it always found a way to escape and hover over his electric blue eyes. His smile was something that always made Ren feel a little lighter, and he was always happier after hanging out with Martyn, even if it was for two minutes while Martyn fixed his laptop that he always managed to break.
He was ridiculously witty, kind, funny, sarcastic, and dramatic enough to be after Ren’s own heart. Ren was ridiculously fond of him, but there was just one thing stopping it from being a regular friendship with a coworker, or even a friendship of any kind.
Because Martyn didn’t speak.
Well. Couldn’t, was probably the better word. Ren had a vague understanding there had been an accident of some kind many years ago, or that he had a condition, or... well, he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want to pry. Martyn communicated mostly through emails, texts, and pointing to things he’d typed out. In a one-on-one conversation, however… it was difficult. He used sign language, though most people didn’t understand, and he could mouth his words but it was difficult if his conversation partner couldn’t read his lips. He did have some kind of app on his phone where he could type stuff out and have it read it aloud for others, but from what Ren could infer from watching and spending time with him for a few weeks, Martyn didn’t really like using it unless it was fully necessary, and preferred to sign and mouth despite the fact most people couldn’t understand more than simple greetings or gestures.
So, generally, Martyn didn’t really have any casual conversations with people all that often. He displayed a lot with eye rolls and other nonverbal cues, but that typically wasn’t what people looked for in face-to-face communication. So he just… didn’t really do it a lot.
He’d emailed Martyn a fair few times, but they always lacked the personality and flair of a real life discussion. When he was face-to-face with the other, he tried his best to keep it normal, but it was always a bit awkward with having to stare at his lips to have any hope of catching what he said.
Not that I wouldn’t be staring at his lips anyway…
Ren sighed at the unhelpful thought, though at least he wasn’t in denial about it. What more was there to it? Martyn was sweet, funny, a good person, and horrendously attractive. Ren couldn’t help if he loved hanging around him way more than he should have, or if he might’ve purposefully messed up his laptop a tad on occasion to have an excuse to visit the handsome blond (only a little though—his tech usually broke with or without his help).
Nevertheless, Ren loved hanging out with Martyn, and he was determined to do so and have a nice time, communication barrier be damned.
…Easier said than done, unfortunately.
Ren took a deep breath to steel himself as he hovered by the other’s door. He knocked twice, and cracked the door open to see Martyn typing at something on his laptop, blond hair falling over his bright blue eyes as he concentrated. His eyes darted up, and he smiled at Ren as he beckoned him inside.
Ren awkwardly entered, closing the door behind him as he sat down in the chair in front of him. “Hey, uh, dude,” he said, immediately cursing himself for that opening. Could he be any more cringe?
Luckily for him, Martyn smiled, though he did hold up one finger to symbolise waiting, and went back to his laptop.
Ren understood, and waited in what felt like, to him, horridly awkward silence for a minute as Martyn finished whatever work he had on his computer. The small room filled with the sound of keys quietly clacking, and Ren looked around the sparsely decorated room that could be called cluttered if someone wanted to be polite. There was a large green waterbottle on the desk that seemed dangerously close to the computer in Ren’s opinion, even if it seemed leak-proof. It was a gigantic thing Martyn carried everywhere that he was constantly drank from. Ren didn’t know how one person drank so much water in a day. It was nuts.
Martyn looked up after a minute, and smiled. What’s up? Ren was pretty sure he mouthed, and the blond signed its translation despite knowing Ren probably hadn’t learnt a single sign in his life.
Ren cleared his throat, feeling immensely awkward in a way he desperately told himself was because of the communication barrier and not because of his crush. “Uh, my laptop’s not working again,” he said with an awkward smile, and held it up to the other.
Martyn rolled his eyes and shook his head, but there was a small smirk on his face as he grabbed it from the other and opened it. What’s the… Ren didn’t see what he mouthed next, and he blinked at the unknown sign.
“Um… sorry, what was that?” he asked, and Martyn pressed his lips together a little. God, he was messing this up so badly, wasn’t he?
Martyn mouthed, Problem? so dramatically Ren understood. He winced a little, hating the awkwardness, and replied, “Oh, yeah, right, right. Sorry. Uh… it’s signed me out of my email for some reason and crashes every time I open it, though I swear I didn’t forget my password this time. I dunno what I did.”
Martyn nodded, and typed something. He spun the laptop around and tapped it, and Ren didn’t need much more prompting when he saw the lock screen to know Martyn wanted him to unlock it.
“Right,” he muttered, and leaned over to type his password. When he was done, Martyn spun it back around so the screen faced him, and started typing again. Ren had no idea what he was doing, especially considering he was hopeless with technology himself, so he sat there in the silence.
Usually he would fill such a silence with a random conversation or ramble about his day, but he felt awkward about it when his companion couldn’t contribute to the conversation, considering Ren was atrocious at reading lips despite how he was trying to get better, and Martyn’s hands were busy fixing however Ren had broken his computer again.
After a minute, he cleared his throat and said, “Wanna hear a funny story from the other day?”
He hated his opener immediately, especially when Martyn paused and glanced up from his work. “Sorry, I don’t want to bother you,” he backpedalled in an instant, before Martyn surprised him by nodding.
Ren paused. “You, uh… you do?” he asked, surprised Martyn wasn’t kicking him out or something.
Martyn nodded again, confirming that he hadn’t hallucinated, and Ren nodded in return. “Uh… okay,” he said, now unsure what to say now he had permission. He cleared his throat again, and started, “So, uh, okay. Um, the other day, I was in class, right? We’re working on an improv unit this semester, theatresports. Yeah, just improvisational games. It’s a really fun unit, love teaching it, builds all sorts of skills. Anyway, uh, I love this class. Specifically, there’s this one group in particular, they’re all friends I think, who absolutely excel at every game I throw at them. Now, of course, the whole point of this unit is to push them out of their comfort zone. So I try split them up a bunch, make them work with others, typically ones who—ah—aren’t as… let’s say naturally skilled at it.”
Martyn nodded, and mouthed something Ren didn’t catch. He assumed it wasn’t that important, because it was only a word or two, and continued, “Well, yeah. So the other day, I make a random grouping, with three of these people who are pretty average at the class, and one of the ones who’re really talented. The game was Soap Opera, so a bunch of plot twists and long pauses and basically the dramatic factor cranked up to eleven. Any theatre kid’s dream, right? And this girl, she was really trying her best to hold the thing up, but the group was kind of slacking, and there’s only so much you can do in that sort of situation, right? I don’t remember what the prompt was, something to do with a sleepover or something, not really important. But basically, we have this sort of door prop left over from a production a few years ago, and they were kind of using it as like a closet or a cupboard or something. This girl hid in the cupboard, until randomly at one point she stepped out, walked over to one of the guys, clapped a hand on his shoulder, and was like, ‘I have some bad news for you. The cancer is terminal.’ Then she just… walked back into the closet. One of the other guys, I’ll give him credit here, he stomped over to the closet and opened it and acted like she wasn’t there anymore, like ‘Where did she go?’ And it was kind of weird, a little funny but not really, until about thirty seconds later when she stepped out, did the same thing, hand on his shoulder ‘I have some bad news for you. The cancer is terminal,’ and walked away again. Everyone was still confused, and it got funnier because of repetition and stuff, and then she continued to do it at regular intervals for the rest of the thing.
“And then, at some point because the whole thing was meant to be dramatic, one of the others said something dumb and dramatic and the one she kept saying had cancer gasped really loudly. Then I guess he must’ve gasped like too hard or something because he started coughing and kind of held a hand up. The others sort of hesitated because nobody was sure if it was part of the thing or not, and then he lowered himself to the floor and he was still coughing so someone broke character to ask if he was okay. Nobody really knew what to do, he seemed okay enough but just in a really bad coughing fit, and the room was kind of awkward because nobody knew what to say. But then the girl stepped out of the fake closet again, arms crossed, and looked down at him and just kind of shook her head with a sigh. And then she said, ‘I told him it was terminal,’ and then turned around and walked away.”
Martyn snorted. Ren wasn’t sure if he could actually laugh because that used vocal cords, but he smiled and let out a breath of laughter. He paused to mouth and sign, That’s really good.
Ren smiled, glad the other had looked back to his laptop so he wasn’t seeing Ren’s pink face. “Yeah, it’s… always entertaining, to say the least,” he said. “They’re all absolutely insane, but don’t tell any of them I said that. Still, it makes my job better. I’m not complaining.”
Martyn nodded, with a small smile on his face. There was silence for another minute, but not nearly as awkward as before. Ren found himself just enjoying the moment without feeling pressure to keep a conversation that would be mostly one sided, anyway.
After a few minutes, Martyn stopped typing to mouth and sign, It should be good now.
Ren let out a little relieved exhale. “Thanks, dude,” he replied gratefully, and half reached out a hand but paused awkwardly when Martyn went back to typing even though he thought he was done. Ren stood there for a weird moment, frozen and unsure what to do, before Martyn fully closed it and gave it back to him.
Sorry. I was just adding something, the other apologised, and Ren hesitated for half a moment.
“Oh, no, it—all good, dude,” Ren replied slightly awkwardly. “I mean—yeah, it’s fine. No worries.”
There was an awkward silence, one Ren knew he was the only one capable of filling but he didn’t know what to say. He had a feeling he was supposed to leave now that the interaction was technically over, but it felt… incomplete. Like something was missing.
He tucked his laptop under his arm and rocked on the balls of his feet. He pursed his lips, trying to think of something to say, and Martyn’s shining blue stare was as relentless as it was intimidating.
Ren cleared his throat, and his heart skipped a beat in his chest as he met Martyn’s gaze. Just do it, a part of him hissed, while the rest of his being revolted against the very idea, and wanted to leave the room and never enter again for how stupidly awkward this all was.
But… he had to do it. He’d been hanging around with Martyn for weeks, and couldn’t bear to leave the feelings he had unspoken. Martyn was such an incredible person he loved being friends with, but he also kind of wanted to be more. The only drawback to that was that he had to actually say it.
Or maybe he didn’t.
Ren took a deep breath and put the laptop down before he could change his mind, even as part of him immediately told him it was going to be too cringe and he should just leave. Martyn looked at him curiously, and Ren had to take a moment to steady himself and actually go through with it.
Before he could run from the room as fast as he could, Ren took a breath and moved his hands in the practised motions he’d done in front of the mirror over and over and over again. Would you want… to go see a play with me as a date?
His movements were clunky as he tried to remember what the actions were, and the signs were probably on the same level of coherence of a six year old speaking, but Martyn’s pretty blue eyes lit up.
You learnt to sign? he signed, speeding through the movements with his excitement, and Ren winced.
“I mean… not really,” he replied sheepishly, and tried to sign it as he spoke, though it was a terrible attempt. “I can mostly understand sign being spoken in front of me, but can’t really do it myself. Well, not spoken, but—you get what I mean. I can hopefully understand most things you sign without needing you to mouth it. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been trying to do.”
Martyn still looked incredibly excited, and signed, That’s awesome, dude! That’s so cool.
Ren grinned awkwardly, and replied, “Thanks.”
Martyn started to sign something else, but then he paused, and his brows furrowed. Ren winced, and Martyn slowly signed Hang on… Did you just ask me out?
Ren bit his lip. “…Maybe?” he hedged, the awkwardness returning full-force.
Martyn paused. Maybe? he repeated. Ren nodded. Maybe why?
He bit his lip again. “…Maybe because I maybe like you. And because maybe I think you’re pretty hot, and I want to go out with you. If you say yes, of course.”
Martyn seemed to think for a minute. With every passing second Ren wanted to sink into the ground and die.
Eventually, he signed something Ren didn’t know.
“What was that?” he asked. “Sorry, I don’t know that sign.”
Martyn paused, signed it again, then did the fingerspelling. Hypothetically.
Ren swallowed. “Hypothetically what?”
Martyn seemed to consider carefully, and he signed at a much slower pace than Ren saw normally. Hypothetically, with this maybe date invitation… if I were to maybe say yes because I maybe think you’re cute and I maybe like you too… Would you maybe like that?
Ren’s eyes widened, and there was a little happy smirk on Martyn’s pretty face. Ren felt himself grow red, and he nodded. “I would definitely like that,” he replied.
Martyn’s grin widened. Definitely? So not a maybe this time?
“There are a lot of maybes,” Ren admitted. “But not with this part. If you said yes, I would definitely be happy.”
Martyn smiled. Well then, I guess it’s a good thing I love making people happy, he replied. And that I’m maybe free on the weekend that I’d maybe like to spend with you.
Ren’s grin grew so large on his face it hurt his cheeks. Before he could process it, he walked around to the side of the desk and wrapped his arms around Martyn in a hug.
The blond froze, and Ren panicked for a moment as he realised what he’d done. He started to shift back so he could release Martyn from his impulsive movements, but then arms wrapped around him and squeezed him back.
Ren was surprised, but after a moment he sunk into the hug. Martyn’s arms were stronger than he’d expected, and the embrace was the most comfort Ren had received for an amount of time he didn’t care to admit.
Martyn couldn’t sign with his hands holding Ren, and Ren couldn’t talk with his face buried in the other’s hair, but it was alright. The two sat in comfortable silence, and they didn’t need words to speak what they thought.